CHAPTER 5—CANVAS

Travis woke up in their bed but he doesn’t have any idea on how he got there. Giovanni left him in sofa as he himself couldn’t get any farther—he is also tired, a bit dizzy and drunk. He and Giovanni went to another bar to avoid Stefan as Travis felt ashamed on what his friend said and did. 

Travis is still thinking on how he got on bed as he can still feel the pain alcoholic drinks gave him. He then suddenly heard a huge bang coming from another room. He quickly got up as he thought it might be his wife Stefan who caused the loud noise. He ran as fast as he can until he reached Stefan`s place. He saw the unconscious, weakly lying on the floor Stefan covered with paints. 

Travis took care of Stefan even his head still hurts. He has to give back what Stefan did for him last night—taking care of him. He lifted Stefan and brought him into their room. Travis wanted to clean Stefan and change its shirt because of the paints but something inside Travis telling him not to. He then cleaned Stefan`s place; brushed the thickened paints, sweeps the wood from paintbrushes, and basically cleaned the entire room. 

While cleaning, he saw a broken canvass lying on a corner. As he lifts the said piece, he turned his gaze to his sleeping wife. He can`t help himself not to be intrigued on what Stefan possibly painted. He can`t see the whole art because of the dark paint covering it but it`s surely an obra maestra. As he stares at the painting, he can`t explain why he suddenly felt sorry for the broken canvass and decided to fix and kept it. 

As Travis is still cleaning the room, he noticed his wife Stefan standing in the kitchen; doing some chores and preparing some food to eat just like what most wives do. Travis went close to Stefan and hugged his wife. Knowing Travis, he hates doing chores especially doing kitchen`s but he didn`t hesitate to grab the ladle and told Stefan to take a rest. 

“Darling, let me take care of this, magpahinga ka na muna” he said with his soft voice that made Stefan freeze. 

“S-Sigurado ka? Hindi ka sanay sa gawaing-bahay” Stefan hesitatingly replied. 

“Yes, just sit there and watch your husband slay these eggs!” he said while smashing the egg shells. Stefan laughed on what Travis did and took his seat. 

Obviously, Travis don’t know how to cook which made Stefan laugh even more. Travis seems to be unfamiliar on condiments—to his whole kitchen actually. He doesn`t know what kind of egg dish he`s up to, he only knew how to eat though. He panicked when the egg couldn`t flip so he ended mixing it up resulting it to become an omelet. 

While Travis is having trouble with his egg dish, Stefan is happily staring at the man in front of him. He then went close to Travis and offered to guide him. Travis tried to refuse but Stefan insisted by holding Travis` hand. Travis let Stefan to guide his hand and while Stefan is doing this, Travis can`t help himself not to stare at his wife. Until Stefan said that the dish is ready which made Travis to pull himself all together. 

“How is it?” tanong ni Travis sa asawang kasalukuyang naghahanda. 

“Hindi pa nga ako nakauupo, tinatanong mo na!” saad nito habang kumukuha ng mga kagamitan pangmesa. 

“Aba! Dapat lang kasi sa amoy pa lang, masasabi mo na kung masarap o hindi!” pagmamatuwid nitong saad sa asawa. 

“Hindi ako nagtitiwala sa amoy ng pagkain kaya hindi ko pa masasabi” sagot nito at tuluyan nang umupo sa silya. 

The couple had a great meal and it can be seen that Stefan enjoyed the dish of his husband. 

“Ngiting-ngiti ka d`yan ah, masarap ba, misis ko?” pabirong tanong ni Travis sa asawang ngayon ay naglilinis na ng mga pinagkainan.

“Ahm, ayos na, kaunting practice pa siguro” saad nito habang nakalingon sa asawa sabay ngiti. 

“Ayos lang?! Pinaghirapan ko `yon!” pasigaw na saad nito habang nakapamewang ang mga kamay. Hindi pinansin ni Stefan ang asawa at tinapos ang mga nililinisang mga plato. Sa pagtalikod niya sa lababo, siya namang pagharap niya sa asawang hindi maipinta ang mukha. 

“Ayos lang talaga? Iyon na final say mo?” saad ni Travis. Dama sa boses nito ang hindi mawaring pag-aalala o pangongonsensiya. Tanging tango ang itinugon ni Stefan sa asawang palapit sa kan`ya.

Napaatras si Stefan nang lalong lumapit si Travis sa kan`ya. Sa bawat paghakbang ni Travis, siya namang pag-atras ni Stefan hanggang sa ma-corner ni Travis ang kabiyak. Kinakabahan man ay tinitigan ni Stefan ang asawa hanggang sa ilapit nito ang kan`yang mukha kay Stefan. Napapikit si Stefan habang iniiwas ang mukha sa ginagawa ni Travis. Ilang segundo pa ay hinawakan ni Travis ang kamay ni Stefan na lalong ikinakaba nito. Ilang segundo rin silang nanatili sa gano`ng posisyon at hindi mawari ni Stefan kung bakit ni isang galaw ay hindi niya magawa. Lalong idinikit ni Travis ang mukha kay Stefan, dahilan upang mas maramdaman nito ang init ng kan`yang hininga. Nilihis ni Travis ang mukha malapit sa tainga ni Stefan na bahagyang ikinakiliti nito. 

“Masarap sana `yon kaso pinakealaman mo” pabulong na saad ni Travis sabay halik sa pisngi ng kan`yang kabiyak bago ito tuluyang layuan. Habang naglalakad papalayo, hindi maiwasang mapangiti ni Travis sa kan`yang ginawa. Samantala, si Stefan naman ay tulala pa rin at pinipilit na ibalik ang sarili sa katinuan. 

Travis turned his gaze back to Stefan who is still standing in the same corner and seems pissed. 

“Take a bath or else, ako magpapaligo sa `yo” he said while staring at Stefan`s shirt covered with paints. Stefan realized that his shirt is covered by paints. While staring at Travis, he quickly moving his self to take a bath. 

Stefan is sitting by the window looking out at the city, wondering about his sister. He is enjoying the view of sunset and patiently waiting for the moon to shine. He took his phone and turned on some music to accompany his loneliness. As he stares at his phone, he remembered his sister`s and can`t help himself not to be guilty on what he has done. 

Eya and Stefan worked for that phone. They count every coin just to buy that product. They spent sleepless night just for Eya to have her own gadget. As he remembers what they have been through, a curve from Stefan`s lips have shown. He somehow reminisces the bond they have before Eya discovered that she has an illness. This bond somehow reduces Stefan`s guilt and managed to smile as his husband approached him. 

“Ba`t ka nakangiti sa kawalan?” Travis asked while taking his seat. 

“Wala, naalala ko lang kapatid ko” sagot nito habang nililingon ang lalaking kaharap. 

“Eya, right? Could you tell me something about her? About you two at least” saad ni Travis sa maamong boses. 

“Bigla ka atang nagkainteres sa amin, mister?” saad nito habang prenteng nakangiti kay Travis. 

“Nah, not like that. I mean, ilang linggo na rin tayong magkasama and I only know your name, age, and some stuff. All I know is you`re my wife and nothing else” saad nito habang nilalapit ang sarili kay Stefan.

“Mahabang kwento” saad ni Stefan habang inaayos ang earphones na kan`yang ginamit. 

“Then start telling your story” mabilis na tugon ni Travis.

Stefan stared at his man who can be compared to a child excited to hear a story. Stefan took a deep breath before telling his tale. 

“Si Eya ang tangi kong kapatid, magkasangga kami no`n kahit lagi kaming magkaaway. Nagkasakit siya—Ischemic Heart Disease. Basta, may komplikasyon sa puso niya at nagkukulangan ng supply ng oxygen kaya kailangang operahan. Sa awa ng Diyos, matagumpay na naisagawa ang operasyon kaya ngayon, ayos na pakiramdam niya” mahabang litanya ni Stefan habang si Travis naman ay kakikitaan ng inggit palibhasa`y unico hijo. 

“What about your parents? I want to meet them” saad ni Travis habang nakangiti sa binibining kaharap. Ngumiti si Stefan habang hinaharap ang lalaking nasa tabi. 

“Soon, makikilala mo rin sila” tipid na sagot ni Stefan habang tumatango.

After what Stefan said, their place got silenced. Stefan saw Travis who seems frustrated and approached him. 

“Uy, okay ka lang?” tanong ni Stefan sa kan`yang kabiyak. 

“Yeah, nainggit lang ako sa `yo, may kapatid ka samantalang ako, nag-iisang anak na nga, wala pang matinong relasyon sa mga magulang” sagot nito sa malungkot na boses.  

Stefan got silenced by what Travis stated. He`s about to speak again but Travis opened his mouth again and uttered words. 

“Pero ayos lang, Giovanni has always been my brother simula pagkabata” saad nito habang nakangiti. 

“Close na talaga kayo simula noon pa `no?” saad ni Stefan habang inaayos ang sarili. 

“Yeah, siya ang lagi kong maasahan when I need a helping hand. I don`t trust anyone except him” saad ni Travis habang hinahawi ang buhok. Tanging tango ang itinugon ni Stefan sa kan`yang kabiyak na ngayon ay nakasandal sa kinauupuan. 

Stefan remembered that his husband also had a big day yesterday and he asked him about this.

“Kumusta pala araw mo kahapon? Sabi mo big day, ano`ng nangyari?” saad ni Stefan habang kino-quote and mga daliri sa ere. 

“Hmm, I think the proposal went well. I don`t know their decision yet, I don`t know if they`ll consider the company to be our partners but seems yes. Maganda ang feedback nila sa company and sa presentation” pagmamalaking saad ni Travis sa asawang hindi maitanggi ang pagkamangha. 

“Businessman ka nga talaga” tanging saad ni Stefan habang niyayakap ang isang binti. 

“Bata pa lang kasi ako, dad thought how to handle one and how to be one. He is my standard and I`m always looking up to him. Kaso sa salitang ‘businessman,’ business lang ang naituro niya sa akin” saad nito na bahagyang tumawa. Sa kan`yang mga binitawang salita, ikinalito naman ito ni Stefan.

Napansin ni Travis na sa kabila ng kagalakang nararamdaman, kabaligtaran naman ang nadarama ni Stefan, dagdag pa rito ang kagulumihanang kan`yang ibinunga. Bago pa man maitanong ni Stefan ang ibig sabihin ni Travis, tinanong na siya nito dahilan upang mailihis ang usapan.  

“Hey, you okay?” paniniguradong tanong ni Travis. 

“Yeah, naalala ko lang sagutan naming magkapatid kahapon” sagot nito habang pinipunasan ang mga matang sa ilang saglit lang ay maglalabas na ng luha. 

“Is that the reason bakit namumugto mga mata mo kanina?” pag-uusisa ni Travis. Sa matalas na paningin ni Travis, maging ang mamula-mulang mga mata ni Stefan ay kan`yang napansin. Tanging tango ang itinugon ni Stefan sa asawa. 

“Come on, tell me. What happened yesterday?” saad ni Travis at lalong inilapit ang sarili sa kinaroroonan ni Stefan.

“Maliit na asaran na nauwi sa pisikalan pero don`t worry, magkakaayos din kami ng babaeng `yon” saad ni Stefan sabay ngiti sa asawa na naglalakad palayo. 

Stefan was left alone in their place as his husband went inside the condo. A few minutes later, Travis went back to Stefan`s side while holding a broken canvass. 

“Eh bakit nasira `to?” saad ni Travis na ikinagulat naman ni Stefan.

Travis placed the broken canvass in a chair who is in front of them and both of them are blankly staring at the piece. 

“Eya used to be my number one supporter. Alam niya na gusto at pangarap kong maging isang pintor” saad ni Stefan habang prenteng nakatitig sa maestrang nasa kan`yang harapan. 

“What`s that?” tanong ni Travis na ikinataka naman ni Stefan.

“Wala, just a simple, plain black painted canvass” sagot ni Stefan na ikinatawa ni Travis. 

“Alam mo, magsisinungaling ka na nga lang, `yong halata pa” saad ni Travis habang tumatawa. “I saw bright colors in your palette as I clean the room earlier, tell me, what`s in behind that black paint?” saad ni Travis habang itinuturo ang maestrang nasa harapan. Namula si Stefan sa sinabi ng kan`yang asawa kaya wala itong mapagpipilian kung hindi sabihin ang totoo. 

“Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang nasa likod ng itim na pintura, basta ang alam ko, I let my hands to move. Then I painted it black because of my anger, sa pagpipinta ko binubuhos lahat ng galit ko. Nasira `yan kasi kagagawan ko rin naman, I let my emotions ruin my art” pagpapaliwanag nito habang nakalingon sa asawa na tanging tango lang ang iginanti. 

Once again, their place was filled with silence and it`s making Stefan feel strange. He then remembered Travis` line “kaso sa salitang ‘businessman,’ business lang ang naituro niya sa akin” which made Stefan think of. 

Travis knew what`s going on in his wife`s head as this can be seen on his face; he then broke the ice once again.

“Simula pagkabata, business na ang kinakaharap ko. Dad wants me to follow his footsteps which I wanted to do. I want to be like him—successful businessman—kaya lahat ng itinuturo niya sa akin, I kept them in mind. Lahat ng achievements ko, what he thought me helped a lot. Lahat ng secret formula sa field of business, pinag-aralan ko. Lahat ng techniques, isinagawa ko. Kaya ito ako ngayon, I`m one of the most successful and famous entrepreneurs in the country” saad ni Travis na ikinangiti naman ni Stefan. Kita sa mga mata ni Stefan ang galak na nadarama para sa lalaking kaharap. Bagaman hindi gano`n kayos ang relasyon ng mag-ama, nagawa pa rin nitong makasama sa ama.

“What about you? What you wanted to be except being a painter?” tanong Travis sa asawang ngayon ay napapaisip na. 

“Bukod sa pagiging pintor, pinangarap ko ring maging isang sikat na mang-aawit. Ginusto ko ring maging isang chef at makapagpatayo ng sariling restaurant. Pero sa painting lang talaga ako nahumaling nang sobra-sobra kaso masyadong mahal ang mag-aral sa isang art school kaya ito ako, nag-iipon pa” saad ni Stefan na punong-puno ng pag-asang isang araw, makakamit din niya ang kan`yang minimithi. 

Travis saw how dedicated Stefan is; not only on his work at bar but also at life. He then realized that Stefan faced a lot of dilemmas more than what he thought and how wonderful it is to have someone like Stefan in your life. Stefan represents someone who won`t give up easily in life and just imagine the courage he has to fight and pass all these obstacles given to him. 

“Ang sabi mo, business lang ang naituro sa `yo ni Dad, w-what do you mean?” pag-uusisa ni Stefan sa kabiyak na prenteng nakatitig sa kan`ya. 

“Ah, eh, paano ko ba `to sasabihin, hindi ko alam paano” kabadong saad ni Travis sabay kamot sa ulo. 

“Sige, sabihin mo, uunawain ko” saad ni Stefan na kinakaba ni Travis.

Travis hasn`t experienced being in a hot seat for years. He doesn`t know how say what he really is in front of Stefan. Stefan is patiently waiting for his response; Travis took a deep breath before telling the truth. 

“Let`s put it this way, I-I`m the G in LGBT” saad ni Travis sabay takip sa kan`yang mukha. Ikinalito naman ni Stefan ang kan`yang binitawang mga salita. Ilang minuto pa ay natumbok din niya ang nais sabihin ng asawa. 

Travis is still hiding his face and ashamed but Stefan adored him so much that he even hugged the man as tight as he can. Travis felt Stefan`s arm covering him and he then felt happy for he knew that his wife accepts him. 

“Tanggap kita, I really do but ang tanong ko lang, kung gano`n ka nga, ba`t mo `ko pinakasalan?” takang tanong ni Stefan na agad naman tinugunan ni Travis.

“Because of the company, `yon ang gusto nina Mom at Dad kaya pinakasalan kita” walang emosyong tanong ni Travis na ikinangiti naman ni Stefan. Sa pagngiti ni Stefan, siya namang pag-alis ni Travis tangan-tangan ang kan`yang obra maestra. 

Though Stefan managed to smile in front of his husband, a thin needle strikes at his heart as he heard that Travis only married him for the company, not because of his feelings. Stefan got hurt so much as he is starting to invest his feelings for a Travis Madrigal but then, he heard the bitter truth right from Travis` lips.

Travis is still hiding his feelings for Stefan and instead of admitting that he is starting to admire him the most, he chose to keep his feelings into himself. He is thinking that if he will let Stefan knew his feelings, his wife might take distance from him. As he took his steps, he wanted to go back and hug Stefan and tell him he`d lie but no, he has no guts to do such. 

Stefan left alone and dumbfounded in their place, blankly staring at the not so dark sky. He then realized that the sky will start to cry in no time so he decided to enter the condo but instead of joining Travis for dinner, Stefan went straight to bed.