Chapter Six

 

 

The only way out of this mess

 

Sleep is an enemy these days,

it hardly stops by where I lay -

staring at the ceiling,

heart beating in rhythm to the relentless ticking of time-

as the hands of the clock gouge my face

like fingernails made of steel.

 

My thoughts flow out in black rivers:

some get lost in the darkness beneath my eyes,

and some come back to haunt me -

words stripped of meaning clogging my veins,

making my heart stop,

choking me up

as I try to take one desperate lungful of air

before I go down,

before I lose myself.

 

The sun has lost significance-

it comes up and goes down at will,

but my world remains dark all the same.

The bed, these sheets, my heart, this pain

are all I have,

and these words -

that shatter the silence into a billion shards,

with jagged edges I could slash my wrists with.

 

But escape is not an option

and release is not going to be easy.

I am going to go someday

but the world i