Regret

Fernando's POV

"Here are the documents containing the minutes of the last meeting with Bezos construction, sir." My secretary, Miss Kim, said as she placed the heavy pile of paperwork on my desk.

"Thanks," I nodded, giving the paperwork a once over. "You may leave."

Sighing, I grabbed a pen from my locker, dragged the documents closer and began to inscribe my signature on each of them, without perusal.

My temples throbbed with an agonizing migraine that made it seem like my neck was about to snap into two.

I blamed my migraine on my unhealthy consumption of alcohol throughout last night.

I couldn't get a wink as I had stayed up thinking about my failed relationship with Bethany.

If someone had told me five years ago that I would end up regretting divorcing Helen, I would have scoffed at the person.

But now, not only did I regret chasing Helen out of my life, I also regretted reuniting with Bethany.

When she first moved in with me five years ago, we had dwelled harmoniously, to the point where I had started blaming myself for even getting married to Helen, when I could have had a blissful life like that with Bethany.

However, a couple of months later, our relationship seemed to crumble overnight.

I couldn't exactly place a finger on what it was or how it had happened, all I knew was that I mysteriously fell out of love with Bethany and couldn't take my mind off Helen.

I would have hot, sensual dreams of us having mind-blowing sex that would leave me with a raging boner when I woke up.

And when Bethany would try to relieve my hard-on, I would become irate instead of aroused.

I was glad that I didn't go through with my decision to marry her after everything.

It was as if Helen had cast a spell on me before she left, because for the past four years, not a single day went by that I didn't think of her.

Hell, I had even hired some private investigators to help me find her, but our combined efforts hadn't yielded a single fruit.

It was as if Helen had disappeared from earth altogether.

Even if I found her, I had no idea what I would say to her or if she would even want to look at me.

I had put her through hell and back, simply because I didn't want her as my wife.

I had made her feel worthless and useless on numerous occasions, even though it wasn't her fault she was married to me.

Her greedy father had offered her to me as a gift for saving his company from the brink of collapsing, and instead of rejecting his offer, I had accepted it, so that I could make her life a living hell.

And being the gentle person she was, she had bore all my wrongdoings without a squeak.

Fuck it, I missed Helen so much.

I missed those doe brown eyes of hers that sparkled with innocence and sadness whenever she looked at me.

I missed seeing her plump, rosy lips contort into a pout whenever she ate something spicy.

To sum it up, I missed everything about her and I wanted her back in my life as soon as possible.

My thoughts were interrupted by Bethany barging into my office suddenly.

She looked livid as she glared at me.

"Who the hell allowed you in here?" I barked, walking up to her.

Five years ago, I would have been elated to see Bethany in my office but now, her mere presence instilled a great dose of fury inside me.

Rolling her eyes, she retorted. "Why? Am I not allowed in here anymore? Have you forgotten that I'm your girlfriend?"

"What do you want?" I scoffed. "I have to get back to work."

"You are a jerk, Fernando!" She glowered at me. "Do you know how embarrassed I was today because of you?"

"Stop beating around the bush and say whatever it is that you want to say." I spat.

"I was out shopping with Tanya and Kelly today at Versace. And when it was time for me to pay, the cashier told me that my card declined, and I know it was definitely your doing. What the hell is wrong with you, Fernando? You have changed so much, and not in a good way." She rambled out, bunching her hands into fists by her side.

I shrugged, unperturbed as I returned to my seat.

"How much have you spent on shopping in the past four weeks?" I asked, flipping through the paperwork to see if I had left some of them unsigned.

"What are you trying to insinuate?"

"Answer the damn question, woman!" I slammed my hands on the desk as I stood up.

She seemed petrified as her gaze on me faltered.

"W-Well I don't keep tabs on that."

I chortled, nodding. "Of course, you don't. If you must know, you spent three million dollars on shopping last month, and yesterday, you went to a club and also spent two hundred thousand dollars there. Do you think I pluck money from trees?"

One of the many things I loathed about Bethany was the fact that she was a wasteful spender.

How I had failed to realize that when we first got back together was beyond me.

Perhaps, I had been too drunk in love to notice it.

"I won't allow you to speak like that to me, okay? If you are going broke, just say so instead of taking out your anger on me. How much is three million that you can't afford?" She scoffed.

"You are nothing but a leech, Bethany," I hollered. "You are a wasteful spender and I want nothing to do with you from now on."

The anger in her eyes dissolved instantly at my utterance.

"You don't have to blow everything out of proportion, babe." She said, walking up to me and molding herself against my chest.

"Get off me," I muttered, looking past her.

"Let's just settle this amicably, darling. You don't have to get all worked up over a trivial issue like this." She got on her knees and started unbuckling my belt.

The wheels in my head turned as I watched her, but I tried to remain calm.

"What are you doing?" 

"Making peace with you." She darted me a seductive wink.

"Get up before I call security to throw you out of my company." I uttered, and her hands instantly slid off my crotch.

Scowling, she yanked herself up from the floor, darted me a glare before exiting my office and slamming the door angrily on her way out.

She would probably go to mother's to report me and as usual, mother would call to reprimand me for treating a lovely girl like Bethany in that manner.

I had resolved to block my mother's number if I saw her call that day.

Then, I finished reviewing the documents and summoned Miss Kim back in to retrieve them.

Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, I retracted my phone, swiped the "photos" app open, and clicked on the only picture that I had saved in the "favorites" folder.

Helen seemed to be smiling at me as I tenderly stroked the picture, while wishing I could somehow extract her out of my phone and apologize to her.

That picture of hers had been taken at our wedding and she looked gorgeous in the strapless white ball gown.

I wonder if my brother knew where she was presently because Roman and her used to have a very tight bond until I forced Roman to stop coming over to my house, after I found out that he had bought her gifts.

Shortly after that, my younger brother had eventually gone on to travel to Italy to pursue his dreams of becoming a renowned painter.

And I hadn't heard from him since then.

Each time I tried calling him, I would be directed to voicemail.

I had read in between the lines that he probably didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, and had stopped calling him.

Roman was right when he told me that a scumbag like myself didn't deserve Helen.

But I would prove to him that I could make things right again between Helen and I.

And this time, I would never let her go.