Chapter 4

Cheque

My whole body was exhausted and tired after the third consecutive time he used my body. I turned away from him as my whole body was wrapped in a white blanket.

"I didn't expect you still that tight, after all, Klara?" I am very attached. I know, he's starting to insult me ​​again. "You're still delicious like before, your pussy was still firm and tight like there's no other man who wrecked it."

Because of nothing else, Logan. Because it's only you. I want to say it, but it doesn't want to come out of my mouth.

"Thanks for the compliment, if it's a compliment," I said as I closed my eyes and strained to think what she was saying.

"What is your main secret to still maintaining it? Or is it just that I'm bigger than your other guys and your customers?"

I held on to the end of the blanket and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Cat got your tongue now, Klara? Speak, lady! Tell me, how much do you need now? So, that I could ready my cheque."

I hardly stop the tears that want to appear. I got up from the bed. "Just enough for your shit insults, Logan!" I furiously stared at him then I move to pick up my clothes everywhere. "Damn that shit mouth of yours! Will you please stop insulting me? Are you not done yet?" without any response, I rushed to the bathroom to remove him from my heart as he continued to injure me with the deepest judgment of my character.

Damn! He has no right to insult me ​​so much! He knows nothing! Damn you, Logan, for hurting me emotionally! Damn you! I hate you for this! I want to hate you.

I was pulled out of my hair by the pain she was feeling toward me tonight. I want to keep calm because my chest might be tightened in pain. But God, I can't be okay.

I was gradually weakening and slipping on the cold bathroom tiles.

God! I do not want that pain to be repeated over and over again. Please, get rid of this feeling. I do not want this. I don't want to cry anymore. Please, don't want to cry! All the pain I had experienced was enough. I don't want to cry anymore and get hurt like this.

But it doesn't make me stop the tears that I used to hold back earlier. Now it's just pouring continuously, I want to keep up but I can't keep my eyes off it. Because my chest hurts so much. All I want is to shout my pain and doubts. I want to shout at everyone and ask the world why I have been hit by so many problems in life.

First, I shed all the tears that were dripping into my eyes. I did not want to go out first, I don't want him to see my red swollen eyes.

Even though my whole body was tired and messed up, I still forced myself to get dressed. Still, my tears keep falling like flowing water in the river. I feel sorry for myself. I didn't expect this day to come when we would meet and what would happen to me right away.

I looked in the mirror when I finished fixing my clothes. My eyes are swollen and my face is pale. Like my life back then and now, out of order.

Stop crying, Klara. Don't cry at what he says. He only wrath you for leaving him. He just can't accept that you left him before. I said to myself in front of the large mirror. It was also my fault too because I left without saying goodbye.

When I get tired of crying, I wash my face and dry it using a white towel.

After drying my face, I immediately took the makeup I needed to cover my face and my swollen eyes.

I’m fixing my make up which is my expertise to cover up my broken self.

He shouldn't see me when I'm too broken. Never!

I look at my face several times in front of the mirror. When I'm sure that I am already okay, I smile a bit. I'm exposing my fake self to the mirror.

It's only Logan, Klara.

There is no reason for me to cry in front of him now. He might just think I'm trying to get some sympathy.

I one last smile as I glimpse myself in front of the mirror, then I finally go out of the bathroom and prepare myself to face him.

My heart skips and pounds so much when our eyes meet as I open the door. All the lights in the hotel room were turned on, as he sat on the edge of the bed and dressed as I was. He looked straight at me.

I immediately avoided looking at him as he stared into my eyes. Without a word I walked, I knew his eyes were still following me. I quietly put on my shoes. I would have turned away when he spoke.

"You forgot your cheque, Klara."

I swallow and I plaster a sarcastic smile then I move to face him. "You keep the money, Mr. Falcon. What happened to us tonight is really my advanced gift for your upcoming wedding. It's a free service by the way."

I saw his darkening look as he stood and then came closer to me. I slowly avoided looking at him.

"Why not accept this money?" I swallowed when he was already in front of me right now. "Just say if it's a small amount than what you expected, then I'll add more. Now, name your price, I don't care about the money, just to pay for your service!"

I stared at him in the eye for a long second. "I don't need your money." Then I moved down my eyesight because my eyes were dimming again and I didn't want him to see my still broken self.

"You're going to accept this or I will let you taste the beast me. Don't try to get me angry, Klara! I don't have to be overwhelmed with enjoyment in a free service. Especially if you and your body come from it."

I shook my head as I blinked my eyes to hold back the tears that were really in my eyes. "Y-You did it already, Logan." I painfully smiled at him, and I quickly wiped away the tiny grain of tears that ran down the side of my eye. "I-Isn't that enough for you to swallow me just to taste your anger? It hurts you know. You already let me taste the beast you and I really feel it physically and emotionally. Hopefully, that's enough so I can ease your anger at me. I hope we're even now," I said and turned away.

"You still know how to get hurt, after what you did to me, bitch?"

I stopped turning the doorknob. I shook my fist and turned to face him.

"O... Of course, I know how to get hurt even if I get so much anesthesia all over my body, I still feel pain. I'm just a human, Logan. But you don't have to worry about my feelings anyway because I know how to handle them. You know me as a brave woman, I can always be numb, to escape this bullshit and unfair life and reality. I'm a strong person, whatever pain and suffering I can still handle it. You know me." Then I raised my eyebrows while smirking. "So, I gotta go now? Hope you enjoy the night… the sex with me."

"Who told you I enjoy doing it with you, huh, Klara?" He came up to me and pushed me against the closed door. I did not show my weakness in front of him. "Before, I enjoy doing it with you. But now," he insulted and stared at me from my head to foot. "... you only have your body and face, but deep down there in your core, you are grimy. So, don't ever assume that I enjoy being inside you if there is any come to you so much! "

In my anger, I could no longer hold my hand to slap him with too much strength.

"I said to stop insulting me!"

His eyes narrowed at me. His face was also very dark. "Why? Does it hurt to hear the truth? That you're a slut! Huh, Klara?" He pins me on the door, I still look at him and I do not panic. But the truth is, my whole nerves are shaking with the darkness and anger he shows.

My face just dropped as I couldn't even look at him. "Are you done being angry with me? Because I want to go home. I want to rest." I say calmly as I hold my stomach slightly tight.

"You, look at me, bitch!" He firmly lifted my face. "Why did you show up to me after four years? Damn, Klara! After what you did to me then, do you still have the courage to face now?"

I swallowed hard. "It was coincidental, i-if I only knew you were the person my boss chose me as her replacement for the meeting, I wouldn't have to accept it so that I could have to avoid your disrespect for my whole being. I-I would rather avoid you and forget you." I gasped. "I-I swear. Like you, I'll never wish to see you again, L-Logan."

Lie! Lie! Lies! Damn it! That's only a lie. I'm really a liar! Damn! As a matter of fact, I have sought anything since that time to ask him for forgiveness. Hoping he would have forgiven me. That I would beg and kneel to him just to bring back our old good relationship. Our us and our pleasant forever.

"Get this cheque and leave!" He says in an angry tone as he let go of my face. "Leave, Klara! Leave me alone! Get out of my sight!" I was even more surprised when he forced my hand over his cheque, and I was so absorbed when he shouts to leave him there alone.

Not minding I raised the cheque and looked at its value. "O-One million for a night? Hmm, this is so big for my s-service fee. You're still really that generous when it comes to me, 'yeah? You really can pay my whole p-personality. Well... t-thank you for this, Logan." My voice was pretty quiet at that time. "B-But I can't accept this. I'm sorry, please do not force me. I really can't accept your money... I can't accept this Logan... I-I can't accept your wealth. You keep it again because I-I don't need money." I crumpled the cheque in my hand and drop it on the floor.

A grain of tears appeared before I turn myself. I just cannot help but tear it into the side of my eye. I know he sees my tears falling, but I quickly wipe them and hurried out of that hotel before I got weak and helpless.

Damn. I hate you. I wish I never had met you so that I can't feel this pain anymore. I hate you, I hate you so much. Why it is you, Logan. Why is this heart of mine choosing to love you? Damn! Why?

In the car, I poured all the pain I feel. I cried for all the pain and hurt I was suffering.

When I was able to drive I immediately drove my car home. I don't care if I'm overspeeding, I'd rather just have an accident and die immediately.

****

"My God, Klara! Where did you go? Why didn't you just answer my call? I really feel so worried about--"

She couldn't finish what she was saying because I immediately hugged her and burst into my tears at her shoulders.

"B-Brii..." I burst into tears. I could feel her being shocked. "It's really hurt. It's still very painful. I want to die now, Brianna. I want to die now..." I continued to cry and groan over her shoulder. "I don't want to live anymore this time... I wish I had just died. So that I would never feel the pain in my heart again, Brianna..."