Blake POV
Pressing my shaking fingers to the cool glass of my office window, I stare out at the inky sky. The moon is full and bright, rising high and bathing the land below in silver shards of light. The sounds of laughter and music filter in on the breeze. Everyone else is celebrating. They’re excited for the pack run, where all the wolves in my territory gather to run free through the secluded forest that is our home. It’s a chance to reconnect with friends and with nature, to feel free and go wild, and enjoy what we are.
Normally, I live for this night. No matter how busy I am, I make sure I get home to join in and bond with the wolves I don’t always get to see day to day.
But not tonight. Or for the last 6 months, if I’m honest with myself. And as the Alpha of this pack, that’s not a good thing. And as the Alpha over all the packs in the region, it’s a distinctly bad thing.
I rub my sweaty palm across the back of my neck and try to calm my racing heart. Adrenaline courses through my veins and I struggle to catch my breath. It’s been days since I’ve had more than a couple of hours of sleep. Insomnia forces me to walk the floorboards or return to my office at some godforsaken time of night to distract myself.
There is something seriously wrong with me and it’s getting harder to hide it. I blink away the bright spots in front of my eyes, shaking my head to clear the sluggishness from my brain. Given it’s getting progressively worse and comes back at each pack run, it’s obvious what it is. Moon madness.
“Is it bad?” Max asks from behind me. I didn’t even sense him coming, providing yet more evidence that I am slipping.
I nod without turning, unable to face my beta, and see the sympathy and worry that I know will be etched on his face. We’re like brothers, and I’ve watched him become increasingly anxious as he witnesses me falling apart before his very eyes. To the outside world, they might not yet have noticed, but I can’t get anything past Max. He knows my calm demeanor is all a facade at this point. There’s no use in pretending. I need his help.
“They’ll know I’m sick if I run. I won’t be able to control my wolf. Make up something, a council meeting or whatever, and I’ll go to the cabin for a couple of days until it passes.”
“And will it pass?” he asks, not questioning my decision to abstain from the pack run for the first time. That tells me I’m further gone than even I thought. My trusted friend isn’t trying to convince me I should stay and ride it out, because he knows I’m past that point. If anyone gets a whiff of this, my position will become untenable and the questions will be endless.
I sigh and turn slowly, flexing my hands out in front of me and concentrating on stopping the trembling, but it doesn’t work. He leans casually in the doorway, head tilted to one side as he observes me. Max’s eyes fix on my twitching fingers and his lips press together tightly. He holds my gaze, but I can’t keep focused, and my eyes flit around the room. When they return to me, it’s the first time I’ve seen him looking genuinely scared. Ever. And we’ve been through some dangerous situations together.
“You just have to do it,” he says simply. “I know you don’t want to hear it, Blake. And I really am sorry. I know it’s not what you want, but this has gone on for too long.”
Max looks at me expectantly, tattooed arms folded over his chest, but I stay silent and turn back toward the window, looking out over the dark forest that surrounds the packhouse. She’s out there somewhere, waiting for me to come to her. And she’s close, so close I can feel it. Taste it. I can’t bring myself to give up on her when I know she’s near.
Then again, maybe that’s the madness talking. Maybe my mind is already playing tricks on me.
“Goddamn it, you stubborn bastard,” he spits out, exasperated. “Blake, there’ll be no coming back if you let this go on for too long. And I’ll be the one who has to deal with the fallout.” Max clamps his big hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn and face him. To see his anguish. To hear the truth in his words.
If anyone else grabbed me that way, I’d rip their arm off. But he’s right to be upset. Cruelly, it would be up to my best friend to make the call on when to put me down, before I become a real danger to my pack or the public.
Of course, there’s a simple solution for a mateless Alpha in their late thirties. Give up on my fated mate and take a chosen one instead. It’s the only surefire way to save my life. But at what cost? It would be different if I had someone that I loved and that I could choose as my mate. That’s not the case. It would have to be a mating of convenience. And I’m not sure I could live with that.
Ducking into the walk-in closet off to the side of my office, I grab an overnight bag and shove a couple of changes of clothes inside. Coming back out, I add some bottles of water from the fridge and a bottle of whiskey from the shelf.
“Tell Jenna where she can reach me if she really needs to get in touch, but make it clear that I need privacy.”
Max’s jaw clenches as I pass him on my way out the door. For a second, I think he’s going to stop me and make me talk about it. The words that he is holding back hang heavily in the air between us. He thinks I’m making the wrong decision. We’ve spoken about it before, but that was when it was all hypothetical and way down the line. Not with the threat of moon madness breathing down my neck. He called me old-fashioned and a sappy romantic for wanting to wait for her.
I think the names he would call me now are probably a little less complimentary.
Max has always been open to the idea of taking a chosen mate and could do so without dwelling on what might have been. I wish I could be like that, but I’ve seen the fated mate bond, seen the magic, the intensity, and the joy. And I want that.
I still have hope that I can. It might be just a glimmer, but I won’t give up. What kind of mate would I be if I did?
I’ll roll the dice one more time. And hopefully, it’s not Max who has to pay the price for my gamble.
Zoe POVSliding out of the red vinyl booth with an enormous sigh, I rub a hand over my belly and groan. It's so swollen I can barely breathe. I drop the receipt back onto the table, along with a few notes from my pocket, and stretch. My aching muscles protest. They had been hoping they could finally give up for the evening and rest at last, but we still have to make it back home. “Earl, what are you trying to do to me?!” I moan while flashing him a big grin as he comes out of the kitchen to stand at the counter. He rests his large hands flat on the pale grey surface as he admires his handiwork. This man loves nothing more than to fill people to bursting. I was on my way back from a call out to assist with a foaling mare when the flashing lights of Earl’s diner called out to my rumbling stomach and lured me in. Dinner and two pieces of pie later, I’m thinking I would have been better off with the boring sandwich I had originally planned to inhale before falling into bed. I'm so full I
Blake POVMy wolf gradually calms down the further I get away from the packhouse, whereas really, with the pack run going on without us, he should be itching to get back and run alongside his friends. I try not to dwell on what that might mean as I drive, turning the radio up and enjoying a rare moment of solitude. Being Alpha of a pack of rowdy wolves, and living in the main packhouse, means I am never truly alone. And since taking over as the head Alpha for the region, things have gotten significantly more hectic. With ten packs under my watch, there is always something that needs to be done.I love it. It’s what I wanted. I worked so hard to get that position and I remember the satisfaction I felt when I found out that the council had chosen me. But there is always a price to pay for success, and that price is privacy. Even when I’m locked in my office or my living quarters, there is always someone or something waiting for me. Work to be finished. I haven’t had a day off since I st
Blake POVEven though I know she’s not here, I can’t help scanning the aisles of the store as I enter, searching for her. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I can hear my blood rushing in my ears. Her smell is setting my body on fire. Every cell is tingling in anticipation of meeting her, and the hair is standing up on the back of my neck.I shake out my hands, trying to ease some of the tension firing through me. She’s not here, I repeat to myself, and if I don’t calm down, I’ll miss something that might tell me who or where she is. When I reach the counter, the kid still has his wide eyes fixed firmly on me and his fingers grip the counter tightly. If he has an alarm under there, I'd say he's about two seconds away from pressing it. I must be throwing out some angry alpha vibes to be making him so nervous so I try to reign in my emotions as best I can. Using one hand, I smooth down the front of my shirt, drawing his attention to the expensive suit I’m wearing and the watch on my
Zoe POV My mind races as I run through all my options. There aren’t many. Maybe because I’m driving his jeep, I try to think about what my brother would do. He wouldn’t just meekly wait to see what the creepy driver wants, that’s for sure. But I’m no fighter. I need to get myself somewhere safe, but my nearest neighbours are too far away to run for it. Fuck it. With only a half-baked idea in the back of my head, I press my foot to the floor, grateful for the sudden acceleration driving a manual allows, and take off, bouncing over the pothole-filled laneway. I have no elaborate plan other than to get inside, lock the door, and call the police. And pray that they happen to be nearby. A quick glance in my mirror tells me I’ve caught whoever it is off guard. Any lingering hope I had that this is a customer and that they’re going to think I’m nuts for driving like a crazy woman is dashed when I see them pick speed. I’ve extended the distance between us. Not by much, but hopefully, it’s
Blake POVNormally, I am a man of my word. Tonight, however, I leave Earl’s diner and drive straight to the vet practice that Zoe owns, fully intending to go back on the promise I just made. I won’t try to see her tonight. I want our first meeting to be special, but there is absolutely no way I can just drive back to the cabin without at least seeing where she lives. Zoe, my mate. I love how that sounds. It’s heaven to finally know her name. The woman who already owns me, heart, body, and soul.Grinning to myself, I whistle and drum my fingers on the steering wheel to some imaginary tune as I follow the winding road out of town. I am perfectly content, or in all honesty, excited, about the prospect of sleeping in my car tonight, once I can be close to her. Cooper, one of the Alphas under my command, once told me how he used to sleep in the woods outside his mate Hayley’s house when they first met, just to keep his wolf calm. That never made sense to me before, but it does now.Six mo
Zoe My fingers touch my lips gently as I sit back down, dazed, behind my desk and fire up the feed to my cameras again. They still tingle where he kissed me. I don't think I've ever reacted like that to a man. Particularly a bossy man. Who I don't know. In the middle of a robbery. After I shot him with a tranquilizer dart. Before he went out to protect me, drugged up to his eyeballs. I don’t need the butterflies in my stomach or the goosebumps on my skin to know that this man is different. I watch him stand tall and face the two men bravely. His stance is relaxed and confident, but in his expensive suit and immaculate white shirt, he looks more like a high-priced lawyer than a brawler. I can barely watch as the first of the thugs takes a threatening step toward him, crowbar bouncing against the palm of his other hand menacingly. Tattoos snake down his wrists and out from the edge of his sleeves. A distinctive jagged scar runs down the side of his neck. These aren't kids looking to
Zoe A gigantic, dark grey wolf is lying passed out on my clinic floor, injured. Just when I thought we were over the crazy part of this night. I’ve never seen a wolf up close before. The vet part of my brain is in awe. The rest of me is looking out the window at the full moon, putting two and two together, and making ten. I’d like to think there is a reasonable explanation, but for the life of me, I cannot think of anything that is going to explain this. Other than the obvious. Which is that the man I just kissed is a werewolf. An image of Blake lying in the same spot just seconds ago flashes into my mind, but I push that away. I need to focus. I can freak out and worry about my sanity later. The drugs pumping through his system mean he’s not dangerous, for now anyway. As I edge closer, trying to get a look at his hind leg, I can admire how magnificent he is. Thick grey fur covers his body. He’s in perfect condition. Except for the deep cut still oozing bright red blood out onto h
BlakeAs I uncurl my stiff body, I bury my nose deeper into the soft blanket that smells like heaven. The fog clears from my brain, and the cold air and hushed voices drifting underneath the door bring me back to my senses. I sit up slowly and fight back the wave of nausea that washes over me. I squint against the bright lights of what appears to be a utility room and rub a hand over my head, trying to figure out how I got in here.The last thing I remember was propping myself up against the door to Zoe’s office, struggling to keep my eyes open, and praying that I wouldn’t shift to heal once the drugs kicked in. Given I’m stark naked, I can safely assume that’s exactly what happened.Feeling groggy, I haul myself to my feet, but one of my legs gives way and I land hard on my knee on the tiled floor. I bite back a curse and I try again, this time gripping the countertop beside me to pull myself up to standing. A dull ache in my leg draws my attention to the neat row of stitches I can f