I watch a blackbird hop along the window ledge before it takes off and soars toward the park.
“I wanted to wish you happy birthday,” Lily says.I lean an elbow on the arm of my chair and rest my head on my hand. “My birthday’s tomorrow.”“Oh… It’s the twenty-first, isn’t it? Shit.” She got the day wrong every year we were together.“Yeah, but thanks anyway.” I wait for her to suggest hooking up again. Be strong, Kip.“I wanted to tell you before someone else did,” she says. “I’m getting married.”I go still. Then, slowly, I sit up. “Oh. Okay.”“His name’s Henry Williams —and no, it’s not the actor, they just share the name. He’s an architect, and we’re really happy together.”“Congratulations.”“Shit, I didn’t mean to say it like that. You make me nervous.”“Why?”“I don’t know. You always make me feel as if you’re going to tell me off.”I lift my glasses onto my hair and massage the bridge of my nose. “I appreciate you letting me know, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.”“Don’t be sarcastic. You were very special to me, .Arevery special.”“So special you moved to another country.”“See, there you go again, telling me off. I wanted you to come with me. If you had, we’d still have been together.”It’s pointless to argue with her. To remind her that she made the decision to take the job in Chicago before discussing it with me. Our relationship was far from perfect, but I loved her—or I thought I did, anyway—and even if she didn’t exactly break my heart, she fractured it enough that it still bears the scar.What is it about people trying to force my hand? I’m sick of it.She clears her throat. “You wanna meet up? I’ve missed you.” I can hear the smile in her voice.Jesus. She’s marrying another guy, and she wants to hook up with me. It’s the proverbial nail in the coffin. I feel a spike of dislike, and my fingers tighten on the phone.“I’ve got to go,” I tell her. “It was great to hear from you. Good luck with the wedding.”I slam the receiver onto the unit, then yell, “Fuck!” Leaning forward, I rest my head on the desk, then bang my forehead lightly.There’s a long pause, and then my door opens, and someone comes in. I flop back in my chair and watch Andrew walk across to the desk and place a cup of coffee in front of me. In her fifties, with graying wavy hair, she’s worked for me for five years. She’s the same age as my mother, but even though she does boss me around the same way all good PAs do, we get on very well.“You okay?” she asks.“Not really.”“I’m supposed to tell you that you have an extremely important call coming from the UK,” she says, “that it might come at any time, and you can’t possibly leave the office until it happens.”“You can tell my brother I’m not going anywhere,” I say wryly. “Despite the fact that Lesley wanted to hook up.”“You said no?”“I did.”“Should I say well done?”“It was an easy decision in the end. She’s getting married.”Her eyebrows rise. “And she still asked to see you?”“Yeah.”“Jesus.”“I know. I mean, why would she even suggest it?”“A last hurrah, I guess.”“But how can you cheat on someone you’re going to marry?”“Aw,” Andrew says, “you’re so sweet.”I scowl at her.“Damon said to tell you to go on Tinder,” she says, “and find yourself a date for your birthday.”“I don’t want a date. I’m done with women.”“Oh, I think we both know that’s not true.” She pushes my phone toward me with a finger. “In this case, I think he’s right.”“I’m twenty-nine tomorrow.”“I know.”“I’m an old man.”“Practically drawing your pension. You’d better find a girl before you get false teeth.”That makes me laugh, and she smiles. “I’m off now. See you tomorrow.”“Yeah, thanks Marion. Goodnight.”She goes out.Sliding down in my chair, I pick up my phone and look at the red flame logo of the Tinder app.Dating in person is surprisingly difficult when you’re a rich guy. No, correction, not dating per se. My bespoke suits, Apple watch, expensive phone, and brand-new Mercedes C-Class Cabriolet ensure that I have little trouble getting a girl to go out with me, but it can be tough to see past the dollar signs that light up women’s eyes.It’s one reason I like Tinder. On the app, I’m not Kip Chevalier, billionaire CEO of Kingpinz. I’m just a guy, looking for a date. Despite the fact that it’s easy to lie online, I find the app a surprisingly honest way to find someone.I haven’t been on it for a few months, and I paused my account the last time I used it. I open it up and check my profile. Then I un-pause it, and start browsing.If I see a girl I like, the first thing I do is check her bio. I’m not looking for anything in particular. Just something that prompts a connection. Even a one-night stand is better when you have something in common.For a while, I swipe left repeatedly, not finding anyone who shares my interests. A lot of the women name bands I’ve never heard of, activities I’m not interested in, TV shows I’ve never seen, or contain jokes I don’t find funny. I’m not usually this picky, but tonight I’m in a strange mood.And then I see her. Alice. She’s twenty-five. Her profile photo is taken from the chest up. She’s blonde, and her hair’s up in a scruffy bun, with lots of strands tumbling around her face. She’s wearing tasteful makeup, and she’s laughing at whoever is taking the photo, revealing that her front teeth are slightly bigger, which makes her look cute. She has dark-blue eyes and a mole on her left cheekbone, and she looks intelligent and classy. She’s wearing a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a playing card bearing the Queen of Hearts.I pull up the rest of her photos. There’s a very nice shot of her in a sundress. One of her gardening. A more serious one that shows off her stormy blue eyes. A slightly older one with a beagle. And a photo of her in front of a computer with headphones around her neck. Is that a microphone behind her? Interesting. There’s also a bookshelf that holds a dozen different sci-fi and fantasy books, includingThe Lord of the Rings, my favorite book of all time.Interested now, I pull up her bio. It’s relatively short.Sci-fi and fantasy fan (books and movies). Well, that’s cool for a start.Ravenclaw. A porter nerd. That’s okay, so am I.Shield maiden of the Rohirrim. Oh, she’s a real fan ofThe Lord of the Rings.Alliance healer.She plays World of Warcraft? Saxon and I have played since university. We don’t get online as much as we used to now we’re working, but we still play from time to time. I like that she’s a gamer. It means she’s into computers, which is a big plus.Joss Stone sound-alike. I don’t know the singer, so I pull her up on Spotify and play her most listened to song,Right to be Wrong. Oh, wow. She has an amazing, husky, soulful voice.I signed up for Tinder Gold some time ago, which means I get five Super Likes a week. I tap the blue star icon on Alice’s profile. That should pop up on her phone Rainforest: A Journey Through Time in ChicagoNothing else I can do now. I’ve used the app enough to know it’s no guarantee of a match. She might not like the look of me or could already have matched with someone else. She might even be on a date now.My experience has been that for every ten or so right swipes, I might get one or two matches, and often they don’t come to anything. I should swipe right on a few more profiles to increase my chances of finding a match.But I’ve got work to do, and besides, I like the look of Alice, and I’m willing to wait to see what happens.I open my laptop, pull up a report, and start reading.I’ve only been working for a couple of minutes when my mobile lights up. I lift it and look at the message on the screen.Match! You and Alice have liked each other.I get the usual dopamine rush at the connection, and smile.Leaning back in the chair, I study the screen. I’m never sure how long to wait, but as I’m the guy, I normally message first. Fuck it. What’s the point in playing it cool?Me:Hey Alice! Looks like we matched :-) How are you doing?Chantel :Hello Kip! I’m good, thank you. That was quick!Me:I was worried some other guy might snap you up, LOL.Chantel :Ha! Thank you so much for the Super Like. I’m very flattered.Me:You’re welcome. Do you have time to chat?Chantel :Absolutely. How has your day been?Me:Yeah not bad. Busy, just winding down now. Have you been working?Chantel :No, I have a couple of days off. I’ve been with my sister today - she’s studying at Vic. I went to the cinema, too. I saw that historical drama that’s just come out. Not my kind of thing normally, but it was okay.Me:I saw in your bio that you like sci-fi and fantasy? And you mentioned being a shield maiden of the Rohirrim, LOL. You’re a big fan of The Lord of the Rings?Chantel :Oh nothing’s as good as LOTR! Embarrassed to say I’ve watched those movies about eight times!Me:Only eight? Lightweight. I must have seen them all twenty times! I watched them all in one day once.Chantel Me too, LOL. Have yet to watch all the Hobbit and all LOTR in one day though.Me:That would be fun. Maybe we should try it.I press send, my lips curving up.Chantel :Ha! The man has stamina.Me:That would be telling :-)Chantel :Oh, I see what I’m dealing with here :-)The smiling emoji suggests she’s not upset with the innuendo, which lifts her in my estimation. I like a girl who can tease me. I turn to face the park and prop my feet up on the window ledge again. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a conversation like this with a girl.Me:So here’s a question. If you had to choose one between sci-fi and fantasy, which would you pick?Chantel: Ooh. Hmm. For books, I do love epic fantasy. For movies, probably sci-fi. I’m a big Alien fan.Me:You are my lucky star :-)Alice:Aw… you don’t know how happy that’s made me.Me:LOL why?Chantel :I’m embarrassed to tell you.Me:We’re best friends now, right? Spill the beans.Chantel :Ah, I matched with a guy today. He said he liked Alien, so I said that quote, and he had no idea what I was saying, LOL.Me:Aw…Chantel:I also said you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, which also fell on deaf ears.Me:The Thing, right? Brilliant movie.Chantel :Wow.Me:Am I getting points for this?Chantel :You’ve been so great, I give you a gold star.Me:I’m better than the previous candidate, then?Chantel :Oh, you have no idea. That was a total disaster.Me:Aw that’s a shame. Well, not for me.Chantel :Me either, I’m beginning to think.MeThere’s a pause, and then she also replies with a heart emoji.Chantel :I chuckle.Me:Yeah Tinder can be cutthroat at times. I had one girl turn me down because she said I wasn’t tall enough.Chantel :How tall are you?Me:Six one LOL.Chantel :Wow. That’s fussy.Me:I thought so. I’ve also had a couple of girls say I shouldn’t wear glasses in my photos as they’re a turnoff. I guess it’s sexier to walk into lampposts and fall down stairs.Chantel:If they’ve swiped left because of your glasses, it’s definitely their loss, not yours.Me::-) So what’s the beagle’s name in the photo?Chantel:Frodo, LOL.Me:I actually did laugh out loud at that!Chantel :Haha! Sadly he died last year, but he was a sweetie. Are you a dog fan?Me:Oh definitely. I don’t have one at the moment because I work long hours, but my family has always had them.Chantel :Your bio says you’re a computer engineer?Me:That’s right. We started off designing prosthetics.Chantel :Like, replacement limbs?Me:Yep. We design the software behind myoelectric prostheses. I’m also working on a new communication device.Chantel:Like in Star Trek?Me:Ha! No, actually, it’s the text-to-speech software for an augmentative and alternative communication or AAC device. Think Stephen Hawking.Chantel :Oh, the speech synthesizer?Me:Exactly. For people who can’t speak. It’s my baby :-)Chantel :Wow, that’s so cool. It must be very rewarding.Me:Yeah, I think so.Chantel :I see you have a photo with a Rickenbacker.Me:Oh, you’re into guitars?Changwon:I know John Lennon had one..Chantel :LOL. Do you play well?Me:At the risk of sounding egotistical, not bad. Can you play?Chantel :A little.Me:And you sing?Chantel :Well not professionally. In the shower!Me:I’m now debating whether to ask if I can put that to the test… :-)She posts a blushing emoji, and I smile.Me:I hadn’t heard of Joss Stone, but I played Right to be Wrong. Wow, what a voice. And yours is similar?Chantel:Yeah, fairly close.Me:But you don’t sing professionally?Chantel:No. Not had the opportunity.Me:Shame. I’m sure you’d have done very well.Chantel:Thank you! So… am I right in guessing that you play World of Warcraft?Me:Ha! You’re the first girl to guess that from my bio. And you play an Alliance healer?Chantel :I have a top-level pally, a priest, and a druid. My fave’s the pally.Me:Do you raid?Chantel:I have done. Took down the Lich King with my guild! Haven’t played as much since Wrath, other commitments, youMe:Yeah. Life intervenes.I look at my watch. I’m tired and I need to get some work finished before I go home. But I really like this girl. I wonder whether she’d be interested in seeing me tomorrow?Me:So… this seems to be going well.Chantel:It does, doesn’t it? You’ve cheered me up, anyway.Me:I am sorry your previous date didn’t work out, even though it means I got to talk to you. Did you actually meet up with him?Chantel :Yes. Um, this is actually my first time on Tinder. I arranged to meet him at a bar, and it didn’t go well, suffice to say. But then we didn’t have a connection like this.Almost immediately, she sends another message.Chantel :I hope I’m not being too forward in saying that.Me:Of course not. I haven’t chatted to a girl like this in ages. Maybe ever!Chantel :Oh! I don’t know why. You’re lovely.I smile, flattered.Me:So would you like to meet up?Chantel :I think so.She sounds hesitant. I’m not surprised, if she’s new to the app, and she’s had a bad experience. It’s tough anyway to go on a blind date, and it must be extra hard for girls, who have the safety factor to consider.Me:I have an idea. It’s my birthday tomorrow.Chantel:Oh, congratulations!Me:Yep. I’m 29. Nearly a pensioner. Chantel :LOL.Me:My brother lives in town with his girlfriend. How about we all go to dinner?Chantel:Really?Me:Yeah. It’d be fun. And then afterward, if all goes well, you and I could go for a drink?Chantel :That would be nice.Me:No pressure. But I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and it would be great to meet you.Chantel:I’d like that very much.Me:I’ll contact him, then get back to you. Don’t go anywhere!Chantel:Okay!I quickly text Henry.Me:Hey bro, would you and Catie be up for dinner tomorrow? I’ve been chatting to a girl I really like who’s a bit nervous and I think it would help if we went together?It takes him about fifteen minutes to come back.Henry :Sorry, we were having a bath and then… otherMe:Jesus. Do you two ever stop?Henry :What can I say? I’m irresistible.Me:And I’m jealous.I grin, though, pleased that he’s found someone.Me:So, dinner tomorrow?Henry:Yeah, sure, if we can keep it relaxed? Catie’s keen but still nervous about eating out. Maybe we could do Red’s Rib Shack?Me:Good idea. Shall I book? For seven?Henry:Sounds great. What’s her name?Me:Chantel.Chantel :All right, see you tomoz.I call the restaurant and book a table, requesting the best one in the house. Then I message Alice again.Me:Okay, all done! Seven p.m. at Red’s Rib Shack. Do you know it?Chantel :Yes! Thank you so much. I wasn’t sure if you’d actually do it, LOL.Me:Of course! I’m excite
No, I’m happy for you to choose.”He looks at the menu. “We’ll have a bottle of the Kusuda, please.”I blink. It’s the most expensive red on the list and costs more than I’d expect to pay for a three-course meal. Is it what he’d normally order, or is he trying to impress me?“Show off,”Catie giggles, and I try not to laugh.“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Kip says.“Oh, I’m having great fun,” Saxon replies. Kip glares at him, and Andrew gives him a look that says, ‘I’m going to make your life a misery, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’“Ignore them,” Claire says to me with a smile. “It’s very nice to meet you.”“Likewise.” I gesture at her bump. “When are you due?”“End of March.” Her top bears the words ‘Make it a Double.’“Twins?” I guess.“Yeah. Two boys. Just like these guys.”“My commiserations,” I tell her, and she chuckles, while the two of them smile wryly.“Do you live nearby?” Andrew asks, leaning back and putting his arm around his girlfriend.
Red wine, please,” she says.I ask the bartender to recommend a decent Merlot and order two glasses, and we take them to a table in the corner. Chantel takes off her coat, then slides onto the cushioned bench seat, while I take the chair opposite her.The lights are low, and a candle flame dances in a jar on the table. It’s warmish in here, and Chantel pale skin bears a slight flush.She puts her purse on the edge of the table. From the zip hangs a keyring with a few charms—a red heart, an open book, and a pink bird. I pick it up and turn it in my fingers with a smile.Articles you her hand into her coat pocket, she brings out a tiny box and places it on the table. “Got you a birthday present.”My eyebrows rise. “Seriously?”“It’s only something small. It doesn’t mean we’re engaged or anything.”I point at her. “That’s fromAliens.”She laughs and pushes the box over to me. “I love that you know that. Go on, open it.”I take the box. The lid closes like a flower, and I unfurl
He rolls his eyes. “Of course I want to go to bed with you. You’re gorgeous.”I’m genuinely surprised. “Even though I’ve admitted I’ve not done it before?”His gaze drops to my mouth. “Despite the fact that this isn’t a Jane Austen novel, some would say that’s an attraction.”“What?His lips curve up. “Guys like writing their name in the snow.”“Oh my God.”“You can’t see why it’s a turn on to be someone’s first?”“No.” I can’t believe this is happening. “Have you done it before?”“Slept with a virgin? No. I’m intrigued.”“So your first time wasn’t with another virgin?”“No. She was four years older than me.”“Four years!”“She was nineteen.”“You were only fifteen!”He laughs. “Yeah. She thought I was eighteen.”“Jesus. Technically that makes her a pedophile.”He just chuckles. “Guys don’t care about that when they’re desperate to get laid.”“So you were desperate at fifteen? You understand, then, why I’m going crazy at twenty-five?”“Oh, I get it, absolutely. Of cou
I give a half-sigh, half-growl deep in my throat and slide my tongue into her mouth, and she inhales again, sharply this time. For a moment I think I’ve gone too far and she’s going to move back, but instead she gives a sexy little moan and tilts her head to the side to change the angle—subconsciously, I think—a move that tells me she wants more.So I slide my arms around her, and she lifts hers around my neck, and we indulge in a long, deep, luscious kiss that sends my heart banging on my ribs and makes other parts of me stir like a bear coming out of hibernation.When I finally lift my head, I’m breathless and hungry for more. Alice stares at me, the Christmas lights filling her eyes with flickering red and gold stars.“Oh my God,” she whispers, “yesterday I was close to never wanting to kiss anyone ever again. Why was that so amazing?”“Skill.” I mean it to sound sexy, but my voice cracks and comes out as a squeak, and we both laugh. I clear my throat. “Finish your drink, and I
She laughs and pushes the box over to me. “I love that you know that. Go on, open it.” I take the box. The lid closes like a flower, and I unfurl the petals. It contains a single chocolate truffle. I smile and take it out. “Happy birthday,” she says. “Thank you.” I bite it, dividing it in two, and offer her the other half. She looks at it for a moment. “I bought it for you.” “And I’m choosing to share it.” I gesture for her to take it, and she does, popping it in her mouth. “Off down the rabbit hole,” she says. I don’t quite get the reference, but I smile anyway, because she’s quirky, and I like that. She also has an amazing voice. When we first met, I was sure I recognized it, but I can’t think where from. We eat the truffle, which is rich and dark, then have a sip of wine. “Thank you,” I say, genuinely touched that she bothered. She wrinkles her nose. “Least I could do after you paid for dinner.” “Like I said, I’m old fashioned.” She smiles. “So come on then, tell me.Ali
Are you going to stay the night?” she asks. “I’ll understand if you’d rather go.” Her words seem emotionless, even cold. She doesn’t care what I do.I can’t get angry at her, because she hasn’t led me along at any point. Okay, she didn’t tell me up front that she only wanted a one-night stand, but I don’t blame her for that. I wasn’t particularly looking for more, either. She’s been very frank. I can’t really get upset because she’s treated me like a human vibrator. I should be thrilled. I had great fun, enjoyable sex, and no commitment. Every guy’s dream, right? Don’t be a pussy, Kip.But for some reason, maybe because I heard from Lesley, because of the unpleasant exchange with Craig yesterday, or because the connection I’ve had with Alice has made me realize that I’m actually quite lonely, I feel a sweep of self-pity and resentment.Then Alice moves, and I look down and see her rub her nose. I slide a hand beneath her chin and lift it so I can see her face. Her eyes shine with u
We don’t speak as the car sinks to the ground floor. There are several other people in with us, and anyway, I can’t think of anything to say. I want to blurt out my surname and where I live and tell him to call me, but what’s the point? I need to sever this neatly, because I’m sure it’ll make it easier than hanging onto hope that one day in a year or two’s time, we’ll somehow have a fairy tale ending.The doors open, and we walk into the lobby. Halfway across, we stop and turn to one another.“Thank you,” I tell him. “I’ve had a fantastic time, and you were amazing. I really appreciate you being so patient and kind.”He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you for letting me be your first.” He brushes his thumb across my lips. “Can I give you a last kiss?”I hesitate, because I know I should say no, but the word won’t form. Taking that as affirmation, he slips a hand to the nape of my neck. He’s wearing his glasses, but he lifts them onto his hair, then moves up close a