Independence at a young age

Sometimes following your dream can feel like a sleepwalking kind of thing. However, if you don’t follow a dream you have, you would be like a dog barking without biting. So one shouldn’t cry to give up but cry to keep going. One shouldn’t cry to quit because you are already in it, rather find a way and benefit out of it. Nothing matters like maintaining the situation.

Time went by, and I was in grade4. It was our first day at school after the December holidays, and the Clever- Learner didn't pitch up at school.

After noticing that she wasn’t at school, my mood changed and I got a weird feeling. Something should have happened to her. This is so unlike her. Or maybe she is having fun wherever she went for holidays so she forgot that schools were opening today. Who knows!

She didn’t pitch up the whole week, then a month. That really got me worried and I had to act on it.

The first thing I did was to tell mom that I want to visit my friend and she called her parents but both went straight to voicemail. I had to convince mom, beg her to visit uninvited and at last, we did.

When we got there, the bad news was what we got. One of the neighbours saw us knocking at the Clever-learner`s house and she came to tell us what had happened.

She said that people living in this residence got into an accident as they were on their way back from the holidays and only their daughter survived.

“Do you have any idea where she could be now?”

“No, but the last time I heard she was in a hospital.”

I felt like I lost a friend, a best friend. Like I have lost a dreamer, someone who always encouraged me to look at the brighter future. I might have lost her, but maybe not for good.

I spent a while trying to track her down but nothing linked me to her except the hospital she was admitted to after the accident. I asked my Mom to go with me to that hospital but her stubbornness made her to refuse going with me to that hospital. There was no chance that I could go alone.

Maybe I should just let go, if we were meant for each other then we will meet one day. I know it’s a bad decision to make but I don’t have a choice.

I am now back to square one. No more chemical experiments, no more making my dream visionary more often like before, and no more good times with my dearest best friend.

“You can still make your dream visionary.” Said the mystery voice.

“Who are you?”

Again, I got no response. Maybe I should take that as words of advice. Home wouldn’t hurt, would it?

When Dad came home on a weekend, I used dinner time to tell them about my dream. Everyone was there and I never hesitated. In fact, I saw myself coughing at them.

“Mom, Dad, why do you want me to be a doctor?”

“Where is that question coming from?” asked mom with a shock on her face.

“It’s just that being a doctor isn’t what I want to be in the future.”

“So what precisely do you want to be?” asked Dad.

“You are going to be a doctor, like it or not and it’s final!” said mom, furiously.

“Let’s give him a chance to speak, my dear.”

“Mom, I know being a doctor would bring more honour to the family legacy and it’s paying good but I have a better dream than that.”

“What could be better than honour and money?”

“Helping the world and its people.”

Everyone stopped eating and gave me a look. I felt like I said something wrong.

“Care to tell us your dream?” said Dad.

I panicked a bit, then said, “My dream is to become a chemical scientist. I want to invent a pill for….”

“For what?” mom asked furiously.

“I want to invent a pill that will make our family’s reputation high and at the same time it will make us the richest family on earth.”

My firstborn brother laughed while everyone was serious and that made me angry at him.

“What’s so funny? Let me dream because I don’t want to end up like you in the future.”

“That’s what I fear for you, my son. You are dreaming and tell me, what happens when you wake up from that dream?”

I froze a bit then said, “I will skip the bridge when I get to it.”

“It’s not that simple as you think. I recommend you to be a doctor because we would be there for you when you wake up from that dream.”

“Let me wake up now! I want to face the reality of my own dream.” I said it with anger. I even lost appetite and went to bed.

That's how I started hating my family. 

Watching T.V made me believe what families do on T.V is what they do in reality. Maybe watching T.V is a bad thing for young stars. Maybe parents aren’t bad people. They do what they think is good for us, without bothering to hear our opinions.

Not only to hear but to also share a vision on why they think their opinions would succeed and not ours. I mean they may be older than us but that doesn’t mean that they experienced all kinds of challenges that we, as children, are going to experience.

We are different people with different brains- or thinking capacities, therefore we have different mindsets and different challenges ahead of us.

Either way, parents will always be parents. They give birth to us then expect to choose a path for us; like they know what`s on those folded arms.

What a caution they have. I, myself aren’t perfect but I hate the mindset parents have; calling that “caution destruction- progress". An error isn't a mistake unless you refuse to correct it.

As I was heading to my bedroom, my Last-born brother followed me.

“What are you doing in my room?”

“What changed your mind all of a sudden? I thought you were cool with being a doctor.”

“A lot has been happening lately.”

“Like what?”

I looked him in the eyes, not knowing what to say. whether to say it or not. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

He did promise me.

“Remember that night Sis went missing, when she came back mom lost it and said words she shouldn’t have said. She asked Sis if she wanted to be killed like our Aunt by this certain HIV/AIDS.”

“What does that have to do with you?”

“I want to invent a pill that will cure it to prevent the upcoming pain for those who are about to get one. Weren’t you listening at dinner?”

“Wake up, Lil bro. Who are you to invent a pill which many doctors and scientists failed to invent all these years?”

“I’m not like them. I know it’s just the starter but it will get me somewhere.”

“What do you have as your starter?”

“All I know is that HIV is a virus which destroys the CD4-cells and weakens the immune system which will become progressively weaker while more symptoms appear. AIDS and some rare diseases evident, that’s when death normally occurs.” I said it proudly.

“Are you aware that you have been stating problems, not solutions?”

“So far I recommend people to get tested and have safety measures to prevent infections. I may have not invented the cure yet but I promise to invent one.”

“You sound like a dreamer." he said, "What I mean is that it’s every child’s dream to help the world but on the other side this world you want to help has people who never want to see you succeed in life. Who knows our brother was cursed not to achieve his dreams. I don’t believe in witchcraft but I do believe that a heart of a grown-up can curse more than a witch.”

“What are you saying?”

“Take it from mom. She is against you being a scientist so do you think you will achieve that dream? Don’t say a word, I know you are mature enough but, you are young so the main question is that when you get a chance to experience life outside home, will you still follow your dream or live reality?”

“I still don’t get your point.”

“I don’t blame you, but life will show you one day.” He said, “Life outside home will.”

“Why don’t you?”

"Tomorrow is Friday, we are bunking school." he said, "I`ll show you."

He left me to sleep wondering what could stop me from following my dream.

In the morning, I faked my illness so I could bunk school. Later, mom left the house and it gave me a chance to go and experience the real world outside home- with my Last-born brother, of cause.

We went to his friend to borrow a car, I was surprised to see this friend of my brother so old to be our father. How possible was that?

“What a friend you have, bro.”

“Shut up and enjoy.”

My brother drove us to this place in the middle of nowhere, I didn’t notice which ways we took to that place because he was chatting with me all the way, none-stop.

I got surprised to see a big building in the middle of nowhere. What a nice parking lot it has. I didn’t get enough time to explore it since we rushed straight into the elevator to the basement.

“Wow. Is it what I think it is?" I said giving him a hug, "Thank you, bro. It means a lot to me, really.”

“Don’t get too excited, as a scientist you should know that anything is possible.”

An old man greeted us. I think he owns the lab.

“What pleasure do we owe this kid?”

“Do I know you? Your voice sounds familiar.” I said.

“He is my young brother, also want to see himself in that suit one day.”

That was the beginning of a long chat.

My brother tried, by all means, to convince this old man to allow me to use the lab and chemicals or give me an internship of a sort, but the old man refused without swallowing his words.

Their argument almost got into a physical fight but I was there to settle them down and we left immediately.

We drove off to a certain place again. This time it was kind of a Ghetto area, a place of junkies. There were also women who dressed inappropriately- some almost naked. 

When the car stopped, my brother took out a bag full of drugs, these junkies came to beg for some. He gave them a crack to share then gave me weed bags to sell around.

When I refused, he blackmailed me.

“You are so ironic, how can you help the world if you can’t help your own blood?”

“I want to help the world in a positive way while you want me to help you in a negative way.”

“Negative! Want to know what negative is? The world itself!" he said, "Remember our chat last night, a wise man once said every ‘man live for themselves and the old man confirmed it. So will I.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going tell mom I found her sick child roaming in the streets during school hours.”

"You are bluffing."

"Try me!"

He gave me no choice but to do as he says and sell that weed. He told me that we should split our spots just for control.

As I was selling on my spot, a police car came my way. I think they saw me give my last customer a bag. No, they didn’t. What a gut they had to stop and search me without a warrant.

I got arrested with hard evidence, so much for a child my age.

Never mind the police, all that worried me was my mom. How will I answer this to her?

I`m such a disguise!

When we got to the nearest station they kept me in a waiting cell full of people older to be my brothers so I wasn’t afraid of them, not even by piece until this guy approached me.

“Who are you? How old are you? What are you doing here?”

So many questions!

I gave him a look and never responded. All that ran in my mind were my parents and brother.

This guy grabbed me against the wall and as he was about to beat me, I shouted my brother’s name and he stopped what he was about to do.

“Do you know him? Do you work for him?”

“He's my brother. I was selling drugs for him when I got arrested.”

They laughed.

“What`s funny?”

“That’s so unlike him." he said, "Piece of advice from us, when you enter that interrogation room don’t mention his name or else someone will kill you- dead! Understood?”

“Won’t they keep me longer if I don’t talk?”

“They will but don’t worry, we will take care of you; especially since you are his blood.”

“So you know him?”

“We also work for him, in fact, we are here because of him.”

“What!”

The officer came; it was interrogation time and all they wanted was the name of the person I work for.

I didn't know what to say.

“Are you really willing to sell your brother?” asked the mystery voice.

That made my answer be no one but still, they didn’t buy my story.

Maybe it’s because I’m that young.

Now because of that, one of these Detectives played with my conscience. He made me feel guilty for protecting my brother by showing me how this is going to destroy my future if I don’t say the name.

He reminded me that I have a brighter future ahead of me, that I could be what the universe has been waiting for. He really knew how to press his buttons.

Unfortunately, my lastborn brother came in as my lawyer!

“Can I have a moment with my client, please?”

“You can.”, said the detective but then he thought, “How did you know he is arrested?”

“Close the door behind you, please.”

As soon as they closed the door, I became the first to speak.

“Since when did you become a lawyer? In fact, where have you been? Do you see how much you’ve cost me?” I asked, “Just get me out of here before I shout.”

Laughed my brother.

“I hope it won’t get to that cause I have a plan." he said, "What kept me so long was because I was planting evidence somewhere else.”

“You must be joking. I was caught with evidence.”

“The station captain!”

“What about him?”

“That’s the name you gonna shout.”

Before I could say yes or no he called the detectives in right away and then the negotiation started.

“It is a fact that my client was caught selling illegal drugs on the streets. But the question is, is it possible for a child his age to sell for himself?”

“All we want is his boss, for heaven`s sake!”

“My client claims to have some conditions before releasing the name since he's afraid of his safety towards his boss.” said my lawyer, “One, he doesn’t want to be a state witness. Two, make sure he doesn’t go down with his boss and if I were you I would do so because if you don’t then he will technically be out soon since he's a school- kid and lives with his parents. So what is it going be?”

“Don’t make us feel desperate cause we are not. But, nevertheless, we are in.”

“I am working for your captain. I suggest you go and search his place before he gets the word out there.”

“Damnit! He won’t give us a search warrant unless we lie.”

“In the meantime, I’m leaving with my client.”

“I hope you weren’t lying to us.”

“Go and ask your station commander for a warrant.” said my brother laughing.

“What a lawyer you can be. Where is the car now?”

“We will get it on the way.”

On our way, I wanted to ask him about those guys I met in the jail cell but then I thought, he won't confess to me.

I am starting to fear my own brother, I feel like he's a wolf in sheepskin.

A few seconds later a car came opposite our direction. Suddenly, he grabbed and slapped me until I fell down. He then went to hide on the side of the road and when this car stopped next to me, a woman came out; trying to help me.

Unfortunately, someone came back to the scene and pointed a gun at her then told me to get in the car- I did without asking why.

On the way home, he drove at a normal speed as if it was his car. I wanted him to accelerate as I feared to be found in a stolen car after what just happened.

When we got home he gave me money and said it was my payment for the day. He left to get rid of the car while I went inside the house.

I was lucky no one saw me when I went in like when I went out, or so I thought.

A few minutes later mom came back home before my brother but I wasn’t stressed until she came to me.

“Where have you been?”

“In my study room.”

“Study room? It’s so surprising because I turned the house upside down looking for you.”

“What!” I said in shock, coughing.

My lastborn brother came in.

“I brought him home save, mom.”

“Where did you find him because he says he was in his study room, the whole day?”

“I found him in one of his schoolmate’s house. They were busy with chemical experiments. I think he's really committed to his dream.”

“Weren’t you sick? You are so brave to roam in the streets during school hours.”

I didn’t know how or what to say, but I had to say something.

“Everything was fake.” I said, “I had no choice but to fake it since no one wants to support my dream in this house. So much to be independent." I said, "It might as well be a pleasure to get a key to the outside home world and hook up with people who will support what I want not what they want. I mean I`m old enough now, don’t you think?”

Mom got shocked, so was my last born brother.

"I thought we spoke about this."

"We did. But we all had our own conclusions."

“It’s not about getting the key, my son.” Said mom, “It’s about holding it. The key you want requires independence which you currently don’t have and on the other hand, it requires responsibilities and maturity which means power to hold that key. Listen to me when I say you are young and the key is still heavy for you to hold.”

“How will I get independence if I don’t go after it? How will I know my responsibilities if I don’t learn them myself? And how will I be matured if I don’t mature myself?” I asked then said, “They say never judge a book by its cover because you might be surprised to see what`s

in it. All my life I`ve been trapped in this house with limited freedom of movement...”

“You know what, I heard enough!" she said, "It turns out someone thinks he's a man now. I will give you the key but don’t you dare, ever, in a million years, return it back because it will be too late.”

“What does that mean?”

“Do as you please, my son! Do as you please. I don’t care!" she said, "But do me a favour, I never want to hear anything about that fairy-tale dream you have in my house.”

“Thank you, mom. I’m going to make you proud one day, I promise.”