Chapter 1: Finding The One

Chapter 1: Finding The One

“I’ve been in this bar for the past hour and nothing has happened, just like the previous nights I have taken the train from Stamford to Manhattan, spent hours hanging out in different clubs to find what I have been looking for and it’s been months and nothing, still nothing, no result, I have scouted most night clubs here at the upper west side but I seem to go nowhere, my frustration is growing, my hope is dwindling, will I ever find what I’m looking for? I have the criteria list memorized already, none of the guys I’ve met checked any of the boxes, they are just mostly drunks, it’s starting to look like the plan has failed, Will I ever be able to accomplish anything from this? I never realized it is going to be this hard, and now I am starting to feel a bit embarrassed”.

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Lola is feeling totally determined to go hunting for a guy who would make her dream come true, She needs to find a man who can become the father of her child. She knows she will not have it the traditional manner, because she is not in any relationship, and she is not interested in having one, the plan is to scout clubs in New York city and a one night stand would hopefully give it to her, that was the plan. she has never had any real intimate relationship before, she had one or two flings when she was younger but they never turned to anything serious, she has ended them even before any commitments are made and she is fully aware why she has avoided that. She has this feeling of distrust towards men, because the man who was suppose to be the one who first loved and protected her, was the first to hurt her. She grew up in New York city her father was a lawyer and she believed pressure from work had caused her dad to drink more than he should but he turns abusive towards her and her mother every time, they had to put up with him for a very long time until the day he almost killed her mom, and the police came and pick him up. She was already eleven when Her parents finally divorced after that incident and she and her mom moved to Stamford, Connecticut where they started a new life. Since then her mom was the only family she had, her strength and confidant her best friend in the world, she was her inspiration. So when her mom passed away suddenly, She felt lost alone vulnerable and hopeless. It was a great thing that when this happened she already had her best friends with her, Lily, Samantha and Katie, her partners in the baking and catering business that she and her mom had worked so hard to build. Her mothers legacy now, it used to be a home based business but when she finally finished studying and got he culinary degree, she helped out and they were able to build a good business from the ground and up and it progressed into a full bloom cake and coffee shop. And cookie cutter cakes and coffee was born. And her business became her life. Her moments in the kitchen are the best times of her day, the smells of vanilla and cinnamon makes her happy.

It was Katie who was the first to propose a partnership with her and instead of just a cake shop they started a catering business as well, Money is not an issue with Katie she was born with a golden spoon in her mouth, they have been friends since high school, they are like sisters, she used to hang out at her house almost every weekend because she said her family is boring, up to this day, if she is not with a boyfriend she is with her, so she grabbed her friends offer because she believed she will not fail and she has enough faith in herself, she’ll be able to manage their business, and she promised to her mom that she will succeed. And from there the other two joined in, lily who owns the only flower shop in town was interested with the catering and party planning and Samantha, a pediatrician in the community hospital just felt the need to be part of the business because she can’t be not part of it simple as that. They need to always be together on things like this. They have been friends for so long they can no longer count the years that they have been together, they know each other better than any of their own families, like sisters by choice they call it.

Cookie cutter, cakes and catering was born !! It’s been a good business it was steadily going up in profit and they have built a name for themselves, they are starting to be popular in town and they have also been doing out of town businesses. She opened a new cookie cutter shop and this time a two story building, they designed the second floor to serve as their headquarter or main office, or mainly a place to hang out when they need to relax, and a place for the four of them to be together when they need to share a little gossip. It was really doing well. And they are happy.

A few months ago when they celebrated Lily’s 28^th birthday and her boyfriend suddenly popped the big question if she would marry him where a tearful lily answered yes! Everyone was so glad for the couple, but somehow it had caused some unfamiliar feelings for Lola, she came to a realization that they are not getting any younger anymore, lily is a year younger than her that means she will be 29 this year and that next she will be 30 and the next 31, it will go so fast and she will be already old and have no one because for sure everyone will get married and have their own family, her friends are not like her who chose to be single, they are all in a relationship and they have brothers and sisters, they will someday have nieces and nephews if not their own children, and this thoughts sent her into a panic and deep depression. Yes she is happy for her friends and she loves them, and they love her for sure, but she can’t always be part of their future, there will come a time they will concentrate on their own families and then she will be ALONE! ALONE!!That word has never scared her so bad before now, it is causing her panic and anxiety.

A few days after the celebration of lily’s birthday slash engagement, Lola realized she has a problem with her mental health, she has been in a constant state of panic since then, so she decided to seek the help of a mental health specialist, a psychiatrist whom she believed could somehow help her out. But after a few meetings, it has not change in fact it it had plagued her so badly and she was now desperate to find a solution. She was offered a regular counseling, but it was not working, after a few sessions she gave up. She believed that the solution to her problem lies in her control, What she actually desires now is to ease that fear of growing old alone, but getting married is not an option, she doesn’t believe in that institution, it ended up so bad for her mom, it could happen to her too and besides what does she need a man for. She had survived without one, and was happier without one. The problem is, Will she have a child without one? She wants a family, wants a child, children if possible, she will be a good mom, willing to be the best mom ever. But how?

At first she considered adoption, and for advice she has gone to the parish church to talk to Father Alfred , he is a very gentle old soul, he’s been the priest their since she the first Sunday they arrived there, she and her mom always attended his masses, he was there for them when they were still new in the are and her mom was struggling for being newly divorced, father Alfred was there for them they never felt alone. She trust father Alfred, and maybe he could guide her through this one.

But the good old priests’ advice was not what she expected, He told her that this is maybe just a temporary desire, an impulse caused by the recent events, and that given time, the desire will fade away, adoption is not something you can do by impulse, just because you think a child will complete you and will give you the family you crave for, you can just go ahead and file for adoption, it is a lifetime commitment, you can’t go adopt a child and unadopt them whenever you want, it is not f******k where you can be friend and unfriend someone whenever you please. It is not like mashed potato that you put in your mouth and spit it out if you get burned because it is too hot. You need time to decide and consider, he told her. And indeed He was right! She agreed with the old man, what if she ends up regretting adopting will she return the child? What if she never learns to love the child as her own what will she do? So adoption is off the table for now.

Next she considered artificial insemination, so she went online and researched on how it is done, but the procedure alone for her is repulsive, and what if the sperm they give her is not the one she chose? She has read articles about women being given the wrong sperm. And she will never take that risk.

She has come to a point of indecision regarding this thing, maybe she will just give up.

But that desire to have a child has become more and more intense as days goes by!

She let it go for a few days, but it keeps bugging her, family is all she could think of now, every waking moment is thinking about a child of her own, it has to be her own.

So after much consideration, Lola finally decided to go on a secret mission to find a man to be the father of her child and for her to do that she has to do the unthinkable. But her determination is greater

than ever. So the mission impossible shall commence.

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She had been making this plan in secret for the past weeks, she did not dare say anything to any of her friends because because she was afraid they would judge her or they might discourage her, she has made up her mind, she will have to do this for her future, there is no backing down,

she knows her friends love her and they will someday understand, but she has to do this on her own.

So she set out a plan, carefully considered her schedule, set up her calendar, scouted the right places,

the best days to go, everything well planned and considered, even the look of the guy was considered,

he needs to have a perfect nose not to flat, not too pointy, not too tall, not too short, not too dark no to fair! The eye color it doesn’t matter. Her list is now complete the mission has to take place as soon as possible.