BroKen

Kerry laid across her lonely bed feeling listless and sorry for herself. That's the way it has been for the past three months or so. No matter how much she told herself that today was the day she was going to get up and get moving, she just could never find the energy to do much more than pick her head up off her pillow. Today, she didn't even have it in her for that. Why bother? What was the point? She had nothing to live for, or if she did, she couldn't think of it in that moment of melancholy. She fought back unwanted tears as she rolled over to look at the opposite wall. It was the same every morning when she opened her eyes first thing. The debilitating and almost crippling pain that seemed to grow stronger with each new day. She never imagined that a person could feel such despair and still survive. She hadn't seriously contemplated taking her own life, but there were moments when she wondered what pain was worse than the one she now suffered that led so many down that road

She'd even sunk so low as to hang around outside her old home, the home she'd barely had time to enjoy before being ousted. Having the cops cart you away in handcuffs because your replacement felt threatened by you hanging around her home as she carried the child that was by all rights supposed to be yours was about as horrifying an ordeal as she could've imagined. That had been the last time she'd tried. The humiliation coupled with the restraining order had finally put the nail in that coffin. And if she hadn't exactly moved on, she'd withdrawn. She'd had to accept after all the knocks that her life was gone. The life she'd mapped out for herself had become nothing more than a tainted dream. It had come to light after all was said and done that the affair was a well-known fact among their circle of friends. Everyone knew except the gullible unsuspecting fool who had put her life on hold for the man she thought was the love of her life and she his. He'd even talked her into putt

Getting up from the floor, she took the box with her back to the kitchen, where she made herself another pot of coffee and prepared to dig in. For the first time, in too long to remember, she felt half alive and hoped the feeling last. She was tired of looking at the back end of despair, time for some light and laughter, even if it was with the people she created in her own mind. It was another few hours before she came up for air. Going back over what she'd written, she felt the first real sense of hope since her world had unraveled. Sitting there at the ratty old table, she felt empowered and accomplished with her small victory. You see, all is not lost. There's still a little piece of you in there. She read it over again to be sure, and it still flowed well. Something was forming in the pit of her gut that told her maybe life was about to change. That maybe her days of crying on the bathroom floor were at an end. "This is pretty good stuff, Kerry girl." She felt a flutter o

"Er, excuse me, gotta go." She'd lost her damn mind that's it. All the pressure from the last few months had finally made her crack and that's why she was standing on a sidewalk salivating over the very well proportioned schlong of a complete stranger. She had never in her life done such a thing, what in the world had possessed her? Sure he was the hottest thing she'd ever seen outside a TV screen, but still. She wasn't the type to act in such a way. What must he think of her? She knew he'd caught her, oh damn. But funnily enough where the old Kerry would've run in mortal shame, the new one wouldn't mind another peek. Good grief. You'd think she'd learned her lesson. What happened to all those private vows she'd made to herself, never to even look at a member of the opposite sex again in this lifetime? It took her a moment to realize he hadn't moved out of her way to let her pass since she'd gotten tangled up in her own head. "You're absolutely gorgeous." Her eyes bugged out o

Back at the little apartment she opened the windows to let in some air. There was no air conditioning and she wouldn't have used it if there were one, because she couldn't really afford to waste money on the electric bill. She'd barely made it out of the divorce with a few thousand dollars, money she'd squirrelled away each month to plan for a trip. Money, Paul knew nothing about or she was sure he'd have taken that as well. Every time she thought of the injustice of it, she got really sad or really mad. The fact that someone who had once proclaimed undying love for her could do such a horrible thing to her left her cold and afraid. The world truly was a scary place. She had a sudden flash of Kyle and the way he'd looked down at her. She wondered what kind of man he was. She knew better than to judge a book by its cover, look at what the boy next door had done to her life. But there had to be some kind of story there, what with all the tats and that bike. She actually found