Dealing With Myself

  I had run into the woods near the packhouse. Grateful as I entered no one was following me. I took to the trees seeking to get lost within them. I could not go find my friends not when I felt this useless. Felt so disgusted with me. If I had been born female my parents would have never tossed me out. My mate would have opened his arms to me. But no I am a male omega. 

  I moved til the trees were thick around me. I dared not stay on the ground. If a guard saw me they would ask questions. So I climbed. They might still smell me but they would have to climb up to ask me anything. Finding a ranch that was solid I pulled myself all the way on it and laid on top. 

 In the air, you can hear the birds singing to one another. I wished I had wings instead of claws. Maybe if I did I could go somewhere where someone, even human would be happy with me. Resting my head against the wood of the tree I looked out. 

  When I had climbed up here the sun was still high in the air but now it was almost sunk into the darkness. I wrapped my arms around myself. Hoped it would not get too bad. As I sat there crying and pondering why fate had given me such crappy things to deal with. 

  Back when I was younger both my parents loved me. They would often plan something fun for us to do as a family once a month. One of my favorites was going to the beach. Playing with my siblings and our parents watching us splash in the water. Making sandcastles for my sister's dolls. All of us are happy and love each other. To think all it took was me being different for them to no longer want me.  I just was not good enough and was found lacking. 

  It still hurt that I had no place truly in this world. I had so much faith in meeting my mate and falling into love instantly it never occurred to me that he would not want me. I was nothing to him and his chosen mate meant more to him. 

  Giving up Carson and the others would hurt. But I could not bear to stay here knowing I was unwanted. Knowing that the one person who should love me never will. All-cause I am worthless stupid omega. 

  It started to grow a bit colder so I slowly brought my body as close together as I could muster without falling. I let the tears flow freely out in the open. 

 Howls jolted me awake. I moved far too fast my body lost balance on the tree as I fell to the floor of the forest. More howls filled the air. They sounded like they were getting closer. My right arm hurt from where I fell. My face also had blood dripping from my nose. The physical pain was nothing though still compared to the mental. 

  Soon I found myself being hauled up into strong arms. For some reason, I kept losing consciousness. I could only wonder if I hit my head harder than I had previously thought. The damn thing had a marching band running in it. 

  I came back to being able to take in what was going on as I was laid on a soft bed. I had been taken to the infirmary. I then saw the older man standing by the door looking out for someone. His face looked upset. I wondered why. Then the darkness took me once more. I welcomed it and hoped it would keep me.