Chapter 4

My head was still reeling from shock as the male nurse led me to the chair by my father’s bedside. I don’t think I could do it all over again. I might have been young when mom died but that doesn't mean that when I became old enough to understand what had happened to her, I didn't feel like this. 

I sat down feeling numb. My dad, the strongest man I knew, was lying there, unconscious. A man I thought could never be defeated by the ills of the world was now being brutally defeated by cancer. If only cancer was human, I would have used my last drop of blood to rip it apart in the most painful way for causing me so much pain. 

The pain that is currently clouding my mind was not one I could cure with drugs. It was like someone was squeezing my heart that had thorns in them. I could not control myself as the tears came cascading down like a waterfall whose gates had just been opened. 

I don’t know how long I sat there crying, unable to control myself or even look at my dad for fear I may die of pain. I didn’t want to see him so weak and defeated. The doctor and the male nurse stood there awkwardly and just watched me cry out the tears. I thought I was exhausted but it seemed as though I had an endless supply of it. 

I cried until it became too exhausting to do anything but whimper. This life was so fucking unfair to the good people in it. The good ones should never have to suffer like this. They should be allowed to live long. 

“But how is it possible that he had been fighting this cancer for almost five years and not once did I suspect or even see him sick?” it was still so disbelieving to me. How was it that I had not once seen him terribly sick even once? Five years is an awful time to be sick and not one person would be aware. 

“We didn’t think it would get this bad. The drugs seemed to be working just fine and he had not gotten to the stage where he would have needed chemotherapy. Everything just spiralled down so fast.”  The doctor’s reply seems pathetic to me. How did you not notice that your patient’s condition was getting worse?  Was he not competent? 

Those questions were on the tip of my tongue but I held back for the sole reason that Dr Martin was someone my dad respected a lot. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me, especially if he could hear me. 

“When will he wake up?” I asked instead, finally getting the courage to look at my dad’s face. I shuffled the chair closer to Dad’s bed and took his hands in mine. They were so cold as though he was freezing so I adjusted his covers properly. 

“We cannot say for certain but we hope he does soon. We promise you we are doing the best we can” There was no way he actually expected me to believe him when he looked like he didn’t believe those words himself

“Can I have a moment with him alone?”

“Of course, Come Gabriel” They both left the room including Duke. I had to look twice because I certainly did not see him. Had he been standing there the whole time? I should not be surprised though. That was one of Duke’s special abilities. He could be in a room and not be seen unless he wants to. I always envied him as a child and would always tell him to teach me his superpowers 

When the last person, Gabriel, shut the door behind him, I let out a shaky breath, trying to gather my thoughts. 

“Hey Dad, I don’t like seeing you like this, so unresponsive. It is scary. It reminds me too much of Mom and I don't like it.” I took a long pause, probably waiting for a reply that would not come.

“I am sorry for not coming home when you wanted me to. You probably knew that you would end up like this and wanted to spend so much time with me but I was being a brat as always. I feel so stupid now” The tears were threatening to drop but I held myself back and continued.

“I wonder if you feel so disappointed with me. I would be if I were you. I should have been by your side as you struggled but I was halfway across doing things that didn’t matter. I am such a disappointment”

“Hazel, you must not say such things to yourself. Your father would be furious if he heard you say such things to yourself” I turned to see Duke at the door. Just like I said earlier, he had the ability to move unnoticed so I wasn’t surprised that he had come back into the room but I was unable to hear him come in.

“But it is the truth Duke. he called me several times to come back home but I was being stubborn. I should have been here with him.” 

“Don’t blame yourself any longer. We should be positive that the medications work so he can get better” 

“I really hope it does” Not just hope, I was mentally on my knees praying that the medications work. 

“Let’s get you to your room, you have to rest”

“I don’t want to leave Dad all by himself. I am not tired so I don't need to rest. ``I was not going to leave Dad alone any longer. I was going to be by his side till he opened his eyes.

“You will fall sick if you don't rest and eat properly. I am certain that you do not want to be ill by the time your father regains his consciousness?'' Well, he had a point there. I hated it when he was always right. 

“Fine, I’ll eat something and rest but promise to call me as soon as Dad wakes up”

“I promise you’ll be the first person I call. Now run along, you must be exhausted” I was reluctant to leave but Duke had promised to call me so I guess I could hurry and get freshened up.

I hurried out of the room and made my way to the west wing of the mansion where my room was located. The door was clean and well organized which was a relief because it had been such a mess when I left it. I had not planned to go to Italy so I had turned my room upside down in a haste to pack so I could catch my flight. The trip was poorly planned. I don’t even know why I was in such a hurry to leave the house as though I was on a witch hunt.

My box was already in my room and it had been unpacked already. Usually, I did things like this, myself but since I was occupied with Dad, they used that opportunity to arrange my things. There was a knock on the door before I could undress. I yelled at the person to come in and Monica, one of the house helpers stuck her head through the door.

“Young mistress, would you like to eat here or downstairs?”

“Here would be just fine”

“Okay”

“Thank you” She left the room to probably get my food. I undressed and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. What had intended to be a short shower, ended up taking almost thirty minutes. I found myself going over my fears and worries and even delved into some disturbing theories of what might happen. 

When I exited the bathroom, there was a food tray set up on my bed. I entered the walk-in closet and picked out sweatpants and a crop top. I put my blonde hair into a messy bun to get it out of my face. I studied my face in the mirror. My blue eyes had become so dull. 

People usually called me a living doll or an AI. They said my face looked unrealistic and I would not lie when I said I loved the attention. My long wavy hair fell just above my waist, I had bright blue eyes which were big and doe-like and a small pointed nose and natural pouty lips which made me look younger than 24. 

I would admit that I had used my face countless times to get my way in situations that I could not walk out of by myself. It was so much easier to get people to do what you wanted when you were pretty. I tried my best to make sure I didn't overdo it though. 

I thought I was not tired but when I was stuffed with a good meal and was lying on my bed, I found myself drifting to sleep. Just before I was pulled into sleep I remembered that I had not gone to see Mum so I made a mental note to make sure I go visit her when I woke up. 

She was buried just behind the house in a space that was restricted to everyone except those responsible for cleaning the area. I used to spend hours there when I was younger, reading the same books I read to her before she died. I would read her a book later as well and tell her everything.