WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW
CONTENT WARNING: TRANSPHOBIC AND ABLEIST LANGUAGE
Sally leads us to a waiting room, and when my name is called out, I walk into Dr. Shaurya Patel’s office. I’m mesmerized by how dark her shiny eyes are – almost like a wolf’s. After taking my medical history and performing some routine exams, she looks up from her computer and beams at me.
“You’re all set, deary,” she says. “Now, I will give you your first dose of MBS. As you’ve been informed in your preliminary interviews, you also have the option of taking birth control with it. Is that something you would like?”
Heat creeps into my cheeks, and Dr. Patel seems to notice.
“This is a judgment-free zone, Willow,” she says in a motherly tone, with a tight-lipped smile. “I don’t care what your sex life is like, I’m just offering the option of taking it along with your monthly MBS.”
I am currently on the pill, but that’s not something I’ve ever been allowed to discuss openly. I never got to visit a doctor in the human city, because they would be able to tell something was off with my werewolf’s metabolism. Instead, I came to Mom when I was 15 and told her I wanted to go on contraceptives.
She wasn’t happy to learn I’d started having sex, but she’s always been my ride or die and so she helped me. She contacted her sister, who still lives in Gathering Storm Pack – Mom’s original pack – and she got a prescription for werewolf pills in her name. Aunt Lyla would purchase them and give them to Mom monthly.
After our original talk, Mom never broached the subject again and would just discreetly hand me the pills every month. I think she’s disappointed that I didn’t save myself for my mate, but that’s just so old-fashioned. Even Jamie was okay with it. As far as Dad knows, I’m a virgin, waiting for her mate. Or possibly waiting for him to find me a worthy chosen mate. But I’ve had my fair share of lovers and even a couple of serious relationships.
Getting a monthly injection sounds way better than taking the pill daily, and I knew I would take it when they first told me about it a month ago when I tried out for the Program. I guess I’m still embarrassed to talk about it to “adults”.
“We are an adult,” Jamie rolls her beautifully purple wolfish eyes.
“Yes, please,” I gingerly reply, looking down.
She administers the drug cocktail through a vein in my arm and prints out some documents.
“You will be in the fifth cohort. Your General is Savannah, and she’s a very skilled warrior and leader. She’ll be outside waiting for you. The one with the pink hair, you can’t miss her.” Dr. Patel says. “Welcome to the Cadet Program, Willow, and welcome to Ghost Pack.”
I smile broadly, thrilled to once again be reminded that I’m in a pack.
As Dr. Patel said, there is a young woman with shortly cropped bright pink hair waiting outside the office. She’s wearing military fatigues, and once again I dread the possibility of having to wear them myself. Her eyes are bright green, and her full lips are doing something to me. She looks at me and smiles.
“Hi! You must be Willow,” she says, sounding so damn excited to see me, with just a hint of a French accent.
I bite my lip. Then, when she turns her head to the side and I see the bright red mark on her neck, I deflate.
“Why are we so horny?” I ask Jamie.
“No idea,” she says, sounding like she does have an idea or two.
“I am Savannah, General to the Fifth Cohort. This right here is Xenia and Felix. I’m taking you guys to your dorm, the other two will meet us there,” she says.
I look at the two figures beside her.
“Hi! I’m Felix. Please call me they/them.” It’s the person who was next to me in the meeting hall. Their grin is huge, and now take a look at their tie-dye t-shirt, capris, and brown sandals.
“Xenia,” the girl next to Felix says, with a shy smile. She’s short by werewolf standards. Probably like 5’5’’. She has long brown hair and brown eyes to match, and she’s wearing a cute yellow sundress, paired with black sandals. Oddly, has glasses on.
I love fashion, okay? Sue me. If a guy is super obsessed with hockey and knows the names of all the players and moves, he has a cool hobby. If a girl likes fashion and makeup, she’s vain and shallow. Bullshit. Fashion and makeup are some of my interests, and I’m also a literature nerd and a badass fighter who can kick the shit out of most guys on my 4-inch heels. Those things are not contradictory, they’re just part of who I am.
I guess I could kick the shit out of most human guys. Fighting with other werewolves will be a different thing. But this program only takes the best of the best, and I had to fight other shifters when I tried out. I didn’t win any of those fights, but I was able to show that I’m good and have potential.
“Right. We deserve to be here. We earned this spot,” Jamie says. “You do go overboard with your fashion obsession, though. It’s like you wake up every day and think ‘What would Blaire Waldorf wear?’”
I mentally scoff and roll my eyes at Jamie. I look down. I’m wearing dark skinny jeans, black 3-inch kitten heels, a peach-colored blouse, and holding a faux leather handbag. I look normal, and I look damn fine.
“That’s because you made an effort to look casual today.” Jamie loves taunting me, but she seems to be sassier today. I guess she’s as excited and nervous to be here as I am.
We make our way through the Barracks towards our dorm.
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you guys a tour tomorrow,” Savannah says. “There you go, the Fifth Cohort dorm. I’ll give you some time to settle in, don’t forget you have the welcoming dinner later tonight.”
Our dorm is pretty basic. There are three bunk beds and our luggage is waiting for us. Two girls are already there. One of them is super tall, with a model’s body and beautiful blond hair. The other one is curvier and has bright red curly hair.
“Hi!” ginger hair says. “I’m Callie. This is Harper.” She points at the blond girl, who was busy going through her luggage.
“I’m Willow,” I say.
“Hey! I think I saw you the day I tried out!” Xenia says. Callie grins at her.
“Yeah, I think I remember you,” she then looks over at Felix with furrowed brows.
“I’m Felix,” they say.
At the sound of their voice, Harper goes stiff and turns around to face us.
“Hm, this is supposed to be a girl’s cohort.”
“They’re non-binary,” Xenia says.
Harper now scowls in our general direction.
“A tranny. Perfect,” she scoffs.
Then, her eyes narrow at Xenia.
“Why are you wearing glasses? You’re a werewolf. What’s wrong with you?”
I look over at Xenia and I swear to Goddess I can almost see smoke coming out of her ears.
I had wondered about that, too. A werewolf’s healing abilities are supposed to fix this kind of stuff.
“Bitch,” Xenia crosses her arms over her chest. “I don’t know where you got the audacity, but you need to put it back. What are you? A fucking book villain? You can’t even be original in your insults. Grow the fuck up!”
“Great. A tranny and a cripple. I can’t believe they put me in this cohort,” Harper huffs.
In the blink of an eye, Xenia is on top of Harper and grabs a fistful of her hair, pulling at it.
Harper is shouting profanities and I can feel anger taking over me. For some reason, I feel this… energy running through me. My hands are coiled into fists and my heart is pounding loudly.
“GUYS!” I bellow.
Everyone flinches.
They all look at me. Harper looks surprised. Xenia looks confused. Callie looks scared shitless. And Felix is just grinning, with their hands in their pockets.
“The fuck was that?” I ask Jamie.
“No idea,” she’s once again lying to me.
“Let’s go get ready for this dinner thingy, I can’t wait to look fancy,” I say to Xenia, trying to de-escalate the situation.
I’m convinced Xenia can take care of herself; I think I’m just trying to distract everyone from whatever that shout was.
We grab our stuff and go to the communal showers.
“All her hair is fake, I could feel it when I grabbed it. Basic bitch. She’s like a MAGA Karen,” Xenia says as we walk, loud enough for Harper to hear. We both laugh.
“I like you,” I smile at her.
“Me, too,” she says.
HOLDEN’S POINT OF VIEW All day long, Hendrix continues to get on my nerves. He’s mad we’re not taking the lead in the Cadet Program this year. He’s mad I’m “wasting my time” studying biochemistry instead of leading our people. He’s mad I’m not Alpha yet. He’s mad I’m not mated yet. He’s mad I’m not there welcoming the Cadets on their arrival. He’s mad I’m thinking in a human way. He’s mad I’m thinking too loudly. He might as well be mad I’m breathing. In previous years, while I was in college, I was able to take a more prominent role in the Program. Hendrix was very happy with that. Both of us are really passionate about improving the quality of life in Ghost Pack, and the Cadet Program is one way to do that. But, as a grad student, I’ll be less involved in the next few years. Within our territory, unbeknownst to most humans, we have a thriving town. We host a couple family-run markets, restaurants showcasing the cultural diversity in our pack, a small movie theater, apparel sto
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW As we get ready for the welcoming dinner, Felix, Xenia, and I get to know each other a bit better. It turns out Xenia’s father was born and raised here in Ghost Pack, then met his mate in Sol de Luna Pack, in Puerto Rico. The two of them lived there, and that’s where Xenia grew up. As the child of a Ghost Pack member, she was allowed to apply to the Cadet Program and decided to do so. She tried out FOUR TIMES and only now got accepted. She said she wasn’t the greatest at fighting, but she worked her ass off and made it. If she’s been accepted into the Program, that means she has to be good. And her commitment to it, training and trying out for four years? She’s definitely going to be an asset in this “not a competition” thing. I didn’t ask her about her glasses, though. I thought it would be rude. But I will figure it out. “Add that to the ever-growing list of things we need to learn about Wolfkind,” I tell Jamie. “Yes, ma’am,” she jokes. Felix grew
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW This should be the grandest moment of my life, because this awesome ass dinner is being thrown in my honor, in honor of all new Cadets. I should be giddy with excitement because I’m about to listen to Alpha Michael III welcoming me and thanking me for my service. I’m about to drink from his blood and pledge allegiance to his pack. My pack. I’m about to be part of a pack, the one thing I’ve always wanted. Instead, this is the grandest moment of my life and I’m giddy with excitement because mate mate mate mate mate mate. Mate! I don’t need to guess who my mate is. I don’t need anyone to tell me who my mate is. I can tell by his striking resemblance to Alpa Michael III and to the woman Felix called Alice. I can tell by his posture. I can tell by his huge ass aura. Oh, Goddess, his huge ass aura. Does he have a huge ass cock to match? Does he have A HUGE ASS? He’s perfect. I am Luna. I am Luna. I am Luna. I’m not only about to be part of a pack, but
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW “See ya!”?!? What the hell was that? Who the hell was that? The last thing I wanted to do was to say goodbye to him, to leave him. I wanted to mark him and spend the night making babies. What the fuck, Willow? Babies? I don’t want babies! Not now! Everything I’ve ever worked for, and dreamt of, is now just a shadow of an old dream, an empty shell. I wanted to be a great Cadet, to excel at fighting and college. I wanted to carve my spot in this pack, to fulfill my contractual obligations, and to live a regular, happy pack member life. Now, all I want is Holden. And I want him to want me. I desperately want him to want me. I want him to want me for me, not for the bond. I want him to fall in love with me, with who I am as a person. Because of me, not because of the bond. And that is why I left. “He seemed to want us pretty hard,” Jamie mumbles. “Yeah, to fuck. Would he want me as his mate, though?” I ask. “It doesn’t matter what he wants, he IS ou
HOLDEN’S POINT OF VIEW This wasn’t just the greatest sex of my life, this was the greatest sex in the history of the world. Her pussy felt like an embrace from the Goddess herself. I don’t ever want to come down from this high. The whole ceremony, all I can think about is what I’m going to do to her once it’s done. How I’m going to take her to my room and feast on her juices. How I’m going to bury myself into her over and over, and hear her sweet moans all night long. And then, everything comes crashing down. Everything comes crashing down when, while taking her oath, Willow’s stubborn eyes don’t turn grey, they shine bright yellow at us. I can feel it through the mate bond as the happiness she felt from the pack link shatters when she taps into my feelings. Does she think I don’t want her? Wait, do I want her? Of course, I want her. I need her. I want her so bad it’s driving me mad. Willow Katherine Reid. I can’t wait to say her name out loud, to taste it as it rolls off
HOLDEN’S POINT OF VIEW Nick and Father are waiting for me in his beautifully decorated office. The walls are covered by bookshelves made of blonde wood, and you can tell the books in there aren’t just for decoration. Father sits in his fancy velvet chair behind his behemoth of a desk, while Nick sits with his legs crossed in one of the smaller chairs across from the desk, his foot fidgeting with impatience. “Alpha,” I greet as I enter the room, and both men look at me. Nick’s eyes and sly smirk show amusement, while Father’s eyes show concern and rage. Well, I’m in for a shitshow. “Explain,” Father says impassively. “Which part?” I ask, trying to play dumb. “Is Willow your mate?” Father sighs exasperatedly, running his fingers through his hair. “Yes,” I reply, dryly. “Oooooooooooh,” Nick chimes in. Father gives him a stern look. “Did you mark her?” Father asks. He sounds exhausted. “No,” I say, my voice a bit higher than usual. “Did you do it?” Nick asks, wiggling
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW Once we get to the barracks, I lock myself in yet another washroom and let the waterworks run free. I weep and wail and sob. My mate regrets having sex with me. I met the most handsome man in the world, and we had the best sex of my life. And he regrets it. The one person who was tailor-made to me by the Goddess regrets having sex with me. He doesn’t want me. Fuck knowing me and wanting me for who I am, not even the mate bond is enough for Holden to want me. And I want him so fucking much. “He wants us, Willow,” Jamie whimpers. “He’s just in denial.” “Well, tough luck. If he doesn’t want me, I don’t want him, either,” I say. This mate bond wasn’t even supposed to happen, anyway. I’m on MBS. Cadets have their mate bonds suppressed so they won’t be distracted. Having Holden as a mate would just be a distraction. I’m going to be the best Cadet ever, and I’m going to carve out the life I’ve always dreamed of. There’s no space in my life for a mate who doesn
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW ****RATED R**** As I lay in my bunk bed, a plan starts to form in my head. I’m not giving up on my mate. Not now, not ever. “Hell yeah!” Jamie agrees. The bond is affecting him just as much as it affects me, and he will have to concede eventually. So, I decide to stop being this moping, fearing girl and go back to my confident boss-ass self. I wait for the right time, when everyone else is asleep. I can feel he’s still awake, though, the mate bond really is a gift. “Holden?” I reach him through the mind link. “Willow?” He sounds surprised. His husky voice is a sweet caress. “Yeah. I can’t sleep,” I say. This is weird and uncomfortable. First of all, I’m not used to mind linking anyone else but my parents and my brother. And I’m not at all close enough to Holden to just link him up in the middle of the night. But I’m sure of what I want, and I’m going to be bold and trust this bond. “Me, neither,” he murmurs. “Thinking of me?” I ask in a put-on