" I'm always early." I say, busy trying to fix up my hair while staring out the window.
We remain in silence for a while and after tying my hair up, I turn to face her. She's sitting on my bed, doing nothing but just staring at me.
" Only one more day left." She says.
" One more day." I agree.
With the silence stretching between us, I go back to sitting on my bed and lean against the wall, now facing her. She shifts a bit so she's now facing me and all we do is keep on passing looks to each other, as if both of us are waiting for each one to say something first.
" I heard from a little birdie that you had company last night."
Patrick.
Honestly I'm not really surprised she asked this, because with Vicky, she can't help but want to know things that may concern me. By this, it is her own way of protecting me which I understand. For some weird reason today, I'm quite not as chilled about the fact that I was inbetween hers and Patrick's discussion.
Shaking this thought or feeling off, I try to lighten the mood.
" And who might that Little Birdie be, Patrick?" I tease.
This makes her to shoot me with a playful warning glare.
" For your own info, there are a lot of little birdies out here." She defends herself.
Or maybe Patrick.
" Neither of them takes your breath away like he does." I say, wiggling my brows.
" Oh please, my breath is just fine, right here in my system, securely safe." She waves me off like I just told her something silly.
Chuckling, I say, " that might be so, but you wouldn't be saying that in his presence because, you'll be blushing like a school girl and silently hoping that he sweeps you off into the sunset."
I place the back of my hand against my forehead in a dramatised way, with my eyes trailing up to the ceiling.
After my little performance, she just stares at me, like she's looking at a different person.
" Okay, you read a lot of romance novels." She points to me.
" Or maybe I watched titanic and thought oh, that could be Patrick and Vicky, sailing away into the sunset. "
" More like drown into the ice cold water." She mutters.
" And that too." I say, making us both to smile.
" I'm going to miss you." I say, making her smile to faulter.
" Okay let's go, we've got to feed that grumbling tummy of yours." She lightly pats my leg and rises to her feet. I watch as she fixes her uniform, straightning invisible lines.
I smile to myself, knowing that Vicky is not big on sentimentals especially expressing her feelings.
" A little hesitant about going home, maybe because of him?" She asks me and I already know that she's talking about Luke.
" Maybe, but I don't - I don't know much about him anymore, it's been 2 years passed now." I admit.
She gives off a nod before heading to the door.
" What do you think I should do, if - if he comes back to see me?" I bring her to a pause before she can step out of the room.
Looking over her shoulder she says," you know what I think about people and chances, but you, yourself must be comfortable with your decision , to not be filled with regret by your decision."
" It's my decision anyway right?"
" Right." She says nodding, stepping out of my room.
" 5 minutes!" I hear Vicky call out from the hallway, making me smile to myself.
Instantly my smile slips off when I think about Luke. Not wanting to dwell on thoughts about him, I decide to follow Vicky. Right as I close the door, at the corner of my eye, my focus is on one door, his door. Before I can think too much about what I'm doing, my feet head over to it.
Now here I am, standing in front of Connor's door, not quite sure of what I'm doing here. Before I can ponder on this, I knock on his door.
No answer.
Meaning to move away from the door, suddenly I stop when the door swings open, making me to take a step back. There he stands with a pair of slacks, and shirt which shows off his muscles, disheveled hair and of course being barefoot. At first he is taken by surprise that I'm standing here but then he relaxes a bit, totally expressing his curiosity of why I'm standing in his doorway.
" Hi." He says, though it should be me saying this since I'm the one on his doorstep.
" Hi." I say, shifting slightly on my heel.
Silence stretches out between us and I find myself lightly scratching on my arm.
" Would you like to come in?" He asks.
" No! " I immediately say, more strongly then intended.
Well I am surprised that he'd ask me that.
" I - I'm leaving on Saturday." I say before I spin on my heel and rush away from there, not even looking back to see his reaction.
******
Breakfast went by in a blur since all that's been in mind, was none other than what happened earlier. Like a lost person, I stood in front of Connor and just shared something that is none of his concern.
I mean why did I do it?
Now that's one question that has me deep in thought for the whole of breakfast and almost the whole morning. Being left with a few minutes, before today's activity which is the book club meeting, I decide to pop by my room so I can take my book for the meeting. Upon reaching my room , an instant movement shocks me where it takes me a couple of seconds, to realize that someone is dragging me by arm, to where? I have no idea.
Things only register when I find myself against a wall in an empty hallway, it only dawns on me that someone just kidnapped me, more like Connor did. Looking at him, I see him walking past me which has me curious.
" Come on." That's all he says while walking .
It takes a minute before I actually do follow him to where ever he's going. Oh I haven't forgotten that he kidnapped me and wants to land us both into trouble.
Connor leads me up a flight of stairs that seem to go on forever. Maybe it's me being dramatic since I'm so unfit. About to just quit and turn back, the stairs lead to a door that I'm quite suspicious of , more like what is at the other side of it.
" Where are you going?" I finally ask, totally out of breath.
" Just wait and see." He says, looking over his shoulder.
With nothing further being said, he heads to the door while I remain standing at a distance from him. I watch as he tries opening the door but it doesn't budge, he tries again , and again there's no luck.
" I think we should go back." I tell him.
He attempts to try again , totally ignoring me, I now notice that he is has something in his hand, more or less like a hair pin. Now I start to panic at the thought of us actually breaking in somewhere private.
" Connor?" I call him but he is too busy being occupied to listen.
" Connor, maybe we should - ," just then, the door opens and with this, Connor looks over his shoulder at me with the biggest victory grin ever.
Still feeling slightly uncomfortable about this whole breaking entry thing, I make an attempt to turn around and bolt out of here, but then Connor distracts my plans and tells me to follow him, which with resignation, I do .
We go up another pair of stairs before reaching our destination, oh and guess where it is?
The roof.
Nothing could have prepared me for this, being on the rooftop with a guy I barely know.I mean why did he bring me here, wait, he doesn't want to murder me does he?Looking around, I notice the small green house, having been placed right at the center, along with benches, pot plants etc.Wow someone has been busy. I'm greatly in awe of the view that one is able to see from up here." Cool right?" He says while he moves about.I don't say anything but just look around before I decide to take a seat on the bench, so I can actually take this all in." Wow." I say to myself." Wow indeed." My head whips to Connor who is now taking a seat next to me." How did you -"" I have my ways." He says confidently." We shouldn't be here." I remind him." I know
Nothing seems to want to come out of my mouth when there's a staring match happening, between the three of us.Thank heavens Vicky is the first one to break the silence. " You have been called by Doctor Anthon." She tells Connor who gives me a sideways glance before he turns on his heel and walks away.Now being left with Vicky, I decide to not fall back into that silence and go inside my room, where she follows behind and I won't be surprised if she questions me of my whereabouts.I throw myself on the bed and stare at the ceiling, letting my body weight to take over. The silence still remains between us and I decide to sit upright on the bed. I see her standing by the door, watching me." New friend?" She finally asks.I shrug, getting up off the bed and walking over to my closet, to search for something to change into. I finally find what I'm looking for, which is a short sleeved grey shirt.I turn to face Vicky ."Is h
My feet are too slow today, it's like they are made of steel or something and I'll explain why I feel this way. All the way from my room, down to the reception area, I have been dragging my feet and it's not by choice but my feet which are like rooted to the ground.It's as if they don't want to move at all while my mom is moving about normally. I watch her talking to doctor Anthon, who's standing by my mom's car with her arms behind her back, giving off a more relaxed and content like expression while she listens to my mom blabber about God knows what.When I said that my feet are too slow I meant it, I'm still standing in the front door, staring at my mom and doctor Anthon.A soft hand touches my shoulder and I already know who it is. I watch the two ladies for a bit, being busy in conversation."You know how bad I am with goodbyes, so I won't say it."" I know." I tell Vicky.
Nothing seems worse then what I had experienced 10 minutes ago. I woke up with me in the emergency room where I was bombarded by people, oh and not just any people, Mom, Vicky, Doctor Anthon and a doctor .I got both a scold and hug from my mom, the doctor telling me of my sugar levels being low and me being dehydrated, oh and that I need to get the necessary foods since my body was still very much small, whatever that meant. Doctor Anthon was just Doctor Anthon, who said a few words apart from Vicky who has not spoken anything.So now it is two hours later and I am sitting on the bed that I was lying on and my mom is just standing by the window, refusing to look at me while we wait for Doctor Anthon to come in." I'm sorry." That's all I manage to say which almost sounds like a whisper.My mom shifts slightly and looks at me. Looking at her now, I see both concern and a bit of hurt deep within. Now
Calm. That's me right about now.I had a fulfilling spiritual therapy and now I'm sitting on a bench outside , enjoying the cool air but of course plans are thrown out the window when I see Connor coming my way.The memory of last night invades my calm thoughts and now regret plays deep within me. Last night shouldn't have happened.I shouldn't have revealed myself so much, having myself exposed and vulnerable and letting him see me so weak. It shouldn't have to be up to him to comfort me and bear my baggage, I just can't do that to him when he too is dealing with his own stuff, I just can't be that selfish.My thoughts soon disappear when I see him standing in front of me and he is smiling at me, not a big smile just a small one." I think I might be in trouble," he says as he takes a seat next to me."Bound to happen." I say and he smirks at me and my lips lift int
It's been 2 days since I last talked to Connor and in all honesty, I feel utterly bored and have been down.I can't blame anyone but me. This is my own doing and now I will have to deal with it.I'm pretty sure that I'll be annoying Vicky soon with how I have been been in these two days. I've withdrawn a little bit and we don't talk as much and that I know greatly, how frustrating it can get for Vicky.I can't lie and say that there isn't that twinge of hurt, when I walk past him or have him avoid me at every chance he gets. It's there and damn it, I can't help but admit to missing him. I still don't get what it is about him that makes trying to put distance between us so hard, I mean we don't exactly know each other but gosh, if I don't miss that boy.Even through my internal battle of trying to suppress any thoughts of him or the fact that I miss him, I can't ignore that I pretty much asked him to stay away from me and to leave me be. I was doing
Nothing seems better than today, being under nice cool weather and having a nice book in hand, to keep me entertained. I'm seated under the same tree that I've sat at, for all these years and just like the last time being here, I feel relaxed and feel like nothing can mess up my mood.I'm all done with my activity and now have nothing better to do but let thoughts of Connor to invade my mind. It's hard not to miss him, even after days have passed, I miss our friendship and just having someone in my corner.Well I may feel all these emotions and fight with my decision of whether to let him back into my life or not, whilst still here at the center. I know that I should do as Vicky had advised and do all I can to actually leave, but leaving seems like my last priority when I think about Connor and our little friendship.Thinking about what I want at the moment, I think back to a time when I'd had those book moments whic
Distracted, that's me.I've been like this for most of the time mom has been here, telling me all about her Mr Perfect.Okay, I love my mom but gosh, the way she has been carrying on about this person makes the idea of meeting him one thing to dread doing. I feel like she's trying way too hard for me to be impressed, which is not the case at the moment.I mean I'm not very fond of the way their relationship seems to moving , its pace proves quite fast and I don't want my mom to get burnt and crash like her past relationships, where I was one left to help her get back onto her feet. In those times I've found myself neither having a choice but to be dragged into watching soppy romantic movies, eat alot of junk food and listen to heartbreaking songs.No, not this time. I can't go through all that again.Placing all concerns aside and actually taking a good look at my mom now, I notice something I haven't seen before, it's diffe