Prologue

I don't know when and how all of this happened. What I know is, I am craving for her presence. I wanna smell her scents everyday.

There's a beast inside me that wants to come out everytime I saw her.

Bakit? Bakit s'ya? Ang daming nagdaang babae sa 'kin. And that was just a game and past time. Isang gabi lamang at iba na ulit kinabukasan.

But this time is different. All I want is her and only her everyday and every night. Akala ko ang matikman s'ya ng isang beses ay okay na. Pero nagkamali ako, dahil ang isang gabi ay naulit pa nang naulit. At tila ayoko nang tigilan pa s'ya.

I want her to be mine over and over again.

I want all of her.

I want her to be mine, alone.

I wanna be serious to her this time.

But, how? If she didn't want a serious relationship with me.

Takot lamang ba s'yang masaktan dahil sa mga nakaraan ko? O wala talaga sa bokabularyo n'ya ang magseryoso kagaya ng gusto ko noon?

Pero bakit naman kung kailan seryoso na ako at gusto na ng settlement, doon pa sa babaeng katulad ko ng gawain noon? Ang hindi magseryoso, ang magliwaliw lamang at magpalit-palit ng babae sa buhay ko. Ganoon ko s'ya nakilala, at hindi ko mabago hanggang ngayon.

"Bry, I want a serious relationship with you. Let's make this official."

Tumawa ito. Sa reaksyon pa lamang niya ay nasaktan na ako. Anong nakakatawa sa sinabi ko?

"Make it official?! Nagpapatawa ka ba, Izaac? You want, what? Serious relationship?! That was the funniest joke you've ever had!" She laughed like there's no tomorrow. And that's f*cking hurt my ego.

"I am not kidding, Bry." I said in a serious tone.

"Oh... My bad, I'm sorry. I thought you're kidding." Tumawa pa ito ulit. "Okay, sorry. Izaac, I don't wanna commit to someone else. Kahit sa 'yo pa, it's a no. Kung gusto mo nang seseryoso sa playboy na kagaya mo, humanap ka ng iba. Thanks for your wonderful times, in bed."

And that's it. She walked away from me. She walked away and never looked back.

Kahit ilang beses man na may nangyari sa 'min, hindi s'ya natatakot na mawala ako sa buhay niya. Hindi s'ya natatakot kung mabuntis man s'ya ng dahil doon. Basta kapag ayaw niya, ayaw niya.

That's Brylin Audrey Grymes, my obsession. The woman who changed my playboy self into a man. And the first woman who broke my heart.

My secretary...

I am literally obsessed with my secretary...

What will happen after this? What will I do without her? Hindi ko na ata kaya ng hindi s'ya nakikita sa isang araw. Hindi ko ata kaya ang hindi maamoy ang mahalimuyak niyang katawan sa isang araw.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?!

No! I'm sure, sa una lang 'to. Masasanay din ako na wala s'ya sa buhay ko. Nagawa ko na 'yon noon, at magagawa ko rin 'yon ngayon.

Izaac Kurt Moscow never beg to girls, because girls beg on me to be with them, to pleasure them. And that's a flex! Soon, you will regret this, Brylin. I'll make sure of that.