Bone Thin

"Natalie, are you sleeping again? Get up, lazybones!"What the hell is Selah doing outside my bedroom? How embarrassing..."No, Selah... I'm awake," I say.Hi, I'm Natalie... The world's most boring fifteen-year-old. While other fifteen-year-olds know who they are. I'm over here, playing it safe. Well, most of the time.I'm the most boring in my social group. I can't play sports very well. I was blessed with my mother's two left feet. When I get nervous or scared, I chew gum. I've been chewing gum a lot lately. My dentist hates me for it."Stop chewing gum, Natalie. You're going to ruin your jaw," I can hear my dentist say.To that, I say, whatever. I've been clenching my jaw a lot, thank you very much. My friends all know that when I pull out a piece of gum, it's time to ask me what my problem is.I have a boyfriend named Chad Jefferson. We've been best friends since as far back as I can remember. My older sister, Samantha, thinks he's bad news. Maybe he is... maybe he isn't. Or mayb

I wake up. It's morning. I slept through dinner again, unbelievable. It's 5:30 am, time to eat breakfast and head to the stable. The smell of horses first thing in the morning always calms me down.I ride my bike to my aunt's house. She's about three miles away from me. The morning air feels cool and refreshing. I smell spring and feel the dampness of dew against my face.The stable has that deep aroma of fresh hay. Carmel, my companion, walks over to me and eats oats from the palm of my hand. I brush the knots out of his mane. I get ready to ride. The saddle feels like home. And off we go.The backwoods and the large river within them are my favorite places to be. This is my Narnia, away from everyone else. Carmel drinks the water from the stream. I check my watch. Damn, it's almost 7:00 AM.I take out my breakfast bar and eat it. I wish I weren't hungry. I hate feeling hungry. Hunger equals food. And food equals fat. I toss the breakfast bar in the river and decide not to eat. My bo

Chad leaves. And I feel like shit for breaking up with him. I mourn the summer we will not have together—my stomach aches and churns from the breakup. I will regret this breakup in the morning.I look at the clock; it turns from 1 to 4 am in five minutes. I can't sleep. I walk downstairs into the kitchen to see what alcoholic filth and flavors are available for my underage sorrows.I sneak down the stairs, pausing with each step. I hold my breath in. I don't want anyone to see, hear, or know I exist on the stairs. I want an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter. To disappear into the air and not be viewed by anyone. That must be nice.I go into the alcohol stash my mom has hidden away. She thinks I don't know about it. But I always have. I remember her pulling the toaster oven back and finding that moveable wall tile. And behind the tile, alcohol.I pull the tile aside and find the honey-colored whiskey. I grab one of my dad's shot glasses from his travel collection. The shot glass say

I wake up sober. Sunday has a better vibe to it than Saturday. I look around my room and see Selah sleeping. I sneak out of my room and tiptoe quietly to the door. The door squeaks behind me. Go figure. Maryanne, my mom, has made coffee. I haven't seen dad in a while. He's been on a business trip.I grab two ugly poodle-shaped mugs and fill them with hot chocolate and coffee. I hike back to my room and find Selah awake. The coffee is hot as hell, and I almost spill it on her. She grabs the coffee from my hands."Thanks, Nat. So, have you had the chance to ask your parents about Italy? I still want you to go," Selah says."Umm, not yet. It's been a lot of drama, with the breakup and my job interview. I still have a few months to ask. Don't worry, I will. Promise," I say.Selah grabs a towel from my small closet. She unzips her backpack and gets her fancy salon shampoo out."I'm going to shower," she says."That's fine," I say.I sit on my bed. Cinnamon cuddles me and purrs. She knocks

A few days pass, and Chad is almost gone. Selah doesn't know about Collin Abernathy. There's nothing wrong with having a secret friend. She didn't like Collin in grade school anyway, and she won't like him now.I focus on school and take notes for once. I flunk my English test. I guess drawing pictures all over it was, in fact, a horrible idea.Chad and I don't talk. Seeing him will make my sad feelings surface. Is Collin, right? Is Chad a big dumbass? Chad's been my best guy friend for so long. I guess I never considered other guys don't normally shoplift or smoke. Has he really had a bad influence on me? Or have I been a bad influence on him? I text Collin in my study hall.Me: Where are you?Collin: At work. Why?Me: Can we hang later this week?Collin: Really?Me: Yes...why?Collin: Thought you didn't like me.Me: I do.Collin: When does your boyfriend leave town?Me: He leaves tomorrow.Collin: How about I see you after Mr. BF is gone.Me: Collin... he is NOT my bf.Collin: Whate