I promised Jake that I will take the day off on Sunday, which I did.
I went home.
Allowing myself to reminisce every memory I have of my Grandparents the moment I set foot in Nonna’s garden.
Thick and lush foliage Marigold is a huge contrast to the little sunflower softness of her daisies. Variety of orchids clung to the driftwoods that she specifically ordered from Italy. Two-lipped ray florets of gerberas in bountiful colors nestled under the beauty of greens. As I reached the double doors, the mingled scents of jasmine and roses did it for me.
I am home.
I sighed deeply, unlocking the door. Soon I was engulfed by the fresh roses and jasmine that our house cleaner handpicked from the garden. Nonna loves having the fresh flowers scents. She once told me that if she could grow a Sakura tree in our garden, she would be over the moon.
This mansion is Nonno’s pride. His design was intended to have that sophisticated indoor and outdoor experience of the coastal living. Even the materials used in construction were ordered from Italy.
As the ten foot smart door swung open, the soaring ceilings with an open staircase welcomed me. The house was naturally lit by the skylights, it’s even prettier in the evening when the stars are visible. Walking further into my home, the spacious Arclinea design kitchen opens into a spacious dining, living bar and lounge area.
Heaving a sigh, I climbed the stairs and headed to my room. The majestic view of the Pacific and its waves that screams power from my balcony had me wandering. I haven’t touched the ocean, nor have had the strength to come and dip in its waters.
Shaking my head, I went inside my walk-in closet and changed into my green bikini. Topping it with my robe and a towel in one hand, I headed out back through the kitchen to the infinity pool. Removing my robe, I stretched my limbs before jumping into the waters.
I did a few laps. Needing my muscles to work further to exhaustion.
The water in the pool was calm and controlled. A lot more different from the ocean in a distance. The crystal blue water reflecting the clueless skies, so far from my reach.
After a few laps, I faced the sky, free floating like I weighed nothing above the water. Closing my eyes, the sunlight prickling my skin. I once again forgot to put on sunscreen and I smiled at remembering how Nonna would scold me… all the time.
“Bobbie,” the voice of our house cleaner Rose woke me up from daydreaming.
“Yeah?” I swam on the edge of the pool. The water sings with my movement. My palms faced flat on the edge, I lifted myself from the waters and reached for the towel I laid on the chair.
“How are you, little one?” Rose asked, putting down a glass of orange juice on the table. She is almost the same age as Nonna and when I was dried enough, I pulled the kind lady for a hug.
“I’m alright,” I reached for the glass of juice she prepared and took a huge gulp and mumbled a thank you.
“I can stay here for a while with you if you want,” she offered, clearly consoling me, wanting to join me in my misery.
I shook my head. Rose is taking care of her grandchildren, two of them are living with her and I would never ask her to stay in. “I’m good, thank you. Jake will be back soon from bootcamp.”
We talked some more about things not concerning her previous employer’s death. When she bid goodbye, I did a few more laps and only gave up when I felt my muscles screaming for rest.
I took a shower, made lunch and laid on my bed. Sleep is easy when the body is exhausted. I learned this in the last couple of days and it’s a pleasant escape.
When I opened my eyes, it was already dark outside. I saw a few messages on my phone, but my Instagram account was going on haywire. Too many notifications popping up, and I was suddenly curious what the ruckus was about.
My heart clenched at the video I’m seeing. Part of me wishes this was just a not so funny prank, or a nightmare gone bad.
My phone kept vibrating as I watched the video on replay.
It was Jake, clearly wasted and in a party mode. The lack of lightning dimmed the video, but because of good technology; the uploader made it seem taken in the luminescence.
My boyfriend was sitting languidly on a couch, a girl with fiery red hair nestled comfortably on his lap, straddling him. Their lips locked in a heated passion, savoring the feel of each other’s mouth. Clearly lost both in their own world, they are oblivious of the person taking this intimate scene they’re having. People in the same wasted state gathered around them, drinks in their hand, uncaring about the betrayal Jake was committing against our relationship.
His hands rested on her hips, guiding her to grind against his obvious need. They are still fully clothed. Naked or not, I don’t think it will change the painful stab of an invisible knife being guided along my chest… aimed at my heart.
The pain was different. And when I say I know pain, I say this with fact backing my words up.
I am strong; I kept repeating this in my head, but my tears will scream a protest. My knees felt boneless, the carpeted floor of my room cradling my languid body.
This can’t be happening to me. I can’t accept this.
Not Jake.
No.
This is just a work of my imagination.
I don’t know whether my heart that I was building again piece by piece with my grandparent’s death can shatter into tiny pieces… it did. Jake did.
As I slumped there on my bedroom floor, my tear ducts abundantly graced me with the endless flow of its products.
I stared at the pearl white walls of my room, wondering why he would do this to me.
How can he say he loves me and kisses someone else? It’s not as if they are having sex. They didn’t have to. The result on my end would still be the same. He hurt me when he promised he won’t. Jake betrayed me when he said he wouldn’t.
It was difficult accepting someone’s death. I thought it was the most painful thing I would ever feel in my life, yet fate hit me hard. Where it would hurt the most.
Time passed by in slow motion. The path of my tears took dried and marked. I got no more tears, even if I wanted to cry more. The ring on my finger lost its meaning. At the moment Jake slid in on my fingers, I felt light-hearted, as if I was floating in the air. Now, it felt like an anchor keeping me at bay, holding me in a place that would not allow me to smile again.
There was a knock on my bedroom door and I got startled. Who could it be? I was alone in this house and no one has the key except for me. I was keeping Nonno’s handgun under my bed and I hastened to get it.
“Who is it?” I rasped. The pain that consumed my throat when I spoke was tolerable than the pain in my chest. I tucked the 92FS into the waistband of my jeans. Taking cautious steps to my bedroom door, my pace matched a deep inhale and exhale.
“It’s me,” that voice made me freeze.
Can it be real?
Is he here?
It’s been over ten years and his voice hasn’t changed a bit.
My door was unlocked, and before I could open it, it swung open revealing my cousin Mathew. His raven hair was longer than I remember, it was tied neatly in a low ponytail, giving a perfect view of his chiseled jaws and unshaven stubble. His skin was a little darker than before, but his blue eyes were still the same.
“Bobbie,” he whispered as I ran towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his chest.
What are the chances that fate sent my favorite person in the world to my aide? It overwhelmed me with pain and happiness at the same time. I don’t know which one is the cause of the new set of tears.
Matt stayed in Italy for so long because of the family business. We grew up together, em and Matt. He was more of a brother to me than a cousin, and his presence is a much-needed one in my life right now.
“Shh. I’m here now. I’m sorry if it took me so long to come home.” I didn’t say anything as I continued to sob and sniff.
Tightening my arms around Matt, I savored the feel of comfort in his arms. I didn’t want to break away, in case he was just a figment of my imagination. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was. Jake’s action already took the meaning of the word surprise for me.
Matt kept apologizing, clearly unaware of the reason my tears are pouring like rain.
When I pulled away from him, he kissed the top of my head and guided me downstairs. Matt’s cool cologne is accentuated with faint smoldered jet fuel flames and coffee. He must’ve taken a commercial flight instead of using the family plane. The two huge luggage with airport’s stamps nestled in the middle of the living room was proof.“Are you staying for a while?” I asked once I trusted my voice to come out properly and poured him a glass of water.“Yeah, Mom asked me to stay with you for a while. Dad will be taking care of everything in Italy while I check some possible business investment here... until your graduation.”This is good. I need to have my mind working on other things than dwelling with the wound in my chest. Mission of the hour, a decent meal for Matt. I was ru
I willed myself to focus on study and work. Just to get my life moving forward. Just to stop myself from drowning in sorrow.Chris even gave me an early bonus. I don’t know what bonus he was talking about, but he said that the clients were pleased with my work and dropped fat tips on the tip box. That’s how it works in their shop, together and as a family. What one has, the others should have as well. Everything is divided equally, be it work or tips.I sent messages to my best friends using my new phone, and I told them I was okay. That I have the Stanleys, Lee, and Matt with me.“Do you want me to put rat poison in his drink?” Mellissa rolled her cool blue eyes, bitching on the other line of facetime.“Poison is too tame, Mel, I’ll c
Anton, Ben, and Matt found someone to dance with. Wide grins displayed on each girl’s features, enjoying their time in my cousin and friend’s arms.Lee announced his presence behind me by tapping my sweaty shoulder. When I turned around, he scratched the back of his neck. “Can I?” a sheepish smile splayed on his lips, a hand offered for me to grab.Returning Lee’s smile, I wound my arms around his neck and swayed my body to the remix tune of Lady Gaga’s ‘Just Dance’.With my arms around Lee’s shoulder, I felt the heavy sigh he let out. Who knew Lee was a shy guy. Leaning my forehead on his shoulders, he loosened up a bit and moved in the same beat that hazed my body. We laughed, danced, screamed and laughed some more, enjoying this night with my friends.
Is it too soon to entertain someone? Is there a time frame before I allow myself to go out with someone else? It’s just a date that Cole is asking. It’s not as if he asked me to be his girlfriend.“Hm, I just got out of something,” I replied, my chest expanding in a mixture of excitement and fear. “I don’t think I’m ready for something serious at the moment, Cole.”A sigh left Cole’s lips. His thumb kept rubbing soothing circles over my skin. “We can take things slow. Get to know each other.”Meeting a stranger in a club who was willing to get to know me and not hit on the first chance he sees is refreshing. I’ve been to high school parties and mostly, the party crashers would want to make out as soon as they laid their eyes on a girl in a tight
I dressed Jake’s bruised knuckles and let him sleep on my bed. He kept murmuring the same things, but I just can’t get myself to believe him. Jake fell asleep quickly, and I took a warm shower before walking downstairs. Matt is making hot chocolate by the kitchen for the two of us. Clothes already changed as well.“Jack went to sleep in the guest room,” he informed me while I took a sip of the warm drink. “I know I have no right to say anything about your relationship with Jake, but I think you should give him a chance to explain himself, Bobbie.”I nodded my head and rubbed my temple. “Maybe,” it has been a long night.I slept in my grandparent’s room and cried myself to sleep. It was the first time I entered their room since the accident and their mixed scent w
The three of us, Mel, Candice and I were shopping at the mall on Sunday. Well, they’re shopping and I’m just here for moral support and my expert opinion, note the sarcasm please.After having lunch, we walked around the mall again, hunting for the perfect waterproof mascara. The competition which is due next Friday is making my best friends a bit edgy. Must be the nerves. This is the first time they’ll be cheering without me, somehow responsible for giving them more pressure at my absence in the team.My foot is aching even though I was wearing my comfy Chuck Taylor. We ate a lot, strolled around the mall three times and ate some more.Ready to head home, we stopped by the restroom to freshen up a bit. We head inside the cubicle and glad that the restroom was empty even on a Sunday.
“I love you,” I breathe out the words I’ve longed to say. This is the reason seeing him kiss another girl broke me more than it should, the agony in my heart, for I love this boy. “I love you the moment you punch Chuck for asking me out. I love you since you were teasing me on my pink tutu, Jake.”He chuckled and the sound of his laughter made me feel my heart thumping with happiness inside my chest.“I love you, Bobbie. So damn much,” he pulled me to devour my mouth with a loving kiss. “I don’t want anyone kissing you again, Bee. I’ll kill anyone who takes what’s mine.”It’s my turn to giggle. I got my Jake back. The life in his tawny eyes is back.“Am I? Yours, Handsome?”
Jake was reading ‘Love & Friendship’ out loud. My cheeks are hurting from the wide stretch it had been on since he started acting in front of me. One hand holds the book and the other moves freely in the air. For a huge figure like him, it is a bit hilarious to see his face so focused on acting every line.He’s like a poet, with the aim of entertaining me with his speaking skills.He succeeded though; I haven’t laughed this much in a while. My tummy is hurting, I can’t feel my cheeks anymore and I have no strength to sit up from my bed anymore.“You wound me, my love,” Jake laid beside me, done with his poetic escapade. Nuzzling his face on my neck, I curled like a shrimp and buried my face in his hair.How I miss this boy. &