After our honeymoon experience which lasted for a week, my husband came to love sex so deeply. He comes for it, asks for it, and desires it now and then. To me, it became what he thinks and dreams of. It became his primary concern and objective. This made me start hating him, disrespecting him, and devaluing him. In addition to the fact that I was not a sex-loving person, my hatred for my husband because of his love and demand for sex made me feel rebarbative of our marital sex life. This made our sex unromantic. I hardly allow him to sleep with me, except for procreation or when I resolved to pity him, however, I would just lie down like wood for him and refused his kisses, and touches, 'Just sex and get out of my body,' I often told him. My hatred for him made me consider what he is not doing for me more than the ones he does. I believed that by treating him harshly he would come back to his sense and change his likeness for sex. Also, I believed that if I allowed my husband to have his way around my body, he would become bored of me, and will no longer value me or my body. Most times I feel special that he had to beg for a long before I let him sleep with me. But I never thought that there may come a time when he would no longer beg to sleep with me. I never imagined it, I thought that his position in the Church and his commitment to God would never allow him to think outside of me.
Falling ApartMy husband sat me down one day and asked me why I have come to hate him so much, and why his touch irritates me now. And I quickly said to him, 'I don't hate you, what I hate is who you have become. You no longer take prayers seriously, we hardly do our morning or night devotion. All you care about is sex, sex, and sex. If I had known you to love sex this much I wouldn't have married you,' I told him. 'But have you taken time to note that my less seriousness in prayers and devotions is a result of your current treatment towards me? I knew that sex was my weak point that was why I kept away from opposite-sex relationships. Also, you are the only one that I told this weak point of mine before we got married. I am your husband and not your boyfriend for Christ's sake. I don't cause you shame, neither do I cheat on you nor do I beat you up, maybe as a result of being drunk, after drinking with my drunk friends. We both indeed provide for this family, but I have been faithful and committed to you. Therefore, I think it is high time you reconsidered your treatment and behavior toward me. I don't think it is a crime that I love my wife's sex, after all, the Bible says that your body by the means of marriage now belongs to me and mine to you. If my mind is unsettled, it will affect my ministry, prayer, and Christian life. You have a big role to play in my life and ministry to be that man or husband that you want me to be.'I wanted to give what my husband said to me some thought, but on second thought, I decided to let it go. I resolved to make my husband think that he is not too important to me, that I don't take his admiration of my physic seriously, and that I don't care if he goes out with another woman, I believe that treating my husband this way will make him value me more, respects me and come back to his senses. However, I loved him, loved the way he admired me, loved that I was his first and had him all to myself, but I believed that making this known to him will bust up his head and he would, perhaps, take me for granted.The Story of my MarriageOne day, I overheard my husband advising someone over the phone on marriage, and he said, 'I married my friend. During our courtship, she was so sweet beyond measure. I felt like the happiest man on earth. I believed that I would never have any issues with her. The early part or time of our marriage was smooth and sweet, even though we had no money, we lived fine, comfortably, and in great hopes of a better future.At the peak of this euphoria, I become clouded with the illusion that my wife loves me so much that she will not ever be angry with me, that she would always tolerate, respect me and take me for who I am, as has been her character right from the beginning. This made me not to expect any bad, harsh, and/or negative things from her. This illusional belief, however, would have destroyed my marriage. In the sense that any bad, harsh, or negative action or treatment from her against me becomes highly unexpected, and as such always aggravates me. The foundation of the aggravation is not just the action, but because of the person it is coming from- my lovely or better still, my once lovely wife whom I believe would never be angry with me or do, or say things that would hurt me.This made my marriage go bitter and bitter daily. We started struggling for happiness, joy, and peace in our marriage, and when we do have them, they do not last long anymore, against the beginning and/or foundation of our marriage. At a point, I resolved to get out and snap myself out of the illusion not expecting anything bad or unexpected from my wife. I resolved to expect both good and bad from her at any time. This is to get myself ready so that I will not continue to misbehave and treat my wife badly in order to make her understand and love me as she used to.This is because I now know that one can change and marriage can also change because of stress, especially from the woman, misunderstanding, and too much struggle without many resources to show for it (lack of money or the needed money). The important thing is not that marriage or a person can change, but the important thing is what was done or what steps were taken to restore and keep the person or marriage together. I don't know about my wife's decision on that yet, but that is what I want to do. Hence, my friend, take it calmly with her, expect anything, and learn to tolerate and forgive her even before she offends you. Always know that she is your wife.'I was happy to hear such nice advice from my husband to his fellow man, and I believe that he has resolved to change. However, instead of my husband Solomon changing as I expected, he kept getting worse and worse. He saw me as very rude to him. He came to conclude that I do not love, value, or respect him. He began to feel very insulted and humiliated that he had to beg me and endure my insults before I allowed him to touch me. 'What is wrong that I admire my wife's body and ask for a romantic relationship from her? Don't you know that it is a sin if you can't satisfy your husband sexually as a wife? That is one of the primary purposes of marriage. When the Bible tells you to submit to your husband in 'Everything,' your sexual organs are one of the majors, this is why you submit only to your husband as a woman.To other men, you respect them, as they respect you too. To your father who is a part of your parents, you obey and honor, to your brothers you love, but to your husband, you don't just do the above mentioned, you also, and most importantly 'Submit.' Hence, why the insult and rude treatment simply because I love to make love to you, my wife. I am getting sick and tired of your nasty, insolence, and obnoxious attitude toward me. Gradually, you have become such a dictatorial, truculent, and supercilious luna-beast.' My husband said to me angrily one day, for the first time. I cried bitterly and decided to hate him because I never expected him to talk to me or treat me that way. Also, I resolved to make sure he would not have peace or enjoy me or my sex anymore. After that incident, my husband did not border to disturb me over sex again or admire me as he used to. He comes back, greets me with a smiling face, eats my food, watches the tv, reads or types book(s), browses or plays a game, and goes to bed. From night till the next day, he no longer wakes or disturbs me for sex. When this lasts for weeks, it becomes a very big concern for me. But I still can't imagine my husband talking to another woman or girl not to talk of cheating on me.My husband, even though he was the Assistant General Overseer of our Church, saw no need of hiring a secretary. This was because lots of young people loved him so much and were ready to sweep and clean his office or run an errand for him at all times. But among so many girls who showed interest to clean his office and run errands for him, he accepted only five. Two teenagers over seventeen years and three youths. He considered them honest, decent, and respectful. They knew my husband to always be happy, smart, and ever motivated, with his words of wisdom, great courage, and uplifting. However, as our disagreement gets intense, he always looks worried in the office, always thinking and being outside-minded. Each time any of these girls came into his office to clean it, they saw him looking very worried. Sometimes sleeping in broad daylight, or lost in deep thought. Several times they need to touch him after they have called him for a long time before he would come back to himself. They
My husband woke up the next day and greeted me happily with a smiling face as though we slept peacefully last night. But I was mad at him, however, I reluctantly answered his greeting, but in a way, he would notice that I wasn't happy with him. He did not even border himself, but simply said to me, 'You are not looking bright this morning. Maybe you should take a day off and have some rest. You are looking sick, see a doctor. I am going to the bathroom, I want to go and take my bath and head to the office. Maybe I should have my breakfast in the office. You are looking very weak already, I don't want to disturb you further,' he said and left the bedroom for the bathroom. I was very mad at his behavior as though nothing went wrong between us last night. I became very worried and didn't know what to think, do, or believe anymore. The next day, I went to his office, took the memory card off the camera, and replaced it with another one. I came back home and my friends were already at my h
I made my husband enjoy everything about me. Almost every night, after our night prayer, I put him to sleep with nice and romantic sex and greet him the good morning the next day with the same, sometime before our morning devotion. The fear I had previously that my husband would be tired of my body if I allowed him to have his way in having sex with me when he wants to never happen. Also, my fear that he would disrespect me and value me less never happened. Rather, becoming his friend, play, and sex mate made him the happiest man on earth, the sweetest husband I could ever wish for and he became very committed to God, to our family devotions more than ever before.I realized that I have been withholding my joy myself for treating my husband the way I did because of my view of conservative marital sexual relationships. To be honest, I too began to enjoy our marital sexual relationship. I was full of joy, peace, and happiness, and I think more of my husband whenever I wasn't with him. O
Pastor Nicolas was anxiously waiting to hear the scandal shout of Jennifer from the office of my husband, but unfortunately for him, he did not hear anything. He left his office in the Church to his private office where he waited in vain for Jennifer to show up, but she did not show up. The next day, he called her to enquire about what happened, and she replied, ‘That man is good. He is one of the men that love God if He really exists, and he loves his wife. Apart from the fact that he is the only man that has been able to resist my body, I don't like trapping such good men or dent their image,' she said.'I want to see you in my private office now, young lady. You must finish the job I paid you for,' Pastor Nicolas replied angrily and cut the call.After a few hours, Jennifer arrived at the office of Pastor Nicolas. 'What happened? You did not accomplish the job I paid you for. Are you now an amateur in this profession?' He asked.'I told you that the man is exceptional. He didn't ev
The pictures of my husband with Jennifer posted by Pastor Nicolas resulted in the immediate summon of my husband by the leadership of the Church for questioning. He appeared before them and explained himself. He told the story of the first appearance of the girl in his office when he was still the Assistant General Overseer. He then narrated why he was in a loose belt and unbuttoned shirt.'I was with Pastor Nicolas, the acting Assistant General Overseer in my office. We were having coffee and I felt a rumbling in my stomach and I became pressed. I excused myself from Pastor Nicolas who also excused himself and left my office. I went to the restroom, eased myself and I was a bit exhausted, I quickly left the restroom after flushing to go and rest in my office. Knowing that nobody was or was supposed to be in my office, I left my belt loose and my shirt unbuttoned, coming to my chair close to my office table. I felt someone's hands around my neck. That was when I got the idea that a la
Three Days laterFinally, the adjournment was over, and my husband was before the panel again. When everyone was seated and before the meeting commenced, Pastor Nicolas used another number to post the video coverage he made about my husband and Jennifer. The video started when Jennifer was holding the neck of my husband, lying naked on his table, her lips on his lips to her comment before she left his office. In the video, my husband was looking at Linda without a word in defense or support of the comments Jennifer made before leaving his office. Everyone in the panel who had his phone and was on the net saw and watched the video, those who were not online, went online immediately after they heard of it and saw it themselves. Even my husband went online and saw it too. The video threw every member of the panel into confusion, they believed that my husband was lying to defend his crime. At once, Linda was sent for. A little while later, Linda was before the panel.'Linda, you are the a
My husband could not believe what he watched Pastor Nicolas say. He wondered when Pastor Nicolas has ever advised him on the issue of women and sex or when they have discussed such. Within a few minutes, press from various media companies stormed our compound and were knocking at the gate. When the security man looked from the opening of the gate and saw them, he ran quickly to us to inform us. My husband and I went to meet with them to find out why they were at our compound.'Excuse me, Pastor, are you guilty of the accusation going viral at this moment, against you, sir?' Someone from the crowd asked.'Did you really tell Jennifer that your wife was dead to get her to bed? Why would you do that, sir?' Another person asked?'Madam, how did you feel when you heard that your husband was having an affair with Jennifer, another woman?' Someone from the crowd asked, directing the question to me.'Why are you still in this marriage, after what he did to you, madam? Why are you defending hi
The Verdict of the JudgeThe court hearing took four days, and after both lawyers debated, the Judge said, 'I know that this court has not treated this kind of case before. We are used to the case of rape, divorce, who takes custody of a child, and more. But this is a different case to a greater extent. That notwithstanding, a crime is a crime and must be punished. And when punished, others learn from it.Haven said that I have looked at this case carefully, seen the damage that the action of Pastor Solomon had caused Jennifer, the image of his Church and other pastors like him, and most of it all, the image of his family, even though his wife still believes that he is innocent; and with the evidence before me, I have come to the conclusion that Pastor Solomon is as guilty as charged.I, therefore, sentence Pastor Solomon to fourteen years imprisonment, and one year of public service after the fourth year of jail term is completed. Court!' The Judge concluded.My husband was handcuffe