"Delancy you're not serious are you?"
"Dad I-"
"Has everyone lost their mind today?" He said walking over to the table and sitting back in his chair until he was staring at the ceiling. "Delancy, how could you even think I would consider something like that?"
I hadn't thought of it before, but I saw now that my father's pride was at stake. He worked tirelessly to provide everything he could for us and accepting help now wasn't something he was going to do.
"It was already so strange and insulting that Charles came and said that to me in my own house but now what you're saying just isn't right."
Hurt filled his voice and he seemed so stressed and frustrated. He even looked like he had aged a little over the few days.
"Dad, he can help us if I-"
"Delancy, I know we have problems, but I told you I would take care of this. There's no need to say meaningless things."
"Dad-"
"I don't want to hear any more about this!" He snapped and got up from the table before slamming the door behind him and leaving the room.
***
Everything. Everything we worked hard for was going up in flames. We were going to lose everything.
I know I said that I would be willing to marry, but I was terrified of the idea. I didn't want to marry and I didn't want to leave my father but what was more terrifying? Leaving my father or losing him?
I contemplated the situation in the silence of my room, the dark shadows around me adding to the atmosphere of emotions building inside when I turned to the curtain-drawn windows.
I couldn't lose him.
The store didn't matter, I couldn't lose my father.
Asking him to accept this help would be like an insult to all his hard work. It was like I was disregarding all his hard work and telling him he could never accomplish anything by himself.
But we needed help.
My father was never a man to beg and ask for anything, or any favors.
I'd watch him work persistently night after night, doing back-breaking work, even when the store was closed. Sleeplessly working so he could fix the smallest of things just so the store could run smoothly.
I understood the hurt in his voice and the insult he must have felt when I told him I wanted to marry his friend's son and that he had let me down to a point where I wanted to resort to that.
He was upset and hurt that he had forced his daughter to even consider that alternative.
The helplessness he must have been feeling to watch everything he worked hard for slip away.
Ruining my future, being unable to provide for me.
The regret that there was nothing he could offer me beyond the store.
The feeling that he had failed me as a father and that there was nothing he could give me in life.
I understood it all but we still needed help and I was willing to sacrifice everything.
"Delancy."
I sat up and turned to the doorway. My father stood there sheepishly before trotting over to where I was.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean anything," He said rubbing the nape of his neck.
"It's okay, I understand."
An awkward silence dragged on in the room for what felt like a minute until he approached me again.
"I shouldn't have been upset with you. You didn't mean anything so I'm sorry."
"Dad," I said pushing myself to the edge of the bed.
"What is it?"
"Please allow me to do this."
My father stared at me incredulously, unable to believe that I was still considering the offer.
"Delancy, have you gone mad?"
"Please dad, I want to make everything better," I said leaning forward until I was touching the ground. "I already understand what you are feeling, but please listen to what I have to say."
"Delancy! Enough of this nonsense!" He said heatedly through gritted teeth. "Didn't I tell you to stop thinking like this? Nothing is going to happen, so there's no reason to talk like this."
"Dad, don't you know?"
My father's expression pulled into one of confusion. My question hung in the air around us like a blanket.
"I can't allow this."
"It seems that you don't know me very well, but I'm a very selfish person."
"What?"
"I can't live in this place knowing that something can happen at any minute. I won't be able to live with myself if I know you're in trouble and I don't do anything to help you when I know I can. How can I face my friends and everyone if they knew we were in ruin? Do you see Dad, I'm very selfish and I only want this for myself."
My father looked appalled as I spoke, my words seeming to stir something inside him.
"Dad, understand. I have to save you for me. I can't live without you."
My own words hurt and shocked me but in all sense they were true. I didn't want to marry, I didn't want any of this, and I wanted to bury my face into my pillow and cry. I wanted to run to someone and tell them how afraid I was and beg for help. I wasn't strong enough to stop my legs from shaking and hiding how much I wish we weren't in this situation. But I needed to be strong for us.
From the moment my father told me about his friend's offer, I felt burdened by the decision. I knew I had to make a choice.
I was trapped and forced between two painful decisions I didn't want to take. Burdened by the fact that I could help my father or let him suffer.
Leaving my home or losing it.
Moving on to a new life or staying in this one forever.
It was all my choice, and I was suffering between the decisions.
"Delancy," he said, his tone strong and harsh, jolting me. "You have so many opportunities waiting for you. You are young, beautiful, and smart. I know there's an amazing person inside you waiting to take on the world but for now let me fix this. I'm supposed to take care of you, you're supposed to rely on me. If anything comes our way or if anything happens to me, I will take care of it, you don't need to worry. Struggling, difficulties, and problems, that's what a father is for. You're my daughter and I'm your father. This is my problem so let me take the fall."
Tears welled in my eyes and my hands clung to my father's shirt as I buried my face into it and sobbed.
It was unfair. My father didn't deserve this. He was a good person who worked too hard all his life. There was no way we were going to survive this. I was going to lose him.
"Please," I said desperately, hating the way my voice sounded weak and the helplessness I felt. "Don't do this alone."
"Delancy-"
"Please," I said stronger this time. "Don't tell me you can fix this and you don't need my help."
"Delancy-"
"Please," my voice was trembling. "I don't want to lose you. I already lost my mother. I can't lose you too." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and pulled my face away from his shirt.
I stared into his eyes with blazing determination and strength. "Let me save you this time, I can take the fall."
I couldn't say exactly what transpired at that moment but my father took the back of my head and pushed it forward until it was resting against his shoulder.
"You've already given up your dreams for me. I can't allow you to give up your life."
"Dad, you're my life. You've taken more falls for me than I can even account for. Let me do this."
"To give you away to a stranger... For what is the price of a store? Delancy, I don't care about anyone but you. Not the store, not Charles, You."
"I won't always be with you."
"I know but-"
"I'm old enough to take this step and I won't allow you to prevent me from doing so. It's my turn to pay the price, I can take the fall."
Silence filled the air as he stared at me quietly, his expression masked by the dimness of the room.
"There's nothing I can say to stop you is there?" Silence filled the air yet again as he spoke. "Delancy," the emotion in his voice was unable to be masked. "You are a very stubborn girl. Your mother would've been proud of you."
"I know."
"I can't say I'm happy with this or that I think it's right but-"
I dived forward and hugged my father, not holding back any of the tears or emotions brewing inside me.
"I know," I whispered through his tear-riddled shirt. "I know."
"Hey Delancy, do you think we should put an ad in the newspaper for the store?" "Maybe," I shrugged. "I suppose it could bring in more customers. "Yeah, I guess it could." My father said flipping through the newspaper. I slouched against the cash register, trying to pull myself together because I didn't want him to know how tired I was. The store was busier than usual today, but I felt no enthusiasm towards it even though I was glad it had reopened and was running much better than before. "Ahh yes, the newspaper!" Daniel smiled while leaning on the broom he was sweeping with. "If I could get in there everyone would know me!" My father huffed at him before flipping to another page. "Delancy, can't you see me in the papers one day!" "Yeah, the obituary." my father cut in just as the store bell rang. "Samantha?" I said realizing that she was the person who had come in. "I didn't know you were coming?" "Delancy I heard that some crazy ass is telling everyone that everything's hal
An hour or two must have passed from the time I was sitting next to the wall waiting to meet the man I was supposed to marry - or at least it felt that long to me.Knots were continuously tied in my stomach as I every strange face that passed me I expected to be him. It was nauseating and tiring to sit around and wait for him because, in all honesty, I didn't know what to expect. My father had only mentioned once that he was older than me - three years to be exact but that was all I knew."Are you the girl who's engaged to Mr. Matthau's son?"I almost didn't hear the question as a thousand thoughts stirred my head, the nauseating feeling I had worsening."Ye-Yes." I stuttered as I looked to my right at the woman in pink who had taken a seat next to me. Her face was plump and pinched but it was cheerful and welcoming, her voice nice and soothing like a mother's."I'm surprised that a young lady like you would be getting married so soon. I must say, it's quite admirable that a girl of y
I patted down the front of my dress as I vaguely looked across the room at everyone that was crossing the floor. I felt the soft silkiness of the fabric against my fingers as I tried to straighten myself up so I could look more presentable because after all, it was my wedding day.I continued gazing across the room blankly at all the people that were there, everyone looking cheerful and happy as they enjoyed my wedding reception while I on the other hand sat tautly and stared.It was extremely difficult for me to partake in anything contently because, in all honesty, I didn't know how to feel. I felt so numb and cold towards everything and everyone that I didn't even know myself. No one knew how numb I was feeling, virtually unable to feel anything. I was unable to laugh or even smile at my wedding but more importantly, I didn't feel like a bride. I didn't feel like I was married and It didn't feel like my wedding day.The tears, laughter, happiness, and overabundance of joy that surr
My eyes slowly cracked open from a gentle nudge I felt on my side before I sat up and squinted from the brightness in the room. I started rubbing my eyes until they adjusted to the light before I began noticing the unfamiliarity of the room I was in. As I looked down at my crumpled wedding dress, the reality of the day before slowly came crashing back down on me."Get up."My eyes quickly shot up to the person standing over me, his appearance grimacing and intimidating."You... I mean -""Change into something else." He abruptly said before I could gather myself."I-, I don't know where you've put my belongings," I whispered softly while tearing myself from his cold gaze.He walked away, signaling for me to follow him so I got up quickly and matched his pace.I rubbed the back of my neck as I ascended the stairs, the crick in my back worsening as I thought of the uncomfortable position I slept in on the couch.As we walked together without saying a word, I reluctantly viewed the walls
I slowly opened my eyes as I felt the morning sun shining on my face before cringing as I tried to sit up because of the pain I felt in my stomach and the area between my legs. I glanced around the room and realized that Kerrick wasn't there so I pulled myself out of bed, the sheets that barely covered my body crumpling to the floor.As soon as I made it to my feet, I went and got a towel to wrap around myself before quickly stumbling out of the room and making my way to the bathroom, my breath hazy as I remembered what had happened.As I showered, recalling what happened, I eventually had to slump down to the floor of the bath because I couldn't stop thinking about it.My breathing was heavy and flashbacks of what had happened came crashing back into my mind, the sound of the water beating down on my body fading.As soon as he began, the pain I felt was so horrible I almost fell apart. I wasn't even sure how everything had ended. My mind eventually sunk away from the mental stress be
I was folding a few items of clothing as I watched Kerrick button up his shirt, his gaze directed toward his reflection in the mirror.I couldn't help staring at his back silently because I was still surprised that he hadn't made any sexual advances toward me in the night.I turned back to the clothes I was folding when I noticed from the corner of my eyes that he was watching me quietly.I didn't utter a single word and only moved to put the clothes away before I noticed he had also moved towards the door before leaving the room.He was just too puzzling for me, his eyes too obscured for me to see the person behind them.I left the room shortly after to meet him downstairs as he gathered his things together. He was already leaving for work even though we had only spent two days together.I knew this was a busy time of year for him as his father had told me - which was partly the reason why we didn't have a honeymoon and only a few days together but I didn't want him to leave yet. Pos
I wasn't strong.I wasn't anything when I was around Kerrick except for a lingering shadow.Since the day I had married him, all I had been capable of doing was cowering and shying away from him whenever he was around. On multiple occasions, I had tried to understand him and his strange ways but my strength was always lost under his scrutinizing gaze. With each day that passed it seemed like I wasn't any closer to unraveling him as the day we'd first met and it was tiring because we were living like two strangers under the same roof.I stared over at Kerrick as I watched him meticulously put his things together for work before sighing as he gazed at me for a brief moment before going back to what he was doing.I didn't know why, but it made me heartbroken to know I couldn't do anything to garner his attention. He didn't seem to care about me in any way and as far as I could see, I did not affect his life.I had given up so much for him, gone through so much, and suffered a lot during
I paced the floor of the living room contemplating what tasks I had left to complete around the house.I was alone at home again because Kerrick was at work, so I tried my best to pass time preoccupying myself with something to do. I already did everything I needed to for the morning because it was only two of us so there wasn't much, to begin with.Three weeks went by since I was in this house, but it still felt strange being here.It didn't feel like my home but Kerrick's, so I always felt like I was intruding in his personal space whenever he was around and I was just a stranger here.I missed my home with my father. I missed the curtains, the carpets, the floors - everything I longed for back at my old house.What was worst of all was the fact I had no one to talk to.Kerrick mentioned earlier that we didn't have any neighbors. From what he knew, they were business people who traveled frequently so they were never around.I missed gossiping and interacting with everyone around me