2

I should have been walking on cloud nine. Except any happiness I felt was steeped in uncertainty and doubt knowing that Kaiden was about to embark on the next chapter of his life… without me.

It was only temporary, but I already felt the permanence in my heart. The idea of not being in Kansas with him. Going to sleep with him at night, waking up with him in the morning.

Four years.

Four years with him at Penn State, loving and living, and now it had come to an end. I was so proud of him, of the man he’d become, but I couldn’t help but mourn the loss of our college life.

College was safe. We had a routine. We had our favorite coffee shops and bars and restaurants. We had our gorgeous apartment.

Had.

The word clanged through me, realization hitting me again.

Our life at Penn State was over.

Poppy followed me inside, catching up to me and lacing her arm through mine. “I know you didn’t want a fuss, but Mom and I thought—”

“Surprise,” the word rang out in the restaurant that I now realized was empty except for a small gathering of our friends and family.

“Look at you, babe.” Peyton was first to approach me, pulling me into her arms, her big swollen stomach getting in the way.

“But how—”

She flicked her gaze to Poppy who gave a small shrug. “We thought it would be nice to get the whole gang together.”

“Get over here, Mr. Football Hotshot,” my best friend crooked her finger at Kaiden, and he strolled toward us.

“Looking good, Peyton,” he said. “How’s she doing?” His eyes dropped to her bump.

“She?”

“It’s a girl,” I said.

“I’m not so sure. I’m carrying all in the front and my skin is completely dried out. And don’t even get me started on all the cheese and salami I want to eat. All the freaking time.”

“That’s because my boy has good taste.” Xander slid his arms around her waist and dropped his chin on her shoulder. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. We didn’t expect to see you here,” I said.

“Actually, I knew.”

I swung my gaze around to Kaiden and gawked at him. “But you said you didn’t just now.”

“They wanted it to be a surprise.” He shrugged.

It shouldn’t have mattered. It was a sweet thing to do. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Kaiden had broken one of our cardinal rules by keeping it from me.

You’re just feeling extra sensitive, Lily. Snap out of it.

“Thatcher, get the fuck over here,” Bryan and Gav lifted their beers as they stood back, letting my family steal our attention first.

Everyone was here. Peyton and Xander. Ashleigh and Ezra. Aaron and Poppy. Sofia and Cole. Bryan, Gav and their girlfriends, Carrie-Anne and Penelope.

My best friends. The people I loved most in the entire world, all here to celebrate with us.

With me.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” Mom managed to wiggle in between me and Poppy, wrapping her slender arms around me. “We are so proud of you, Lil.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

She leaned in and brushed the flyaway hairs from my face, whispering, “This is the first day of the rest of your life, baby. And I can’t wait to watch you shine.”

Emotion caught in my throat, and I swallowed, trying to give myself a minute as she went off to find Dad. But then someone was pressing a champagne flute into my hand and Dad was clinking his glass, ready to make a speech.

Kaiden slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. I peeked up at him and he smiled. “I love you, Lily Ford.”

“I love you too.”

I did, with all my heart.

But the next few weeks were going to be impossibly hard, I already felt the claws of anxiety tightening around my chest.

“Lily, I—”

Laughter filled the air as my father no doubt said something witty. I couldn’t hear his words over the blood roaring between my ears though.

I was freaking out.

This was it. The start of the rest of our lives. And I’d never been more terrified.

Kaiden was drafted to the Kansas Wild. He’d done it—his dreams had come true. Come the fall, millions of Americans would watch him all over the country on game day.

I’d always known he was special. That his skill and determination would see him go all the way. He was ready.

But was I?

Being the girlfriend of an NFL star was… Well, it was impossible to imagine. I’d worked on myself a lot during college. Therapy, pushing my boundaries, stepping out of my comfort zone. But I was still the same girl I’d always been. Shy and deeply uncomfortable in the spotlight.

I wasn’t ready.

I’d known it the day of the draft, when I’d watched Kaiden announced as a first-round pick for the Kansas Wild. And I knew it now.

We spent so much time focusing on the future yet, now it was here, and all I could think was I hadn’t had enough time. With Kaiden. At college. Finding myself. Learning how to be independent.

“And to Kaiden.” Dad’s voice grounded me. “You did it, son. You made your dreams come true. Now go out there and show the Wild that you’ve got what it takes to wear their jersey proudly. We’re all rooting for you, son. And I know that you’re going to do great things up in Kansas.”

“Thanks, Jase.” Kaiden lifted his drink in the air, the two most important men in my life sharing a moment.

I waited for my father to add something about us, about our relationship, but the words never came. Because Kaiden was on the cusp of being a star.