Truth
Before the two, Tammy and Miya, could return to our table, I immediately fixed myself. I plastered my smile while they were approaching. The two are still glaring at each other which made me laugh a little bit.
"My God, Tamia! She looks like a fool while dancing in front! Not even on beat. It's embarrassing." Miya said with a frown on her face before sitting next to me.
"Shut up. You're trying your hard in pretending that you're demure, but it's obvious from your face that you're not. It's a bar, so I'm probably going to dance. And no one should care whether I'm on the beat or not." Tamia took a sip of the vodka she was holding. I just shook my head, a small smile on my lips is clear.
Seeing both of them makes me happy. They are one of my allies who truly love and care for me. They were there when I needed them the most. They are here, by my side, when the world's turning its back against me. They are the ones who stayed. And seeing them, with me, makes my heart warm.
I wasn't enough for my own family. They were never proud of me from the start. But these two, these two made me feel like I am enough. They made me feel like my existence is enough for someone to be proud of.
These two never doubted me. They never left me even in my worst days. They supported me in everything. They both understand me in any way.
I'm still lucky, aren't I? So so lucky to have a genuine friends like them.
The two were so drunk when we came home. I was the one who was driving while the two were bickering at the backseat. I just shook my head every time Tamia's voice rises in annoyance. The two are really like cats and dogs whenever they fight. The reason why I don't really like to put them together because they're so noisy.
I was thankful that I didn't have to call a guard to lift the two up. They are indeed drunk but they know I can't carry them both so they are trying their hardest to stay awake. I was just guiding them.
"What the hell! Step aside, Tammy! Your face makes me sick!"
"It makes you sick! Your face is just 2 and mine's a 10!"
I smiled apologetically at the couple who were with us inside the elevator. They just nodded in understanding. They were watching the two too with nothing but amusement in their eyes.
When they got inside my condo, the two immediately stretched out on the sofa. Half of Miya's body were on the carpet while her feet were placed on the sofa. I shook my head. I guess it was kinda a bad idea to bring them in a bar. If I had known, we could've just get drunk inside my unit, right?
I just entered the room and left the two in the living room. I took a bath before changing myself into my sleepwear. I was able to get an extra comforter and a thick blanket for the two before I get back inside my room.
I lay on the bed and stared at the blank ceiling above.
I thought I was fine. No. I can't be. I don't know how long I'll be able to handle it, especially with the news I just found out.
They are fu-cking engaged now. This is not just an article anymore. This is for real now.
Claus really loves my twin to the point that he's ready to give her his surname to her. Claus and I were together for four years, but he never asked for my hand. He wanted us to have a baby, but he never proposed to me in those four years of being together. While he and Beatriz had only been together for a year, he was able to immediately ask for her hand in marriage. I can't help but to compare. I guess comparing things will become a part of my life forever, because my whole life, I was compared too. I was compared to my twin. Saying she was far more better and such. I accept that all. But I have never been angry with my twin because it is not her fault that other people viewed me in a bad way.
When I had Claus, I considered myself lucky. Why not? He is Saint Claus Monteserio. One of the youngest successful businessman in the country. He is someone that every woman wants. He is an answered prayer for most, but I was too lucky to have him, huh?
We were fine. We were so fine together. B-but...
I closed my eyes tightly. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall.
I-I was pregnant...in the middle of me rising to the top of modeling. I was on the perk of my modeling job. I can reach it, but I got pregnant. I was pregnant with our first child. But even so, I was so ready to give up everything just for the child inside my womb.
I was so ready to give up everything including my career. B-but my child gives up too.
I sobbed hard before caressing my tummy as if that would bring my child back.
I don't... I don't know how our child lost! Or, I know it to myself but I just refused to accept it.
It hurts...
I closed my eyes tightly before heaving a deep sigh. Memories of what happened the night where I know I lost my baby came rushing inside my head.
The only thing that I can remember is that... Is the complete darkness. I was surrounded by darkness. I'm being forced to drink something I didn't know what kind of drink. It was liquid. It was water, but I tasted something was off in it. I don't want to drink...but they were... They were touching me!
They were touching me! They were laughing!
I clasped my mouth with both of my hands. I looked around my room. I wanted so bad to scream for help but something's stopping me.
I-I didn't mean to swallow that. While I was struggling to escape from their hands, I was screaming so they successfully put the water inside my mouth. I only drank a few...
And that's why I lost my...my baby.
I didn't mean to drink that! I know that it wasn't just a normal water!
I never wanted to lose my child! I was mourning too! The next day, I woke up with a massive headache...inside a hospital. I was on her bed. The doctor told me that she successfully removed the baby inside my womb!
I was hysterical! I was angry! I didn't wish to abort my child! The doctor lied! The doctor was paid by someone! The doctor showed Claus the contract where I signed so I could abort the child when the truth is, I didn't signed anything! Everything was a fraud! But Claus believed it!
And that is when everything crumbles down.
I sobbed loudly while hugging myself. After a while I heard the door to my room opened carelessly, before I felt the warm embrace of the two around me.
"Shush, everything will be fine... Hold on, Beautrin, please..."
Shoot"I don't know what's happening to you anymore, Beautrin! Your twin wanted you to join us for dinner but you keep on declining! Don't embarrass us with the Monteserios, Beautrin!"Early in the morning and Mom's call immediately ruined my day."Get it right Beautrin! We didn't raise you to be rude!" I bit my lower lip, slightly rolling my eyes heavenwards. Mom is really confident in saying that they didn't raise me to be rude, when they weren't there when I was growing up in the first place. I raised myself! That's the right thing to say because from the very beginning, they didn't give me any attention unless it's Beatriz."I'm busy." I coldly promise. I yawned before getting out of bed."Busy!" she scoffed on the other line. I can almost see how disgusted her looks are right now. "Busy with what?! With your stupid work?!"Stupid. Wow. Easy for her to say that I've chosen something stupid. Am I really their child?When I couldn't stand her scolding voice, I immediately hung up. I
Party"Shot!"Instead of going straight to the coffee shop, we ended up inside a bar. It's called Catastrophe. This is a place where the rich people usually go. Most of the customers here are elites and those who have a say in the society. Let's say a name. A high profiled name. "Why don't you drink?" Fabio gave me the glass with just a drink but I shook my head. "You don't drink?" he slightly raised his brow at me. He was sitting on my left while Miya was on my right. We are facing the Coleridge brothers, the owner of Devil's Glass, the liquor that I am currently modeling with Xander, Brandon, and Fabio. Xander and Brandon aren't here. They said they had something to do now so they didn't come with us."I drink, but just not now. I don't feel like doing it right now." I said with a smile. Fabio is actually a gentleman. Well, he's a little bit flirty but tolerable. I think that it's just really his nature. It's his thing. Fabio's a bit tanned and muscular. His muscles are almost bu
Dinner"I hope you feel guilty for rejecting your sister several times. She wanted you to be here for dinner and you what? Continue to reject her.""What will be my role be at the dinner, Mom, and why do I need to be there? What? To embarrass me?""You ungrateful child! Your sister is not like that! Go or-"I cut the call before turning my phone off.It's eleven in the morning, I just woke up and I can hear my good mother's voice again. Like, what the hell? Can't they let me rest for a day?I sighed deeply.Last night was what I call a nightmare. I don't want to remember all the things that Claus said because my heart hurts so much. It's like my heart is being torn apart again and again by hearing those words from his mouth. I don't even want to recall it.I was crying the whole night. It was almost morning when I completely fell asleep. I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror because I expected my fac
Help"Mother Delia!" I screamed so loud when I got inside. After a while, someone came out from the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she hurriedly walked towards me. I met her halfway before hugging her."Oh... My daughter grew up beautifully..." her soft voice made me close my eyes as I hugged her so tight. I kissed the top of her hair, smelling her in the process.I miss her. I miss my home..."I miss you, Momma..." I whispered softly. I smiled a little when I felt her hug tightening around me. After a while I heard her sniffed which surprised me. I broke our hug before looking at her. She was already crying. I wiped her tears while stopping mine from falling too. Gosh!"My daughter...I miss you...""Oh gosh..." I hugged her again and kissed her head several times."I really miss my Momma too..." my mouth trembled as I spoke. I was on the verge of crying too. My chest started to tighten but I am very happy. I want to regret why I left her here. I wish I had forced her to come with me so
RegretBut do I have any choice?No."Trin! What wedding dress should I choose?!" I watched my sister as she excitedly showed me the brochure of the wedding dresses. Being here...is killing me.It's painful. What I'm doing is painful but it's okay. I can only be with my sister sometimes, will I refuse this opportunity?I sighed before smiling at her."You should choose something brighter, Triz. It will suit you better." Of course. If she's the light, then I'm the darkness. We're completely opposite. We didn't spend a lot of time together when we were kids because...I avoided her. The reason? It's mom and dad, of course. They told me not to talk to Beatriz too much because she might be influenced. I don't know what kind of influence they were talking about but as I got older, I slowly understood what they meant.The young me was confused b
Trauma"What the hell?! What happened to you?!"Miya was hysterical when she fetched me. Claus left me crying inside the car. Someone picked him up and that's just it. He left me...alone...crying.I don't think that I can even drive in my state so I called Miya. The service van took her here, which immediately left after sending Miya here."Beautrin..." she held my face and tried to wipe my tears but they were still dripping. It just won't stop falling! I've been trying! I've been trying so hard to contain my tears but it just won't budge.I could see Miya's face with intense sadness as she looked at my whole face. I know. I know that my face shows how hurt and broken I am right now. There are no enough words to describe what I am feeling right now. This is just too much for me to handle."M-Mi..." I cried louder. She did nothing else but
Consequences"I have to tell him... I have to tell him... I have to tell him..." That's what I said over and over again when I woke up the next morning inside my condo. I am not sure, and I don't know how he will react on this. But I wish...I am wishing that he'll believe me now. Because honestly, I don't know what to do. I wanna raise the kid alone so bad but...but what if those people come back and hurt me again? What if they take my child away from me again?!No!This is not about me anymore! But also for my unborn child. I have to protect my child...our child. Together. Claus and I will do it together! His child needs him. We need him...I-I can't be alone because I'm scared! I am afraid not only for myself but also for my child...our child.I lazily took a bath before dressing myself up. When I was satisfied with my look, I immediately left the room."Trin...?" Miya immediately noticed me. She was sitting in the living room and it looked like she was talking to someone on her c
Never again Has someone already told me that my life would end up being this hard? I bet no. Because I wasn't prepared. I... No one is prepared. B-but I never thought my life would be this difficult. I never thought that the day would come when I don't even want be alive...that I would rather wish be gone. I didn't think I would choose to be selfish on this. I just want to disappear from the world because of what is happening to me. I know how much my mother and father are angry with me. I know that. Ever since I was a child, I could feel it. I was never the priority. It was always my twin. But even so, I still understand them. I tried to understand them from the very beginning. I...took my time. I took my time and did everything for me to be noticed by them, so that they could acknowledge me, that one day they would remember that their daughter has a twin and isn't alone. I took my time. I was living not for myself but to satisfy my family. But it was never enough. I...was never e