46. Erasure

-Christian-

Life is moving in slow motion, everything is still happening as if I didn’t lose my purpose for living.

The morning after I kicked Leia out, it took everything in me not to call her back or answer her calls. I wanted to beg her to come back, that I’ll put everything behind us if she forgave me and still loved me.

But my pride stopped that.

Her scent was still all over my penthouse so I immediately had her things packed up and taken away. I wanted no sign that she lived here, I wanted every trace of her removed from my life. But I couldn’t be an asshole and have her things left outside, so I had them pack it all away.

Now my penthouse is an empty shell once again; it doesn’t even smell like Leia anymore.

It’s been two months since I saw Leia last, two months since I removed her from my life, and two months since I’ve touched alcohol. The smell of it reminds me of the ugly things I said to her, and I am already stewing in my guilt as it is.

I’m never home anymore. I always