Prologue

“How dare you leave me!" Ryan yelled as the cops escorted him into the elevators that led out of the hospital.

I have had enough of this life.

Ryan and I had started dating right out of high school. He was a star athlete on the football team of my high school. I had thought I was the luckiest girl. After our graduation ceremony, Ryan walked right up to me and asked me to go out to a party that evening. I was not as popular as he was in high school, but I did have quite a few friends. That included some guys from my school as well.

Ryan and I had been inseparable after that first party together. I did not realize that Ryan had an anger streak until after six months of dating. At that time, Ryan had convinced me to move out of my parent's house and get an apartment with him. My parents had told me it was a bad idea, but being young and dumb I acted like they did not know what they were talking about.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret taking their advice. As soon as Ryan and I started living together, the abuse began. At first, it started with Ryan making comments. Ryan would tell me that I needed to start working out, that my receptionist job was making me gain weight since I just sat around all day. Of course, that was untrue. I had not gained one pound after starting that job. I also did a lot of walking around at the dentist office. One of the technicians had offered to help train me so that I could move positions eventually.

After the comments about my weight, I never corrected him. Ryan took it upon himself to start telling me who I could and could not hang out with. Unfortunately, that consisted of pretty much all my friends. Mostly, the guys I had hung out with during school. Ryan would make every excuse imaginable. Ryan claimed that one guy liked me too much, and it was not fair of me to lead him on by continuing to be his friend. Another time Ryan claimed that one of my friends had got into trouble with the law and I should not affiliate with criminals.

Ryan had pretty much made it to where the only things I did on a regular basis was go to work and then spend the nights and weekends with him. Unless he wanted to go. I wasn't allowed to tag along, though. Ryan had said that he needed time on his own with his buddies.

One night, I got tired of staying home by myself. I had called my best friend, Charlie, to come pick me up so we could have dinner together. Ryan had left some time before, and he usually did not return until the earlier hours of the morning.

Charlie and I decided to go to the sushi bar that was near my apartment. I did not want to venture too far. In case Ryan came home early. It was great to be able to spend time with my friend. Charlie was excited to tell me about her new career as a nanny. She loved kids and wanted to go to college to get a teaching degree. Of course, she needed to save up some money first. Charlie's parents were like mine. They were hard working but made enough to live on comfortably. That did not include college tuition and books. Neither of us was angry at our parents. We understood their situation.

Charlie and I had finished up dinner and then headed back to my apartment. When we walked through the door, I noticed the light was on in the corner of the living room. My gaze traveled to the couch, and who was sitting there? Ryan. He had come home early from his night out.

"Where did you ladies go?" He looked over at me and Charlie standing in the doorway. I shifted from one foot to the other.

"Oh, we just went to the new sushi bar down the road. Sorry if I had her out too late." Charlie chuckled. She was attempting to tell me a joke. Ryan did not laugh. I was too nervous to laugh also. Charlie caught on to the tension in the air and gave me a quick hug goodbye. She said she would see me later and went back out the door and closed it behind her.

"So, who else was at the sushi bar?" Ryan asked me. I looked at him confused.

"It was just me and Charlie," I said in response. I wasn't sure why he would think that someone else was there.

" Charlie is a slut. She would not go out without inviting a guy with her," Ryan said. I was taken aback. He had never called Charlie that before. He knew she was my best friend. Sure, she had a few boyfriends since high school, but she was not a slut.

"She is not a slut and no one else was there," I responded with an angry tone. I could not help it. He had no right to call my friends’ names. Especially when I knew some of the guys he hung around. They could be seen as man sluts to say the least.

Ryan wasted no time. He was off the couch and on me in two seconds. The back of his hand connected with my cheek. It caught me off guard that I fell into the potted plant we had near the door. My rib connected with the clay of the pot. I sucked in a breath as the pain radiated through my whole body.

I grabbed my cheek and my ribs. I looked up at Ryan in astonishment. I could not believe that he had put his hands on me. "Don't look at me like that. You brought it upon yourself. You know not to raise your voice at me," Ryan said as he looked down at me. He then turned on his heel and headed in the direction of our bedroom.

I scrambled to my feet and went to the bathroom to look myself over. I had a split on my bottom lip near the corner of my mouth, and I could already see the bruise beginning to form on my side. gingerly touched the sore spot. I could not understand why I had done to make Ryan so upset that he would strike me.

For 6 years this continued. It wasn’t until the night I returned from one of my visits to my parents’ house that I decided it was time to leave. I would only visit my parents every couple of months since Ryan did not get along with them and he was not welcome at their house anymore. He caused too many fights so my parents asked me if he could remain at home when I visited them.

Ryan never argued he would always say, "I do not want to be around them either," and then move on talking about something else.

When I returned home, Ryan was in a mood. I was not sure what had set him off this time. I tried to move about the apartment quietly, careful not to disturb him. He was sitting at the dining room table working on his laptop. I wasn't sure what got his attention now and to be honest I did care. If he was not coming after me.

I moved to the kitchen to start cleaning up dinner when I glanced over the bar of the kitchen into the dining room. There on Ryan's computer screen was porn. I immediately felt sick. He was more than likely looking up something that he wanted us to try later. I hated it when he did that. It was usually never enjoyable for me and ended with a new bruise or two on my body.

As I was turning to start loading the dishwasher with dishes, I noticed that the man on his computer screen was none other than Ryan himself. I froze in complete shock. Ryan was watching a video of him having sex with another woman. I felt like I was going to throw up. I was completely disgusted. I dropped the plate I was currently holding and ran to the bathroom. I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

How long had this been going on? He was cheating on me? When I have done nothing but everything he wanted for the last 6 years. I did what he wanted in the bedroom. I did not hang out with my friends anymore. I barely saw my family. I did not even take the promotion at work because he said that it would empower me too much.

Ryan came to stand in the doorway of the bathroom. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame. "Finally pregnant yet?" He asked. He sounded bored or annoyed. I did not know which. The last thing I wanted was to get pregnant by this monster. I had made sure that when the beatings had started, to run to a clinic and get on birth control. I made sure that I kept the pills in my desk at work. Ryan never came to visit me there so he would never find them.

I stood up from the ground. Closing the toilet seat and flushed. When I turned around to face Ryan, I could no longer contain the anger and resentment that had been building for a long time. "I would never have a child with you. I saw what was on your computer screen. You have been sleeping with someone else." Ryan's face immediately contorted into the monster that I had come to live with. Ryan put his hands up and shoved me as hard as he could. I felt my body thrown against the wall behind me. My head hit so hard that everything had gone black.

When I finally woke, I was lying in a hospital bed. Ryan was sitting in the chair next to my bed. His arms were folded over his chest and his chin was resting on his chest. His breathing was even so he must have been sleeping. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the hospital bed. I made sure to keep my eyes on Ryan the entire time. I did not want him to know that I was trying to leave the room.

It wasn’t the first hospital visit we had, but it would be our last. I made sure to remain on my tiptoes as I walked to the hospital room door. Once outside of the room I took a large breath and let it go. My hospital room was not far from the nurse’s station. I walked over and put my hands on the desk that was level with my chest.

"Hello, dear. We weren’t aware that you were awake. Do you need something? Why didn’t you use the call button?" This came from a brown-haired nurse on the other side of the desk. She stood up and walked around the side of the nurse’s station.

"I need you to call the police." The look on the nurse’s face changed immediately.

"What is going on?" She asked me.

"My boyfriend shoved me in our bathroom, and I am guessing that is why I am here. He has been abusing me for the last 6 years." I told her quickly. I was beginning to lose my strength. Afraid that she would not believe me and send me back into that room.

The nurse's demeanor completely changed. "Please follow me." She had lowered her voice and turned around quickly. I fell in step with her and followed her into an empty hospital room. She pointed to the bed. "Please sit down. I am going to hook up your IV in here. I will call the police, but I need you to remain in this room." I nodded and did as she instructed me.

Once I was on the bed and had a new IV hooked up to the needle in my arm, the nurse turned the light off and left the room. She closed the door tightly behind her.

I sat in a dark room. Listened to the noises around me. The thing about hospital rooms and doors, they do not keep out all the noise. Ryan knew this and knew to be on his best behavior when in this building.

A short amount of time passed and then I could hear Ryan at the nurse’s station. "Have you seen my girlfriend? She was in room eleven, but she is not there." He had a worried sound to his voice.

"We had to take her to run a few more tests. She should be back in her room shortly if you want to go back and wait. She is almost done." I could hear the nurse tell him. I silently thanked the woman. I heard Ryan's feet walk away from the nurse’s station and head back in the direction of the room.

A few more minutes passed. I then heard what sounded like boots walking down the hallway. As well as what sounded like keys jingling. The boots stopped at the nurse’s station. I heard a man's rough voice say, "What room?" and then the nurse says eleven." The boots walked past the nurse’s station and headed in the direction of my old hospital room.

There was a commotion in the room. I could hear Ryan questions the police. They must have handcuffed him. There was a slight struggle coming from the other room. "What do you mean?" Ryan yelled. I could not make out what the office said to him. "I have never touched her." Ryan retorted. What a liar. I lay there in the hospital bed as the officers continued to arrest Ryan.

After a moment I heard them, all walking out of the room I had snuck out from. They stopped at the nurse’s station only briefly and then continued down the hallway. That was when I suddenly heard a scream from the hallway.

"How dare you leave me!" Ryan yelled as the cops escorted him into the elevators that led him out of the hospital.