Chapter 2

LEAVE

I just took a rest for an hour before I woke up and prepared for my 10:30 am class. I did my morning routine and curled my hair a bit before I dressed up and wore my university uniform.

After that, I put my pole dancing training outfit inside my duffle bag, pati na rin ang mga knee and arm pads ko. Dahil every time my class ended, I headed straight to the practice room.

Pole dancing has been my sport from the very start, when I was 9 years old and joined the gymnastics at my previous school, my coaches said that I should give it a try doing pole dancing and then it became my passion and the only thing that makes me relieve my stress.

Tinignan ko ang aking sarili sa salamin bago ko inayos ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakaharang sa aking mukha, itinali ko sa kalahati ang aking buhok bago naglagay ng lipgloss sa aking labi.

I'm not into colorful makeup look, I just want a simple and fresh kind of look when I go to my classes. It makes me feel comfortable and when I'm doing my training in Pole dancing, I remove my makeup before starting, so it would be a waste of time if I work hard on my makeup then I will just remove it half of the day.

I take a glance for the last time before I grab my bag and step out of my room, bumababa ako at agad nawala ang ngiti sa aking labi ng makita ko si Mom na kakarating lang.

Kung nalate pala ako hindi pa rin ako mahuhuli, because what can I say my mom is always busy and late.

I haze at her gaze, lalagpasan ko na sana siya at sa university na lang mag breakfast ng tawagin niya ako, "Louen good morning darling" she said, walk towards my place and kiss my cheeks.

I just nodded at her and walked away, giving her that cold treatment and didn't give a damn on her second call. Kinuha ko ang susi ng aking sasakyan bago tumuloy sa parking.

I drive myself through the University and park my car near our building, then attend my first class. Like Ash, I do study a lot but not like him who didn't stop studying. I just prioritise study over anything.

Gusto kong makapagtapos hindi dahil iyon ang dapat, gusto ko dahil isa ito sa goal ko, I will never let go of my study kahit na anong mangyari. I want to graduate and be an accountant.

I always dream on wearing a office uniform, working on my own, hindi umaasa sa pera ng magulang ko at nagagawa ko ang mga gusto kong gawin. I wanna live where I don't need to expect anything from anyone.

As I move to my next class, I notice one of my classmates keeps on glancing at me, I often caught him staring at me. I don't know his name but what he's doing creeps me out.

Sinubukan kong wag pansinin ito at magpatuloy sa activity na ginagawa, but I could still feel that he's not stopping. Kaya nang matapos ang klase agad kong kinuha ang aking mga gamit bago nagmamadaling lumabas ng room.

But he followed me, I walked even faster but he's still following me. Tumakbo ako sa hallway kung saan maraming student bago ko ito hinarap at tinanong. "Why are you following me?" I asked and frowned my brows on him.

Napakamot siya ng kanyang batok, nahihiya siyang tumingin sa akin. I stared at him and waited for him to speak. "Ahm.." he uttered and got something from his bag. Wait I think I know him, He's part of the varsity players.

"This for you" My eyes widened when he handed me a Gucci paper bag with a box in it. Lahat ng estudyante sa paligid namin ay pinapanood kami at tila nagulat din gaya ko sa binibigay niya. "For me?" I asked, and he nodded with a shy smile.

"Why?" I ask because I'm so confused. Masyado itong mahal para ibigay lang sa babaeng hindi niya naman kakilala. I don't really know him that much, and we're not close.

"I like you" he said, making the crowd react, "Can I court you?" he asked. I smile and slowly give back what he handed and say, "I'm sorry, I'm not open for any relationship and courting. I'm busy with my study and pole dancing, I'm sorry" I said, quickly turning my back on him before walking fast towards the practice room.

"He's crazy" I whisper, I mean why would he buy an expensive thing and use it on his confession. Umiling nalang ako bago tumuloy sa restroom at nagpalit.

I just wear a Calvin Klein bralette and boyleg and top it with a cotton oversize blouse. Itinaly ko ang blouse sa gilid para hindi ito maging sagabal sa pagsasayaw ko.

I often practice here alone, dahil karamihan ng ibang pole dancer ay umaga ang training, and I have a bit hectic schedule that's why I end up practicing alone. Nagstretching muna ako dito sa gilid bago tumuloy sa pole.

I play the music before I stand in front of the pole and close my eyes.

The beat started airing around the room, collided with the passion spreading out of me and the fire of the music. I slowly touch my legs up to my stomach, up to my chest into the air. I start dancing and admiring the bewildering of the music.

"Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise, tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised, now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it, already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it" the lyrics are significant.

The music that keeps the passion on fire, I lift up my body on the pole and do the v invert position and turn into split invert and cross knee release. The music is strong and empowering. That's why I'm putting a lot of strength on my upper body so I can do a swan spin.

"I'm headed straight for the castle, they wanna make me their queen and there's an old man sitting on the throne, that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean"

I reach up near to the end of the pole, I take a deep inhale before I do a twisted ballerina and fall till the near bottom of the pole and hold.

"I'm headed straight for the castle, they've got the kingdom locked up and there's an old man sitting on the throne, that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut, straight for the castle" I haze and get off the pole, I didn't get the level I want, masyadong malayo pa ako sa rag, I need to be an inch away from it.

I stop the music and rewind it, and start again, from the top. " 1 2 3" I whisper before I do the twisted ballerina again and fall an inch apart the rag. My head almost hit the rag. "Too close" I whisper and try again.

"A bit far"

"Super close!"

"Nope, Again"

Nakailang ulit na ako, pinunasan ko ang aking pawis bago umakyat muli sa mataas na parte ng pole. I did the twisted ballerina and I was about to do the falling trick when I saw someone on the door.

I stop and go down the pole, she smiles and walks towards my place, "What are you doing here?" I ask. "Twisted ballerina fall trick?" tanong niya sa akin, how did she know that?

I nodded as an answer and she smile at me, "You need to be at the very tip to get that trick" she said, bago niya ibinaba ang bag at hinubad ang kanyang suot na dress. She's wearing a white sando inside with black boyleg shorts.

"Ganito" sambit niya bago inulit ang tugtog at umakyat sa itaas ng pole. I watched her close her eyes and smile before he quickly did the twisted ballerina trick and hit the music so right when she did the fall trick. My lips parted as she got the right level I wanted.

Iminulat niya ang kanyang mga mata bago ako tinignan ata naghand stand sa pole and lift her upper body using her legs and do inverted crucifix. "Wow" I whispered, making her look at me and smile.

"Try mo" she said and pointed to the next pole beside her. I nodded and we both went up the pole and she showed me how she did it so quickly. "Wait for the beat, 1 2 3" we both fall at three, "Stop" she said and we both stop where the level I've been wanting to stop in.

I look at her filled with amusement, bumababa siya sa pole at ganun din ang aking ginawa, "How did you know that?" tanong ko. My feelings are bouncing as I finally know how to hit that level.

"Ah nagpopol---" hindi niya natapos ang sasabihin niya ng "Paris?" We both look at the door where my friends are standing with those rose brows. I realize that my friends don't like her, that's why I step forward, move away from her.

Sinuot niya ang dress niya bago kinuha ang bag, pumasok sila Stacey, Devy at Faith dito sa loob at tinignan siya mula ulo hanggang paa bago tumingin sa akin. "What is she doing here, Paris?" they ask me.

Napatingin ako sa kanya na ngayo'y nakayuko na, "I don't know she's bothering me!" I said and avoided her gaze when she looked at me. "Hey whore stop messing with my friends, ok or else!" Stacey pushed her and showed something on her phone.

"I'm gonna expose your sugar daddy" I gasp when I saw this girl beside me in the picture laying with an old man, and money all over the place. Napatingin ako sa kanya at siya naman ngayon ang umiwas ng tingin.

"Wag, aalis na ako sorry hindi na mauulit" she said and walked past through Stacey and Stacey didn't let her go so easily, she pulled her dress that caused it to rip. "Oh my gosh hahaha" Decy said.

"Stacey you're so bad" Faith said while laughing. The girl just shook her head, held her dress and ran out of here. "Oh my g that is so hilarious Stacey, you're so on fire" Devy said to Stacey and laughed together with Faith.

"Don't worry Paris, she won't bother you again" Stacey said and smiled at me, I just nodded at her, "I'll just change" I utter before I get my bag and change inside the restroom.

After changing, the four of us head to the coffee shop. "Paris you're going right?!" tumigil ako sa pagbabasa ng updates sa social media ko ng magsalita si Stacey. "Where?" I ask.

"To my cousin's party, it's tonight, right remember what I said that I'd pay for the drinks?" she said,hindi ako naka sagot agad dahil alam kong alanganin ako kay Mom ngayon. "Oh my gosh, don't tell me you're not coming with us, Paris?" Devy said.

"Oh no that's a terror" Faith said, Stacey looked at me and said, "You would be such a KJ if you wouldn't come, and my cousin is your crush, right?" actually I don't really like his cousin, I'm just acting like I like him, because I don't want her to be offended.

"Ahm sure, I'll come" I said and avoided their gaze, we just drank and talked then went home to prepare. Pagpasok ko sa bahay agad akong sinalubong ni Mom. "Louen your home" she said and kissed my cheeks.

I nodded and "Mom, I'm going to a party tonight" I said, hindi siya tunog nagpaalam,I know it, I make it sound like the party is a must to attend to. "What? Party nino?" tanong ni Mom.

"My friend's cousin's birthday. It's important, he invited me personally, so He's expecting me to come Mom, so I'm going ok----" she didn't let me stop and look at me with those straight eyes.

"No" she answered, "What no? No? You mean I can't come?!" I ask with disbelief; this can't be happening.

She nodded, "Yes, you can't go to that party Louen, better stay here at the house"

"No Mom, I need to go, he invited me" pagpupumilit ko, "No Louen, you know me when I say no, no you are not going anywhere tonight" she seriously said.

"Yeah, I know you! You're the worst mom!" I hazed and ran to my room, nakasalubong ko pa si Ash na pababa, he looked at me like he heard what I said and I just rolled my eyes on him and locked myself inside my room.

Patuloy lang akong nagdabog sa loob ng aking kwarto hanggang sa mag 10 pm na, I know Mom is already sleeping at this time when she's not on work, I decided to sneak out again.

I wear a paired with hot red dior heels. I put makeup on and tie my hair up. Also put my phone, wallet and cards on my purse before I slowly step out of my room. The lights were off already, only the kitchen lights were open.

I slowly go down without making any sounds, I head to the door but my heart stops when I see Mom standing outside, she looks at me with frowned brows, "Where are you going young lady?" she asked. What the fuck is she doing outside?!

Nandito na lang din naman ako tumayo ako ng maayos at sinagot siya, "I'm going to the party whether you like it or not!" I said and looked at her fearlessly. "Ano? Hindi ba sinabi ko na hindi ka pupunta Louen, you're staying here" she said.

"No way, I will go because I want to, you can't stop me!" I hazed and walked past her but she grabbed my wrist and made me face her, "Look at you Louen! Hindi kita tinuruan ng ganito your friends are a bad influence, didn't I told you to avoid them and stay away from them pero ang tigas ng ulo mo!" she started to get mad at me, I smirk and say,

"You don't have the right to choose friends for me Mom!!" If she's mad, I'am too!

"But I have the right to choose what's best for my DAUGHTER!!!" She said emphasizing the word daughter. "I don't care about your rights!!!" I said and turned my back on her.

"What did you just say?" hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong, I smile in anger and face her once again. "I said I don't care about your rights as my mother!!!" I slowly said so she could understand.

I see pain in her eyes but I know that's fake, "You weren't there when I needed a Mom to tell me what to do, because you're always busy with your precious work, now that I don't need any of your advice you keep on bugging me!"

She just looks at me while I'm talking, now she's out of words! Kanina ang dami niyang sinasabi. "You know what it's better if you stay on your work forever, I don't really need a mom right now---" I couldn't finish what I'm gonna say when she slapped me real hard.

That suddenly fired my anger, I faced madness all over me and said, "You know what I mean it! I don't need a mom! I don't need a desperate Mom like you!!!" she slapped me once again and said, "How dare you say that to me" she darkly said.

"Why? Aren't you desperate Mom! Diba, you are that desperate to make dad love you, so you steal sperm cells from him just to make me, and make him take the responsibility of this stupid act" I said, making her stop, "P-paano---" I stop her and smiled. "Such a selfish and stupid act Mom! Do you know the feeling? This fucking feeling of knowing that I was made up by desperation, selfishness?" anger is running all over my body, I can't control it anymore.

"N-no---" tears started falling from her eyes.

"I'm right diba, you are so desperate, Mom!!!" I shouted and heard the gates open; I slowly glanced at it and saw my Dad.

He heard me, his aura instantly became so dark and he walked towards us and slapped me so hard making me feel that numbness on my cheeks.

"How dare you disrespect your Mom like that!!!" Dad darkly asks and looks at me fiercely. "Why is it true Dad!! She's desperate and you! You didn't really love me!! You are just taking responsibility of us, you don't love me that's why you're always not here because you can't bear to see us!!1 and that;s because of the stupidity that Mom did!!!"

"MILO!!!" Mom shouted when Dad slapped me once again, causing me to fall on the floor. "I HATE THIS HOUSE!!!" I shouted so loud.

"You hate it here? Then leave!!! Bring all her things out here, I don't tolerate a daughter who doesn't respect her parents!! You can't respect us and leave! I don't need a daughter who doesn't see the good in her mother!!! Leave" para akong nagising sa katotohanan ng sabihin ni Dad iyon.

"No Dad I don't want to leave" I utter, "You're leaving this house!! You don't want to be ruled by living your life alone!! You don't know what your mom's been through and yet you have the guts to say those words to her!!!!" Dad is so mad.

"No Dad, I'm sorry" I said and tried to hold his hand. The maid stepped outside of the house with my things and brought them out of the gate.

"Leave my house now!!! Live your life like what you wanted to!!!" Dad said and pulled me out of the house. "No dad, please no, please dad no, you can't do this!!!" I shouted and tried to hold his hand. Fear and pain started to eat me. No please...

"I can," he said and closed the gate. I wiped my tears and the anger built up again, and what they did is proof that they don't really love me!

"FINE, I DON'T NEED PARENTS LIKE YOU!!!"

"I CAN STAND ON MY OWN!!!"