CHAPTER 2

I see who I am.

I'm looking in a reflection, staring back at a turbulent, obstinate

heart. I know who it is that faces me, but that is not what matters.

It is paramount in the minds of my world exactly what you are,

because what ties the bond between blood and water is not loyalty

nor the falsity of words, but the beast within our heart.

Everything will change tonight; for the good, the bad, or the worst.

I cup a pool of water in my palms, throwing whatever droplets that

don't slip through my fingers against my face. I'm washing away

the final remnants of present Kadence, because no matter the

outcome of tonight's endeavours, I will be leaving behind a

fragment of myself. When the full moon rises, it will rot and

blacken until it is no longer mine.

There's a knock at the bathroom door, and I grunt in annoyance.

Can I have just one minute to myself? Sage and Alan have been

shadowing me the entire day, trailing behind like a nagging

sensation crawling up my spine. Every inch I move, they budge an

extra two.

To say it's been infuriating would be a dramatic understatement.

And now, as I take a simple toilet break to relieve myself of having

their breaths down my neck, they're getting impatient. What do

they think the Pantera will do? Crawl inside the invisible window

and tear me to pieces?

An oozing pain has been throbbing in my temples since I woke. An

unremitting, merciless ache. Little pin-pricks tease the walls of my

skull until I'm rubbing those pressure points with my fingertips. My

eyes flick up to the mirror once again until those green, bloodshot

eyes are staring back at me.

"Weak," the girl in the reflection whispers. My heart jolts from its

cage when a perverse smile crawls onto her lips. I twitch my head

as I watch that familiar stranger mimick my action, craning her

neck as she peers curiously back at me. There's a darkness in

those eyes I never saw before.

"Weak," she spits again. Rage wraps around me in a straitjacket

and refuses to release its shackles. Weak, weak, weak human, the

thoughts infiltrate my sanity until I smash my fist against the sink.

"I am not weak!" Pain spirals through my knuckles and it is then I

see sticky, crimson substance peering through the surface of my

skin. I stare at the little cuts in confusion once I realise what I've

done, and step back from the pestilent mirror trying to tear control

from my fingers. A heavy knock jolts me from the spell until I

remember where I am.

"Kade, are you okay?" Sage's voice sounds panicked.

"I'm fine, yeah, I'm okay. Coming," my words spew out

breathlessly through my haze. I run my hands under the tap water

quickly to wash the blood from my hands. Tearing the door open

with trembling fingers, Sage stares at me in bewilderment. He

brushes some sweaty strands of hair from my forehead, and I

know he senses something isn't right.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks, his voice deepening with severity.

I nod, despite my doubts. No, I'm not okay, but I ignore the

stiffness of my eyes, the ache in my head and the never-ending

wave of agitation running through my body.

"Stressed, is all," I say when he flashes me a look of dubiety.

Sage face softens in concern, but it quickly forms into a

mischievous smile.

"Come on, I have something for you that might cheer you up." He

grabs my hand and pulls me to my living room. Alan simply stands

in the corner of the kitchen gazing out the window, fully

concentrating on his senses to trace any sign of Pantera. Sage

rummages through his backpocket when he sits us down on the

sofa. I still can't shake the irritation corroding my insides or the

instincts within me to scream until it renders my throat in two.

But then he takes out something that has my mind forgetting about

every single thought. A bracelet rests in his palms, made of moon

stone and tied together with crystals the colour of purple Lycan. A

silver wolf pendant hangs daintily in the middle, and I find myself

smiling so wide my cheeks begin to hurt and I cannot speak.

"You like it?" he questions, attaching it around my wrist while

peering at me with hopeful eyes. The ache fades from my head and

the bubble within my mind pops until there is clarity. And it hits

me; the possibility that I might lose it all, or that I'm going out of

my mind worrying about losing it all, the stress and the aches. It

smacks me hard like a bullet to the chest, and I wrap my arms

around Sage's neck in gratitude. I don't cry, even if I want to. I

haven't cried since the death of my mother.

The Pantera broke me for stealing her life, but I won't grant them a

single extra tear. The doubts inside of me are nothing but words.

"Thank you, Sage," I whisper into his ear before pulling back to

look at his face. Blood rushes to his cheeks and he clears his

throat nervously.

"I, uh, it was nothing." A goofy grin spreads across his lips. I shake

my head and shove him lightly, knowing he's lying.

"You're such a dork," I laugh. Staring at the silver wolf on my wrist,

my smile quickly churns and the niggling of irritation finds its way

back into my bloodstream. It weighs down on me oppressively that

I'm nearly knocked over. Sage notices my sudden change of mood.

"Well don't look so enthusiastic, princess."

Princess. I'm filled with loathe and rage strangling me in that

moment. It tightens itself around my neck, I can barely breathe.

Heat rises to my head, bubbling away furiously.

"Don't. Call. Me. That!" I thrust my palms against his chest with all

the strength I have, succumbing to the red blaze of anger as

Sage's body goes flying backward. He tumbles off the sofa and

smacks his head against the wall, eyes roaming dizzily with the

impact. I gaze down at my hands and realise the damage I've done

before running to his body. Alan is by my side, looking at me with

confusion and the slightest tinge of reproach.

"Sage! I'm... I didnt mean..." my voice trails off as the guilt corrupts

my body. He murmurs something incoherent, a mumble of

whispers I cannot hear.

"Are you hurt, lad?" Alan rests a hand on his shoulder. Sage looks

at me now, and my stomach churns.

"You're... gonna be... a strong wolf," he chokes out. And he's

laughing now, laughing uncontrollably as if it's the punchline of

some cosmic joke. I shake my head, not finding it as funny as him.

Brushing the sweat from my forehead, I stand and turn away from

the shame I feel.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me," I confess. God,

Kadence. Pull yourself together. Alan's footsteps sound from

beside me.

"It could be the Change, lass. I haven't seen anyone affected the

way you are now, but it can vary from person to person. Come on

now, we best be getting to the Clearing. I can sense the moon

rising."

I nod my head, perhaps this is a good sign. I stare down at my

blood-stained hands to see the cuts have started to bleed again,

feel the weariness in my body from exertion and fury. Perhaps it is

a confirmation of the Change approaching.

But what is it I'm truly becoming?

* * *

Moonlight seeps down onto the Clearing. My entire clan circle it in

clusters, leaving a thin path in the middle for my entrance. Trees

enclose us all around; they tower above like barriers of constraint.

Midnight is fading into a purple hue as the moon rises high. I

inhale the scent of earth -- leaves, bark, soil, life. For centuries

upon centuries, the Clearing has been our territory. We say it's a

place of birth, as every single clan member has awaited their fate

beneath the circle of moonlight. Many have been welcomed to the

family, and many have been outcasted. Either way, it is a place

where metamorphosis takes place and we step into our existence.

I keep my shoulders and my neck high and force the nerves out of

my body. All eyes are boring into me, because I may lead these

people one day. It will be my duty to protect this family, and to one

day vanquish the Pantera clan. I will see some prevail and many

die, and I will stand where my father stands now awaiting me in

the centre of the Clearing.

The tendril of anger still runs through my bloodstream. It has my

fist clenched and my fingernails digging into my palms as I strive

for control. They're all smiling, ready to welcome before I even

Change. So why is it that I feel the urge to rip something, or

someone , apart?

One step. Another. My feet move slowly with each stride I take

down the isle. Control. Strength. Control. The thoughts run dizzily

throughout my mind but I command my body to focus. Must be

strong, all eyes are depending on your future leadership to guide

them.

My father rests his hand on my shoulder when I join him.

"I am proud of you, my little wolf. You have come so far and trained

for this moment your whole life. Now it is here, the time has

come," he whispers to me, and only me. I nod gratefully, knowing

that I must show my fortitude and weed out my doubts. The

moonlight is cold while the air is moist and humid. The sensation

is dizzying, but there is magic in the air. I feel it coursing through

my veins, nestling itself into my bones. Father raises his arms as

he addresses the Clan.

"My family, today marks a very important day in history. Tonight we

will welcome Kadence Riley, twelfth descendant of Orrin Riley,

founder of the Lupina Clan, into our pack. May she one day lead us

to victory against the Pantera Clan, and bring with her peace for us

all," he continues, pride merged with his words. He won't even

acknowledge the fact that I could be human, nobody will. I can only

hope that if the Change comes, this anger poisoning me will

subside. A side affect, is all, that will wear off. A confident smile

spreads across my lips.

"Let the ceremony begin!" he claps his hand together followed by

an animalistic cry from the Clan as they revel in the magic of the

night. The Clearing has that effect on our people. I know the drill,

and step further into the circle of light. Five members scurry to the

outline of the circle and place lit candles around me. Their flames

flicker as they dance with the gentle breeze, and the smell of

Lycan flowers overwhelms me. My heart is throbbing now. I feel

the heavy beat pulsing throughout my entire body, almost ready to

burst through.

Yes, yes. It's happening, it is finally happening.

"We rose from fire and ash. From the blood and magic of our

ancestors birthed Lupina," my father's voice resounds through the

crowd. False howls and cheers come from the crowd as ecstasy

pounds through their blood. The moon is almost at high-point, and

it is then I feel my skin tingle.

"For years we've won and lost battles. Many have fallen, but we've

risen from those deaths. Our time will come where we defeat our

enemy once and for all, and win the war approaching!"

I think of my mother and her mangled body. Loathe fills me and

that tide of rage engulfs me until I'm drowning in it. Suddenly, I cry

out from the crack in my bones. Searing pain and blood rushes to

my ears. A scream escapes my throat and rips it apart at once,

followed by the cries of my people. The Change has been

triggered, and before I can relish in the relief and euphoria buzzing

through my mind, the agony hits me so hard that I've fallen to the

ground.

The Clan's wolf-calls carry throughout the Clearing and my blood

pulsates in my eardrums. At once, my bones twist and I'm on all

fours. Smells hit me, pungent odours of the earth and the beasts

surround me. I can almost smell the wolves within the human

bodies, and rage fills me at once. Why do I want to tear the flesh

off their bodies?

The moon's light on my skin has me almost ravenous for blood. I

loathe it, that sensation of it crawling along my body. But Lupina's

allies are with the Sun, and we revel in the light the moon reflects.

So why does everything under the surface of my flesh crawl and

itch furiously? The urge to dive from the light and into the grasps

of night's dark blanket almost precedes any other instinct. But the

pain is too much so I must simply allow it take hold of me.

"We welcome you, Kadence Riley, to live and die fighting for our

freedom!"

My gums swell when my canines begin to lengthen into sharp

points. A bolt of pain. I scream. My hands and feet transmogrify

into paws with short, pointed claws. The magic washes over me

until I"m liquid fire. Rage. Red haze. Short, black hairs grow on my

skin. Alarm and dread washes over me, what is this? The coat of

my family is the purest shade of white. Murmurs drift through the

crowd at once, little whispers of astonishment and confusion.

People are shifting all around me.

Howls escape into the night in a blur of panic. I try to join them,

but as my voice disintegrates and the animal takes hold of me, I do

not howl.

I roar.

In that moment I know what I've become. I am not human.

No, for unknown reasons and confusion beyond my

comprehension, I have become something else. It is no longer a

matter of being outcasted from this world, but hunted by my

family.

As the enemy .