“Who are you?”
I stepped back when I saw Kieran’s eyes narrowed at me. It’s as if he’s looking at a stranger with doubts written all over his face. He looks afraid of me. And it pains my heart to see him acting like this in front of me.
I was happy enough that I was the first person he saw when he opened his eyes but how can he not feel the same?
I chuckled at him. “Hey, Kieran. Don’t act like that. I don’t like pranks now.” I told him as I tried to convince myself that he’s just playing a prank on me right now.
This is not happening.
He narrowed his eyes on me. “Who’s playing a prank on who?” He asked. “Who are you?” He asked in an irritated voice. “What are you doing here? What am I doing in here?” He asked as he looked around.
I shut my eyes and felt my heart ripping into millions of pieces. I walked to the intercom and called the nurses, informing them that Kieran has woken up. I also sent a text to his mother telling her that her son has gained consciousness.
The nurses came in with Dr. Lee and they assessed and examined Kieran. They asked him general questions which he answered in no sweat. He remembered everything. His birthday, his address, his hobby. But then…
“How old are you?” Dr. Lee asked him.
Kieran gave him a look. “Nineteen,” he spoke and Dr. Lee looked at me. He is not nineteen. He is twenty-four.
I looked at Kieran with disbelief in my eyes. Nineteen? How can he think that he’s five years younger.
“What is the date today?” Dr. Lee asked again.
Kieran blinked at him. “Eighth of January, 2010.” He replied and I shut my eyes. What is happening? It’s the Eighth of January but it’s not 2010. It’s 2015.
What in the world is happening to Kieran’s orientation?
“Mr. Wu,” Dr. Lee called him. “You are not nineteen years old. You’re twenty-four.” He told him, presenting the reality. “And it’s not 2010, it’s already 2015.” He added.
Kieran looked at him, looking so confused of what’s happening to him. “What?” He asked. “How could that happen?” I can see that he was getting a bit hysterical.
Dr. Lee sighed at him. “You weren’t able to wake up from your sleep three months ago. You have been in comatose state for three months until now.” He explained the situation.
Kieran narrowed his eyes on Dr. Lee. “How could that happen?” He asked. “Last night, I was talking to my girlfriend.” He beamed.
I narrowed my eyes in disbelief. I don’t know what to believe. Is this Kieran?
Dr. Lee pointed at me. “It was your fiancée, Mr. Wu.” He told Kieran. “Your fiancée was here last night and she stayed by your side every single day you’re hospitalized.” He added.
Kieran looked at me and chuckled. “Fiancée? Are you kidding?” He replied stifling his laugh. “And that woman?” He pointed at me like he’s thinking that he would never like someone like me. “Why would she be my fiancée when my girlfriend is a model named Bianca Lim.”
I froze in disbelief at what he spoke. It’s as if a pale of cold water has been poured on me. What girlfriend? Who’s Bianca Lim? Was it his ex-girlfriend? What’s happening?
Dr. Lee and the nurses looked at me in alarm.
Tears were starting to fall from my eyes. He just defied me in front of everyone else when I was the person who took care of him for the three months he was here. How can he not have a heart for me?
I just got dumped by my fiancée after taking care of him and praying so hard every day for three long months. What could be worse?
It’s like I’ve built a building that came crashing down at me, killing me in an instant.
Nurse Mia walked to me. “I think it’s best for you to step aside for a while, Ms. Kim.” She told me politely.
I smiled and did as I was told. Dr. Lee followed me outside. For three months, I have been friends with the nurses and the doctors of this institution. Almost all of them knew my history with Kieran. And now this happens.
How crappy can life be for me.
“I’m sure you’re not okay.” Dr. Lee told me.
I looked at him and chuckled weakly as I wiped the tears falling from my eyes. “When my boss told me life was never fair, I told him that it depends on the way you see it.” I spoke as I swallowed a big lump in my throat. “I have never ever once in my life felt that life is unfair.”
Dr. Lee looked at me and offered me his handkerchief. He didn’t say a thing but he was standing there, waiting for my next words. He wasn’t doing anything but I know that he was willing to listen. That’s what he has been doing for the past three months.
“I have always had parents who were all out in supporting me in what I want. I have a best friend I wouldn’t have a dull moment without. And I have Kieran, who loved me more than anyone else in the world.” I continued as I wiped my tears that are falling. “And now…” I sobbed as I remembered the way Kieran looked at me. It’s as if I was a stranger and I was new to his eyes.
He looked scared and confused and annoyed.
“It’s funny how one day I meant the world to him. Then the next day, he couldn’t even remember me anymore.” I spoke with all these tears falling. I must have looked ridiculous because Dr. Lee got the initiative to wipe my tears for me with the handkerchief he was offering me.
He placed his hands on top of my shoulders and made me look at him. “He would remember you.” He told me. “I promise you I will make him remember you. So stop crying, okay?” He added as he lifted my chin making me face him.
However, no matter how he assures me that Kieran will remember me, I still couldn’t help but feel sad about everything that’s happening now. My love couldn’t remember me. It’s almost as painful as having Kieran not wake up from coma.
I’ve prayed for this moment to happen. I’ve prayed night and day for him to come back to me but now that it happened, he couldn’t remember me. Was having my happy ending too much to ask?
I broke down into tears and the next thing I knew, I was wrapped in Dr. Lee’s arms. I needed a hug. I badly needed one after everything that happened.
“It’s going to be alright.” He whispered to me as he stroked my back and placed his chin on top of my head.
Right now, all I wanted to be is to have Kieran back and remember all the promises we’ve shared in the past. Was it too much to wish for that to happen?
--
Dr. Lee asked me to not go back to Kieran’s room today because it would not help for the both of us. So, I did what I was told. If it wasn’t for the better, I wouldn’t do it.
After all, all I wanted is for Kieran to remember me.
I heard the so-called Bianca Lim came today to visit Kieran as he requested it to his mother. No matter how hesitant and reluctant she is, she called Bianca for his son’s happiness.
Dr. Lee told me that Kieran is suffering from a special kind of retrograde amnesia. He couldn’t remember the things that happened before he started to fall into comatose state but he could remember remote memories – like his childhood.
He told me that this could be the reason why Kieran doesn’t remember me. I was the last person he talked to before he slept that night. I was the recent memory that he tend to forgot unconsciously. Plus, all he could remember are the things that happened to him five years ago. Dr. Lee told me that it could be a form of selective amnesia but he wasn’t really sure. He needs to run some more tests.
I shook my head as I sat on the bench and waited for the bus to arrive. For the past three months, I stopped driving my car because I could only remember Kieran sitting beside me, smiling widely. Then I would just pull over and breakdown.
I lived the hard way when he was asleep but now it gets even harder. It’s too hard to the point that I am starting to wonder what was better: having Kieran lie down unconscious or having him wake up without remembering me.
I took a deep breath and stood up as I saw the bus coming my way. People were all waiting for it and immediately went in, leaving me in a standing position.
I looked blankly at the road we were passing when my phone beeped. It was Kieran’s mom.
From: Mrs. Wu-----
I’m really sorry that you couldn’t see Kieran a while ago. I’m sorry for the way he is acting right now that he even asked me to invite his ex-girlfriend to come visit him. I tried to explain it to him but he wouldn’t budge. I’m really, really sorry, Ashin.
I sighed upon reading the text message and called on the driver to pull over. The text message even made me sadder. Knowing how Kieran’s Mom is apologetic for what her son has done makes me disheartened. It wasn’t her fault her son’s acting like that. And it’s not like it’s Kieran’s fault either.
I went down the bus and hailed a cab.
To: Gina
Where are you? Meet me at The Wonderland Bar.
I am not the type of person who would drink but just tonight. Just tonight, let me forget all the heartaches that slowly killed me for the past three months.
Three months that I have poured my heart and soul praying for him to come back to me. And now that he’s back, he’s awake, he couldn’t forget me.
What kind of shit is this?
How could someone be benefiting from all the efforts I have put through? This is insane and I can’t accept anything.
I shut my eyes at the backseat. I should stop crying and do my best to stop all these heartaches. Kieran would remember me. I just have to believe and trust him on this.
He will remember me.
“Stop now, Ashin. You’ve had enough.”Gina and Joshua are trying to stop me from getting more tequila. But I want more. I want more and more and more and more. If this could at least make me forget about all these things I am holding in right now, I’d like to drown myself with alcohol.I yanked Gina’s hand away and grabbed another glass. I’m guessing, even the bartender is hesitating to give me one now. But I glared at him, so he finally gave me one.“Ashin Kim! Stop drinking!” Gina hollered but I ignored her. To be honest, I don’t even know why I called her to meet me here. If she’s just going to bother me like this, then maybe she and her boyfriend could just go home and leave me alone.Now I get the feeling of those people drinking to forget all the hurt they feel inside. Now I get why no matter how their friends tell them to stop, they couldn’t.I wished everyone would understand
Kieran’s POVI was laughing with Bianca about how she blew her nose during our childhood days. I’ve known her my whole life and I have loved her for my whole lifetime. I’ve always thought that having her around would make my life complete.But now that I have her beside me, laughing with me, why do I feel emptiness in my heart? Why do I feel like something is missing?Then, suddenly, the door opened, revealing my doctor and a woman. I shook my thoughts away.Bianca and I nodded at Dr. Lee in acknowledgement. Then I looked at the woman beside him who’s looking down. If I remember it right, when I woke up yesterday, she was the person beside me. Everyone said that she’s my fiancée but if she really is, why can’t I remember her?I watched her as Dr. Lee whispered something to her making her look at him in shock. For once, I have seen her whole face and she doesn’t look so bad.I
Kieran’s POV“Kieran Wu!” I stopped when I was about to hop inside my car. Mom followed me and she was worried sick. “Son, you’ve just got discharged from the hospital. Where do you think are you going?” Her voice was so soft and caring but it screamed anxiety.I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t really know where I am going. Hell, I just got out of the hospital after three months and now I’m going to drive my car to look for someone I can’t even remember. But why the fuck does this feel right? Why do I feel like I am doing the right thing?I don’t even understand any of this.“Calm down, Kieran.” Mom held my arm and closed the door of my car. “You rest for tonight, okay? Just get a breather.” She told me carefully and softly.“But…” I hesitated to say the next words. I don’t know if I should tell her. Fucking shit I d
Five weeks later…“Ashin!”I looked at the direction where the voice came from. I am on my way to the entrance of the office when someone called me.I smiled at Harold Lee who was waving enthusiastically at me. I walked to him and greeted him. “Hey! What are you doing here?” I asked him.He shrugged. “Kieran is going for a job interview here.” He told me.I raised my brow. “Here?” I asked in disbelief.He nodded. “Yes.” He removed his sunglasses. “His mother asked me to come and check up on him.” He replied making me chuckle. Check up on him? What does his mother think Kieran is? A kindergarten?Harold narrowed his eyes on me. “Don’t laugh. He’s still under my therapy so I still need to check up on him from time to time.” He explained and I raised my both hands in surrender.“Fine! Fine. You win, Dr. Lee.”
“Here’s the manuscript, Mr. Kim.” I told my boss as I placed the newly pressed manuscript on the table. It was the manuscript of my upcoming book.Mr. Kim looked at me and smiled brightly. “It’s nice to see you doing well, Ashin.” He told me.I smiled back and nodded. Mr. Kim isn’t the kind of boss that’s terror and bossy. He blends in with the employees. When I was on the stage of giving up, he was blessing me with those friendly advices. He’s a good man. I’m even a godmother of one of his kids.“You look so good today, as well, Mr. Kim.” I beamed.He chuckled. “I just interviewed an intelligent cartoonist.” He replied. “I’m really impressed.” He’s nodding.I gulped and figured out that he was talking about Kieran. Of course Kieran is a good cartoonist. He was one of the heads of their department before his incident. He has the experience an
From: Kieran WuI don’t see you in the office. Is this your day off?I don’t know what to really feel when I read the text message. Kieran is looking for me in the office. Oh yeah. I forgot that it’s his first day at work.To: Kieran WuI don’t go to the office every day. I got up from bed and took a bath. Today is going to be a long day. I’m going to shop for Gina’s birthday gift. She’s celebrating it tonight at a bar. I bet she rented the whole VIP room for this.“Okay, Ashin Kim. Try to not think about him today.” I muttered to myself repeatedly as I walked out of the bathroom and changed.I saw my phone on the bedside table and sighed. I guess I needed to change digits. I should’ve done it a long time ago, anyway.From: Kieran WuThat’s sad. I thought I’
Harold Lee looked at Kieran after uttering those words. "Hi, Kieran! I didn't know you were here, too." He beamed with a smile.My back's turned at Kieran so I couldn't see what his reaction was. I didn't want to know, though. Anyways, I know that she's holding onto Bianca's waist, pulling her close to him.Damn."Joshua invited me." Kieran replied curtly. I can hear frustration in his voice. What could be frustrating him? I don't know. Is it because I didn't text him back?What did he even text me anyway?Gina looked at me with narrowed and questioning eyes. I shook my head and she smiled at Kieran, fake in nature, of course. "Nice to meet you and your Bianca, Kieran." I know that sarcastic tone.I heard Bianca enthusiastically greet her happy birthday and hug her. I can only imagine Gina's explosion inside. She must be dying to pull each of her hair out.Bianca looked at me and smiled. "You're Ashin, right?" She asked and I nodded.
Friends.I have always wanted to have a lot of friends. I have never been hurt gaining friends in my life. I have never been this bitter over a friend before. I used to be so happy to have many friends and I am even happier to gain more.But hell, I hated how he easily asked me to become his friend as if it was the most normal thing to happen when he knew the truth about us. We were once lovers. We didn't have the closure we needed for us to end our relationship properly.Or maybe, perhaps, he did have the closure. I didn't.Perhaps, I am a fool for still wishing for him to remember me even though everything is telling that he is not going to. Not in a million years. Not when he’s always with his girlfriend. How can I even expect him to think of him when his hot model girlfriend is right in front of his eyes?I must be crazy!It’s been a week since I last spoke with Kieran and now, I’m going to the office. I didn’t wa