FORGIVE AND FORGET.

That day, I didn’t want to believe my grandmother’s words.

I cried for days and days turned two weeks and weeks turned into months.

She would starve me for days and treat me like some scum. I cried to the heavens, promising to be good if my mother comes back to me.

I wouldn’t cry anymore.

I wouldn’t scream at her anymore. I wouldn’t play with toys if she didn’t want me to.

I wouldn’t wake up at night and ask for milk again.

I wouldn’t ask her when I was going to the park to get some ice cream. I wouldn’t question her anymore. I wouldn’t ask what she can’t afford. I would make sure I stay in my spot and be an invisible child.

Yet, it was too late. My prayers were dashed into the sea.

I never saw my mother again.

My grandmother died afterwards. Since I had no guardian, I was taken to an orphanage; it became worse.

I was alone and bullied most of the time, glad I got adopted by wonderful parents. I wouldn’t say they are the best, but they are manageable.

That was how I met Noah, who broke my trust and trample on my pride.

Coming around a few hours later, I discovered the time had gone by. I got up and closed the door behind me, rushing to Kristen’s apartment since she will be back from school.

I got to the apartment and noticed it was kind of closed.

I used the spare key she gave me and opened the door and went inside, shutting the door behind me.

It was quite noiseless. I unlocked the door to her room, tiptoeing.

Her bed was scattered and used condoms were on the floor.

I was surprised and dumbfounded at what the hell was this girl up to and at least if she was going to have sex she might as well lock the door properly and clear up this mess.

I felt disgusted and irritated.

Is she around or out with whoever she slept with and left the apartment in a mess?

My curiosity got the best of me.

I went to the bathroom and unlocked the door knob and bumped into them, kissing so passionately in the tub and it seemed they were taking a bath together and having sex.

“Oh, fuck, baby,’ she moaned. “Go harder. I’ve been waiting for this, faster.” She seductively said, biting her lower lip, holding her two breasts, fingering them and seemed lost. Her eyes kept opening and closing.

“Ahhhh…agh…screw me shitless. Fuck me like a bitch, a whore.” She yelled.

“That’s what you are, my little slut.” He groaned as he thrust in.

And went deeper into her, ravishing her as his eyes glittered with desire and held her breast as he went faster and faster, moaning and screaming out in pleasure.

“I’m cumming, baby,” she cried, playing with her pussy, fingering it and moaning out loud.

The dude went faster and faster, slamming into her as he groaned.

I can’t believe I’m seeing this with my fucking naked eyes of the day.

I cleared my throat, so they will notice I’m in the bathroom with them.

Kristen saw me and was shocked.

She quickly took her rope and covered herself while her boyfriend, or whoever he was, covered himself with his rope as well with annoyance.

Guess I jeopardized the moment.

Well, serve them right, for inviting me in and making the access easy for me.

“Hey, what are you doing here?’ She whispered.

I could notice the sign of shame on her face and then she turned to her boyfriend and excused us.

She held my hand and dragged me away from the bathroom, and we stopped at the dining room.

“What do you think you are doing? You scared me like shit, Larisa.’ She almost shouted, and she was still covering herself.

“I came to see you.’ I replied and frowned at her.

“Then you could have called and told me you were coming.’ She said and grimaced at me, too.

“When have I ever called and told you I was coming to your apartment, anyway?” I asked, still scowling, deluding myself to be furious.

“Well, you call sometimes.’ She hesitated and stared at me, smacking her forehead.

“Do I need to take permission before I come to see you?’’

“You don’t need all that but respect my privacy, jeez,’ she nearly snapped. “When you saw what was occurring, you could have left, not ruin the moment.’

“Sorry for ruining your moment.’ I rolled my eyes, not feeling remorseful about what I did.

“Alright, stop talking about it, it’s embarrassing,’’ she said quickly, lowering down her head and fixing her rope. “Did anything happen to you? I didn’t see you at school.’

“Oh,” I sighed. “Just go attend to that guy first. I will stick around.’

“Alright, give me a minute.” She winked.

“Ok,’ I agreed. I knew she was dead with embarrassment. Didn’t mean to ruin the moment but it kind of worked.

A minute turned into an hour. Well, not that I care, but I do care.

Kristen is a close friend of mine. We met at the beginning of high school, after she helped me fill in a form I couldn’t retrieve just to not let lose my test.

She was such a sweetheart, saving me from trouble. I could rely on her. She is a great friend and she could be annoying.

Kristen was done attending to her man, whatever the fuck he was to her.

I wonder when she will stop sleeping with different men and look for someone her age. She and the dude went out, leaving me in the living room.

I don’t know what came over me, but I felt bad seeing how lovey dovey Kristen is around her man made me recall Noah. Tears flooded down my cheeks.

“What’s the matter? This isn’t like you.’ She said, getting closer to me and handing me a tissue.

When did she come back?

“I saw him in bed with a man.” I blurted. After all, that’s why I came to her.

“Molly shit,’ she cursed. “I told your dumbass to be careful. Look what you’ve done.”

“This isn’t my fault,’ I said instantly, brushing off my tears. “I can’t. I don’t know what to tell my parents. How should I tell them that Noah is gay?”

“I warned you. The instant he began talking about hot guys all the time, acting innocent and nervous when it became about men. I told you. You said that’s how he has always been. He’s innocent and not the type to fuck around, let alone a man. And you refused to listen to me. Can you see what you’ve caused?”

“I did nothing wrong. I loved him.” I argued.

“But he didn’t love you. He was into guys. I know a gay person when I see one, girl. I’ve been to a lot of fucking clubs. I know how it is. I know the rules. I told you, yet you said I was lying and overreacting.”

I yelled. “If you were in my position, you would understand how I feel right now. Don’t give me crap, Kristen.”

“I will understand, but not be as stupid as you. Get me. Now, I see why he wasn’t in school today.’

“What do you mean?’ I questioned.

“He wasn’t in school today. Doesn’t that mean he knew what he did?” Kristen rolled her eyes and grabbed a bowl of grapes in front of her at the table.

“It feels like a dream. I’m trying to forget what he did to me. I can’t seem to get it away from my head.” I confessed.

“You can forgive him, not a big deal.”

“Forgive him? Not a big deal,’ I sneered, laughing bitterly. “Over my dead body.” I strongly uttered and kicked the table in front of me.

“What the hell.” She shouted. “Don’t break my table, Larisa.”