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Chapter 57: Guilt
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Atticus Chapter 1: Prologue
They come uninvited and unwanted. The barriers meant to keep them out have been broken, allowing their unscrupulous thoughts and desires to stay hidden from the outside world. They are thieves, invading in the cloak of night, scavenging a hiding place for their foul intentions. I am sickened, yet I deeply desire what they have, wishing I could be cherished in the same way. They know not of my existence. Only rumors fuel their curiosity to investigate, ravaging what was once a grand house. Now it is merely a shell of what it was-full of life, fine art, and furniture. But all of that is no more and it pierces the same knife through my heart as jealousy of what I can never have begins to ravage my soul.*"C'mon, Nick, don't be such a pussy.""Screw you, Paul, you're the one who's scared of this place.""Jesus, keep your voices down.""Yeah, listen to your mother-I mean, Brad.""Just get in here, asshole.""Nick, did you bring a light?""Yeah, hang on.""Holy shit, get a l
Atticus Chapter 2
Lilburn, Georgia 1992** Candice **In a manner of minutes, I'll be walking into my fourth high school and everyone will be staring at the new girl. We've moved so many times in the past three years, I'm nauseated before I even leave this crappy apartment. This time, we've landed in the middle of small town Georgia because Mom ran out of money and needs a job. Again. Thank God this is my last year in high school. "Candice!" Mom screams from downstairs. "Where's my tip money?" The bite in her voice practically slaps me in the face. Mom's already pissed and it's only seven thirty in the morning. That might be a new record. She must have forgotten where she hid it again, but I can't tell her that or even admit that I can usually find it within minutes. I'm pretty sure I know why she's been more on edge than normal. Every penny she had saved was eaten up by having to pay our first and last month's rent and now we're living on her leftover tips.Clearly, I need to be more car
Atticus Chapter 3: New School
"Welcome to Parkview High! I'm Mrs. Stephens," the overly enthusiastic counselor says, gesturing me into her office. Her periwinkle blue jumpsuit is my first clue that a '70s hippie wardrobe is alive and well in her closet. I don't think I've ever seen so many bracelets, ear piercings, or necklaces on one person before. Eccentric doesn't even cover it. I smile back, even though I know it's not quite reaching my eyes, and take a seat anyway. I notice right away a large framed diploma from The University of Georgia hanging just above the credenza and what look like framed family photos neatly placed below. I close my eyes for a second and swallow. Family. Wouldn't that be nice?Opening the manila envelope I handed her when I walked in, Mrs. Stephens takes out my transcripts and places them on her desk. She begins to look over them as if double-checking the contents. The constant popping sound she's making with her gum is annoying the crap out of me. Seconds later, she glances u
Atticus Chapter 4: Finding My Way
After finding a seat in the back of the class, I can finally get a deep breath. I know the hardest part about being the new girl is the being new part, but my stomach still has some catching up to do. It's nothing new; I pretty much stay in a perpetual state of uneasiness thanks to the unpredictable world I live in. The first few weeks are always the worst though.I manage to clear my head long enough to take a few notes in between the occasional stare from a guy next to me and again from a girl on my left. I swear it'd be easier if I just wore a freaking nametag saying, "I'm new, not an alien." When the bell rings I bolt out of the room as quickly as I can. My only focus is to find my next class before I have to ask for help. I don't want favors and I don't want charity because nothing in my world is free. Everything is conditional. I thought by now I'd be used to the way we live but what I really do is fake it. Just like my mom. Most of the time I feel like I'm on autopilot, trudg
Atticus Chapter 5
** Brad **It was a stroke of sheer luck that the seat next to me was empty. And when Candice Crawford sat down, it was hard to keep my eyes off her. She caught me by surprise and I felt like shit watching her fall outside the restroom. I instantly began picking up items tossed from her backpack and was curious when she didn't take my hand when I stood up. I wasn't expecting that kind of response. We stayed frozen in an awkward silence for a split second before she jumped to her feet, unaware I was still watching her. I didn't like how her face contorted and I knew without question she was in pain. I immediately got rid of the assholes doing nothing but laughing, yet somehow my small gesture wasn't enough. I wanted to do more, but when she looked up at me I couldn't think.I offered my help when the bell rang because I was pretty sure she didn't know where her next class was either, but she turned me down. I couldn't help but laugh, even though she was a complete stranger to me;
Atticus Chapter 6
** Candice **All during chemistry, I felt Brad's eyes on me and it seemed like forever before class was over. I wish I were like other, normal girls, excited to have the attention of an attractive guy. But I simply can't have him right now-not when my life is shit. My head won't allow it even though my heart doesn't understand. I've never had roots and I sure as hell don't think we'll stick around here long enough for them to grow. I wait for most of the students to leave before I try to stand because I'm pretty sure I'll need a second. I have no doubt I'll look like I'm a hundred for the first few steps. The pain in my lower back isn't as bad as it was at the beginning of class, but the last thing I want is to draw attention to myself. I'll risk being tardy.As I leave the room I see Brad standing outside the door and I make the mistake of looking up at him. His lips curl up and for a split second, I can't remember why I told myself to stay away from him."Need some help fin
Atticus Chapter 7: It's Complicated
If it weren't for my desire to go to college, I probably would've bailed on Mom already. But I need her, even if she is a complete mess. There's no way I can get an apartment on my own and also support myself. So I'll follow her rules until May. I don't have a choice, no matter where we end up. I promised myself a while back that I would bust my ass and keep up my grade point average. I just hope it's enough to get some kind of academic scholarship. I know I won't go to Princeton or anything, but any state college will do. And whichever one puts the most miles between my mother and I will be the one I choose.I'm a few blocks away from the school, looking up at the enormous pine trees, when I hear what sounds like a voice or maybe my name-I can't be sure. But I definitely heard something. I stop and scan the area, searching for someone who might have called for me, trying to figure out who would even know me. But there's no one around. The house I'm stopped in front of looks like
Atticus Chapter 8: A New Kind of Peace
I sit with my back against the wall for a while, adjusting myself to stay in the light as I watch the sun move across the room. I'm so relaxed I have to fight to keep my eyes open; I can feel myself drifting in and out. It doesn't take long for my lids feel like lead so I give in, feeling completely tranquil until my mind begins replaying the events from this morning with Mom. I can even smell the cigarettes and booze on her breath. I'm bracing myself for another smack when the scene suddenly changes and I see my father pushing me on a park swing. I'm maybe only five years old and I'm laughing as I beg him to push me harder. When he does, I instantly fall off, his voice screaming my name, becoming its own echo. I look up and can't see my dad anywhere because a black mist forms from the ground up, blacking out my vision. It's so dark that panic starts rising in my stomach because I know I'm alone. I hear my name and watch as the mist slowly begins to morph into the shape of a man. My
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