It was over now. Everything was. All the pain that I felt should have been too. I wondered why it didn’t. The weapon of my choice clattered to the ground as I let go of it. And it slipped so easily. The drowning blood making it easier to do so. It was all over.I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t even know how to breathe anymore. Everything was just empty and didn’t make sense at all. And why would they? Everything was over. It was just empty and I was numb. Falling into a deep abyss of nothingness. Just a dark mass with no end, no walls, only gravity. Or a pull with no direction. Or maybe I was floating while flailing my arms breathlessly.The limbo lasted for an unmeasurable amount of time before I got pulled back by a soft humming. One that hit too hard that I couldn’t even brace myself against it. “Wandering child of the earth Do you know just how much you're worth? You have walked this path since your birth You were destined for more There are those who'll tell you you'r
"You are weak, weak and pathetic." She didn't lift her face, hiding behind the curtain of hair. It was her only shield, one so feeble and fragile but perhaps hiding her emotions was of more priority. "You are such a shame and disgrace to our family. Have you ever thought about us? How could you when you are too busy being selfish." Yes indeed, it hurt and the heaviness was too much on these weak shoulders that they couldn't help but crumble down. The urge to call someone for help clenched her heart, but she knew no one in this house would do so. For a seven-year-old, she felt like she was very dumb since she didn't know what she did wrong to earn this punishment. It has been four years now, and she still doesn't know. She was used to the pain that she felt in her bones and muscles. It was a daily routine now. As soon as the hands of the clock paused at eight in the evening every day, she tried to brace herself for what was about to come but it never helped.
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have no feelings at all? No happiness, no sadness, no evilness, nothing. Just like trees. They don't feel anything at all, and they are okay with it because they never experienced anything emotional. Any ways, they don't have an option. But we do. So what happens when you are numb and there is nothing left at all? I never hurt myself because I felt dead, I did because I didn't. The pain inside had swallowed everything and it just won't stop. It wanted to get out and tear through my skin. The waves surging inside wanted to break through, and so I had to let it. I had to pick up the blade and drag it across myself and see the blood ooze out of the gashes. At that moment, there was no wrong or right, the devil was not sitting on my shoulder and neither was conscience. It was just me trying to help myself. Death, I never wanted to kill myself nor show anyone how broken I am. So my thighs seemed to be the better canvas for
Are they supposed to be forgotten? Forgiven for all those times when tears drowned those eyes. Those sleepless nights all alone Lying on the bed with the stained pillows. Crying and laughing and crying again For the fate that has chosen A life that never ends. **** I woke up to the flash of bright light falling on my closed eyelids. The urge to open them and see what's happening was immense but the strange heaviness that possessed them made it impossible for me to do so. Perhaps I could use my hands to help me but alas they were tied up but not on top of my head like before. Instead, they were painfully arched back and held together with something that had severe sharp teeth for grip and the more I tried to struggle, the more my hands bled. My legs were in the same condition. Needless to say, I was tied up with zip ties. Slowly parting my lips, I tried to call for help but was soon interrupted by the ine
Bang... Bang... BANG! The deafening slam of the metal rod on the cold hard floor shook me every time he slammed it down. Sometimes he would do so with such force that the ground beneath would shiver under his wrath. Even that unmoving smirk on his face screamed volumes than his words or actions did. "I remember the first time I saw you. With that small little smile and those big teary eyes, you looked so fragile and broken. Your need to hide everything behind that pretty face was what drew me closer to you." His calloused fingers slowly dragged from my right shoulder to my left as he came by and stood behind me. I had no idea where this was headed to or what he wanted it to head to. His words confused me more by each passing second and no matter what, I couldn't find any memories of what he claimed had happened. "It was Christmas Eve. You and your family came to our house for dinner. Shy and quiet with your head bowed down by an invisi
Maybe it was the close proximity I shared with him or perhaps it was the poor ventilation in the dark empty room but whatever it was, I couldn't breathe any more. It's like at that moment I didn't know how to. The ability to concentrate or focus on anything was absolutely impossible when that taunting piece of past dangled in front of my eyes so hauntingly. For a moment it almost seemed like an illusion, something my mind had concocted out of its own accord in such a stressful and panicking situation. But... I wanted it to be a lie, I hoped it was and so the urge to touch and feel and believe that polaroid's true presence, with slightly yellowing edges, was immense. At the same time, I wanted it nowhere near me. I wanted to burn it, to tear it into bits and pieces, to destroy it because it triggered a longforgottenor rather suppressed memory that I never wanted to resurface up again. Say cheese!!! That sickly sweet voice rang in my ears and tore t
"Say cheese!" My mother who seemed unusually excited chimed in her shrill voice to grab the attention of the room full of people, standing in scattered small clusters, as she took pictures of them and their loud smiles. A moment captured in time forever, a memory which would hardly ever be recalled again but it succeeded in achieving what she wanted. To show how happy and silly we were. The truth? Not so much. That was the point. These pictures, these happy smiles, these parties, it has always been the point. To avoid suspicion, to act normal, to blend in. Getting people's affirmations felt like having a subconscious conscience where everything they did was justified, and they knew that if something ever happened then they will always be supported by these people who didn't know the harsh reality of their true faces. She tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as for a moment her facade broke and with that still pearly white smile on her
The cold touch of something stroking my bare arm rose a trail of goosebumps in its wake and left me shivering. It was a moment of oblivion, a welcome one since I didn't know where I was, who I was with. At that moment the man with the green eyes didn't exist and neither did his unthinkable and unpredictable plans saved for me. This stage in between consciousness and unconscious was the most relief I could possibly have and live in and although it lasted for a few seconds, I was left with the yearning for more before I opened my eyes and faced the inevitable reality of being caged in the arms of my captor. The warmth of his breath fanned my bare neck, shuddering the wisps of my unkempt hair back and forth. I dared not to breathe at all and clenched my eyes shut in the hopes of falling into the darkness of sleep again, but it was all in vain. I heard him smirk behind me as his ice-cold fingers kept trailing and drawing figures on my arm which I couldn't quite understand.