Chapter 0006

Xavier POV:

"I couldn't stop thinking you. About what you were doing? Who you were with? Are you safe? Those were the worst thoughts Athena the ones where I didn't know what, who you were doing? Or where you were? Those thoughts drove me out of my mind." I growled out, those thoughts were always on my mind it was like an infection taking over. I would wake up gasping for air during the night thinking about if she's safe? What is she doing? Did she find someone new? During those times I hated her more, because I was not supposed to be thinking those things, I was supposed to be enjoying my life with the one I choose. I rejected her because I truly loved Anna I believed that I should have chosen my future that the fates got it wrong.

I lean in closer my nose nuzzling the back of her head, I took a deep breath l couldn't get enough of her smell, she smelled like the ocean and lillies. I close my eyes and continue enjoying her smell, I forgot how she smells, when she was here I would propusley found her just so I can smell her to calm me and my wolf. My wolf hated me during that time he hated how much we hurt Athena. After she left her smell disappeared along with her and I would go to the beach just to get the smell of the ocean, but it wasn't the same. God this is so wrong I shouldn't feel like this I should reject her, get out us out of this misery, let her find someone she loves, someone who is whole and can give her the love she deserves.

I felt her tense and I knew she was about to turn around and hurl angry words at me and most likely slap me for being this close to her. I knew I had to hurt her with my words so she can hate me even more so I said the words that I knew that would break her heart. "When I should have been happy because I got everything I wanted the love of the person I was in love with forever. When you left something inside me broke and I hated you for it and I cursed the fates because instead of getting the love of my life as a mate I got the weak sister the one who would follow me around as puppy dog hoping that I will love her. I will never love you Athena I told you that when I rejected you and I meant it, I felt pity for you. Always in the shadow of your twin" I chuckled darkly, little did she know I was also killing myself.

I saw her crumble then but I continued anyway "You will stay here and not leave because I said so and if you defy me Athena you do not want to know what I am capable of" I said while letting go of me and stepping back. I am so fucking selfish, I lost Athena once, and I just can't go through that again even if it means making us both miserable.

She opened the door and ran out I can feel my wolf howling for his mate it was a pain that I couldn't get rid of. I screamed and began throwing my furniture, I wanted to break everything, I continued to throw everything until there was nothing else to destroy.

Out of breath I dropped to my knees and began to cry. Why? Why did the fates have to curse me? Athena was my best friend I loved her at one point Athena meant the world to me, but I have always loved her sister like she was my sun. Is this my punishment for not following fates plans? I stayed there with my head hung down low and tears running down my face.

I finally snapped my head up when I heard the door open. Athena mom came through the door and closed the door quietly and looked around the room at the destruction I caused.

"Oh Xavier" she whispered. Athena mom has always been like a second mother to me she was through everything and I know she knows what I did to her daughter, she never told me she knew but I knew with the way her attitude changed towards me and even Anna.

"I'm sorry" I croak out. What I can I say?

She kneels down before me and takes my face in her hands. I look into her eyes and I see she has tears running down her face.

"You need to let my daughter go." she says.

At first I believe she is talking about Anna, but then I realize she is talking about Athena.

"You need to let her live her life. I know Xavier I know she is your mate I have known she has been your mate since you claimed Anna was your mate, I remember the way she broke down afterwards, but I was a coward I didn't want to hurt Anna because she was daughter also, and in turn I caused the most damage to my other daughter. I will not be a coward anymore I will stand up for my daughter. You need to stop being selfish and reject her, let her be with someone she loves, let her live her life" she tells me quietly and strongly.

"I can't" I croak out.

She shakes her head sadly and whispers out "Then you are not the man I thought you were. You are a coward Alpha Xavier." She lets go of my face and gets up quietly and leaves the room.

Doesn't she get it, I know I'm a coward, I'm selfish, I'm a horrible human being. For god sakes I loved Anna with everything I had in me I choose her for a reason and I don't regret it, but I need Athena I have always needed her. Athena was my other half she is in my soul, even though I wished it was Anna. How do I let go of a love that I believed I always had for a person?

I am just a broken selfish man.