Samuel
"Denial is normal. Having no clue what to do is normal. You don't understand why you're doing a certain thing. It's fine. Everything makes sense as long as you accept yourself, your emotions, and your decisions. Acceptance is the key. God accepts you, understands your dilemma and you also SHOULD"I lock my phone and take my AirPods out after turning the podcast off. Summer has finally arrived and I didn't realise that until I landed in Texas. It's still colder in Melbourne. It's always cold over there, at least to me. The warmth is missing which I always feel in Texas. For eight years, I was away from this warmth. I am scared of it, even though I like it. I'm scared of light, sunshine and zeal. Over the years, it only got worse. I look at my phone. It's already eight. Sitting on the wooden bench, I watch the unknown faces cheerfully jog around to start a better day. And I'm here to start a day without the expectation of any change. I get onto my feet and put on the hood of my hoodie so that when I get into the crowd no eyes can locate me being myself. I hate talking to people and being the centre of attention. I hate anyone looking at me when I pass by. It's only the moment when I don't keep my true self inside. I jog back slowly towards the direction of mom's place, which I can't obviously call mine.* As I walk into the manor, my eyes straight land on Chrisanna walking down the stairs. She obviously doesn't notice me as she's focused on her phone. I don't bother looking away since she's looking incredibly beautiful in the random denim jeans and a black sweatshirt. The messy strands of her hair are loosely scattered around her face from her half-bun. "Chrisanna, going somewhere?"I realise I was staring at her the whole time when mom's voice came. I'm still near the front door when Chrisanna comes downstairs with a heavy bag slinging on her shoulder. "Yeah. Have a clear shoot today before I leave for the office", she says. I shrug and surge inside. Meanwhile, her eyes drift to me and her smile vanishes. I don't halt anywhere and walk straight closer to her. Her eyes shake slightly as I wrap my right arm around her waist without any warning and lean closer to her ear. Her body is completely stiff and tense now which I can feel just by being so close to her. "Remember we have to act like a happily wed couple", I whisper in her ear, only to get myself into trouble by inhaling the scent coming from her body. I look at her tightened face and place a peck on her lips. She wasn't even prepared for it as her body stiffens more than before. Poor girl! "Good morning. Slept well?" I ask in an overly loving tone."Hmm", she forces a smile.I can't help smiling at her confused and apprehensive look. She hasn't changed a bit in years. This is the first time I'm watching her from this close because the wedding moment doesn't count. Her upturned eyes still look magnificent and I haven't forgotten the rare colour of her eyes. Auburn. I'm sure her middle is inspired by her eye colour which I hardly noticed in anyone. Her cheeks are still chubby as they were when we were seventeen, the last time I had ever seen her. I'm glad she didn't turn herself into a skeleton like most people do after passing their teenage years. "Okay, I'm glad you guys could break the communication barrier this fast", mom says, smiling at both of us as Chrisanna looks away. I keep holding her and pressing her against my torso. "That wasn't hard. We already know each other. Right?" I stare down at her with a smirk.She gazes straight into my eyes as if she wants to fire back at me. "Right""Great!" mom says. "Anyway, Chrisanna, what will you have for breakfast? I can ask Evelyn to prepare it for you""No", Chrisanna says hurrying. "I'll eat over there. Now, I have to rush""Okay. But eat well, huh?" Mom says."Yeah. And I was thinking—" Chrisanna turns her eyes at me in a playful way, an evil smile lingering on her face. "If you could drop me at my shoot spot. Mama hasn't sent my car yet and I'll be late if I take a bus"Smart move!I shake my head, sharply eyeing her. Over the years, she hasn't changed much but she has really grown up more confident and clever. Where am I trapped?"Yeah, is that something to say? I was going to ask that", I fake a smile, almost mocking as she throws me the same one. "Thank you", she tilts her head a bit upwards and kisses my cheek, abruptly icing me for a whole second. I could feel the softness of her plump lips much better than the pecks on lips we shared twice. I clear my throat, trying to look unaffected. "Okay, then, I need to change""Yeah. Do it fast. Chrisanna is getting late", mom says. Chrisanna again kisses my cheek abruptly as I flinch, gawking down at her. Is she challenging me or what?I shrug again and turn back, striding towards my room when I hear mom saying, "Christian was right. You guys are truly made for each other"* Changing into my usual black leather jacket, I come out of the room and surge towards the stairs. I almost trip over when Kylee blocks my way abruptly."What the—" I snarl and look at her only to find her giving me death stares. "What happened?"She crosses her arms and stares at me as if she has a long list of complaints."Okay", I roll my eyes. "I can figure out you are angry about something but we can't talk now"I try to move past her but she comes on my way again. "Really, Samuel?" she seethes. "I didn't expect it from you. You know what you have done?""No"She hits her forehead. "Chrisanna hasn't talked to me since last night. And it's because of you. She is so mad at me"I don't reply and silently watch her raging eyes bouncing at me. "I didn't know it was going to be so complicated. Why did you have to do that? You asked me to tell her I sent her that message. Now, I'm getting blamed for being an annoying and immature sister. But it was you. It was you who sent her that message"Samuel Kylee is glaring at me in the hope of hearing an explanation—an explanation that likewise confuses me. Indeed, I had no desire to marry Chrisanna. It was a guilty pleasure that I was running from. Yet, I recall the absurd dilemma I was in yesterday when I received her message. My stomach dropped and I typed that message out of nowhere. I still don't know why I did that and I don't want her to ever find that out."Samuel, I'm talking to you", Kylee screeches, dragging me back to my senses.A sigh of distress escapes me as I look at her. "Listen, little bug", I touch her cheek. "I'm really sorry you had to take this blame for me. But this is the first time I have asked for something. From you"Her raging eyes gradually cool down as she blinks at me, nodding."You can at least do that for me""I can", she looks at me with her confusion-filled eyes. "But I can't understand why you did it. If you truly wanted to marry her then—""No", I snap, stuttering the next moment. "I never
Chrisanna "Ms Corinna wants a beach-themed shoot. She emailed me last night", Phoebe tells me as I scatter all the pictures of some locations from different angles. "Great! She has a shoot scheduled for tomorrow. How are we going to get the location ready in less than 24 hours?" shrugging, I toss the notepad at Derek's face. Accidentally. "Sorry, Derek!" I scoff. "Go and pick up the goods soon as possible. I'll have to shut down before the afternoon"Derek fixes his hair which was definitely not that affected by his face getting slammed."Miss C, are you okay?" he groans."Derek, it'll be better if you pay attention to your internship rather than my mood!" I snarl at the nineteen-year-old boy as he nods and walks straight out of the room. Paxton and Mayla scramble to return to their work as my gaze falls on them.When I'm working, I'm never in a bad mood. I enjoy working and am not rude to my coworkers. However, I have been unable to maintain a positive attitude since my marriage.
Chrisanna Samuel's eyes fix on me without any movement as I make the pillow bridge again. He rolls his eyes and looks away as if he's done with me. I'm so tired of this attitude when he acts like I'm getting on his nerves. I set a pillow against the headboard and lean against it, holding my tablet as I focus on making a theme board for my next shoot. I hear him opening the closet but don't give much attention to it, instead, I hold my focus on the tablet. It takes me a while to balance all the colour palettes with the dress code. I finished a lot of stuff in one sitting and finally exhale a sigh of relief, closing the tablet.Surprised, I find Samuel still digging inside the closet. He throws his clothes on the bed and again folds them. I realise he didn't come to bed and he had been near the closet for forty minutes straight.Don't talk to him.Don't call him.I shouldn't care. I keep ranting this to myself. However, I can't ignore the anxious look on his face."Samuel!" I call h
Chrisanna "Sorry?" I shake my head, wondering if I have misheard her."You'll be reporting Mr Samuel Vance, Chrisanna", Nicole repeats with a teasing smile lingering on her face. Of course, she's the only one from this office who attended the wedding and knows about it. "Wow!" Nancy exclaims and I pinch her under the desk to keep her mouth shut.I'm freaking out over here. "Nicole, me? I'm just halfway through my internship. I'm not even ready yet""You are, Chrisanna. You're much better than you think you are. Trust me", she says and looks at her wristwatch. "I'll come to escort you to B corp in an hour. All the best"Nicole surges away after giving me a mini panic attack. "Damn, you're lucky!" Kizzy scoffs. "But what will you do with this luck? You have a fiance""And you are too boring to play around", Nancy groans."Shut up, you two", snarling, I come out of my desk and walk faster towards paa's cabin.* "Come in"I come inside with my heart still pounding against my chest."G
Chrisanna I knock at the door, preparing myself for all the cold gestures I might be getting. "Come in!" his hoarse voice literally gives me chills all the damn time. I push the door and come inside, discovering him in a huge stack of files. His eyebrows are drawn together."So, what do you want me to address you?" he asks. "Ms Scott or Mrs—?" he doesn't complete.That was a strange question."I would prefer my first name instead. Chrisanna is fine. Because I'm definitely not a Ms I don't want anyone to know I'm married and even if I do, I won't probably change my surname ever"I had this always in my mind. There's no way I'm changing my surname. I made my identity with this name and it'll always be the same."Fair enough", Samuel says, finally lifting his eyes at me. "Sit down"I pull the chair and sit in front of him."Okay, I still to understand the ongoing projects", he says, quite normally. "So, I want you to fix my appointment with all the clients we're dealing with right now,
Samuel I peek into Kylee's room. Seems like she's sleeping. I tried to call Chrisanna but she blabbered something and cut the call. She's already wasted and I don't think I'll be able to hold myself anymore. I need to know where she is."She's in the opera club", Kylee's head pops out from the door, startling me and she closes the door in my face without hearing me out. Without delay, I rush out of the manor and keep calling her. This woman is impossible. The other day she was asserting her so-called rights and today, she didn't even bother to inform me that she would be going to a club as if she has all the damn rights and I don't have any. Driving at full speed, I reach the opera club which isn't far from the manor. It's a small space with a hundred people stuffed inside a shack. I keep my face mask and hat on while looking for her in the mild disco lights. Thankfully, the music isn't as loud as the bars.I look at each of the faces while crossing the crowd until I hear a chirpin
Chrisanna I wake up with the alarm clock going off, only to feel my head terribly aching and find it hard to push my eyelids up. I groan, rolling onto my stomach as I recollect some blurry visuals. Whenever I'm drunk, I can hardly sleep. Most of the time, I wake up for nanoseconds and doze off again. I remember each time I opened my eyes in the middle of the night, I saw Samuel sleeping underneath me. It might be a hallucination. My eyes flare up as soon as my head is filled with all the broken memories from last night and I jump off the bed, horrified."Shit! I'm screwed!" I groan. I don't know how much I blabbered last night. And I never wanted to be emotional in front of him, I never wanted him to know that his behaviour affects me. But I clearly remember what I had done. I told him that I missed him, his words hurt me, and not the least, I was acting like a totally whipped woman.The most embarrassing part was when I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, feeling terribly
Chrisanna "Look at you two", Emmy chirps while setting the cushions on the couch as I come downstairs, following Samuel. "I'm glad we can finally have breakfast together; especially both of you. You guys didn't have a single meal together if I don't count the dinner night at Christian's"Samuel lets out a sigh. "That's not a big deal, mom. Anyway, good morning""Good morning. I heard you guys had a great evening yesterday", Emmy says. Samuel frowns and his eyes straight lands on Kylee at the dining table. She's giggling at us. "Yeah, it was great!" I try to go along with it."We enjoyed— a lot", Samuel plays along, pulling me closer to him. My eyes drift upwards at him smiling at Emmy."Great. And it'll be great again if you join us for breakfast today, Samuel. You hardly had your meals with us ever since you came back", she crosses her arms at us.Samuel halts for a second, pursing his lips before nodding. "My sweet boy", Emmy pulls his cheek, and before she could pull his head