Chapter 2

I peered into the rear-view mirror, my hazel eyes with a gold burst around the pupil peered back at me. "I guess I'm really doing this" I said aloud to myself. I sighed deeply and tried not to think of all the happy memories I was leaving behind. 

While I never felt as connected as I should to this pack, this was still my home and all I had ever known. My parents moved here before I was born. My parents were once the Betas of this pack, although my dad should have been an Alpha. He had to seek refuge at the young age of 8 years old when his Pack was wiped out along with his parents. My heart always hurt so much thinking about how much pain he had went through. 

I shook my head as if it would cause the painful memories to fly out of my brain, causing my dirty blonde hair to fall out of my ponytail and to my shoulders. This was it; I was on my way to my new pack in Illinois. 

Southern Illinois to be exact. I was going to live with my cousin, Amber. I met Amber when I was about 10 years old. She came to live with us one summer, while her parents went to Europe, and we had been good friends ever since. Amber was lighthearted and sure to be loved everywhere she went, but not in that annoying center of attention way. She was kind and light, light as if nothing was weighing on her, very optimistic, and warm.

I had several hours left of driving ahead of me. I switched the radio on, but my mind couldn't help but to wonder. Maybe, I should have taken the Beta spot years ago then maybe I wouldn't be in this position. But I didn't agree with how the pack was ran and even in that position I couldn't change anything. Plus, I would be around Alpha Joey constantly and I knew I couldn't tolerate that. Maybe this new pack would be different. 

Who knows maybe I would finally find my mate. That is such a long shot though, I have been looking and sniffing around every corner for my mate since I turned 16 years old. Some wolves never find their mate, I hope I'm not one of them. I never understood why the moon goddess would deny some wolves mates, but I guess it can simply be chalked up to some things are not meant to be.

I can't imagine searching your whole life away for someone. I guess wolves and humans both have that issue though. Always looking for the thing to make you happy. Something or someone to complete your soul.

Finding your mate is incredible or so they say. My parents used to go on and on about the intense wonderful smells, desire unlike anything you have ever know, and the feeling of complete security. From the moment the two wolves peer into each other's eyes it is like their bodies electrify... but in a good way. They bond instantly and once they mark each other they basically become one. It had been several years though since I heard their stories about mates, I believe they started to pity me when I didn’t find my mate and didn’t want to bring it up in fear it would only make my disappointment worse.  

From other wolves I have heard the sex with your mate is amazing and unparalleled, as in get ready for the most intense, toe curling, and satisfying experience of your life. But alas I had not found my mate and to be honest I was starting to believe the whole thing was just a fairytale.

Still yet I couldn't stop the hopeful thoughts of finding my mate from occupying my brain. It felt like when your little and you want nothing more than to be princess even though you know you never will be, it doesn’t stop you from imagining what it would be like. In a way it was a welcome relief to occupy my brain with the fantasy of finding my mate, as it kept me from thinking about my old home and what I was leaving behind.