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Born Again
Born Again
Author: Mokete Ngubeni

The DREAM I had

Saint or Sinner.

Rich or Poor.

Black or White.

We all have dreams. However, a dream will always remain a dream until you make it visionary.

Those words came about in my thoughts as I was wondering about this dream- a given dream to be precise.

My parents, mom, to be specific, would always tell me that in the future they want to see me as a Doctor of this family; I`d always smile and say no word hence it remained a dream, simply because I cared less about it. It wasn’t my dream after all.

I was young and confused.

I didn’t know why they wanted me to be a Doctor, neither did they know- they would have told me!

Came this day at school, when the principal caught us making hilarious moves on top of the desks. That pissed her off. So she told us to stand in front and tell our mates the reason why we come to school.

My friend and I sat at the front desk just next to the classroom door. We were that kind of friends who supported each other in all means- good or bad, wrong or right, guilty or not, we would stick with each other.

Wherever we were, people laughed and saw miracles- not that we were magicians but we were that surprising, we ran with minds of many. That made us hilariously notorious and since we were best of friends, we ended up making and cursing a promise.

We promised that we would be friends forever and nothing would separate us. Shall we separate, bad things should happen to one who broke the promise.

My friend became the first to speak, he told the class that the reason he comes to school is that he is forced to be at school since no- one is there to take care of him at home.

The class went silent for a while, I was also shocked- even the principal, then I laughed to change the current atmosphere- the rest of the class followed.

The Clever- Learner volunteered to join us.

She is the best learner of all grade3s. She is one of the academically gifted learners. She knows above her league. And she knows more than I know. “The reason I come to school is to fortify my intellect so I can effortlessly bargain with particular challenges I will confront through my life. Even though I will disregard what I learnt in school, the serious exertion I spend battling with my scholarly material tones my intellect, like the physical conditioning tones my body.” Said the Clever- Learner with confidence.

The Principal was impressed by what the Clever- Learner said, I was also impressed.

The Principal asked her to tell the purpose of a dream and she didn’t hesitate nor gave it a thought. She just coughed!

“To have a dream allows you to be your true self all the time as it fits into your life. Your dream will integrate perfectly into your lifestyle and will fit you wonderfully. It will feel like a natural part of you and will not hinder your life and other aspects of your life. It will incorporate your values and allows you to tap into your gifts, I mean everyone has different gifts and qualities." She said it with confidence,  "A dream enables you to align with your passion and do what you love, it even helps you make a difference to something you believe in. It is enjoyable and doesn't seem like work, all you have to do is to follow your wants, not your shoulds, and fulfil yourself.”

The class gave her a round of applause.

After what she said, I now got the idea of what a dream is- or so I thought.

The Clever- Learner went back to her sit and my friend took the stand again and said, “The purpose of me coming to school is to strengthen my mind so that when I grow up I can make a lot of money easily and my dream is to have the biggest mansion that money can buy, with everything I need and want.”

The Principal got fed up again, but she still had some patience and allowed me to speak. I didn’t know what to say, but I had to say something.

“I come to school to strengthen my mind so I could think out of the box and help my friend make and use his money wisely. My dream is to become a lawyer- my friend`s lawyer!”

I don’t know which part of what I said pissed the Principal off. She took us to the office and called our parents on immediate effect.

Within 30minutes, both our parents were there.

But why were they called? Was it because we were disrupting the class or because we don’t know why we had come to school?

Before one could greet the principal, my mom was already on fire. She was in the spotlight.

“Why am I called here?" said mom.

"Pardon?"

"I`m also working in case you forgot, Principal!”

Since when did she start working? Whenever it was, congrats!

“Ma`am, your children are becoming a problem now at school, they need to be disciplined. I called you here so to alert you of the situation so we as...” Said the Principal.

“You must be joking, you called me to come and help you with your job? Why am I even paying school fees!”

“What do you mean, Ma`am?”

“Allow me to go and do my job so I can pay the fees at the end of the month, please.” She spoke leaving the principal`s office.

The Principal tried by all means to convince my mom but mom will always be mom- once convinced nothing can change her.

I just wonder why she pulled that stunt.

As they were arguing, mom said something I never knew. If I could say it in my own words, she said that she pays school fees so the school could prepare me for the future. She pays school fees for the school to mature my mind, to feed me with knowledge, and help me to find my skills and talent so I could be successful in life.

“No wonder why you misbehave, charity begins at home.” said the principal.

To me what she said was trash, I didn’t get the literal meaning of what she said but I could relate hence I say it's trash. I`m not what she says I am.

At home, I`m a sweet and innocent child who is passionate about his dream- a given dream. At school, learners knew me as a notorious smart kid while teachers knew me as an outperforming learner- 3rd best in grade3 learners.

That’s why I gave her a look- pissed! I wanted to answer her but I couldn’t, not that I couldn’t but because I wasn’t raised to say; especially to a grown-up person.

“Is there something I can do for you, Ma`am?” asked my friend`s mother.

“Yes, please distance your son from this kid if you want to see him as something in the future.”

“Future? That’s what you should be preparing us for, but you are not.” Said, my friend.

“Excuse me?”

“There is no way we gonna separate.” said my friend, “We made a promise we can`t afford to break.”

We both left the office running.

During lunch, I managed to talk to the Clever- Learner.

“What a speech you said earlier, I was impressed!” I said.

“You reckon? And to think about it, yours was kinder good too!”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”

“But you weren’t positive. You didn’t mean what you said and to dream as your friend`s lawyer…what a friendship you guys have.”

“What`s wrong with that?”

“Imagine someone, at a young age, dreaming to make easy money, what will happen once he's old?”

“He will be hungry and eager for it, he`ll find ways to make it.”

“With greed! And my Dad says there is no good way to make easy money.”

“The only way would be through crime.” I said. Maybe that’s what concerned the Principal; us living a negative life- a life of crime.

“That’s where you belong!” said a mystery voice.

“What?” I said it in shock.

“Wow, it`s just a suggestion. I`m not saying you should stop being his friend, all I`m saying is that you should learn to spend more time with dreamers like you; people who could help you visualize your dream as a lawyer.”

“Wait, who said I wanna be a lawyer?”

When I got home after school, hell happened.

Mom wanted to know why she was called at school and I didn’t know what to say, there was nothing to say. So I lied.

I told her that I was in a fight with my friend but it was nothing big; I have no bruise at all.

“I told you about this friend of yours, his nothing but trouble. This is what`s gonna happen, tell him he should never come to my house ever again because you two are no more friends.” said my mom.

Without arguing, I went to my bedroom and lied in bed.

As I did, I also gave what mom and the Clever- Learner said a thought. I then closed my eyes to memorize what the Clever- Learner said in class.

As I rapidly memorized it, I caught it in an angle that convinced me that what she said was a motivation she got from her parents.

What a family she has, all intellectuals- and positive.

Maybe I should befriend her, but before I do I have to do my homework and get to her league first. I did some research about dreams and stuff, and as that happened I spontaneously started to like the dream career my parents had for me- a dream of being a Doctor.

One day, as we were in the chemistry lab doing an experiment, the teacher went out for a while. My group used that free time to make jokes and laugh out loud.

That’s when the Clever- learner approached me and took a tube on my hand then left without saying a word.

I had to follow her and by the time I grabbed her hand, the teacher came in. She returned my tube and commanded we meet during lunch.

After eating with my friends during lunch, I did as she commanded.

I started wondering how serious our conversation was going to be when I saw her waiting for me at her desk.

After greeting each other, again, she went straight to the point- furious.

“It seems like you didn’t take our last conversation seriously, did you?”

“Of course, I did.” I said, “What makes you think I didn’t?”

“You still spend most of the time with him, why?”

“Let`s not get there. I mean I didn’t come here for that.”

“The last time I checked I`m the one who called you here.”

“What you said about the purpose of a dream and all the other day. Would I be lying if I said someone is motivating you; a mentor or something like that?”

She laughed then said, “What makes you think so?”

“I don’t know unless your parents are intellectuals and highly educated, are they?”

“Yes, they are.” She said, “My mom is a Medical Doctor with her own surgery and Dad is a philosopher and a writer, he says his dream is to develop a black `man through his writings. He's not racist, that’s why I`m in a multiracial school, right?”

“I like your Dad.” I said, “Did he tell you that it takes tremendous energy to step into a false person rather than your true self. So, having a dream will enable you not to be ‘Jackyll and Hyde’, hence he said to you that a dream allows you to be your true self all the time?”

She gave me a hand of applause with a smile then said, “It`s rare to meet or connect with someone you think alike. I guess we are fortunate that we met at an early age. Well, that depends on you.”

“What does that mean?” I asked confused.

“If I befriend you now, technically I`d be your friend`s friend and I can`t afford that- I can`t be his friend.”

But why?

Why can`t you give my friend a chance? What is it that you see in him that I can`t see? Why can`t you, for once, mind your own business and leave us alone cause we`ll forever be friends till death do us apart!

I now had to choose; I had to choose my cursed friendship over a brighter future or a brighter future over a cursed friendship.

I had to keep the promise or follow a fairy- tale story; a story which I call a dream.

For the first time in our friendship, I didn’t choose him; I chose to follow a fairy-tale story since they, sometimes, can be true.

“Are you ready to suffer the consequences?” asked the Mystery voice.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?” I still didn’t get a response, not that I was expecting it.

Without hesitation, I approached my friend. “Where have you been, I planned the next move for today.” said my friend.

“That has to wait a bit." I said, "The principal is still on our case, so is everyone.”

“Come on, I thought we concluded the matter?”

I didn’t respond.

He sighed and said, “Say it! That clown convinced you. I knew she was up to no good hanging out with you- my future lawyer.”

“How about we keep a low-key till next year, and see if they are satisfied.”

“So this is how we end things, friend?”

“No, we can`t afford to break the promise.”

“But you just did." he said, "Goodbye, friend!”

I messed up!

As days went by, I, missing our friendship never clicked my mind because the Clever- Learner always made it worth a while. We always kept each other`s company and I even made her my academic competitor since she made me love school more than ever before.

She released a genius out of me. I even started loving her, with real feelings.

One day, we were attending CAT and the teacher wasn’t at school; we then, as a class, considered the period a free period. I wanted to talk to her; I wanted to take the chance and tell her how I feel, but I just couldn`t.

When I got to her, I asked her about dreams and stuff. She said that her dream is to be a Doctor; to save lives.

She then asked me that since my dream is not to be a lawyer, what do I wanna be.

I froze a bit, unsure of what to say, but at last, I said it. “I really don't know, not that I had considered other options yet. But since you said it, I think saving lives is. Let`s become Doctors, dear.”

“You seem too confused.” said my friend.

We both laughed.

After school, I went straight home as if I knew what had happened. When I got home, I found the house empty- only the maid was there.

She said that my Aunt was at the hospital in a dying bed.

That didn’t suit me well and I wanted to go and see it for myself. I couldn’t since the car wasn’t there so I had to wait for night visits- when the car is there.

When my parents came back, they had more bad news with them.

My Aunt was no- more.

What a pain it brought to my family. Tears fell like heavy rains, the floor was filled like a river mouth. They were all crying except for one person- my Aunt`s best friend.

Even after the funeral, I didn’t go to therapy; not that I didn’t want to, no- one noticed that I needed it. That’s how I moved from loving to following a dream of being a Doctor.

I didn’t want other people to suffer the pain my family and I experienced. The only way to make sure they don’t was through being a Doctor and save lives.

My friendship with the Clever- Learner became of best friends. We became best friends and we introduced each other to our families.

What I hated, and my mom loved, was that we visited each other with terms and conditions. And worse, we were supposed to be dropped inside one`s house.

We rarely went for a walk alone.

What I liked is that her study- room was of a chemistry lab so whatever experiment we wanted to do, we did.

And as for my study- room, it was full of gadgets and computer software; whatever research we wanted to do, we did.

One Friday night, my sister, a twin sister of my Last- born brother, never came back home; she was in grade10. Grown as she is, mom was freaked and worried.

Both my brothers went to look for her but came back without her.

The following morning, she came back home, looking fine as always but Mom didn't see that. When she told me to go to my room, I thought she was going to beat my sister so I walked in a slow-paced walk to hear their conversation.

As she shouted her, she got a slip of tongue and said what she shouldn’t have said since walls do have ears.

She asked my sister if she wants to be killed by HIV and AIDS, like our Aunt.

The manner she used when saying so made me feel like those people are the ones currently taking the lives of many. It made me feel like my Aunt was warned like my sister is warned but she didn’t listen.

I was heartbroken, so I went to my room to cry. I cried like something bad just happened and I was to be blamed. I was starting to miss my Aunt and was scared of what HIV and AIDS will do to my sister.

Luckily, it was the Clever- Learner`s turn to visit and I had plans for the day.

When she came I canceled them so we could do a little bit of research about HIV and AIDS. That’s when she told me that HIV/AIDS is not people but HIV is a virus that later produces a disease called AIDS.

I still didn’t get a clear picture until after I saw what I saw on the internet.

The first information I got really changed my life for good. It made me create my own dream, a dream which will prevent this virus from spreading to many families` loved- ones.

“I think it would be best if I became a chemical scientist.”

“What do you really wanna be?" she asked, "First, it was being a lawyer, then a Doctor, and now this. What`s next, a philosopher?”

“I`m trying to find myself. Be supportive.”

“If you were to, for once, make your dreams visionary, you wouldn’t be a sinking sheep. I mean you are a genius, after all.”

“I want to be a chemical scientist so I could invent a pill that would cure this HIV/AIDS completely, isn’t that visionary enough?” I said, “With you on my side as a Doctor and with me on your side as a chemical scientist, we would put our names in history for saving lives.”

"That`s nice!"

Now that we were on the same page, what was left for us is to live the dream at a young age.

Comments (1)
goodnovel comment avatar
Thembinkosi Mavimbela
It's a really nice book and it's very inspiring
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