I couldn't come up with a plausible lie to convince Nate that he couldn't meet my "mother-in-law". So at the appointed time, there I was, in front of his door, holding a bottle of French wine on one side and insecurity on the other. Before I ring the doorbell, the door is opened by a woman apparently middle-aged, with shoulder-length hair, round face and slanted eyes like mine. She smiles happily at me.
— You're punctual, I'm glad you came!
— Thank you! I brought this wine, I don't know if you like it...
Nate 's mom invites me in, and makes me extremely comfortable. She is so cheerful, affectionate, it's no wonder he talks about her time with great affection. In her speech, you can see how proud she is of her only child, and how much she must have struggled to raise him alone. The dinner was delicious, along with the conversation, I never smile so much at a family dinner, Nate 's mother told some of her son's adventures, and also told in detail, in an amusing way, how she received the news that her son would act in a BL, with that, he asks something.
— What do your parents think of all this? — I hear her question, stare at her, and my smile fades. But she seems to know something is wrong. — Do they not accept your profession, or do they not know that you are acting in a BL series?
— Both. They never accepted the fact that I studied acting. I took the course hidden from them. I had to invent a lot of lies to get the role in the series. They know I'm acting, but they don't know the show is a BL drama.
— Have you tried telling them? — Nate asks interested.
— Not yet, I think I'll tell you when the first trailer comes out. They won't be able to stop me, the series will already be practically all recorded, they won't have anything to do...
— But would they stop you?
— I don't know if Nate has already commented to you, but my family has a well-regarded heritage in and out of the country, and money was never an issue in my family, so they could pay the severance pay and get me out of this project without that I knew. That's why I want you to find out when it's almost finished. I know it will be difficult, but so far they haven't found anything.
[...]
The conversation with Nate and his mother about my family dramas was very comforting. Your mother has given me a lot of advice about my parents, but I know I'm not ready to tell you yet. Nate invited me to play the fifth episode lines in his room. I confess that this did not please me much, as I have avoided any closer contact, but it seems that it is something inevitable at the moment.
— I think Wanchai must have some problem, it's not possible that he doesn't understand that Thirasak accepted the fake relationship because there is some love interest... It's not possible! What do you think, Will? — he asks me, I look at his room, and I remember the scene we recorded, when Wanchai meets Thirasak 's room . — What is it? You seem to pay more attention to my room than to me!
— It's just that I remembered when Wanchai met Thirasak 's room ... But don't worry, your room doesn't look like his. I say, and he smiles. — I liked the decor, the miniature cars on the boards, your bed is not on the floor like his, the walls, the curtains and the furniture are all white. In Thirasak 's house it's all dark, when I read the novel I thought he was a vampire.
He and I burst out laughing. I think when we're done recording I'll miss our conversations, your laughter, your smile, your... Will , you better stop! He lies on the bed, and reads something from the script.
— This part is very sad, I don't know if I want to kill Wanchai , or kiss him.
I look at his face, he looks thoughtful, and I'm extremely lost, I think I'd better go away. I avoided him for a while, and now I'm here in his room, and he says something like this, my confused head can't take it. Before I do anything, he anticipates.
— Will, look at this!
— What? — I say and he pulls me down next to him. What the hell, Nate , you don't cooperate! I lie down and face him. ' What's so interesting? '
— Wanchai 's line , he says he's going to hit on the girl, but he's realizing that Thirasak is bad for him, and...
As he talks about his outrage at my character, I stare at him. His face is inches from mine. Wow, how handsome he is! Your mouth is beautiful, it looks so kissable ... Stop it, Will! My heart is beating wildly, he stops reading the script and his beautiful eyes look at me with curiosity, I feel an uncontrollable urge to kiss him, he is stronger than me, I bring my hand to his face, and I caress him, he looks at me scared. Maybe this could be the perfect time for a kiss? I don't know, but before I make a move, we're surprised by someone who enters the room without knocking.
— What's going on here?
WillI take a deep breath as I lay my head on my pillow. My night was intense. It started with an amusing moment during dinner, and ended with a very unpleasant situation in Nate 's room .“What's going on here ?”, that sentence sounded so accusatory, as if we were doing something very bad. Okay, that I was caressing your face, but I guess friends can do that, or can't they? I know I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him, but I didn't. The problem is that we were surprised by someone I didn't know was still a part of his life. Your girlfriend.Her presence took us by surprise, I quickly removed my hand that was caressing his face, and we both sat on the bed, the girl looked enraged, bu
WillDuring the rest of the day we shot a lot of scenes, we had a few breaks, but Nate didn't say anything else about what we talked about, or what was causing the fuss. So I thought it best to leave it all alone.Confused, confused, confused. That word doesn't get out of my head, as soon as the day's recording ends, everyone heads to the parking lot, I say goodbye to everyone, and I stare at Nate who looks at me in a strange way, he seemed to want to tell me something. I turned around and opened the car, and I heard his voice from the other side of the vehicle.— Will, can you give me a ride? — His request takes me by surprise
WillWhat I find when I look at him is nothing but sweetness. I watch her mouth closely and an uncontrollable urge to taste her takes over me. His lips look very kissable to my eyes, extremely inviting. Will, you need to control this insane desire, you are not Wanchai, and he is not Thirasak. I can't, it's stronger than me, I approach him a little, shortening the small distance between us even more, he continues to stare at me as if he's been waiting for me. I bring my face closer to his, and before I take any action, my phone rings.I reach into my pocket for it, and Nate quickly unbuckles the belt. I look at the viewer, “my father”. Before I say a word, he steps forward.—
WillI argued with my sister over her insistence that I'm in denial. I spent the night thinking about what he said, and I came to the conclusion that I was an idiot in the past, and out of fear I didn't experience that "possible relationship" during the end of high school. But and now? How do I feel about my co-star? Is it just enthusiasm? Is it the closeness that makes me think of Nate differently?I don't know what I feel for him, but I know that being by his side makes me very happy. Every time I make him smile, it makes me feel light. Hearing his voice telling funny situations from his life while having dinner is perfect. I observe every detail of her face that makes me enchanted, her eyes are an intense brown, and they look at me with an expression of happiness. He smiles when he hears me say any nonsense, and it infects me, sometim
Will— What? Did you dream about me?— Did I say that? It's not me...— You did, but… — Before I finish my sentence, his phone goes dead, and that unbearable sound echoes in my ear. There's no way Nate could have hung up the phone in my face!I really can't believe he did that. Tried calling back but the phone seems to be off, won't ring. If I was already shaken, I was even more so after his confessions. What does he want? Drive me crazy or something? He said he dreamed of me, and maybe he was embarrassed by what he said, or by the dream?
Will“Mom, I...”My breath quickens, I open my eyes and realize that it was all a dream. I sit up in bed, my breathing still rapid. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. A feeling of frustration washes over me. It's not possible that this was all a dream, it was so real! My fingers touch my lips, I close my eyes and the whole scene plays out in my mind. If I keep having dreams like that, I'll go crazy.I leave the dressing room straight to the recording set. I walk there with great anxiety, we will record the kiss scene, and the kisses we exchanged in this last dream don't leave my head. I arrive on set, and the scene takes place in Wanchai's room, and Nate is sitting on the bed talking
WillThe kiss scene was re-shot four more times, P'Tan looked dissatisfied and wanted multiple angles of the kiss, Nate didn't complain, and I didn't. But the seemingly desperate, wild way it took my mouth ended up leaving marks, my bottom lip bruised and a little swollen. Despite that, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed the feel of his mouth touching mine, I maintained enormous self-control. Congratulations, Will!I left the set, looking for some ice so it wouldn't swell even more. I walk down the long hallway until I reach the dressing room door. In the corner there is a fridge, I open it and there is no ice, I ask the makeup artists where there is ice, and one of them tells me I should look for the cafeteria, or the production room. I leave the dressing room, and I almost bump into the person who wanted to devour my mouth.
WillThe feeling of emptiness still settled inside me, Nate's words echoing in my mind. "I'm straight, I'm straight!", "I was always sure of that, but now... No, it's wrong!", and it makes me think about so many things, everything I believed before, his speech is the same as mine, it was... I don't believe it anymore. I remember my older sister, Sunee, who once told me how hard it was to accept that she liked girls, how wrong she thought she was, and how liberating it was for her when she was finally able to experience her love.I can't lie, I've lied before when I was interested in a boy in the past, I'm not that 17 year old anymore, four years have passed, I feel a slight reg