I stare in silent horror at the crumpled photos before me. They are printed on regular 8 x 11 printer paper which just adds to the terrible quality of the photos. But the images are clear enough to see my face as well as the people around me.
I lift a photo in a shaky hand. It's a girl between two boys. Something in my brain registers that it is me, but I'm not so sure I see it. The girl looks small and like she's made of glass, Her skin is pale and the hollow fear in her eyes breaks something inside of me that I didn't think could be broken further.
"Shea?" Luke's voice is like a distant echo, bouncing and reverberating around my head. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and it's enough of a shock that I tear my eyes away from the picture to find his face. I can feel myself retreating, something inside of my dissolving into nothingness.
I close my eyes, counting my breaths as Luke rubs my back softly making each of the scars tingle on my ba
Shea's lips are soft and warm, and even a simple kiss has my heart hammering relentlessly against my ribs. Her cheeks and chin are damp with tears and I kiss them away, brushing my lips against each cheek before working my way across her jaw and down her neck. Her breathing changes, becoming shallow gasps that brush across my shoulder. I savor the feel of her under my fingertips, dragging her against me even tighter. Maybe it's bad form, but if I can distract her for a few minutes... take away even a fraction of the pain that I can see buried in her eyes... "Luke..." My name from her lips sounds like music, like soft fingertips down my spine, like honey and whiskey, sweetly burning through my veins. "I'll stop if you want." She's quiet and then wraps her arms around my neck. "No," she whispers. "Don't." That's all I need. I plant my mouth on hers, urging her lips apart with my tongue as I walk her backward toward my bed. She sits when her knees hit the mattress, then she's scootin
I close my eyes and rest against Luke's body. My muscles feel like lead and I can barely roll over without my stomach muscles shaking a little. Part of me is mortified for the way I acted just now-brazen and lust-addled. I want to apologize for yanking his hair the way I did; I'm afraid if I apologize out loud, it will ruin the moment. "Are you sure you're okay?" Luke kisses my forehead, and when I look up at him, his eyes are a dark, swirling storm. "Did I do something wrong?"I shake my head, unsure of what to say. "No. No, you didn't. I guess my brain is just a bit fuzzy right now."He smirks down at me, "I think that probably means I did all of it right."I feel a flush creep up my neck and across my face. He definitely did something right. Luke scoots closer, pulling my naked body flush against his bare chest. He kisses me for a long time. It's slow and careful. At some point, though, I feel the hard length of him pressing against my stomach and I realize he did something for me
We get dressed, heading back down to where my sister and her girlfriend are giggling in the kitchen together. They fall silent as soon as we enter the kitchen and I can feel Shea trying not to shrink next to me. "Are you guys good?" Eva gives me a pointed look, and I'm pretty sure if either of us were to answer anyway, but yes, she would castrate me. "We're good." Shea answers for us. "Good." Eva breaks into a huge smile. "Shea, when were you going to tell me you were doing the horizontal tango with my brother?" I chance a look at Shea out of the corner of my eye as I wander to the fridge and open it. I'm not hungry, but I need something to do with my hands. Somehow, I feel like I'm not supposed to be here for this conversation. My sister smiles while Shea stares open-mouthed, and I busy myself moving the apples around in the plastic container in the fridge. Eva giggled as Shea fished for words. "It's not–" Shea starts. "Dude, I'm so happy for you! I know you both have been cru
The wind whips haphazardly through my hair as I make the short walk to school. It’s uncharacteristically warm for January, but the wind is still brutal. I yank my hood back up over my head, clutching the drawstrings of my hoodie against my chest to keep it in place. I quicken my pace, hoping to make it to the campus coffee shop in time to grab something to drink before the first bell rings.Four more months, that’s all that I have left. I can do this.When I reach campus, I veer toward the coffee shop in the middle of the class buildings, rushing into the small coffee shop, pulling my phone out of my pocket to see where Eva is, and if she wants me to get her anything. After sending off a quick text I step into the back of the line, waiting patiently for my turn. It seems like most of the kids in school had the same idea I did this morning. I look around aimlessly, taking in the cozy air of the coffee shop. People are mingling around, talking, and joking together. I’ve ne
The cool fall air brushes gently against my face, rustling the trees off in the distance. The sounds of the party behind me fell aggressively through the screen door tumbling into the backyard of the big house. I don't know why I came here. It's not like I know anyone, or have any desire to know anyone. So far, freshman year of high school has been boring, and I can't manage to bring myself to care.The red solo cup in my hands feels awkward and out of place. I pull my legs up under my body, sinking farther into one of the lawn chairs arranged on the deck of the house. The music pours aggressively through the open screen door, cascading in a disorganized stream of bass drops and some weird house music I've never been into. I can hear people inside laughing and screaming as they move through the house without inhibition.I close my eyes, leaning back into the chair. I should probably get going here soon, I didn't exactly tell my p
"What do you think of this dress?" Eva parades out of her closet in a beautiful navy blue knee-length dress. Her dark hair falls in silky waves down her back, and her eyes sparkle with their normal luster. This is the 5th dress she's tried on since we got to her house almost two hours ago."I think you look amazing."She sighs heavily, sinking onto the corner of her bed next to me. "You've said that about all of the dresses Shea! You aren't helping me decide in the slightest!" She shoves my shoulder playfully and I can't help but smile."Okay, fine... let me think..." I look at the small pile of dresses on the bed next to me. "I liked the red lace one on you best. It ma
Can't wait to see you tonight bb! x - TiffanyI type back a quick reply letting her know we will be leaving soon and I'll see her at the party. I scroll through social media absently, getting irritated. I'm regretting my choice to wait outside by the car for the girls. It's been almost ten minutes since Eva said she and Shea would be out in five minutes. Now that it was after six the air had an uncomfortable chill to it. I run my fingers through my hair in annoyance, looking back to the house again. Where the hell are they? Why does it have to take girls so damn long to get ready?Just then all of my irritation melts away as the front door opens and Shea and my sister step out. I feel an uncomfortable tightness form in my chest when Shea smiles
I hate it here.The moment Eva and I stepped into the house it was all I could do to not turn right back around and leave. Eva hadn't let go of my hand until we were deep inside the house and walking into the kitchen. It was like she could sense that I was ready to bolt. I couldn't tell if her touch was meant to be reassuring or a means by which she kept me hostage."Here." She said, handing me a bottle of water. We had established a long time ago that I didn't drink, and I was thankful she never expected me to explain myself, and she never pressured me to do anything I didn't want to. "Let's go sit in the dining room and you can help me make fun of all the couples sucking face."