Chapter 105 : Month—Five

Chrisanna

Stage III.

As hard as it is to accept, this is the reality. It's been weeks since I've been back to the hospital.

Again.

And it sucks.

I'm going through radiation therapy now. Even though my breasts were removed, cancer spread beyond that area to nearby lymph nodes surrounding tissues, chest walls, and skin.

My skin burns, itches, and aches most of the time. I feel tired even pushing my eyelids and sometimes it's even harder to breathe. Although my stitches are gone, leaving those lifelong scars, the soreness and fatigue still wake me up every night. But now I have learned not to cry out. I have learned how to live with this discomfort and pain.

Among everything, my life is just standing still. It seems like I'm stuck in a loophole where the world is running at a fast pace and I'm just standing there.

I don't feel the same anymore. I'm not the same.

The changes haunt me. I find it hard to accept myself. And every time I try to speak my heart out, I can't.

They don't