Chapter 6

I was very worried that I would find Jared at my condo when I returned home, but luckily he wasn’t there. I let out a huge sigh of relief.

At this second I was super glad that he didn’t have a key to my place. I felt secure being at home. Even though I was just starving a few hours ago, I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. I had lost any appetite that I had. So I ended up just popping a pill to help with the headache I ended up with from all the crying. I looked in the mirror at myself. I barely recognized myself. I looked awful. I wasn’t someone who cared too much about my appearance but this was almost too much.

I cleaned my face up, brushed my teeth and went to snuggle up with my pillows in bed. They comforted me as I cried some more.

The next morning I woke up to pounding on my door. My heart dropped. Was it Jared? I wasn’t ready to deal with how I felt yet.

I got myself up out of bed and walked to the door. I peeked out the little hole and seen it was Tim! I was beyond relieved to see it was him.

I opened the door, “what are you doing here so early? I did give you a key so you could let yourself in and not annoy me with your pounding.” I said with half a smile.

“Avery called me. She said I should check on you. But she didn’t tell me why, so I was worried.” Tim then realized I was wearing a huge ring on my finger. “Oh my God. He proposed?!? Why didn’t you call me!?”

At that moment, I realized I never took off the ring. I looked at it. It made me burst into tears.

My brother was beyond confused, but he grabbed me in for a hug anyways. I may have been the big sister, but my brother always loved and protected me like a big brother would for a little sister. We were very close. We were all each other had left.

I could barely get the words out of my mouth to Tim knowing that he and Jared were buddies. I whispered “he cheated on me.”

Tim pushed me back but kept his hands on my shoulders then looked me in the eyes. “He did what?” He stared blankly back at me. It just made me cry harder. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he would cheat on you.”

“You and me both” I sheepishly chimed in.

“Did you guys break up? Do I need to go smash his car or something?”

He wanted me to leave out a little chuckle or anything except the massive amounts of tears flowing from my eyes, but I just couldn’t. The pain was still raw.

Tim pulled me back in for a tight hug. “You don’t want to talk about it yet. It’s okay. I got you.”

His words calmed me down just slightly.

“I just don’t know what to do.”

“You will. Your heart will tell you what to do.”

My brother was right. I just had to sit and listen to my heart.

Another couple days went by as I focused mostly on my class work from home. I didn’t let myself feel too much since I was all but done with my online class and didn’t want it to affect my grade. The sooner I finish, I can figure out what I want to do. My love life is a mess, but at least I will be well prepared for whatever career path I choose. But then it hit me. I was choosing my education over my love life. The love life I had a HUGE decision to make. In that moment I had realized I made a decision about Jared the day I left his house in a rush. I was just putting off what HAD to happen. A part of me was worried I would cave to his begging. I did love Jared with all my heart. A part of me would always love him. But love wasn’t enough without trust. I had to remember that as I grabbed my keys to make the drive over to his place.