“ I've wanted it since the day I laid eyes on you.
It doesn't take long for me to take your lips to myself. It feels weird, well, I don't know how to describe it, the only thing I know is that I feel light. Your lips are so soft. I suck on his lower lip with a desire I don't know, as I wrap my hands around his neck, and at the same time I feel his hands play with my hair. The kiss intensifies, and he presses my body between the door, behind me, his hand that was playing with my hair goes down my waist, and... Suddenly I feel someone hitting my shoulder hard.
— Will, wake up! I want to borrow that yellow watch...
I open my eyes with difficulty, I'm not on the recording set. I am in my room. You mean it was all a dream ? I ask and look at my sister, who looks at me without understanding anything.
— What did you dream about? — she asks me with a cynical smile plastered on his lips.
— Nothing, I didn't dream of anything!
Lyn watches me closely.
— If you haven't dreamed of anything, why are you like this? — asks and points down, I see that my body is uncovered, and I realize where it points, my underwear.
— And just a morning erection, no big deal. Shouldn't you be in your room?
She gets up, goes into the closet. I sit on the bed and read the messages on my cell phone. It doesn't take long for you to come out of the closet with the watch.
— If it was a morning erection, why were you moaning? – she asks, and I look at her, I take the pillow and throw it, she runs away and smiling as always.
[...]
“It was just a dream!”
I repeat it as a mantra all the way to the recording set, as well as taking a deep breath. It doesn't make sense, why am I thinking about it? Repeat, Will... He's a guy, and you like girls! I stop at the light and watch the traffic in front of me, and the image of Nate 's mouth comes back to my mind. I hit the direction. What's with me? I already know I need music to forget this nonsense. I connect my cell phone, and the first one that plays is a song that is present on the soundtrack of the series, the lyrics are too beautiful.
Maybe it's because you met me by chance,
Maybe we're together by accident,
Is that it, or maybe you've never experienced this feeling,
And I also didn't know what it was like ....
Humming the chorus I realize the lyrics aren't helping, and I think about him again.
[...]
Recordings continue to go well. Ever since I had that weird dream about Nate , I've avoided being so close to him, when we go out I usually invite someone from the cast, although he's asked me if it's okay to go out alone, and I've declined. I know this isn't the first time this has happened to me, I've been excited for a guy before, but I avoided any contact with him as much as possible. It was when I was in school, it's been a while, and to forget about that madness I started dating a beautiful girl, who was in love with me, and soon after that that enthusiasm passed, although I suffered a little because I was attracted to her. by a boy. Thinking about it, maybe dating a girl is a good option, but if I start dating someone now I'll have problems with the network, after all BL actors can't date when they're under a current contract. The fujoshi
needs to be fueled by a possible romance between the actors, at least that's what I hear in this niche. Even if I think it's wrong, it won't change overnight.It 's been a few weeks since I went out alone with Nate , I've even avoided giving him a ride, however, that hasn't helped, I keep thinking about him, and the dream. The worst thing is that the recordings of episode 5 are very close, and that's exactly what has also been tormenting me, the script I received describes several scenes, including a kiss at the end of the episode. Walk to the parking lot , get out before everyone else. As I approach the car, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around, and try not to show my discomfort, but I don't think it works out too well.
— Wow, you seem annoyed with me! — Nate says as he watches me closely. — Will, if I've done something to you, please be honest and say it!
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. So he's asking me that? I'd like to see his face if I said I avoided him, because I had a very different dream about him, and I still woke up stiff. What would his reaction be?
— No need to worry, you didn't do anything to me… — Is it just me, and my desire to kiss you in a dream, or in reality? Will, please, you're in front of him!
— I thought I said something you didn't like, I feel like you're distant, you seem to want to avoid my presence, and… — I want Nate .
— I'm not avoiding you, I'm just a little too tired! — I think I need to go now...
— Wait! How about we have dinner tomorrow at my place?
— At your house?
I avoided him for a long time, and he invites me to his house for dinner… What do I do?
— Yeah... In my house! My mom wants to meet you, and...
— Does your mother want to meet me? Why?
— Because I always tell her about you, and she said it's about time I met my boyfriend! — says, and smiles in a very mischievous way, while I almost feel sick.
— What?
— I'm sorry, that's what she calls you... At first, I didn't really like it when she said 'Where's your boyfriend?', but now I think it's amusing. — I hear that, and I feel happy to be leaning against my car, without it here I would have fallen backwards.
[...]
WillI couldn't come up with a plausible lie to convince Nate that he couldn't meet my "mother-in-law". So at the appointed time, there I was, in front of his door, holding a bottle of French wine on one side and insecurity on the other. Before I ring the doorbell, the door is opened by a woman apparently middle-aged, with shoulder-length hair, round face and slanted eyes like mine. She smiles happily at me.— You're punctual, I'm glad you came!— Thank you! I brought this wine, I don't know if you like it...Nate 's mom invites me in, and makes me extremely comfortable. She is so cheerful, affectionate, it's no wonder he talks about her t
WillI take a deep breath as I lay my head on my pillow. My night was intense. It started with an amusing moment during dinner, and ended with a very unpleasant situation in Nate 's room .“What's going on here ?”, that sentence sounded so accusatory, as if we were doing something very bad. Okay, that I was caressing your face, but I guess friends can do that, or can't they? I know I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him, but I didn't. The problem is that we were surprised by someone I didn't know was still a part of his life. Your girlfriend.Her presence took us by surprise, I quickly removed my hand that was caressing his face, and we both sat on the bed, the girl looked enraged, bu
WillDuring the rest of the day we shot a lot of scenes, we had a few breaks, but Nate didn't say anything else about what we talked about, or what was causing the fuss. So I thought it best to leave it all alone.Confused, confused, confused. That word doesn't get out of my head, as soon as the day's recording ends, everyone heads to the parking lot, I say goodbye to everyone, and I stare at Nate who looks at me in a strange way, he seemed to want to tell me something. I turned around and opened the car, and I heard his voice from the other side of the vehicle.— Will, can you give me a ride? — His request takes me by surprise
WillWhat I find when I look at him is nothing but sweetness. I watch her mouth closely and an uncontrollable urge to taste her takes over me. His lips look very kissable to my eyes, extremely inviting. Will, you need to control this insane desire, you are not Wanchai, and he is not Thirasak. I can't, it's stronger than me, I approach him a little, shortening the small distance between us even more, he continues to stare at me as if he's been waiting for me. I bring my face closer to his, and before I take any action, my phone rings.I reach into my pocket for it, and Nate quickly unbuckles the belt. I look at the viewer, “my father”. Before I say a word, he steps forward.—
WillI argued with my sister over her insistence that I'm in denial. I spent the night thinking about what he said, and I came to the conclusion that I was an idiot in the past, and out of fear I didn't experience that "possible relationship" during the end of high school. But and now? How do I feel about my co-star? Is it just enthusiasm? Is it the closeness that makes me think of Nate differently?I don't know what I feel for him, but I know that being by his side makes me very happy. Every time I make him smile, it makes me feel light. Hearing his voice telling funny situations from his life while having dinner is perfect. I observe every detail of her face that makes me enchanted, her eyes are an intense brown, and they look at me with an expression of happiness. He smiles when he hears me say any nonsense, and it infects me, sometim
Will— What? Did you dream about me?— Did I say that? It's not me...— You did, but… — Before I finish my sentence, his phone goes dead, and that unbearable sound echoes in my ear. There's no way Nate could have hung up the phone in my face!I really can't believe he did that. Tried calling back but the phone seems to be off, won't ring. If I was already shaken, I was even more so after his confessions. What does he want? Drive me crazy or something? He said he dreamed of me, and maybe he was embarrassed by what he said, or by the dream?
Will“Mom, I...”My breath quickens, I open my eyes and realize that it was all a dream. I sit up in bed, my breathing still rapid. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. A feeling of frustration washes over me. It's not possible that this was all a dream, it was so real! My fingers touch my lips, I close my eyes and the whole scene plays out in my mind. If I keep having dreams like that, I'll go crazy.I leave the dressing room straight to the recording set. I walk there with great anxiety, we will record the kiss scene, and the kisses we exchanged in this last dream don't leave my head. I arrive on set, and the scene takes place in Wanchai's room, and Nate is sitting on the bed talking
WillThe kiss scene was re-shot four more times, P'Tan looked dissatisfied and wanted multiple angles of the kiss, Nate didn't complain, and I didn't. But the seemingly desperate, wild way it took my mouth ended up leaving marks, my bottom lip bruised and a little swollen. Despite that, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed the feel of his mouth touching mine, I maintained enormous self-control. Congratulations, Will!I left the set, looking for some ice so it wouldn't swell even more. I walk down the long hallway until I reach the dressing room door. In the corner there is a fridge, I open it and there is no ice, I ask the makeup artists where there is ice, and one of them tells me I should look for the cafeteria, or the production room. I leave the dressing room, and I almost bump into the person who wanted to devour my mouth.