Chantel
It’s Tuesday the twentieth of December, and a gorgeous early summer afternoon in Wellington, the capital of New Zealand.I don’t visit the city much, so I’m glad my sister has chosen this café on the waterfront, not far from Te Papa, our national museum. We sit at a table outside, overlooking Lambton Harbour. The water is a sparkling blue, reflecting the clear skies. At the table next to us, a group of businessmen and women in smart suits chat over a working lunch. Families and couples on holiday stroll along the waterfront, while a teenager dressed in shorts and a hot-pink vest weaves between them on rollerblades.“So,” my sister says once the waiter has delivered our meals and lattes. “Are you ready to get laid?”“Henry!” Giving an embarrassed laugh, I dart a glance at the people next to us, relieved they didn’t hear her. “For God’s sake, keep your voice down.”She helps herself to the bowl of chunky chips in the middle of the table. “Relax, girl. Nobody’s going to be shocked by someone having a one-night stand in the city.”“Maybe not, but I’d still rather not advertise my desperation.”“I thought that was the point of coming to the city. To advertise yourself?”“Well, yeah, but not via a loudspeaker. At least on Tinder, nobody knows who I am.”“That’s true.” Grinning, she dips another chunky chip in the aioli sauce and eats it. Then as she looks at me, her amusement fades, and she reaches out to hold my hand. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t tease you. I’m glad you came to me. I think it’s great that you’re doing this, I really do.”I study her purple nails, thinking about what different lives we lead. Claire has just finished her third of four years at university. She’s been working in the city for a few weeks to earn some extra money, and I’ll be driving her home to Gisborne on the east coast in a couple of days. She’s embraced the student way of life with all her heart and soul and is loving every minute of it. Only four years separate us, but sometimes I feel a lot older, almost as if we’re a different generation. She uses Tinder all the time, and I’m sure she’s had a few one-night stands.When she first suggested I d******d the app, I was excited at the thought of finally putting myself out there. I joined the Tinder subreddit on Reddit and read a lot of posts by people who’d used it to get an idea of how it works. At first, I have to admit I was surprised at how quickly conversations turned to sex. I’d expected people to take a while to sound each other out before they shared themselves in such an intimate way, but I soon realized how naive that was. Sometimes it only took them a few minutes before one of them mentioned hooking up.I thought I’d gained a good understanding of how it all worked, and I thought I was prepared. Now I’m here, though, I’m beginning to have second thoughts.But I’m not going to tell Claire that. Instead, I say, “Thanks for helping me.”“You’ve given up so much for me. I know I’ll never be able to repay you. So, helping you get a date is the least I can do.”We smile at each other for a moment. We rarely talk about it, so it warms me to hear her say she appreciates the sacrifices I’ve made through the years.“Come on,” she says, releasing my hand and taking another chip. “Get your phone out, and we’ll create your account.”My pulse immediately starts to race as I pull out my phone.“Have you downloaded Tinder yet?” she asks.“Yes, I did it at the airport. But I haven’t created an account.”“All right. We’ll start at the beginning. Hold on, I’ll come and sit beside you.” She gets up and moves around the table to take the chair next to mine, bringing her food and latte, and we huddle together, looking at the screen.Now I have to set up my profile. I input my name, my age, gender, and sexual orientation. “How much of this does the other person see?”“Only your age and your first name. It uses the other information to match you with suitable people.”“Okay.”“Now, photos. You need to pick a great one for the main page of your profile, then maybe five or six others.”“I got Mum and June to take some new ones,” I say, bringing them up. I flick through the recent collection they took of me in the garden wearing different outfits.“Oh, that’s a nice one.” Claire points to a shot of me from the chest up. I’m laughing at something June said, and my hair is up, although strands frame my face. “That jacket looks really classy, and you’re wearing red.”“So?”She winks at me. “It suggests you’re up for some fun, shall we say?”“Oh, seriously?”“Yeah. I mean, you could put ONS or FWB on your profile…”“Meaning?”“One-night stand, and friends with benefits. But most guys are going to be open to that anyway.”“Right. Jeez. I feel so old. I should have a photo of me wearing a hairnet with my teeth in a glass.”Claire giggles as she examines the photo. “Wow, your makeup looks nice. Yeah, let’s go for that one.”I choose that as my main profile picture, and then we select five others.“Okay,” she says when we’re done. “Now the bio. You only need a few sentences. I looked up some ideas for you.” She pulls them up on her phone. “You can describe yourself using only emojis.”“Can I just put an eggplant?”She laughs. “Two truths and a lie?”“Mmm…”“How you’d survive a zombie apocalypse?”“My answer to that would be far too nerdy. I’ve read every post-apocalyptic book out there.”“List your unpopular opinions?”“Too negative.”“Pros and cons? Or what about obscure skills?”“Does it mean, like, juggling?”“Well, what about listing the things that stand out about you? Not generic interests like ‘enjoys travel and good food.’ You want to put unusual, funny things that only those who have the same interests as you will recognize.”“Right, that makes sense.”I think hard and type a few sentences, tweaking them until I’m happy with them. Claire reads it and laughs. “It’s so you.”“That’s the idea. I know I’m not looking for anything long term, but it would be nice if he liked the same things as me.” I read it back, pleased it doesn’t reveal too much about me. I’m not looking to open my soul to anyone here. It does show that I don’t get out much, but there’s no point in lying and saying I travel and go paragliding. I’m pretty much confined to the house, so it’s natural that my hobbies all take place indoors.Claire slides her arm around me and gives me a hug. “Are you sure about this? You wouldn’t rather wait until you get home so you can find a proper date, and get to know the guy first?”I shake my head. “That’s not what this is about.”“If it all works out, and you find a guy, and you go back to his place… You’re not going to tell him, are you?”“Tell him what?”“That you’re a virgin?” she says softly.My eyes widen, and we study each other for a moment.“How did you know?” I whisper.She smiles. “Intelligent guess. I know you’ve never had the chance to date anyone. But I only have one more year and then I’ll be home for good. Then you’ll have more time on your hands to date someone properly. Wouldn’t you rather wait until then, and have your first time with someone you love and trust?”Claire, no guy is going to be interested in going with a virgin. It’s not the commodity it used to be. Guys want girls who are experienced and fun in bed. When I meet the right man, I want to know what I’m doing.”“Hmm, yeah, I get that.”“I mean, you weren’t going steady the first time you slept with someone, right?”Her lips twist. “No. It was at a party. You’re right, I just wanted to get it done.”“Exactly. The same for me.”Because I’ve looked after our mother full time since I was sixteen, I’ve been unable to go to university, to have a proper job, or to enter the dating game. I was determined that Claire would get to have the opportunities I missed out on, which is why, when she finishes her degree, she’s insisting on returning home to help share Mum’s care. It means I might be able to enter the dating game eventually. But when I do, I don’t want to go in blind.“So you’re not going to tell him today?” she confirms.“Hell, no. He’ll probably run a mile. I might say somet
Finally, I come to the conclusion that he’s not messaging back anytime soon. Ghosted on my first attempt. I sigh, toss the phone on the bed, grab my book, turn off the TV, and start reading. Within five minutes, I’ve dozed off. I wake about an hour later. It’s warm in the room, and I have a slight headache, but I feel a whole lot better when I look at my phone and discover I have another match, and he’s already sent me a message. His name’s Tim, and he’s the first guy I swiped right on. He’s twenty-six, a dentist, he plays Minecraft, and he likes Andrew. Oh well. Here goes. Andrew:Hey! Looks like He used punctuation and a smiley emoji. Things are looking up! Me:Yeah. You are my lucky star! Tim:LOL wot? Shit. Me:Sorry, it’s a quote from Andrew. Ripley sings the song at the end? Tim:Oh yeah, sorry, I haven’t watched it for ages. LOL cool. You into sci-fi? Me:Yes, and fantasy. Books and movies. You? Tim:Yeah, some, I like horror movies mainly. I’m not a big fan of horror, bu
We exchange a smile, and he leaves the room.I sit back for a moment, my smile fading. Somehow, he managed to sidestep the dating arena by knocking a girl up on a one-night stand and then having her turn up on his doorstep four months later, pregnant with his twins. I’m genuinely thrilled he’s found himself a girl he seems crazy about, but it’s impossible not to feel a touch of envy.It’s been a few months since I had a woman in my bed, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss sex. I don’t miss the emotional turbulence that always seems to accompany dating, though. I wish I could jump to the four-month stage and have done with the getting-to-know-you part.Sighing, I return my attention to the financial report, and I’m a good three-quarters through before I’m interrupted again by the phone on myI check the display and see it’s an internal call—my younger brother, Damon.I pick up the receiver and say, “Yo,” my standard, somewhat unprofessional greeting to my siblings.“My office
I watch a blackbird hop along the window ledge before it takes off and soars toward the park.“I wanted to wish you happy birthday,” Lily says.I lean an elbow on the arm of my chair and rest my head on my hand. “My birthday’s tomorrow.”“Oh… It’s the twenty-first, isn’t it? Shit.” She got the day wrong every year we were together.“Yeah, but thanks anyway.” I wait for her to suggest hooking up again. Be strong, Kip.“I wanted to tell you before someone else did,” she says. “I’m getting married.”I go still. Then, slowly, I sit up. “Oh. Okay.”“His name’s Henry Williams —and no, it’s not the actor, they just share the name. He’s an architect, and we’re really happy together.”“Congratulations.”“Shit, I didn’t mean to say it like that. You make me nervous.”“Why?”“I don’t know. You always make me feel as if you’re going to tell me off.”I lift my glasses onto my hair and massage the bridge of my nose. “I appreciate you letting me know, and I wish you all the happiness in
I quickly text Henry.Me:Hey bro, would you and Catie be up for dinner tomorrow? I’ve been chatting to a girl I really like who’s a bit nervous and I think it would help if we went together?It takes him about fifteen minutes to come back.Henry :Sorry, we were having a bath and then… otherMe:Jesus. Do you two ever stop?Henry :What can I say? I’m irresistible.Me:And I’m jealous.I grin, though, pleased that he’s found someone.Me:So, dinner tomorrow?Henry:Yeah, sure, if we can keep it relaxed? Catie’s keen but still nervous about eating out. Maybe we could do Red’s Rib Shack?Me:Good idea. Shall I book? For seven?Henry:Sounds great. What’s her name?Me:Chantel.Chantel :All right, see you tomoz.I call the restaurant and book a table, requesting the best one in the house. Then I message Alice again.Me:Okay, all done! Seven p.m. at Red’s Rib Shack. Do you know it?Chantel :Yes! Thank you so much. I wasn’t sure if you’d actually do it, LOL.Me:Of course! I’m excite
No, I’m happy for you to choose.”He looks at the menu. “We’ll have a bottle of the Kusuda, please.”I blink. It’s the most expensive red on the list and costs more than I’d expect to pay for a three-course meal. Is it what he’d normally order, or is he trying to impress me?“Show off,”Catie giggles, and I try not to laugh.“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Kip says.“Oh, I’m having great fun,” Saxon replies. Kip glares at him, and Andrew gives him a look that says, ‘I’m going to make your life a misery, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’“Ignore them,” Claire says to me with a smile. “It’s very nice to meet you.”“Likewise.” I gesture at her bump. “When are you due?”“End of March.” Her top bears the words ‘Make it a Double.’“Twins?” I guess.“Yeah. Two boys. Just like these guys.”“My commiserations,” I tell her, and she chuckles, while the two of them smile wryly.“Do you live nearby?” Andrew asks, leaning back and putting his arm around his girlfriend.
Red wine, please,” she says.I ask the bartender to recommend a decent Merlot and order two glasses, and we take them to a table in the corner. Chantel takes off her coat, then slides onto the cushioned bench seat, while I take the chair opposite her.The lights are low, and a candle flame dances in a jar on the table. It’s warmish in here, and Chantel pale skin bears a slight flush.She puts her purse on the edge of the table. From the zip hangs a keyring with a few charms—a red heart, an open book, and a pink bird. I pick it up and turn it in my fingers with a smile.Articles you her hand into her coat pocket, she brings out a tiny box and places it on the table. “Got you a birthday present.”My eyebrows rise. “Seriously?”“It’s only something small. It doesn’t mean we’re engaged or anything.”I point at her. “That’s fromAliens.”She laughs and pushes the box over to me. “I love that you know that. Go on, open it.”I take the box. The lid closes like a flower, and I unfurl
He rolls his eyes. “Of course I want to go to bed with you. You’re gorgeous.”I’m genuinely surprised. “Even though I’ve admitted I’ve not done it before?”His gaze drops to my mouth. “Despite the fact that this isn’t a Jane Austen novel, some would say that’s an attraction.”“What?His lips curve up. “Guys like writing their name in the snow.”“Oh my God.”“You can’t see why it’s a turn on to be someone’s first?”“No.” I can’t believe this is happening. “Have you done it before?”“Slept with a virgin? No. I’m intrigued.”“So your first time wasn’t with another virgin?”“No. She was four years older than me.”“Four years!”“She was nineteen.”“You were only fifteen!”He laughs. “Yeah. She thought I was eighteen.”“Jesus. Technically that makes her a pedophile.”He just chuckles. “Guys don’t care about that when they’re desperate to get laid.”“So you were desperate at fifteen? You understand, then, why I’m going crazy at twenty-five?”“Oh, I get it, absolutely. Of cou