BEFORE
Luc
It has been one month since I last spoke to my soulmate. He would not take my calls. And neither will be reply my messages. He is never at home when I go to check on him. His sister would give me some excuse like he went for basketball practice or went shopping with his mother or sleeping at a friend's house.
I become more and more frustrated and desperate as the days turn into weeks. I have no one to talk to about this. Lily will not understand. What the hell does she know about love? And Precious will ask him to forget him and move on but how can I when he is the only boy I truly love?
I drank more often, draining my flask quickly in big, gulps. I could barely sleep at night, staring at the ceiling until daybreak. I rarely went for my lectures, staying back home after my parents, Lily and Krystal had left for school.
When I told Precious how lowly I had sank, she
AFTERDear Luc,Today is your birthday. You would have turned nineteen today. We would have thrown a party for you. The love of your life would have been invited, Jacob and James would have come, Precious would have worn something sexy and I would have snuck Esther in.Dad would have bought vanilla cake with resins and cherries. The icing would be thick and so sweet it would be almost bitter, just the way you liked it. Mum would have cooked fried rice and fried chicken for the party. We would have been allowed to take lite beer and diluted sips of vodka and whiskey. Cartons of fruit juice and soft drinks would have been in abundance. And our parents would have excused us and retired to their rooms.We would have played music from the stereo. Not too loud to wake Krystal from sleep but loud enough to get ourselves hyped.I might had danced. Let myself go and get tipsy. I
THE DAYLily"Are we there yet?" I asked. My butt is burning for sitting in one place for too long. I am sandwiched between Precious and James. Joseph and Jacob are sitting behind while Luc is sitting in front with the driver.When Luc had announced she would be throwing me a birthday party at Ibeno beach resort, my first instinct was to laugh, sure that Luc will not go out of her way like that. When I saw the invitation cards she was printing and giving out to people I went to school with, go to school with and don't talk to anymore. I was even more shocked when she told me that she would hiring a DJ and a caterer. She later told me that the party was an apology to me, for all the bad things she had been doing to me. I sobbed on her shoulder."Here," James said handing a banana and a cone of roasted groundnut over to me."We will get there soon!" The driver told me. Lily is paying him t
AFTERLilyMum scowls every time she sees me in Luc's room.She probably feels I will condemn the place with my Lily-ness and all traces of Luc's Luc-ness will be lost. It is one of the things she and Dad fought about during their numerous post-Luc's death fights.After the funeral, Dad wanted me to move into Luc's room so Krystal will have the bedroom we share to himself but Mum would not let it happen, over her dead body. I secretly sided Mum. I don't want to sleep in Luc's room. I still dream about her. Sometimes in the dreams I have, she is alive and stable – the way she was before she attempted suicide – but sometimes, she is dead. Stiff and unmoving. She would try to pull me down with her into her watery grave. I would wake up screaming, my whole body covered in sweat and shaking with sobs. If I sleep in Luc's room, her ghost will kill me.
AFTERLilyPeople think it was suicide but I know it was murder. Suicide was not Luc's way.She had once attempted suicide. It landed her in the hospital and she pinky swore that she would never do it again.Besides, Luc could not have drowned herself because her body was found on the shore, but nobody else thought that, nobody seemed to notice how odd her death was. Everyone accepted the fact that she had died, no questions asked.Her death changed everything; Mum cut her hair, Dad became distant, Krystal stopped being the vibrant chatterbox he once was and I avoided everyone.I became withdrawn and stopped talking to people, even severed the small connections I had. Everyone wanted to know how. They would ask me for details I did not want to give. People that did not know Luc would cry as if she was their best friend. Neighbours came over to offer their con
BEFORELucieLily and I laid patiently on the springy double bed we shared waiting for Dad's snore. Outside, a blue-black blanket of sky shone with mesmerising stars. Mesmerising was a new word I learnt in English class. It means something very beautiful it puts you in a trance, something hypnotising. Trance was also a new word I'd learnt.Once I heard Dad's snore, I tapped Lily even though I know that she was not asleep. "It's time, Lily. Dad is asleep.""What about mummy? What if she is not sleeping?" Lily asked and I wished Mummy snored too."Let's just... Risk it." I liked the word risk.Lily did not argue, it was one of the things I loved about her. She was my partner in crime and a faithful follower, the best sister anyone could ask for.The wind howled outside the sliding glass window, lighting flashed through our curtains and a rumble of thunder
AFTERLilyWhen I was thirteen, I drank alcohol for the first time. I immediately loved the taste, the burn in my throat, the warmth in my belly and the tingle in my belly. I loved the sensation of walking on clouds after many swigs. It is a distant memory.The last time I went to Luc's happy place was months before her death. It is an abandoned building on a hill close to a small river.I was lying on my bed groaning like a woman in labour because of the terrible menstrual cramps I was suffering when Luc barged in with a thick cloud of vanilla around her. She looked at me and wrinkled her nose like I was the most irking thing ever."You smell edible," I said. It just flowed out my mouth, "like ice cream.""It's my perfume." She walked to me and pulled me up, "get dressed, puppet. I want us to go somewhere special!"I was naked from the waist up. T
AFTERLilyThe foamy waves crash noisily against the bank. It is a beautiful sight.The wind tousles my hair and the scent of the ocean is so intoxicating like rich wine,I take more steps towards the calling ocean.My toes are caked with wet sand and goosebumps decorate my arms due to the coldbut I keep walking until I am ankle-deep in the bone-chilling water.The water is a dark grey colour, almost black.And the sky is the same colouras the ocean so they bleed into each other at the horizon.I know I should not go deeper,I'll drown, I can't swim.But I do.I take another step,then another and anotheruntil I'm knee-deep in the water. The hem of my black summer dress is already soak.I hear my name in the waves,it sounds like a g
BEFORELucThe day I met Joseph, I immediately knew that we were soulmates. I felt it in my bones, I knew it in every cell of me. I had never felt the same way about another guy. My other romances were sporadic and brief. A few kisses here and there, meaningless text messages and unimpressive dates. Joseph was different, I just knew it.When he bought me a silver ring with my name, Lucinda, etched inside the band for our one month anniversary, I promise him that I'd never take it off and I kept my promise.Maybe it was his rare emerald eyes hooded by thick lashes or maybe it was the way his dimples sank when he smiled or laughed. Whatever it was, I was smitten from the moment I set my eyes on him and have been besotted ever since.That day, Precious arrived my house with her bikini in her handbag, it was a Sunday and that meant we hang out at the swimming pool in any hotel we wish to unt