Elliot POV
Looking in the mirror, I shake my head. I can’t go to the hospital. I can’t stand the smell, and just thinking about it is making my stomach turn. I can’t. I shake my head again, walking away. I walk to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee and rest both my hands on the kitchen island, trying to make up my mind. I know Theo will need me there, but he has Kill and Ash. I think I would be more trouble than help if I went there.
“Fuck”, I let out, slamming my hands against the cold stone of the kitchen island. Grow a fucking pair and move your ass to that fucking hospital. I put my boots on after drinking my black coffee, and I grab the keys to my Harley. Maybe the cold weather will help me straighten my head and make me realise I am not a child anymore and being scared of a fucking hospital is as useless as putting milk in a coffee.
I speed through the streets of New York, avoiding the traffic that is growing bigger because of all the tourists coming for thanksgiving. I don’t get why they like the fucking parade; it's the same shit every year. Yaaay, giant balloons and make pretend famous people trying to pretend they give flying fuck to other people. I have to admit that I never understood the concept of Thanksgiving, maybe because I am a sarcastic fuck that has nothing to be thankful for in his life.
I have to admit that I am a bit jealous of Killian and Theo. They have their girls and their kids, and what do I have? An underlying fuck you attitude and a need for random sex all the time. Fucking great. I always wanted a wife and kids, but time has proven to me that I don’t deserve them. What can I say? I have fallen in love before, I was a teenager and she played with my feelings.
I could’ve ended up married, but Theo got in the way, and I am thankful for that because look at him now, happily married and expecting a child with the love of his life. Can you imagine the shit show that would’ve been if I was the one married to Everly? I would’ve been married to the girl my best mate was in love with. Fucking fantastic. But thankfully, it didn’t happen, and I was left alone again. We barely spend time together now because they all have their families, and I don’t want to intrude.
When I arrive at the hospital, I stop the bike and take my helmet off. It’s fucking freezing today, and I freeze in front of the hospital, looking at the door. Come on, Elliott, you pussy, move your ass and get inside. Go check how your friend is doing. Go check if she is okay. If she has given birth already.
I walk into the hospital, and I try to breathe through my mouth. I look like a fucking fish out of the water breathing with my mouth open. I close my eyes, resting my back against the wall, and I rest my head back.
I take a deep breath, and the smell hits me like a ton of bricks, and I feel nausea appearing. I close my eyes. “Elliot baby, come on, we need to go see your mummy”, Aunty Stella says as she holds my hand and pulls me into the hospital. I am six years old, and I hate it here. Mummy is sick, very sick, and she can’t even come home so I have to come and visit her here.
“Come on, Ell, she will be so happy to see you”, aunty says but when she opens the door, we saw the doctors doing something on her. They are all shouting, the machines are beeping loudly, and a nurse rushes us out of the room.
“What are they doing to my mummy?” I ask, and Aunty Stella starts crying, holding me close to her. She wraps her arms around my body, and she cries. I can feel her entire body shaking, and I don't understand what is going on.
I open my eyes, and I notice I am breathing heavily, and there’s a girl looking at me. “Are you okay? Do you want me to go get the nurse?”, she asks me. I look into her eyes, and I shake my head, trying to steady my breathing, but my head is spinning, and I end up sliding down the wall and sitting on my ass, breathing like I am lashing oxygen. Fucking great. I am behaving like a fucking child in front of a girl, and the way she is looking at me is making my heart beat faster.
“Deep breaths, come on, inhale in six, come on, one, two, three, four, five, six”, she says while I inhale. “Hold it in in four, one, two, three, four”, and now exhale in five. “One, two, three, four, five”, she says, we repeat it a couple more times, and my breathing goes back to normal, but the sickening feeling in my stomach doesn’t go anywhere. Hate this fucking place.
“Feeling better?”, she asks as she offers me her hand to help me stand up. I take it, and when I touch her skin, my entire body reacts to her warmth, she is beautiful, and her skin is soft to the touch. I clear my throat and pull away while she smiles at me. She looks kind and collected, while I look like a fucking mess right now.
“Thanks”, I say, and she nods her head, telling me I have nothing to thank her for; she knows how panic attacks feel as she has some sometimes, but hospitals keep her calm. Just great, my polar opposite. She likes this place, while I hate it with every fibre of my being. How is that even possible?
“I have to go, thanks again”, I say as I walk away from her, and I start being myself up almost straight away. I didn’t have to be so rude to her, but I didn’t show weakness in front of anyone, especially in front of girls. Argh.
I get to the room I was told Everly was going to be in, but there’s everyone but her.
“Hey, congratulations, mate”, I say as I look at the little bundle of joy in his arms, but I realise everyone is looking like something bad happened.
‘What did I miss?” I ask, and Theo shakes his head, and Kilian taps me on the shoulder, guiding me outside. I follow him but not before looking back at my best mate as he falls in pieces.
“There were some complications during the birth, she lost a lot of blood, and they had to rush her to the theatre”, Killian says. Fuck. I can’t deal with this. I can’t.
“She is okay now, she is in the recovery room, but they had to remove all her reproductive organs. She won’t be able to have more children”, Killian says and I take a deep breath feeling the relief take over my body as I relax. I understand how bad this is, but at least she is alive.
Hazel POV“Hey, mom”, I say as I close the door behind me. Mom has been in the hospital for the last three months. I am still trying to figure out a way to pay for the bill because her insurance sure as hell doesn’t cover the stay she needs. “Hello, my love”, she says, smiling. She has a little more colour to her face today. Her eyes scan me as I take my coat off, revealing my waitress uniform. My washed-out yellow dress with the blue apron on top. She scrunches her nose, and I giggle. “I know, mom, but I need the money”, I say before sitting on the edge of her bed. I have always been close to my mom, and having her here is slowly killing me. I would do anything to swap places with her if I could. She used to be the life of the party. She would dance and speak loudly. I miss having her put loud music in the flat and dancing in the middle of the kitchen while she cooked. “How have you been, baby?” she asks as she rests her hand on top of mine, offering me a small smile. We go on an
Elliot POV“How are you feeling sweetheart?”, I ask Everly as soon as she looks at me and smiles. Her eyes are not as shiny as they used to be and I can tell that she is tired as fuck. I bet she is. She just expelled a child out of her body but to be honest, it was way past the time for the little shit to be born, she had given him the eviction notice weeks ago and he wouldn’t budge. “I’m doing okay, just a little tired”, she replies, and I nod my head kissing the top of hers before I look back at Killian that is looking like he could kill someone right now. Just fucking brilliant. What the fuck happened now? Why do I have a feeling that shit hit the fan, and it will be me dealing with whatever it is that happened?“What now?”, I ask as Killian nudges me to go outside. When we are in an empty corridor he takes a deep breath crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You know I wouldn’t ask…”, he starts and I raise an eyebrow eyeing him up, “Okay, I need you to go to Chicago, I need y
Hazel POVAs I arrive in Chicago I know there will be someone waiting for me at the airport. They always send someone to keep an eye on me so I don’t do “anything stupid”, as Pavlov says. I roll my eyes as I see a large bearded man holding a sign with my name. I walk to him and he grabs my carry-on without even looking at me properly or saying anything. “Hello to you too”, I say under my breath as I follow him and there’s another large man outside a Bentley with the door opened. They both signal me to get inside and I do as I am told. I slide into the back seat of the car and I look in awe. This is amazing. I have never been in such an expensive car before. This is absolutely stunning. The seats are covered in leather and it smells new, you know the fresh new car smell. I take a deep breath before the two gorillas get in the car slamming their doors shut. Charming. I sit back and look out of the window while they drive without making a sound. I roll my eyes and decide that annoying
Elliot POV“Mr O’More”, the pilot says as soon as I walk up the steps to the private jet. “Hey, O’Malley”, I say, shaking his hand. He has been our pilot for over ten years now. He is a lovely lad; he keeps to himself and tries to get the girls to do their job without disturbing us. I am not going to lie that sometimes I like I mess with them. I guess we all did, they are all extremely attractive, and I bet Killian and Theo already had their fun with them as well. “Elliot”, One of the girls says as I take my seat and put the seat belt on. I smile at her trying to remember her name but it’s blank. I can’t even remember what letter it begins with. “Hey, doll”, I say as she smiles and moves her fingers lightly up my legs to check on my seat belt. I smile at her, and I can see that her cleavage is bigger than normal. Is she trying to get on with me? Not gonna lie, I won’t mind a little oral play before I land, but I have so much work to do that it’s killing me already.“Can I do anythi
Hazel POV“Come here, darlin’”, I hear a man call out to me. I shake my head slightly, but I walk to him. I know better than to cause a scene in this kind of environment. I know better than to disobey the man in these meetings, they are all dangerous, and although I like to live dangerously, I still like actually to live.I walk to him slowly, and he places both his hands on my hips, making me gag. I close my eyes, trying to avoid a scene of me puking all over him. His hands feel wrong touching me. The cute guy, all of a sudden, stands up with a gun in hand, and I try my best not to gasp in horror. It’s not that I have never seen a gun before, because I have, but no one has ever pointed at someone to defend me. “Our present has arrived, gentleman”, the guy says, and I swallow my tears and the bile that has risen from my stomach into my mouth. “Leave”, he says with the most dangerous tone I have ever heard in my life. His entire body is positioned in the way of power. I nod my head, a
Elliot POV“What’s your name?”, She asks as I watch her. She is comfortable around them. I close my hands into fists inside my pockets as I try to control myself and not pull her away from them and take her to my room. I watch as they behave protectively over her, they are definitely her bodyguard. I just would like to know who she is in their hierarchy. Who she belongs to. I know I am playing a fucking dangerous game.“They know”, I tell her as I notice both men watching her again. As if they are scared she will say or do something incriminating. “I’m Hazel”, she says with the sweetest voice I have ever heard. She looks at me with very ints eyes, and I swear she wants me to stay with them, I know she asked me to join them, but I wouldn’t be able to. I can’t fraternise with the fucking enemy, even though both my mates are married to women from different factions. “Stay out of trouble Hazel, I might not always be around”, I say, I walk away before she even has time to reply. I decide
Hazel POV“Hey, mom”, I say as I kiss the top of her head. She opens her eyes slowly and offers me a small smile.“Hello, love”, she says as she tries to sit up on the bed. I help her up, pressing the button to raise the head of the bed, and she smiles, pulling the blanket higher.“How are you feeling?”, I ask as I pull out the carton of orange juice from the plastic bag and some cupcakes. Mom smiles, watching me. I pour some juice into the plastic cup for her, and she grabs it with shaky hands.“I am tired”, she says, leaning back on the bed and resting her head against the pillow. I sit at the end of the bed and watch as she forces herself to keep her eyes open. “Mom, you should rest”, I say, and she shakes her head, watching me. She offers me her hand, and I take it. Her skin is pale and cold. I stand up, grab another blanket from the end of the bed and cover her. She smiles, thanking me. “How was work?” she asks, and I smile. It’s not every day that I have a good day at the dine
Elliot POV“If she is worth it, we will make it happen” keeps playing in my head. I decide I need to find out of she is worth it. I walk into my office, and I sit behind my desk as I start typing away on my desktop. I look between the three shared screens in front of me at the information I start retrieving. I can’t find Hazel anywhere. I put the information from the hospital on the search, her connection to the Russians. I have been searching for hours, and frustration takes over as I move my hand throwing all the contents from my desk on the floor, leaving only my desktop there.I stand up, passing my hands through my hair as I walk to the window of my penthouse. I cross my arms in front of my chest as I watch people crossing the road to head to central park. I close my eyes momentarily as I take a deep breath. I walk to the bar area I have in my house and pour myself a tumbler of whiskey, and go back