I don't like her.
And there is no need for me to pretend, not that I even wanted to, even though I promised Caramel that I would try to be nice to her.
Because it won't work.
It just can't.
We are all seated in the living room, me unfortunately on the seat next to her with me still holding unto the leash of the twins, mostly because the thought that they might actually go to her makes my stomach turn and because one of them is an environmental hazard, and Cream is about a whole seat away from me.
Usually, he always sat where she was, to be next to me while I read, but she's been here for only two hours and I'm beginning to feel like breaking something because she's already messing everything up for me.
However, I'm controlling myself, and reading my book, not that I can even focus when I can hear how she's tapping her foot on the tiles, eyes fleeting around the house.
Is this the first time she's seeing a chandelier?
The whole thought of it makes me want to scoff, scowl and somehow look at her.
She makes me feel too many things at once.
I don't like her.
"So...."
Her voice reminds me of the stupid way she had waved at us earlier, like we're friends, like we've met before and it makes me let out a small growl but I doubt she hears it because I hear her say "Why did she call me Vanilla?"
At first, we had all been quiet, and I guess they were doing it for my sake because they knew that I didn't like her, not that I ever even liked anyone, but that question had one of them (now that I think about it, I'm surprised at how he had even be quiet that long) talk.
"Oh!" Chocolate perks, I don't even have to look at him to know that he's brightening up like a bulb "New name, new identity!" Then he giggles "That sort of thing"
She gives a sort of chuckle to those words "New identity? What are we? Some undercover agents?"
Why does she keep saying horrible jokes?
"N-No" I hear the stutter and still, I don't look up from my book even though I'm barely focusing now as I hear Caramel say "W-We all have d-different names based on f-flavours when we come here"
"Oh" She drawls it and I can tell that she barely understands what that means but is probably glad that they are talking to her as she says "So what's your name?"
"Chocolate!" Chocolate replies then I hear the sass in his voice "You know, cause I'm sickeningly sweet but in the totally good way!"
I scoff there but he keeps talking "Or you can just call me Coco, and this— Is my twin, Caramel. I know we look totally alike but we really aren't. He's like totally mushy and soft. See?"
I look this time, noticing how Chocolate licks Mel's cheeks as the timid boy's eyes widens and his cheeks reddens immediately, looking away.
And then the bitch laughs.
Like that's funny.
"You boys are cute" She says, the laugh still on her face.
Chocolate has a glimmer in his eyes that made me panic "There are other things I can show you that you'd call cute—"
I tug on his leash now, making him fall back to my feet as he turns to me, a small snarl leaving his lips while I glare at him.
It only lasts for a second before he begins to laugh, looking away from me to her "Forgive me. Ber sometimes cannot fight his animalistic instincts"
Okay, that's enough of it!
I pull him by his leash again, a louder growl leaving my lips as I say "You mind saying that to my face fucker?"
"What are you—"
"Stay out of this bitch!" I yell at the blonde, turning my attention to the grinning bastard whose face is now very close to mine "Say that one more time"
There is a reason why I always try to avoid Coco when I'm pissed as hell.
He. Always. Fucking. Thinks. Pissed. Me. Is. Amusing.
The brunette haired male giggles, a soft one that could sound cute to anyone on the outside except I know Coco.
He's just a sick son of a bitch.
"You're a fucking savage baby" He drawls, licking his lower lip.
Shit.
Why do I want to kiss and punch him at the same time?
I feel a softer hand rest on my thigh, Mel giving me a slow shake of his head with his ever gentle expression making my rage settle suddenly before I'm shoving Chocolate away and standing, the asshole making a sound of complaint with the girl rushing to him "Are you alright?"
I want to kick her for touching him. Chocolate's MINE, she shouldn't be here acting all happy and shit about it.
But I fight the urge because Cream is giving me a look.
The look of 'Just walk away'
And so I do.
Except my walk turns to me stomping away, making a turn to the kitchen as I find Doc, her hair still in place with some loose strands dangling over her face, her eyes going over every detail of each food in the kitchen.
Her face looks stoic, concentrated, because that's how she is, always fretting over the littlest things, making sure everything is okay.
She likes it when everything's okay.
I like it when she likes anything.
"Berry?" She calls out, as if she knows I've been standing there all this time even though I've not said a word "How are you?"
I suppose I had calmed down the second I had seen her but hearing her say those three words eventually has all my anger boiling up to the surface "I don't like her!"
"Is that so?"
"Don't go Shrink on me right now"
She turns, her expression still in a concentrated gaze. I notice there's a red apple on her hand, a part of it is already bitten off as she says, voice steady "Would you like a slice?"
"You know I'm fucking mad right now! Don't try to ignore it!"
She hums now, walking past me and to the area where knives are, the humming still going on as she picks one, letting it go through the apple swiftly.
I barely see the cuts, there are too fast for my eyes, she's always been fast in those sort of things but she stops when I notice the shiny red dot on her index finger, a small chuckle leaving her lips "Guess I'm getting a bit rusty"
Before I can stop myself, I'm picking up her bleeding finger and placing it in my mouth, sucking softly.
Her stoic gaze drops and she smiles.
It is soft, ever blinding, ever so powerful that when her hand grazes my face I pause from her finger and let out a small pleased moan, my eyes shutting for a second before I open them and meet hers as she says "You should go rest. I promise to check up on you tonight"
I want to not go, I want to stay, I want to ask what's wrong.
But I know Doc.
She would only talk to me when she's sure I'm stable enough.
So I nod, even though I know I can't possibly show her that I was mad some seconds ago anymore, leaving the kitchen and walking back to my room.
I take a shower and change into just my pyjama pants as I stay shirtless, walking around the room as my mind begins to think.
Doctor says she has to help her.
Why?
Is she someone important to her?
Who is she?
More questions come up but I can't fucking find an answer for them and that's one thing I cannot stand.
Questions that have no answers.
So I'm googling anything about her on my laptop. Trying to get a F******k or I*******m account that matches. A hospital birth record. A bloody social number.
But there's nothing on the girl.
I hear a knock on my door, though it sounds distant, like it's really not there, like it's just me being paranoid and I'm hearing fucking things again so I ignore it.
But I hear it open and a soft, meek voice is speaking through it "Um, Ber?"
Then the next thing I know, I'm standing and the chair I was sitting on is in my hand and in the air as I throw it at whoever had walked in, a shout leaving my lips "Can't you tell when someone doesn't want to be fucking bothered?!"
When I calm down from the whole yelling, my eyes land on the body of the boy on the floor, sitting while he holds his leg, small tears running down his eyes.
And that's when my world begins to crack.
I rush to Caramel, my heart pounding loudly in my chest as I stare at his now swelling and bruised leg "Where does it hurt?"
Of course I know what hurts and where but he's shaking his head, the tears falling more as he tries to push my hand away "I-It doesn't h-hurt, j-just let it—"
"Just fucking show me what hurts!"
He winces, more tears running down his cheeks as he points at his calf.
I nod hurriedly, rushing to my bathroom and opening the cabinets.
I shove away everything that can't possibly fix a swollen calf, hurrying back with the whole first aid kit box as I kneel on the floor, my eyes running over his leg "Is it broken?"
He shakes his head when I look at him, sniffing a little bit as he bites his lower lip in anticipation for whatever I'm about to do.
He's so cute I could actually eat him right now, starting from his—
"Ber?" He says, soft brown eyes looking at me with concern that I would like to turn into pleasure filled ones "Are you alright?"
Ah shit, I hate how beautiful he is right now.
I turn my focus back to his leg "Don't mind me. I just gotta— Wait, what am I doing exactly?"
"You mean, you don't know what to—"
"I got the damn aid kit, still tryna figure out why in hells name it's got a syringe in it. Who the fuck administers injection with a bloody first aid box?"
He's staring at me, concern gone with another look replaced in his eyes before he chuckles.
His hand is over his mouth, trying to cover it but I don't want him to, I like how he sounds "Yes? Care explaining to me what's funny Cadet?"
He shakes his head, though there's a smile on his face now as he says "You could just clean it up and wrap it with a bandage"
I nod my head doing as he says, making sure I'm extra careful because I don't want anything happening to him more than I've already done before I wrap the bandage around it, saying "Too tight?"
He shakes his head again, a playful smile on his face "Nope"
I know it's not but I need to hear him laugh one more time, I crave it. So I tug on it one more time "What about now?"
He's laughing, and my heart soars at the sound "You can tighten it better Ber. I'm not a baby"
"Well you're my baby" I say, seeing the blush appear on his cheeks before I tighten it then knot it "How does that feel?"
"Okay"
I stare at the bandaged leg "Woulda signed Ber's baby on it but it's not a cast. What do you think about me kissing your boo boo?"
It's ridiculous, how I sound. I'd rather die than let anyone hear me say those words, but Caramel is not just anyone.
He's one of the best things that had ever happened to me.
He slowly nods, though his hands are raising his shirt over his face as he tries to cover the blush appearing before I kiss his feet, moving to the bandage and then to his thighs when I push him to floor, my body towering over his as I keep attacking him with kisses.
His giggles and protests are as always adorable but he says words that piss me off faster than I'd hoped "No! Stop! Doc says we can't do that around Vanilla"
I freeze, I'm sure a cold look entering my eyes as Mel realizes the heaviness of what he has said, fear slipping in his "B-Ber, I didn't mean—"
I stand from his body, my little boner dying as fast as the way it came, disgust filling my mouth as I try to find my shirt "It's alright"
"No, honestly I would never—"
I turn to him, his words halting in his throat as I scan his face.
His chest keeps heaving heavily, dried tears on his cheeks that I desperately want to kiss and a deer caught in the headlights look plastered over his face.
This boy will be the death of me.
I walk to him, crouching before I open my arms out for him "Come here"
He stares at my hands, then at me.
"Come on Cara"
He gives in eventually, because he knows my patience is fucking thin and I usually lose shit before I can stop myself as I pick him in my arms, taking in the scent of his caramel scented perfume as I rock him for a while before placing him on my bed.
I make sure he's staying comfortably before I lay next to him, my hands entwined with us "I love you, you know that right? And you don't have to say it back. I just need you to know"
He looks up at me there, a baby pout I'm sure he's not aware he's giving as he says "I want to say it back"
I grin at him "Is that rebelliousness I see?"
He blushes.
I take my hand to his face "Say it then"
He says it, with so much pride my heart melts "I love you"
Those three words, those ever powerful three words fill the ache in my soul and I let out a relieved breath, my eyes shutting in momentary peace before I look down at him "Why do you have to make everything you say sound so beautiful?"
There's no answer for that, but Mel gives one anyway "I don't know"
I cup his cheeks as he nestles into my hand, his eyes never leaving my face.
The truth was, I'm many things.
Destructive.
Impulsive.
Narcisstic.
But I'm not a giver.
I take. People's emotions, people's peace, people's joy, until there's nothing left.
And Mel is the exact opposite of that.
He GIVES.
No matter how I take, no matter how I hurt him.
He keeps GIVING.
Before people feared coming close to me because they barely ever left with a complete mind, soul or body. I somehow caused harm no matter what I did.
But Mel—
He didn't mind.
He trusted me, believed I had limits, believed I wouldn't hurt him, at least, more than he could handle.
And though the thought to abuse the power comes, I look at those eyes of his and it vanishes the way it came.
I pull him into my chest now, feeling him stay still for a second before he relaxes, curling into me more as I rest my chin on his head, closing my eyes so I can forget the blue eyes of the girl that torments me.
"He hates me"I give a slight chuckle, inspecting at my nails, which of course are perfect "Don't fret darling. He hates everyone""Is that supposed to make me feel better?""Less worse was the aim, love"She stays quiet again, the sound of water falling from the shower in my bathroom the only thing making a sound between us as I make mental notes.Easy to please?Check.Kind hearted?Check.Naive?Check.I hear the shower stop now, my head turning slightly to the side as I see her come out, wet hair all over her face and shoulder with my white towel over her body.I stand from my chair, the figure catching my attention as she purses her lips, blue eyes going around the room "So? What next?"I stop my momentary perverted ogling, smiling as I come closer to her then grabbing her roughly to my chest, a small protest leaving her lips before I rest my nose in the crook of her neck.Chocolate.She smells like me.I want to lick her neck. What would happen if I do it right now? Would she le
I keep running my hand through Strawberry's hair, his ginger curly hair seeming to wrap around mine as I let my fingers go through them.His body is wrapped around my waist, his grip around me tight as I smile at him.This was always my favorite side of him.When he slept.Not that I did not move every side of Ber, I did, with all of my heart. But I also was aware that he was tormented half the time he was awake, losing control and feeling guilt the next second. I knew that he barely meant half the things he did and I always felt sad when it happened.Because that's how I was.I was horribly soft and even I hated it sometimes.It was why they all treated me like a baby, making sure I never left their sight and if I did, made sure at least one of them was on me. But I could take care of myself, they just didn't know that, or rather, didn't want to acknowledge the idea.I hear the door to Ber's room burst open and Coco's voice screaming "Where are my boyfriends?!"I quickly turn to him,
I've naturally always been a mess.That was what Ma always sang when I was little, just like it was a hymn and I believed her.But I always tried my best to not be a mess.Before Aunt Penelope left, she had held my hand tight, all the veins on it showing as she said "Vanessa. I want you to understand that this place, is your only hope out of prison. I don't want— I don't want any tricks. Do you understand?"Just because I wanted to see her smile since all this seriousness was really unsettling me, I saluted "Yes ma'am!"It didn't move her "I'm serious Nessa" Then she sighed "Look. They are some rumours about this place—"I raised an eyebrow, confused "Rumours?"She doesn't complete the sentence anyway, shaking her head as she holds me tighter and says "Promise me you'd be good"Okay, scary as hell "Okay"Her eyes looked bloodshot at that moment "Vanessa"I nodded hurriedly "Okay!" Taking out the golden crucifix that I've had ever since I was born, I placed a kiss on it "I promise on m
As I say that word, everyone freezes, except Coco, the boy is giggling "Oops"My eyes move to his face "Are you guys actually—""He's joking" Cream replies, tone flat.I let out a relieved breath "Good because— Well, you know why. The law is everywhere. Kinda just escaped from one so I'd rather not put my ass out there one more time""There's actually a no cursing policy" Doctor says, her eyes going to Coco "Even though I'm sure some have broken the rules"The boy only grins at her before she turns to me and says "Not that you have to follow it—""But if you're able to not curse for a whole week, Mistress let's you choose what we get to do on Saturday night" Caramel completes, blushing as he looks away "Sorry, I-I couldn't help it"She only smiles at him "It's alright"Chocolate rolls his eyes at that "True. I mean, I know the policy is there and all, and I swear, I've tried, but Mel always wins""Oh" Not that I'm surprised "I thought it'd be Cream, since he doesn't talk much"Chocola
Vanessa, darling. Where are you? Mommy wants to play.If you tell your Father about our little game, I would cut off your tongue!Stop that blasted crying!I jerk from the bed, panting heavily as I look around the room. The lights are off but the window is open, letting the curtains that are yellow with some Winnie the Pooh characters on them as I stare at the moon.Crescent.I shiver a bit as I realize I've been sweating again but I don't want to stay in this room anymore.I had never liked the idea of staying alone.Mother Superior knew that and when she felt like beating me to pieces wasn't actually going to do much, she'd send me to the cellar, keep me there for days till she knew I was weak from screaming too loud.But of course no one knew.I couldn't dare be ungrateful.Even I, with my big mouth, knew that.I quickly take the yellow blanket on my bed and wrap it around my body then begin to walk outside the room.The whole house is eerily dark and quiet but I don't want to stop
After what had happened last night, all I really wanted was to sleep and not be disturbed.At least, for one more hour.But there's this puppy that keeps drooling on my face and breathing loudly on my ear, doing some licks here and there on mu cheeks no matter how many times I turn and try to push it away.I finally let out a loud groan, taking a pillow and pressing it over my head as I grumble "Who sends a puppy to wake someone up?""Ouuu. Is that my nickname?"I let out a scream as I roll off my bed and land on my butt, my eyes landing on the person that's sitting on my bed with a smile on his face "Good morning!""Chocolate?" I ask, because with that excited look in his eyes, it can't be anyone else "Were you— Were you the one licking me?"He nods and let's out an 'arf'I let out a louder groan "Why is everyone so weird?"Chocolate suddenly falls on the bed, looking at me with his head upside down as he says in a tiny voice "Would you come rub my tummy?"I make a face "Ewww! No!" T
Yesterday, Doc takes me to get some clothes (I had to wear her sweater and sweatpants out but I honestly doubt I'd ever return it) and my uniform.Not that I ever saw it after she bought it.When we returned, she asked what else I'd like to have in my room, as something personal for me since she had been the one who actually made the room and would like it if I left my own signature piece.Chocolate has his personal changing room.Caramel has a mini library.Cream has a water dispenser (turns out he's a fish. Are you surprised? I'm not)And Strawberry has a punching bag in his own room. Obviously, it's a sign of him needing help but I'm not saying a word about it.I, on the other hand, get five teddy bears.Why am I being the creepy teddy girl?Well, I'm glad you asked.Asides from the obvious fact that I'm absolutely terrified of sleeping alone because of the dreams I have, I also wanted to make sure Chocolate never has space to stay on my bed again so I can just sleep in peace.But
"Oh come on, it'd be fun!" "Well, dear Chocolate. Anyone who knows you and I can boldly state that I do because you've been on me like a leech for three days now, would know that your example of fun always has pain involved!" "But think about the sports bike! Who wouldn't like to be on a sports bike? Especially a bike that I'm riding in?" "I don't care!" There had a car they drove to school. An Audi Q5 anyway, but it was Strawberry who drove and it was also painfully clear that if I crossed my limits and entered the car as well, he'd happily run the car off the bridge and kill everyone just so I'd die too. So Coco, kindly, said he'd drive me to school. I mean, at first I was terrified out of my wits. Who in the lord's name would give Coco a car to drive? Did they not even worry about the pedestrians on the street? But no. It had to be a sports bike. Which is clearly worse. "Don't be like this, Kitten" Chocolate says, resting on the bike "We're going to be late. Not that I h