I've naturally always been a mess.
That was what Ma always sang when I was little, just like it was a hymn and I believed her.
But I always tried my best to not be a mess.
Before Aunt Penelope left, she had held my hand tight, all the veins on it showing as she said "Vanessa. I want you to understand that this place, is your only hope out of prison. I don't want— I don't want any tricks. Do you understand?"
Just because I wanted to see her smile since all this seriousness was really unsettling me, I saluted "Yes ma'am!"
It didn't move her "I'm serious Nessa" Then she sighed "Look. They are some rumours about this place—"
I raised an eyebrow, confused "Rumours?"
She doesn't complete the sentence anyway, shaking her head as she holds me tighter and says "Promise me you'd be good"
Okay, scary as hell "Okay"
Her eyes looked bloodshot at that moment "Vanessa"
I nodded hurriedly "Okay!" Taking out the golden crucifix that I've had ever since I was born, I placed a kiss on it "I promise on my soul. Can I go now?"
I suppose that the whole eagerness I felt at wanting to just leave her, an aunt I never knew I had, to complete strangers who she heard rumours about was weird but she nodded anyway, kissing me on my forehead before she left me with them.
I say them because I don't expect what happens.
After Doctor Sweet left me with them, I experienced the silent treatment, then when one person spoke, it got one acting like Shrek because Donkey wouldn't stop singing and then stormed away, Pumpkin following him, which left me with Pale boy and Creepy guy.
I know, I know, I'd find better nicknames later.
However, I note one thing.
They. Are. All. Nuts.
It's them that remind me why I'm here in the first place.
To be cured.
Kinda makes me wonder what brought them there, even though I can make speculations but who am I to judge?
Just another sick person that is currently here for help.
But hey!
At least one of them is relatively normal.
When we reach the dining room, Mel is still holding my hand, eyes looking everywhere but me. Chocolate is talking to Pale boy, his eyes only blinking once and twice to show he's actually a real person before he looks at me.
His silver eyes remind me of clouds as he stares, and he doesn't need to say it, doesn't need to show it, but I can read it.
He's saying 'I see you'
"Vanilla!"
I manage to tear my eyes away from Cream, letting out a small breath as I wave at Chocolate with my free hand "Hello"
He smiles, now looking away from Cream as he faces me, chin on his hands "I see Mel's stuck to you, and yes, my clothes, no matter what you wear, looks divine on you"
Caramel leaves my hand at that instant, now pulling a chair that's next to the head of the table and sitting, not looking at me and I do the same to the one next to him before I hear Coco giggle "No darling. That's Ber's seat"
Oh.
I put it back, looking around for the next empty seat before my eyes spot the one at the other end of the table then I walk over to it and sit, noticing that Cream and Chocolate's eyes are following me as I do so.
When I do that, I start drumming my fingers on the table, trying not to look at them before I hear a voice say "Please accept my apologies for being late"
Her voice seems to release every tension I'm feeling as I look at her face, noticing that her hair is still in the bun, but her face looks spotless, like she's just cleaned it but she's still on her shirt and pants, a smile on her face.
Coco finally looks away from me "No one minds Miss D"
She turns to him, passing him a smile that for some reason wants her to smile that way to me as she says "Thank you"
Doctor Sweet pulls away the chair at the head of the table sitting as she reaches out for Mel, as if studying his face then looking at the empty chair at his side "Where's Strawberry?"
Caramel looks at her, that shyness he's always having all gone as he says, no single stutter in his words "He's unable to come down at the moment"
"Oh" She sounds slightly disappointed "I should go check on him then"
Mel's already shaking his head "He's fine, he just—"
Doesn't want to see her.
Caramel doesn't say it, but the way he pauses, looking at me and then turning away says it for him.
She sighs, a small tired look showing on her face before Coco adds "Mel is the one that you should be looking at her Miss D"
She looks confused at those words, looking at Caramel who has a surprised look as well "Caramel? Did something happen?"
"He—" He seems to struggle in speaking those words before she places a hand on his. The action seems to make him stop breathing as he stares at it, then her before saying "He threw a chair at me"
Chocolate's face makes an emotion I never thought possible as he says deadly calm "You said he threw it at the door"
Caramel turns to him, his eyes panicking now "N-No, I meant the door—"
Chocolate slams his hands on the table as he stands, making Caramel jerk, and even I jolt too as he snarls "You lied"
Tears are already forming in Mel's eyes as he stares at his look alike, his mouth open like words were forming up in his throat but he couldn't let them out.
Cream is looking at the doctor who is looking at both boys, no expression on her face as Coco keeps staring at his brother with a rage filled face before he lets out a sigh, sitting back in his chair "My mood is ruined"
Wait—
What?
Caramel looks terrified at how calm his brother is, and honestly, so am I but Chocolate just puts some food on his plate and begins to eat, not even bothering to look at anyone or say anything.
When he realizes that everyone has their eyes on him, he pauses "Can I not feel four pairs of eyes staring at me right now?"
I look away, Caramel doing the same before Cream says "Don't do it"
It is the first time I'm hearing his voice. It's like he's whispering, but somehow, you can hear his voice which send shivers through your skin that make you actually want to keep hearing he's saying.
Chocolate faces him, a smile on his face "Do what?"
Cream doesn't answer, but whatever he does has the smile leaving Chocolate's face, a frown replacing it before he says, a glare in his eyes "Fuck you"
"Language" Doctor says.
He turns to her, like a snake ready to bite whoever it was that disturbed him before he saw the look in her eyes and he whimpered.
I have no idea what he saw, or what she did, but he began looking at his food, everyone doing the same.
Awkward.
I quickly put some food on my plate so that I don't stick out too much and primarily because I'm crazily hungry. Not even sure which place has the most awkward silence. Here or the convent.
"Really?"
I freeze, the fork midair as my eyes look infront of me, noticing that the Doctor was the one who spoke, looking at me with the others doing same.
Oh God, did I say that out loud?
She chuckles, her eyes shining as she does so "Yes"
"Oh"
The Doctor keeps staring at me, her face poised "Would you tell us how dinner in the convent was like?"
As she says those words, I want to say 'nope, bad memories, I always messed up' but I notice how Caramel is pleading at me with his eyes, Chocolate wanting everyone's attention anywhere but him and Cream—
Cream just looks the same.
"Uh.." I slowly set the spoon down, looking at them "Well, first, we had to say grace"
"What's grace?" Coco asks, cocking his head.
That wakes the nun in me.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask "You don't know Grace? Everyone knows Grace!"
"Is s-she a person?" Caramel asks meekly.
"You're joking" I say, looking at their faces for a small smile to crawl out but everyone still has their serious faces on, except Doc.
She's smiling.
"Of course she's not a person!" I exclaim "She's a prayer. You know, like, 'Oh God thanks for the food even though the Sister's are terrible cooks and this food looks like it's gonna swallow my spoon then me but hey, I gotta be grateful or they'd put me in detention with that lady that has boils all over her face and threatens to pop one on yours'"
"Ewww" Chocolate's sass attitude is coming up, never thought I'd miss it"Does she actually do that?"
I'm nodding, taking one spoon of food in my mouth as I moan "This tastes so delicious! What am I even eating?!"
Chocolate is the one that answers, grinning "Chocolate pudding actually! Mel made it"
I'm nodding again, putting more spoons into my mouth as I look at the twin "You did this? You have to teach me. I can't make anything that isn't cereal"
Chocolate rolls his eyes "I can't even make that"
I pause, looking at him "You're joking?"
Mel finally smiles, shaking his head "He either puts too much milk in or makes it soggy"
I shake my head in disappointment "At least one thing I'm better than you at"
Chocolate scoffs "It would take years before you can do anything even worth my level"
I scoff in return "Honey, at least I can make cereal that would make you beg me for more"
"Cereal is common people food!"
"At least I can make it!"
"Are you both seriously arguing about cereal?" Cream whispers, eating his own food.
Chocolate snaps at him there "Stay out of it Snow White!"
I blurt out immediately "Ha! That's better than Pale boy!"
Cream looks at me now "You named me that?"
I freeze, all their eyes trained on me again before I look back at the pudding as I say to it "But you're really beautiful. I can't imagine it was Pumpkin that made you"
"Wait" Coco says "They get cute names and I don't?"
I'm shoveling more food in my mouth, so that I don't talk but Chocolate wouldn't stop looking at me "Vanilla"
"Inamedyoucreepyboy" I blurt again, now drowning my throat with a full glass of water so that I can push down the huge pile of pudding blocking it.
When I'm done, I turn to my side, noticing that Coco has a face of pure disbelief as I quickly add "Okay, I'm not the best name giver, but I'm trying—"
And then he's laughing.
He's laughing so hard that I'm beginning to notice the similarities between him and his twin brother "What?"
Cream is the one who answers "He once asked us to call him that"
I stare at him "No way"
Mel is laughing "Yes. He actually likes being called that"
I raise an eyebrow at Chocolate "Is that normal? Shouldn't we worry about him?"
Caramel nods "Yeah. He's okay. Some screws are gone but he's fine. I think"
"Oh hell" Chocolate is finally done with laughing, his face a bit red with tears on his cheeks as he looks at me "I like this you! Why were you acting so weird before?"
"That was me normal" I pout, looking at my now empty bowl "Plus, I just got here. I didn't want to— You know, weird you guys out or something"
"Vanilla"
I look up the Doctor, her face in a soft smile "There is something you should know about this place. Here, we do not discriminate. There are no rules that bind you on how to act, even though I might request one or two things from you, but you are not forced to do what I want"
"Besides" Chocolate cuts in "We are all crazy here, except Mel. He's just stuck with the fact that he's our baby and he's never going to be without us, ever"
Caramel is pouting but he's looking at his food anyway "I'm eighteen"
Coco is looking at him "And we love you. I win"
That makes Caramel redden more as Coco chuckles, turning to Cream "And holy shit. You said more than two sentences. I could kiss you but we don't want Vanilla knowing you're actually my boyfriend so I won't"
"What?" I blanch.
As I say that word, everyone freezes, except Coco, the boy is giggling "Oops"My eyes move to his face "Are you guys actually—""He's joking" Cream replies, tone flat.I let out a relieved breath "Good because— Well, you know why. The law is everywhere. Kinda just escaped from one so I'd rather not put my ass out there one more time""There's actually a no cursing policy" Doctor says, her eyes going to Coco "Even though I'm sure some have broken the rules"The boy only grins at her before she turns to me and says "Not that you have to follow it—""But if you're able to not curse for a whole week, Mistress let's you choose what we get to do on Saturday night" Caramel completes, blushing as he looks away "Sorry, I-I couldn't help it"She only smiles at him "It's alright"Chocolate rolls his eyes at that "True. I mean, I know the policy is there and all, and I swear, I've tried, but Mel always wins""Oh" Not that I'm surprised "I thought it'd be Cream, since he doesn't talk much"Chocola
Vanessa, darling. Where are you? Mommy wants to play.If you tell your Father about our little game, I would cut off your tongue!Stop that blasted crying!I jerk from the bed, panting heavily as I look around the room. The lights are off but the window is open, letting the curtains that are yellow with some Winnie the Pooh characters on them as I stare at the moon.Crescent.I shiver a bit as I realize I've been sweating again but I don't want to stay in this room anymore.I had never liked the idea of staying alone.Mother Superior knew that and when she felt like beating me to pieces wasn't actually going to do much, she'd send me to the cellar, keep me there for days till she knew I was weak from screaming too loud.But of course no one knew.I couldn't dare be ungrateful.Even I, with my big mouth, knew that.I quickly take the yellow blanket on my bed and wrap it around my body then begin to walk outside the room.The whole house is eerily dark and quiet but I don't want to stop
After what had happened last night, all I really wanted was to sleep and not be disturbed.At least, for one more hour.But there's this puppy that keeps drooling on my face and breathing loudly on my ear, doing some licks here and there on mu cheeks no matter how many times I turn and try to push it away.I finally let out a loud groan, taking a pillow and pressing it over my head as I grumble "Who sends a puppy to wake someone up?""Ouuu. Is that my nickname?"I let out a scream as I roll off my bed and land on my butt, my eyes landing on the person that's sitting on my bed with a smile on his face "Good morning!""Chocolate?" I ask, because with that excited look in his eyes, it can't be anyone else "Were you— Were you the one licking me?"He nods and let's out an 'arf'I let out a louder groan "Why is everyone so weird?"Chocolate suddenly falls on the bed, looking at me with his head upside down as he says in a tiny voice "Would you come rub my tummy?"I make a face "Ewww! No!" T
Yesterday, Doc takes me to get some clothes (I had to wear her sweater and sweatpants out but I honestly doubt I'd ever return it) and my uniform.Not that I ever saw it after she bought it.When we returned, she asked what else I'd like to have in my room, as something personal for me since she had been the one who actually made the room and would like it if I left my own signature piece.Chocolate has his personal changing room.Caramel has a mini library.Cream has a water dispenser (turns out he's a fish. Are you surprised? I'm not)And Strawberry has a punching bag in his own room. Obviously, it's a sign of him needing help but I'm not saying a word about it.I, on the other hand, get five teddy bears.Why am I being the creepy teddy girl?Well, I'm glad you asked.Asides from the obvious fact that I'm absolutely terrified of sleeping alone because of the dreams I have, I also wanted to make sure Chocolate never has space to stay on my bed again so I can just sleep in peace.But
"Oh come on, it'd be fun!" "Well, dear Chocolate. Anyone who knows you and I can boldly state that I do because you've been on me like a leech for three days now, would know that your example of fun always has pain involved!" "But think about the sports bike! Who wouldn't like to be on a sports bike? Especially a bike that I'm riding in?" "I don't care!" There had a car they drove to school. An Audi Q5 anyway, but it was Strawberry who drove and it was also painfully clear that if I crossed my limits and entered the car as well, he'd happily run the car off the bridge and kill everyone just so I'd die too. So Coco, kindly, said he'd drive me to school. I mean, at first I was terrified out of my wits. Who in the lord's name would give Coco a car to drive? Did they not even worry about the pedestrians on the street? But no. It had to be a sports bike. Which is clearly worse. "Don't be like this, Kitten" Chocolate says, resting on the bike "We're going to be late. Not that I h
The first person to ever know what I really was, was my Ma.Alistair Montgomery was many things, and one of this things, was her ability to read people. It helped her in gossip groups, rising in fame—Helped her in handling me."Are you alright?"I look up from the book I was dawdling in. Doctor had given me saying I could write whatever I wanted in it, that was if I did not feel okay enough to talk to her myself that was.But I would never write what I felt. What I thought.It didn't help anyone.Kai is sitting some feet away from me, a look on his face that reminds me of how Lily looked at me when Mother Superior brought me out of her basement.I hated it.I chuckle, closing the book "Yeah. My shoulder still kinda hurts though""Wanna go to the clinic?" He asks.I give a brief shake of my head "No. It's just a light bruise, it'd go away"I try to reach out for it again, wincing one more time. I think I hit the handle of the locker and hurt something, I don't even know anymore."Um,
Throughout the whole day, no one talks to me. Though I'd rather they had because the side talks and eye stares were uncomfortable but Kai made it bearable.For one, he tried widening my japanese vocabulary but I was really glad I only knew certain phrases and didn't want that to change."But it makes you look like an idiot" He said"A kawaii one" I replied with a wink.He groaned."But when I realized that school was over, my body tensed.Kai wouldn't be there.Kai couldn't make me feel comfortable.Of course he realized my sudden quietness but I didn't give him an explanation. I know that there was no need for me to worry about going back because I was fine before but that fees so long ago.Kai hd offered me a ride home but I didn't want him to see that I lived with them so I just told him I already had a ride though I doubt I still did after everything that had happened.I walk into the girls bathroom, glad that it's quiet and empty as I stare at my reflection.My hair needs obvious
For as long as I can remember, I have never been brave.I always tried to avoid trouble, always tried to make sure no one got into trouble because of me. Most of the times, I would rather make myself suffer for as long as I could if it meant no one would get hurt.I didn't want to be a burden to anyone anymore.It was why the first time I met Chocolate, I kept running away from him, but he was the most persistent person I had ever met.Sure, there were days he terrified me but instead of me to be scared of what he was, it only made me want to be by his side and help calm him down as much as I could.That way, it would be like an equivalent exchange right?He protects me, and I care for him.But Chocolate was never the type to show emotions, and when he did, it was like he made an enormous mistake and he would replace it with a laugh and a grin.I never told him, but he always made me feel useless.Cream and Strawberry as well.When I tried placating Ber, it always ended up with me alw