003

CLYONE

My forehead was lightly creased as I turned my head to my left side where the door of the balcony was when I heard a rumbling of thunder. The sky is in shade of gray that made the surroundings quite dark. It seems like it's going to rain anytime. Sympathizing with this one lovesick girl here, I guess. The weather was fine when I left my house and even when I arrived here. But now, it's just as gloomy as my mood.

I stood up from the bed, not averting my eyes from the gloomy sky, and walked over the balcony. Why is it everytime I'll walk, it always have this heavy feeling as if someone's stopping me to move? When I reached the balcony floor, the first thing I saw was the fort we made at the corner of the frontyard. It was placed next to the white wooden fence. It's not that different from the fort we made in the living room except for it was made of tent for protection in rain and it was empty. Only the pillows and blankets were inside because you told me to keep the significant stuffs inside so we won't lose them. Funny how we're talking about robbery now after what happened. What else could they steal here? A ghost playing around because they have nowhere to go, so they chose to live in an abundant home?

I sighed as I placed my both elbows at the top of the parapet and leaned down with my eyes not leaving the fort. It was the first day of the so-called vacation when that fort was made.

My forehead creased when I face my right side where you are supposed to be laying as I grope for your presence. I felt nothing. I opened my eyes, brows are both furrowed. You weren't really there, just an empty space. But I could smell a bacon being cooked.

I shut my eyes again as I waited myself to stop from dozing off. What even the time is? It's probably too early to get up. I could still feel the cold breeze embracing me. I hope your attitude will not be as cold as the breeze today and from yesterday.

After a while, I sighed as I looked over my left side where the window was. The glasses remained closed, but the curtain was set to the side that allowed the sunbeams to peek inside. I raised my left hand and blocked the sunlight that's hitting my face and got up. I feebly walked in the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Afterwards, I walked downstairs only to smell more of the cooked bacon.

I stood at the kitchen doorframe and leaned my side on it. I stared at you with my arms both crossed. You are now placing what you are cooking from the frypan to the plate on the countertop. I smiled when you raised your head and noticed me. You smiled back. It felt like my heart jumped out of my chest. It wasn't just a smile nor a sly one. It was a huge one; the usual cheerful smile you'd usually show me.

"I made you breakfast!" I let out a chuckle as I walk up to you. Instead of sitting across the countertop, I walked next to you. I gave you a hug which you gladly accepted. You're still freezing.

"Guess you're back now." You nodded vigorously that made me laugh. At least I got to see you being back to that cheerful guy I used to know after a weird and terrifying night.

"Let's eat breakfast and make a plan for the vacation, yeah?"

"Sure." I lightly poked your nose that caused you for giggling. You, then, tightened the hug as you came closer for a quick peck. But when you were about to back away, I didn't let you go. Please, I never got a real kiss last night for a whole day.

I cupped both of your cheeks as I pressed my lips on you. You didn't say nor do anything except for chuckling between the kiss as you pressed yourself harder as well. Before I could even move my lips to claim yours, you already did. It always taste the same, but feels different today. It was soft and sweet, probably because of the milk you drunk earlier, but not as warm as it always feels. It's freezing. But I was longing for that kiss so why even complain if I could just cherish the moment?

Cherish. A word I should've put in my mind when I was on your vacation.

I giggled as you carried me to the countertop. You stood in between my legs as your hug tightened on my waist. You keep pressing yourself harder. I guess someone's craving for kisses more than I do. 

Sooner, one of your hands went down to my hips and made their way to my legs. Every tip of your fingers that would touch my skin gives a different kind of tiny spark that tickles my whole system. Even though we've done this many times, the touches always gives different feeling. Until they reached the hem of my shorts. The tip of your fingers already entered inside, but my body was too fast to react. I quickly held your hand to stop it from moving and pulled away from the kiss. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was your chestnut brown eyes staring to my soul.

"Why did we stopped?" you asked almost in a whisper. I smiled as I wrapped my arms to your neck.

"Bacon is the breakfast, not me." You chuckled as your hands from my leg went back to my waist. I pulled you closer and leaned the side of my head on your shoulder.

"You made me really worried last night," I whispered. Your hug tightened as you placed your chin at the top of my head.

"That's why I'll make it up for the rest of the week."

Right, a week. A week that I wish could last; maybe for the rest of our lives. Because guess  what? A week is not enough to prepare myself for a special person's disappearance.

I sighed. You pulled away and touched my both hands instead as you stared straight to my eyes. My lips formed into a light pout. I guess you knew what's the face all about. The mysteries about the vacation and whatever happened last night.

"Don't be sad. I'll cry if you won't stop."

"Because why can't you just say what's going on now? Why do we need to wait for a week?" You beamed. Your right hand lifted my chin as my face remained upset, but obeyed you still.

"You'll regret it once something disappear the next day after I tell you the truth." My head hung low, but you caressed my left leg to assure me that everything's fine. Well, only that week. After I found out the truth, I don't think anything could make my day any better.

Just visiting this home of memories and reminiscing now already made my deppressive day way more deppressive.

"The food's getting cooler. We should eat them now," you said, almost a whisper. Guilt was plastered over your tone. You better be. You just left a lovesick girl here reminiscing the memories you made with her.

"Hmm?" you asked in a reassuring tone as your face came closer, staring straight to my eyes.

"I'll make it up with you. I love you." You gave me a soft and quick peck before carrying me out of the countertop. I held your arms as my support. When my feet reached the floor, I let go with the hold and walked away without saying a thing.

"Clyone," you called in a soft tone with a mixture of silent whining. You tried to reach for my hand, but the moment your skin touched mine, I quickly moved it away. But your body was too quick to react. You immediately took my other hand to pull me closer from behind. Then you gave me a hug from the back. I struggled to get out from your grip, but your embrace was too strong for me to fight.

"Please don't be stubborn. I don't want to go yet," you whispered to my right ear.

Sigh. You don't want to go yet, so do I. Right. Because if you tell me right away, then you have to go right away as well. What to expect after finishing a mission? If you were asked to do something, then you have to do exactly what you were told. We can't break rules because rules from there to here are different.

But my stubbornness continued.

"You said let's eat. So, stop from stopping me as well." You softly squeezed the both sides of my waist before pulling mo along with you as you walk towards the table.

You pulled a chair for me which I gladly accepted, but still had the guts to roll my eyes on you. Then you walked to the opposite side of the table.

"I'm still trying to cook the sausages right." You laughed as you sat down to your own seat. I couldn't help but laugh together. You know how to cook a bacon and an egg, but that doesn't mean they are that good, but passable instead. Aside from the two, you know how to cook a sausage too, but that doesn't mean it's really cooked. Whenever you fry one, it's either only the outside part would be cooked and the inside part would remain raw and cool, or it would be overcooked. You just can't cook it right and still learning.

Somehow, someway, I missed your cook of my sausages for every breakfast. Raw yet made with effort. Overcooked because you wanted the best, so it's still made with effort.

"Good?" you asked as you raised your thumb while smiling on your seat. I playfully rolled my eyes before I nodded. You laughed even harder, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling as well.

Oh, how I missed that sound of your laughter so much.

"Yeah!" you even screamed together with your laugh. So, we ended up fixing the short argument.

After the breakfast with a euphoric chitchat, we cleaned up. After we cleaned up, I went to the living room while you made your way back to your room. It only took you a few moment to come back with a piece of paper and a pen.

"What's that?" I asked, both brows are furrowed.

"Didn't I mentioned about the plan for the vacation?"

Right, the vacation. The vacation where you made memories in every part of this freaking house that made it hard for me to look now, because wherever I look, it's always your face that I could see. Why would you make it euphoric yet tormenting? Such a bittersweet tragedy.

"Since we're only spending it here at home, I have a lot to say. But your opinion matters the most," you said whilst walking up here at the sofa I am sitting. 

You sat next to me while still holding the pen and paper. Then, you bend down to place both what you're holding on the coffee table. You wrote down something at the top in the middle of the paper before looking at me.

"But you know I'm not fond of doing such things," I replied back as I placed my right elbow at the top of the couch then held my head with that hand. You're an extroverted person while I'm an introverted one.

"But the vacation is meant for you, so the main purpose is to make you enjoy."

"Then you should've asked me to leave the town instead!" I took the throwpillow behind me and hitted you with it, but you immediately blocked it with your hand. It caused the both of us to laugh.

"I want to spend the remaining days with you!" you shouted that made me stop. My brows arched to form a furrow. I remained silent and that made you realized what you just said.

"Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?" you asked almost in a whisper.  I heaved out a sigh and leaned my back on the couch.

"Saying weird stuffs and lies. You're not dying or something."

You're not dying because... sigh. I can't even say the word.

"I mean, Clyone, we only live once. So, we should spend the vacation as if it's our last." I rolled my eyes.

"You're not BLACKPINK to spend the vacation as if it's your last." You let out a chuckle.

Your attention diverted to the paper at the top of the table. Then you started to write while saying each word you are writing.

"First on the list, picnic."

"Oh, I love that! Backyard is the perfect set up! Oh! And barbecues in the night! We should grill some barbecues!" You laughed as you stared at me while saying what I wanted. I just can't stop adoring that sincere and cheerful smile of yours.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle. You remained staring whilst smiling. Then you nodded with your eyes still focused on me.

"I love you." How I missed that soft tone of your voice. I wish I saved a lot of voice records of you, so I could listen to them now that you're not around to let me hear it close with you.

I ruffled your hair and smiled while your lips remained smiling as well. You took my hand I used to mess your hair. You interlocked your fingers before you diverted your attention back to the paper. You spoke every word you wrote again.

"After picnic in the morning, we'll grill barbecues in evening. Then, stargaze at the rooftop. Make scrapbooks. Fort. Home theatre. Karaoke." I furrowed my brows as I watched you to write. Later on, I left out a soft chuckle that made you threw a look on me.

"What?" you asked, still on your writing position, and beamed.

"Why am I expecting activities like snorkeling?" I asked between my laughs. You laughed along. For real, why did I even? We're spending a vacation at home, so obviously it would be something similar to what a person will do at home.

"What? You wanted us to dig at the backyard and fill it with water from the faucet?" you asked in between your laughs as well. I couldn't help but laugh even harder. Geeze.

"Do you want to dig a corpse instead? There must be one at the backyard." I hit you on your shoulder and laugh harder, not noticing the seriousness in your eyes despite of beaming on me.

You must be serious with the corpse thingy, but the thing is that the corpse was not kept on the backyard. It's somewhere else.

"Romantic bubble bath is too plain, but I want to do it with you. Can we?"

"Bubble bath?" I asked with furrowed brows. You straightened your back, not looking away from my eyes with your lips still smiling. You leaned at the couch and nodded.

I stood up, bent down a little, held my both knees and started to twerk.

"Bubble butt. Bubble, bubble, bubble, butt."

"Clyone!" you scolded as you spanked my buttocks. You pulled me by the top hem of my short and made me sit on your lap. We couldn't stop laughing. That's probably one of the best laughter of yours, or maybe every moment you laugh is my favorite. They tickles my ears.

"Bubble bath! A bathtub filled with water and bubbles! Ahhh!" you screamed near my ear as I cackled. Am I tormenting you with my foolishness? Well, you better know that you are tormenting me with this bittersweet memories as well.

"Continue with the list. I want to hear your plans," I hugged your arms that were snaked around my waist as I leaned on you. You leaned at the couch as well as you let yourself be my support from lying.

"Honestly, I just want to make memories on that week vacation." My smile dropped as the laughter got replaced with silence. Only your soft tone lingered in my ears.

"Convince me that you're not dying, that's why you're doing this."

"I'm not, but who knows? You could be sleeping with a corpse since last night."

I turned my face on you. We stared to the soul of each other.

My eyes probably didn't tricked me that night. You were giving hints, but I was too scared to know and find out the truth, so I keep silent. Claps for that because if I let my stubbornness ate me, I'll never hear a proper goodbye.

"I'll rely the vacation on you. I want you to list down whatever you wanted us to do," I said, ignoring you. 

What's the purpose of questioning your weird phrases if I'm not getting an answer anyway? Why would I waste the time I should be using to make memories with you for questioning something I'll only get the answer on the vacation's last day?

"Can I have my cuddles first? I'm freezing." I didn't say a thing but threw my hands to embrace you instead. Do I look that dumb to not notice how freezing your body was?

"Are you sick?" I asked as I looked up on you while my head is leaned at the crook of your neck.

"I look dead, right?" 

When the lights are out and a shade of dim light hits your face, you do. A scary view, honestly. But when the lights are on, you're just a freezing reddish meat. I only realized that now actually.

You laughed when I didn't say a thing. I don't know what your thoughts are, but maybe you were thinking that I noticed. If not, then maybe confused, you think. I have no idea either.

"Have you noticed how we are still compatible despite of you sharing warmth to this freezing body?"

Freezing body sounds quite weird. I did noticed, but I should've opened my mind to know and accept the truth and pretended as if I didn't know anything instead. Sigh.