I take a deep breath as I lay my head on my pillow. My night was intense. It started with an amusing moment during dinner, and ended with a very unpleasant situation in Nate 's room .
“What's going on here ?”, that sentence sounded so accusatory, as if we were doing something very bad. Okay, that I was caressing your face, but I guess friends can do that, or can't they? I know I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him, but I didn't. The problem is that we were surprised by someone I didn't know was still a part of his life. Your girlfriend.
Her presence took us by surprise, I quickly removed my hand that was caressing his face, and we both sat on the bed, the girl looked enraged, burst into the room like a rocket. Nate got up, and then looked at me quite embarrassed by the girl's attitude. Seeing his reaction, I got up and stood there not knowing what to do.
— Do you need all that desperation to get in here? — Nate spoke as she gave me a very nasty look.
— Since when do I need an invite, or measure the way I get into my BOYFRIEND's room? — She put a lot of emphasis on the word boyfriend, and made a point of looking at me as she spoke.
— You're so wrong, that's not the way to get into my room, and you're still screaming, doing this whole scene in front of Will? You are wrong, yes!
Before she could answer him, Nate's mom came into the room to try to defuse the situation.
— What's going on? Mali, I told you that Nate was texting Will, did he need all that? — hearing this, the girl stares at her mother-in-law with an unfriendly look.
Nate 's girlfriend was unusual, I didn't expect to meet her, in fact I always thought he had ended the relationship, he never mentioned her. The way she looked at her mother-in-law, and me, was not good at all. I left with a strange feeling, as if I had lost something.
[...]
The road to the recording set is long. Memories of the night I had come to my mind. The anger on the girl's face, Nate's embarrassment , and the confusion of feelings that invaded me from my departure, until I fell into a deep sleep. My mind is confused, I feel something very strange, I don't know what it is, but I know I didn't like seeing him with his girlfriend. We spent part of the day filming at Chulalongkorn University , which will host most of the series' scenes. I feel like there's something with Nate , he seems to want to talk, but we haven't had a chance.
The days went by, he didn't bring it up, and I didn't. But I've noticed something about him, he's always sleeping around corners, he sits anywhere and he sleeps, even if he's uncomfortable. I decided that I should present him with something so we could forget the awkwardness that had settled between the two of us. As soon as I got to the set, I looked for him. He was lying under a small mattress, very uncomfortable, in one of the rooms at the university.
Approaching him, he sleeps soundly. It looks so fragile, so innocent … His mouth is once again inviting to my eyes. I bite my lips as I watch. What is it? I shake my head in denial. I move even closer, and I bend down, I lightly touch her face, her skin is so smooth. I lightly caress his arm in order to wake him up, but to no avail. I swing your arm and call your name.
— Nate , wake up! — He continues to sleep. — Nate , wake up! I call louder, and swing his arm harder.
— What is it? — he asks, and slowly opens his eyes, gets up, sits down and looks at me without understanding what is happening. — Oh, is that you? We're only recording in an hour, why did you wake me up?
— Sorry, it's because I wanted to give you something... — I say, and I deliver the package to my side.
— What is it?
— Open it... I think you'll like it!
He opens the package, and stares at me confused.
— I know it seems strange, but I see you always sleeping here in the corners, at least now you will have a collapsible chair, which you can assemble to sleep wherever you want, and it will be more comfortable...
— Wow… I liked the present! He quickly gets up , sets up the chair and sits down, and looks at me with a smile on his lips. — I really enjoyed it, thanks!
— I'm glad you liked it! — I say, I get up to let him sleep some more, but he holds my hand. Something so silly, but feeling your hand holding mine makes me a little apprehensive. I meet his gaze, which seems to be pleading for something.
— Will, wait! I need to talk to you. — he says, lets go of my hand, and I go back to crouch and sit next to him. — I think I owe you an apology, since that day I haven't been able to talk to you, and I haven't had the courage to bring it up either...
— Alright , I understand...
— It's not alright. I felt very embarrassed. I don't think you deserved that whole scene, and I barely had a chance to accompany you to the building's parking lot, and I also thought you were mad at me!
— Nate, I wasn't mad at you. I thought you were upset, so I thought I'd give you space. Don't worry, I understand your girlfriend, her reaction is normal, I think it can't be easy for her, you don't have time to see her, but you walk with me to different places, and...
— No, but even so, Mali didn't need to make all that fuss. We weren't doing anything, and besides , long before everything else, I asked for a break...
This is one of those news that takes you by surprise, I don't know why, but I wanted to smile.
— Wow, what a good ... I mean, what a pity! But what happened? Was it because of the series? I ask, even though I know I don't have the right to ask about it, but I need to take advantage of the fact that he's available to talk about personal matters.
— No. Our relationship was frayed, so I asked for some time to evaluate how I feel, but it hasn't helped, I think I'm more confused...
— Confused, why? — My question was too direct. He looks at me in a strange way, as if he's afraid of something, or maybe he doesn't want to say the reason for his confusion. — Sorry if I sounded intrusive!
[...]
WillDuring the rest of the day we shot a lot of scenes, we had a few breaks, but Nate didn't say anything else about what we talked about, or what was causing the fuss. So I thought it best to leave it all alone.Confused, confused, confused. That word doesn't get out of my head, as soon as the day's recording ends, everyone heads to the parking lot, I say goodbye to everyone, and I stare at Nate who looks at me in a strange way, he seemed to want to tell me something. I turned around and opened the car, and I heard his voice from the other side of the vehicle.— Will, can you give me a ride? — His request takes me by surprise
WillWhat I find when I look at him is nothing but sweetness. I watch her mouth closely and an uncontrollable urge to taste her takes over me. His lips look very kissable to my eyes, extremely inviting. Will, you need to control this insane desire, you are not Wanchai, and he is not Thirasak. I can't, it's stronger than me, I approach him a little, shortening the small distance between us even more, he continues to stare at me as if he's been waiting for me. I bring my face closer to his, and before I take any action, my phone rings.I reach into my pocket for it, and Nate quickly unbuckles the belt. I look at the viewer, “my father”. Before I say a word, he steps forward.—
WillI argued with my sister over her insistence that I'm in denial. I spent the night thinking about what he said, and I came to the conclusion that I was an idiot in the past, and out of fear I didn't experience that "possible relationship" during the end of high school. But and now? How do I feel about my co-star? Is it just enthusiasm? Is it the closeness that makes me think of Nate differently?I don't know what I feel for him, but I know that being by his side makes me very happy. Every time I make him smile, it makes me feel light. Hearing his voice telling funny situations from his life while having dinner is perfect. I observe every detail of her face that makes me enchanted, her eyes are an intense brown, and they look at me with an expression of happiness. He smiles when he hears me say any nonsense, and it infects me, sometim
Will— What? Did you dream about me?— Did I say that? It's not me...— You did, but… — Before I finish my sentence, his phone goes dead, and that unbearable sound echoes in my ear. There's no way Nate could have hung up the phone in my face!I really can't believe he did that. Tried calling back but the phone seems to be off, won't ring. If I was already shaken, I was even more so after his confessions. What does he want? Drive me crazy or something? He said he dreamed of me, and maybe he was embarrassed by what he said, or by the dream?
Will“Mom, I...”My breath quickens, I open my eyes and realize that it was all a dream. I sit up in bed, my breathing still rapid. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. A feeling of frustration washes over me. It's not possible that this was all a dream, it was so real! My fingers touch my lips, I close my eyes and the whole scene plays out in my mind. If I keep having dreams like that, I'll go crazy.I leave the dressing room straight to the recording set. I walk there with great anxiety, we will record the kiss scene, and the kisses we exchanged in this last dream don't leave my head. I arrive on set, and the scene takes place in Wanchai's room, and Nate is sitting on the bed talking
WillThe kiss scene was re-shot four more times, P'Tan looked dissatisfied and wanted multiple angles of the kiss, Nate didn't complain, and I didn't. But the seemingly desperate, wild way it took my mouth ended up leaving marks, my bottom lip bruised and a little swollen. Despite that, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed the feel of his mouth touching mine, I maintained enormous self-control. Congratulations, Will!I left the set, looking for some ice so it wouldn't swell even more. I walk down the long hallway until I reach the dressing room door. In the corner there is a fridge, I open it and there is no ice, I ask the makeup artists where there is ice, and one of them tells me I should look for the cafeteria, or the production room. I leave the dressing room, and I almost bump into the person who wanted to devour my mouth.
WillThe feeling of emptiness still settled inside me, Nate's words echoing in my mind. "I'm straight, I'm straight!", "I was always sure of that, but now... No, it's wrong!", and it makes me think about so many things, everything I believed before, his speech is the same as mine, it was... I don't believe it anymore. I remember my older sister, Sunee, who once told me how hard it was to accept that she liked girls, how wrong she thought she was, and how liberating it was for her when she was finally able to experience her love.I can't lie, I've lied before when I was interested in a boy in the past, I'm not that 17 year old anymore, four years have passed, I feel a slight reg
WillThe argument with my parents made me more vulnerable. My night was terrible, their words hurt me, I thought about so many things, about my sister Sunee, about my acting career, about the series, about my character, and especially about Nate. I walk slowly, I feel like I'm dragging myself to the dressing room, I think I should have stayed home.— Good morning, girls! I say, the girls smile, and they all answer me, I sit down while one of them takes care of my skin. She looks at me, stops, and speaks.— What 's? You're always smiling, you look downcast!— It's nothing, I'm just a little tired! — As I say this, someone enters the dressing room, greets people, and I