I got both a scold and hug from my mom, the doctor telling me of my sugar levels being low and me being dehydrated, oh and that I need to get the necessary foods since my body was still very much small, whatever that meant. Doctor Anthon was just Doctor Anthon, who said a few words apart from Vicky who has not spoken anything.
So now it is two hours later and I am sitting on the bed that I was lying on and my mom is just standing by the window, refusing to look at me while we wait for Doctor Anthon to come in.
" I'm sorry." That's all I manage to say which almost sounds like a whisper.
My mom shifts slightly and looks at me. Looking at her now, I see both concern and a bit of hurt deep within. Now guilt dawns on me.
Before I can dwell on my feelings, we hear the door click open and in comes Doctor Anthon with a board in hand.
" Looking good Bailey and I hope that goes with how you are feeling at the moment." She says, passing a look between us.
" What's the verdict?" My mom asks anxiously.
Wow my mom quick and straight to the point, I'm surprised and I can see that Doctor Anthon is too, especially when I see her quirk her brow up.
" Due to the circumstances, both with the incident that just occurred along with the very first time Bailey came here, we seem to notice a somewhat similar phase taking place, more like a pattern. We believe a two weeks trial of her remaining here might be good for Bailey right now."
" So she's staying again?" My mom asks, somewhat irritated and I frown at her behaviour.
" Yes, for two weeks." A mental smile creeps up and I release a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"Ha." My mom sighs before she asks." So what did you mean by a trial week?"
" With Bailey here, we will be keeping an eye on her to really determine if she's really ready to be out there and be alone."
" I already know the rest and I hope it doesn't come to that." My mom says.
Silence stretches out between us.
" Well I think we should be getting Bailey unpacked." My mom says.
" Yes, Bailey you may be excused, I'd like to discuss something with your mom."
I hop off the bed and head out, right after I spare a last glance to my mom who looks tired and hurt.
Nothing is worse then having your parent disappointed in you, the guilt gnaws at you in ways even you can't explain. You try to brush it off and base it as the usual act that parents play, but when their words and expressions repeatedly play in your mind, nothing seems to beat these two words from coming out, I'm sorry.
That's all that could come out at that moment and it's the same words that want to escape me now as my feet stay rooted by the door, while my eyes never leave Vicky, who's back is facing me.
Remaining where I'm standing, I wait for her to make the first move. Finally she slowly turns around and faces me and I'm struck cold by what I see. Vicky, the one who is not all into sentimental things has slightly red eyes and looks like she had been crying.
" Vicky."
I'm simply cut off by she pulling me inside and she closing the door, after that she avoids my eyes as she says." I said take care of yourself not ' take care your life', " her voice rises on the few last words, making me to flinch back.
Wow, I've never seen her so upset and I'm totally speechless.
I watch her take deep breaths before she calmly continues." What were you thinking, doing what you did?"
" I wasn't thinking." I mutter.
"Clearly." She mutters too.
There's another moment of silence between us before she says, " do you know that you almost gave me a heart attack, when I thought you would fall but thank goodness for that boy, Cole."
" Connor." I correct her, but by the look she gives me, I don't think she appreciates that.
" I'm sorry." I say, just to divert the attention away from him ,who I last saw on the roof.
"Don't you ever do something like that do you hear me?" She points her finger at me as she says this and all I do is nod my head.
I'm surprisingly pulled in for a tight hug in which takes me a few minutes for me to respond.
" Promise me." She demands.
" I promise." I say.
She takes a step back from me and gives me a small smile in which I return too. Just then a knock sounds, breaking the moment.
Vicky opens the door to reveal my mom.
"Excuse me." Vicky says heading out, leaving us alone.
The awkward silence is too much for me that I decide to sit on my bed where she joins me after a while. " I don't have much to say but that I'm glad that you are okay."
"But you're mad at me." I finish for her.
"More hurt than mad. Bea you need to understand that you're my only daughter and that I can't lose you, not when - ," before she can even finish, I attack her with immediate embrace where she hugs me back tightly, just like she will never see me again.
" I have something to tell you which I meant to tell you when we got home."
" What is it?" She takes a deep breath. "I met someone."
It takes a second for what she's just said to register and I lean back.
Looking at her now, I notice the slight blush that creeps up on her cheeks at the mention of this someone, but soon it is replaced by concern as she looks at me. I guess she was not expecting me to just remain silent for so long.
" Uh, who?"
" His name is Keith Barrot, he's a doctor and he's a great guy."
" You said that about the last one." I say.
" I know but he's different."
"Sure he is." I say sarcastically, earning myself a dirty look from my her but I brush it off.
I know how this story will end, just like all the others before this Keith, especially another jerk name Brad.
" He's not Brad." She mentions as if she's reading my mind.
" How so?"
"He doesn't make me feel like I'm worthless, he treats me like the most important person in his life and tells me that he loves me." He did what?
"Wait, wait, he told you he loved you?" She bops her head up and down.
" That is um..." I trail off, not finding the words.
" I know, he's handsome, has got these gorgeous eyes - "
"Okay too much info. How long have you two - ," I don't get to finish my sentence when I notice her shift on the bed uncomfortably.
"Mom?" I press.
" Six months." She says so softly that I almost miss her words.
" Wow." That's all that comes out of my lips because she has just struck me out cold.
" I know that it was wrong for me to keep it hidden for so long but Bea, you have to understand that I did this to protect you and not expose you to any more bad vibes, especially with the males in my life. I'm sorry and I know that you're mad - ."
"Mom calm down before you get yourself a heart attack." I say, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her slightly, so as to gain her attention.
" Wait, you aren't mad?"
" Well um, I seriously don't know what to say."
" I understand that I've just sprung this on you but seriously honey, I've never felt like this before, not since your father died. I feel positive about this one and once you two meet -"
" Woah, w-what do you mean we meet?" Now I'm frowning at her, I hope she doesn't mean what I think she means.
" Well I was hoping that you two could meet, he would really like to finally meet you."
" Mom, I know that you're excited and all but I need to take this all in first."
" Okay." She nods as she takes my hands into hers.
Before she says something, a knock comes through and Patrick peeks his head in."Sorry to disturb you ladies but -"
" Yeah yeah, kicking me out I see." She teases, waving him off.
I watch as she moves off the bed and motions for me to do so, where both of us hug each other for the last time before she leaves, Patrick gives off a nod before he too disappears, leaving me to be alone once again.
*******
Laying in bed in the dark, staring up at the ceiling and letting myself be haunted by a memory, I thought I never would think of again.
I can just remember how it was when their negative words hit me hard, the shoving, the pushing and bullying, I always dreaded going to school and having to face those people, I also didn't like being in the dark most of the time and -
Click, click.....What?
The sound seems to be coming from the window and I don't think it will stop anytime soon. I get off the bed and go on to the window, opening it and taking a step back as I wait and wait and wa..... I watch in silence as the person enters and with no further doubt, I'm pretty sure it's Connor.
" Almost didn't make it." Yep, that's him.
I don't say anything but take a seat on the floor, leaning my back against the bed. He remains standing.
I see his figure shuffling about and I know that he is searching for the light.
" Don't switch it on." I say.
" Why?"
" It's better this way." I say softly, almost in a whisper.
Thank heavens he doesn't question me or switches the light on but only walks over to me and joins me on the floor.
A moment of silence stretches out between us and before I know it, tears stream down my face and small soft cries slip out with no warning at all. He pulls me onto his lap and holds me.
I'm not in my right state of mind and right now, the moment of silence and being comforted by this stranger has me welcoming the warmth of someone, who is showing me that he is listening.
He doesn't say anything as I slowly calm down and lean more into his chest .
I'm relieved that I don't have to say anything but just welcome the comfort. Exhaustion takes over where I close my eyes and let myself drift away into nothingness.
Calm. That's me right about now.I had a fulfilling spiritual therapy and now I'm sitting on a bench outside , enjoying the cool air but of course plans are thrown out the window when I see Connor coming my way.The memory of last night invades my calm thoughts and now regret plays deep within me. Last night shouldn't have happened.I shouldn't have revealed myself so much, having myself exposed and vulnerable and letting him see me so weak. It shouldn't have to be up to him to comfort me and bear my baggage, I just can't do that to him when he too is dealing with his own stuff, I just can't be that selfish.My thoughts soon disappear when I see him standing in front of me and he is smiling at me, not a big smile just a small one." I think I might be in trouble," he says as he takes a seat next to me."Bound to happen." I say and he smirks at me and my lips lift int
It's been 2 days since I last talked to Connor and in all honesty, I feel utterly bored and have been down.I can't blame anyone but me. This is my own doing and now I will have to deal with it.I'm pretty sure that I'll be annoying Vicky soon with how I have been been in these two days. I've withdrawn a little bit and we don't talk as much and that I know greatly, how frustrating it can get for Vicky.I can't lie and say that there isn't that twinge of hurt, when I walk past him or have him avoid me at every chance he gets. It's there and damn it, I can't help but admit to missing him. I still don't get what it is about him that makes trying to put distance between us so hard, I mean we don't exactly know each other but gosh, if I don't miss that boy.Even through my internal battle of trying to suppress any thoughts of him or the fact that I miss him, I can't ignore that I pretty much asked him to stay away from me and to leave me be. I was doing
Nothing seems better than today, being under nice cool weather and having a nice book in hand, to keep me entertained. I'm seated under the same tree that I've sat at, for all these years and just like the last time being here, I feel relaxed and feel like nothing can mess up my mood.I'm all done with my activity and now have nothing better to do but let thoughts of Connor to invade my mind. It's hard not to miss him, even after days have passed, I miss our friendship and just having someone in my corner.Well I may feel all these emotions and fight with my decision of whether to let him back into my life or not, whilst still here at the center. I know that I should do as Vicky had advised and do all I can to actually leave, but leaving seems like my last priority when I think about Connor and our little friendship.Thinking about what I want at the moment, I think back to a time when I'd had those book moments whic
Distracted, that's me.I've been like this for most of the time mom has been here, telling me all about her Mr Perfect.Okay, I love my mom but gosh, the way she has been carrying on about this person makes the idea of meeting him one thing to dread doing. I feel like she's trying way too hard for me to be impressed, which is not the case at the moment.I mean I'm not very fond of the way their relationship seems to moving , its pace proves quite fast and I don't want my mom to get burnt and crash like her past relationships, where I was one left to help her get back onto her feet. In those times I've found myself neither having a choice but to be dragged into watching soppy romantic movies, eat alot of junk food and listen to heartbreaking songs.No, not this time. I can't go through all that again.Placing all concerns aside and actually taking a good look at my mom now, I notice something I haven't seen before, it's diffe
"Okay, it's simple, we introduce each other and go with the basics. It's just a way to get to know more of each other." Conner explains and I just stare at him.Both Connor and I are sitting right outside my door, it's late but I can't sleep. Connor surprised me by rocking up on my doorstep, whining about not being able to sleep too and that he's bored, so as a good friend, I thought I'd keep him company, right outside my door and not in my room." I think we should skip introductions, we are way past that." I suggest.He quirks his brow at me before saying, " I'm tall, good looking and -""And you are bad at this.""How come?"" All I hear from you is about how you look but not about you." I say, making him sigh out, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes."Okay, I'm the last born at home and I dislike the responsibilities that
I knew that I shouldn't have asked him, now I'm instantly starting to regret it.Okay, so after I asked him about the way he was looking at me, I got my answer. Not much was said but his actions spoke for him, when he started to climb the tree that I was sitting under.Now here I am, busy climbing the tree and mentally praying that I don't fall."Ha." A sigh escapes me after I finally join him and I am sitting as comfortable as I possibly can.Looking down, I realize that it is a bit high, which doesn't help that dizziness wants to take over right now.Moving my eyes elsewhere but the ground, I feel his eyes on me, making me to look at him, only to see a frown on his forehead." Are you okay?"" Yeah, just trying to figure out how much injury I'll get once I make the jump."" You are not jumping from here." He says, shaking his head." Why not?" I ask , frowning at him." Because I don'
There are moments in life, when one is faced with unforeseen occurrences, maybe something quite imaginative yet a possibility at the same time. It's almost like when you encounter something and you do all you can, to not hang on to the outcomes of that incident, event or just being around someone.It's usually so easy to carry on with the same daily routine that you'd been doing for so long, and now when someone suddenly comes along, erases or disrupts just a minor of your plans, then you just know that you are in some sort of trouble.It's never easy, breaking away from what you are so used to and try fit someone new, in a part of your life, who not only doesn't have to do much to get a reaction out of you, but the one who doesn't seem to stop making you feel crazily open-minded, about trying something new.Connor, that's him.After spending some time with him and of course after what happened yeste
Two weeks trial.It has already begun and already a day has passed, I don't know how I feel about this because a part of me wants to go home, while the other finds itself wanting to stay.I don't even know if this is about me anymore or maybe it's Connor or just my fears of getting back into the outside world.Vicky and I haven't spoken to each other since yesterday.I don't know, maybe this is me being stubborn but I'm still a little mad at her, for what she did. Even though Vicky and I are going through a minor glitz, I do miss talking to her.She's my friend or more like my big sister and guardian here. She knows me and I think more than my own mother sometimes does.I did mention the two week trial thing which instead of him being affected about this, his eyes began to twinkle and I instantly knew that he was summing up some crazy thought in his mind.I shake my head slightly and try focus on what I'm doing. It's my day acti