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After graduation, my friends and I were all invited to Dwayne's house with our families together. It was absolutely great that Neil made such a nice party for us in his garden. There I stood in my room and hung the robe back on my room door, looked at myself again in the mirror and was unsure because I didn't know if Jayden would come and if I would meet him there, let alone I was afraid of what would happen if he were there. Will he talk to me then? Am I going to go up to him and talk? Are we ignoring each other? Am I breaking down again? I shouldn't be so scared that I might run into him, but it's really killing me. Every thought I give to him kills me!!!!

But I was glad that TJ still came and I got some emotional support.

I went over to the Staffords with my parents and I was really nervous. There were a lot of people there, but I did n't see him . That was good. Was it? I really couldn't take it otherwise. I didn't want to see him, not even from a distance. I wasn't even ready to