Another thing that I am aware of is this. Abigail Higgins is a devoted follower of my brother. Since she was five years old, she has. She did, in fact, follow him around for a period of time once. He served as her savior and her prince. During the course of the conversation, those wide-eyed stares morphed into sideways glances, which were accompanied by flushed cheeks and a twitch of the corner of her mouth. Upon Charity's departure to attend college, Abigail shed tears. Would she shed tears for me?It's really unlikely. How is she doing? In spite of this, I can't help but inquire. The door to the refrigerator is being shut by Marie. You, Abigail? She is doing well. Just as every other eighth-grader is, I am completely overwhelmed with schoolwork. When it comes to a math project, I am assisting her. I make a raised eyebrow. "I was under the impression that you detested mathematics." "Yes, I do," she confesses. "Would you like to take my place?" In a hurry, I respond with "No."
When she raises her head, I find myself staring directly into her brown eyes rather than looking away. I allow myself to hold my breath for a brief moment before letting it out. Is that the case? Does Sharon...? "Is she...?" Abigail averts her gaze. "Are you dead?" Her query is answered by me. It was Marie who said that Charity had told her that. Her head is shaken in shock. That's a bad thing. In this moment, I am unable to fathom the anguish thatCharity must be experiencing. So much affection he had for her. It must be so heartbreaking for him to be so alone and so powerless, and he must be -" I interrupted her by saying, "He'll be ok." "He's no longer a young boy." Her outpouring of grief for Charity is so heartbreaking that I can't stand to keep listening to it. However, judging by the look on her face, it is clear that she did not appreciate the comment I made. Moreover, I add, "And he is not going to be by himself." As soon as she finishes her conversation with my father,
/Emily/Beginning of JuneNowFirst, second, third, and fourth. I am concentrating to calm down my breathing. In, out, in, out, attempting to make the breaths longer so that they are more tortoise-like and less hare-like, which is how they feel right now because they are racing. My palms are sweating, which causes my hands to become glued to the steering wheel. It feels almost as if I'm working with clay on my pottery wheel.Why am I feeling this way? It's not right of me. This is Noel, and he cherishes our relationship. How many times has he told me that I can tell him anything without fear of judgment? Perhaps there is some kind of link between us, like we are soul mates who happened to stumble across each other in this crazy, messed-up world that we both live in.Even more than that, he enjoys it when I chat to him and reveal to him the inner workings of my mind and heart. Because all he has to look at in his own home is ugliness. Parents who argue with each other, including a fath
/Emily/My hands are trembling. As well as in my heart. I love him. However, he believes that I would deceive him in some way. The anger tries to make its way back into me once more, but I force it down until it produces a sort of void inside of me instead. My ears are filling with blood, which makes it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else."I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Emily, but if you hadn't been intimate with anyone else than me, you wouldn't be pregnant right now. ”I feel a shiver run through my body. The central air conditioning unit? Whatever it is, it looks like it has the potential to knock me off my feet. Instead, you should shred me to bits and scatter them all over the house. I am attempting to make sense of what he is saying, and I find myself shaking my head. Trying to fight off the need to throw up by distracting myself. "How could you say such a thing? You are aware that I adore you. I'd never. I love you, Noel. ”He has a chuckle. I used to
"You'll put a hole in your father's heart. He will be aware that his tiny baby has been sleeping around and has become pregnant as a result. That you lied to sleep with a local baseball player in order to have an affair with him. Are you able to do it to him after the loss of your mother? Because you are trying to catch me in your trap, everyone else will despise you. Are you sure you want that? Do you want it to be public knowledge that you're a slut? ”I yank my arm away from him and cover my lips with the shaking palm that was previously protecting it. That is correct. I am certain that he is correct. You may expect everyone to despise you. Have I not suffered enough already?It will come down to my word vs his.Noel... I adore him, but he's never shown any interest in me. How will I tell my dad? How am I going to become a mother?"Don't be an idiot, Emily. I solemnly pledge to the deity that you should employ some common sense and get rid of it. ”I pay no attention to what he has
Towards the End of June Currently"I do not wish to carry out these instructions." They are the very first words that have come out of my mouth since I woke up this morning. Not for the first time, but I will say them again:But I'm holding out hope that they'll make a difference this time.Dad has completed parking in a parallel fashion. Although he is quite skilled at it, I've never been able to master it myself. The concept of pulling in backwards in general gives me the creeps. It's a blessing in disguise that I passed my driver's exam.After he turns off the engine and lets out a sigh — one of the many he's let out over the course of the past several weeks — he then gives his response. "Emily, it's for the best in the long run. It's possible that you can't see it right now, but it's still true. I… That couldn't have come at a better time. We can't avoid it any longer. It's hard for me to tell whether he's attempting to persuade himself or me here.Yet, considering that this was t
Happy. It’s been such a foreign word recently. But I do feel…happier. I am not yet at that point. Because of Jason and the way he makes me feel, it doesn't feel right to be happy without my mother, but I'm growing closer to that place all the time. As though I'm normal, despite the fact that it's been a very long time since I was. "I'm trying. " I shrug.Lillian comes up behind me and places her hand on my shoulder. "It's encouraging to see.""Much thanks.""At what time can you expect the boys to arrive?" Ellie asks.As I heard that, my stomach dropped. “What? You guys didn't let me know that they were going to come with us, did you? When Airlene and Marvin are here with us, everything is under control. Even though they are Ellie and Lillian's boyfriends, Darren can nearly always be found wherever the two of them are. My ex-boyfriend doesn't seem to enjoy being in my company as much as he used to. Even if I don't really understand why, I have a strong suspicion that he detests me. Wi
Everyone? It should go without saying that everyone is aware of this. In a quaint community in Oregon, not dissimilar to the one that we call home, this is how things are done. No, he did not use any kind of pressure to get me to do anything... I had feelings for him. It is accurate to say so.I had hoped that Jason would be the one to be the one to finally break my virginity. When I first met him, I was nervous, but I had the strong impression that he loved me. I was of the opinion that doing so would be the most effective way for me to express my gratitude to him for everything that he had done for me. “But—”You are attempting to have him arrested at this point, aren't you?" Ellie asks. "That is completely beyond my ability to comprehend. To put it another way, if he pressured you in any manner—"“No. No, I'm not. We are not going to take legal action against you. The scheme was devised by my dad, but I've already conveyed to him that I have no intention of putting it into action.