Chapter 4: Quiet, little Loner

I closed my eyes, trying to slow my heart. It pounded so hard against the walls of my chest I wondered if he could feel it, but each deep breath brought in the cooling fall air mixed with the mossy scent of his cologne. The part of my brain that usually lectured me or relentlessly presented a slew of horrific outcomes had hushed to a whisper. Even without knowing his real name or where he came from, my body had no desire to pull away from him.

I needed this, whatever this was. A distraction. A delusion. It may not go beyond a cab ride - and I assured my inner cynic it wouldn't - but for one night, I was determined to take a chance and have a little fun.

Rusty's warm hands closed around my arms, pulling me against him. As I let my head loll against his shoulder, I realized that although the sidewalk was quieter than the bar, it was still alive with nightlife. Cars passing by, groups of people chatting and laughing on the corner, but as his breath tickled against the top of my head, all other activity seemed to be on another plane.

My stomach tightened, and I wondered if I could keep my grasp on self-control. Or if I had already lost it altogether. I was always the cautious girl who knew of a handful of ways out of every situation before jumping in. Tonight, cuddled against the side of a stranger, I wasn't sure I knew myself.

I twisted to see Rusty's face, but his tight grip on my shoulders didn't allow for much movement.

"It's just a cab ride," he reminded me of the same thing I'd been repeating to myself.

When the late-September wind picked up, and I shuddered, Rusty released me to rub the goosebumps on my arms until the taxi pulled into the lot and stopped near the bar entrance where we waited. He opened the back door on the driver's side and let me in first, then he took the seat behind the driver. He rattled off the name of his hotel, and within moments, the bar disappeared from view.

Rusty took my hand, tracing the thumb against the inside of my wrist, then tugged me closer, crossing my arm over his body and taking it in his left hand.

"Come here," he whispered, and my body moved to obey. I wondered how far I'd let him go, and how far he'd be willing to go in the back of a cab. As I moved, he slid his arm down around my waist, pulling me back and pressing me against his side. My chest tightened as the feeling of an electric charge settled around my collarbone.

"Easy, Loner," he whispered against my ear. "I'm not aiming for a public indecency charge. All I want is a kiss."

"This is a lot of work for a kiss," I challenged him back, but it wasn't so much an argument as another step in our game of flirtation.

He nudged my hair aside, his hot breath sweeping over my neck. "Quiet, little Loner."

My chest worked overtime in short bursts as I stretched my head to the side, urging him to continue. His right hand travelled down my other arm, this time leaving new goosebumps where his touch had moments earlier soothed them away.

"If you want me to stop..." he whispered, looking up as if to see if we were being watched - or maybe to remind me we were not alone. "Say driver."

I felt his lips at my jaw and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against his shoulder. But the kiss he claimed as his goal didn't follow his teasing breath. Inch by inch, he adjusted in his seat, slowly nudging me until I sat perpendicular to him, sideways in the seat. He pressed his lips against my right shoulder, looking up at me, then he pulled my arms behind my back until I stretched across his lap.

I glanced to the front of the car again, only able to see the driver's greying hair.

Securing both of my wrists behind me in his left hand, Rusty traced a finger across my jawline and down my neck, stealing my breath with its delicate movement.

Are you really letting this happen?

More than letting. I wanted it. My body reveled in the sensation. I tugged at my pinned arms, not enough to break free - more to test his grip. It was firm but forgiving enough that I got the impression he'd release me if I pulled hard enough. He leaned toward my lips until I could feel his breath and smell the lingering bite of alcohol, but once again, he stopped just short of kissing me.

I tried pulling upward to close the distance, but his grasp kept me impossibly disconnected while he studied my face, lingering on my eyes. Then, with a smirk he claimed my lips for an instant, sucking on my bottom lip as he pulled back. His right hand moved down to the top of my thigh, and before I could think of catching my breath, he captured my mouth again, thrusting his tongue against my lips until I opened for him.

I tasted the beer and whiskey on his breath, but if all alcohol tasted like that, I would have eagerly downed three or four glasses myself.

He squeezed my leg and pulled away slowly, his eyes never leaving me. "It was nice to meet you, Loner."

I didn't have words. I waited for him to ask me up to his room, so I could firmly decline - and kick myself for it. Because, I had to admit, if he was that good at a kiss in the back of a cab, he had to be damn good at other things.

Then, he released my wrists, and righted me in my seat. I almost grunted in shock, but when the bright lights beyond the cab windows caught my eye, I realized we were pulling into the parking lot of the inn.

"You did that on purpose." I wasn't even sure what I was accusing him of.

Rusty brushed his thumb against my jaw, drawing my face toward his again. He kissed my forehead. "Of course, I did."

Shooting him a glare, my jaw tensed, and I smoothed my clothes. "I'm still not coming to your room."

I waited for him to argue, but he responded with an open, genuine smile that would have knocked me off my feet had I been standing. "I didn't expect that you would, and I respect that."

At a complete loss, I closed my eyes and shook my head.

He patted my knee. "Did you at least have a good night?"

I had. Better than I was willing to admit because I still didn't understand him. Not one thing about him. How he tangled up my insides and disarmed my brain. What his intentions were. Why he'd chosen me over anyone else in that bar. "Why...?"

"A loner who doesn't like sports or alcohol in a bar on a Friday night." He tilted his head. "I wanted to show you a good time."

I had no idea how to react and I stumbled through a few false-starts before I could make a complete sentence. "You were playing me because you thought I was a lonely girl in a bar?"

"I said loner, not lonely." His hand still rested on my knee and he gave it a squeeze, never once breaking eye contact. "And I wasn't playing you. I enjoyed spending the night with a beautiful woman, and I'd do it again."

Pressing a quick kiss to my cheek, he opened his door and slid out of the car. "Have a good night, Loner."

I sank back in my seat, still trying to process everything as he slipped the driver double his fare and instructed him to "take the lady home."

After watching Rusty disappear through the hotel doors, I realized the driver would need my address. "518 Bruce Street," I said, wondering how much of our escapade he'd noticed. It couldn't have been the raciest thing to happen in the back of a cab, but for me it was pretty damn scandalous.

I slumped down in the seat where I was sure the driver couldn't see me. My heart continued pounding and my skin tingled from his touch. I slid my knuckles across the cool glass and caught a glimpse of my reflection - my smile and eyes sparkling back. Whatever the night had been, I couldn't deny that I had enjoyed his effort. I'd felt him pulling me along all night, and I reveled in it, most of the time even pushing back without hesitation.

It was all so unlike me.

"You want the change?" the driver asked, his words startling me back to reality. I sat up and realized we were stopped at the curb in front of the tiny bungalow Ollie and I had shared for the past two years. Surprisingly - and thankfully, Ollie's pickup was nowhere to be seen.

"Keep it," I said, climbing out of the cab without looking back.