My gaze is drawn to the enormous table, and I have the feeling that all eyes are on me. There are expressions of sympathy, pity, contempt, rage, and disgust. My sight wanders across the room and settles on my brother, who is looking down, it must have pained him to see his sister being humiliated like this, and then my gaze falls on Delila, who is seething with rage and has her eyes closed. She opens her eyes to look at me, and I offer her an appreciative nod for not lashing out. I close my eyes and dash out of the dining hall and the packhouse, my head down.Despite the fact that everyone knew, no one ever said it aloud that I am wolfless. Even if they believed me to be cursed or simply thought that I was deemed unworthy to the Goddess, they never voiced it aloud. And, while I am aware of the vile rumours about me and Ciro, no one has ever branded me a whore in front of everyone. Everyone talks about me behind my back, but this is the first time such things have been said directly to
Before we knew it, the moment had come for slower thinking in that soothing amber glow. As I enjoy the soothing breezes brushing my skin through my window and bathe in the symphony of crickets, I feel the tranquil spirit of nature wash over me. When we start getting ready, I feel fully at ease. Delila applies makeup on my face, concealing the dark circles beneath my eyes and the paleness of my skin from the restless night of weeping. She assists me in applying red lipstick and blush in an attempt to make me appear more vibrant and less pale as if I am ill."Isn't this a little too short, Delila?" I anxiously ask, my gaze fixed on my reflection in the mirror."Absolutely not! You have beautiful legs, Nesta. Show them off girl!""All right, fine," I respond hesitantly as I look in the mirror at myself. After a long time, I stepped into a dress that curves and digs into all the contours of my body, making me look like all the females whom males are fascinated in. This dress makes me look
I open my eyes to find myself in a dimly lit room; despite the fact that it is already daytime, no one has opened the heavy drapes to let the sunlight in. The ache in my head ebbs and flows like a frigid tide, yet it is always present. I realise at once why they call it a hangover since it feels like the darkest of clouds has descended on my head and have no intention of lifting anytime soon. My eyes open and close a few times, and when I shift in bed, my entire body groans in soreness. I pull myself up and sit up on the bed. I sigh, massaging my forehead, and the silk duvet that has been covering my body slides off. That's when I notice I'm naked! What! Why in the world am I naked! Oh, my goddess in heaven! What happened last night! How did I end up in this room! That too while naked! As dread overcomes me, I scream in my head. As waves of nausea add to my misery, I instantly wrap myself in the duvet. My phone starts pinging with message after message, and I just want it to shut up!
As I rub my painfully sore body with soap, I wince in pain. My body is covered with purple blotches, particularly on my chest. He must have paid special attention to my bosoms. I feel a rush of heat to my face simply thinking about someone putting their lips and tongue on my breasts. I don't even remember how that might have felt. And that thought alone is enough to dampen my spirits. I wanted my first time to be special, with my moon-blessed. I wished to feel his lips against mine, how his hand would roam around my body, how he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear while he would make love to me. I wished to feel everything. But here I was, rubbing the scent of some male off my body, wondering how it must have felt. I gave myself over to a male whom I might never see again in order to simply quench the flame of some filthy desire. It would be preferable though. It would be better if I never saw that male again. And I'm glad I was drunk enough to not even remember his face.Nausea, a
There is a form of waiting that seems like salty stones kissed by soft onshore winds. It isn't very warm, but there is a sense of tranquilly, of nature, of things to come. Then there's the sort that feels like the head of a mediaeval mace is loose in my stomach and my skull has been pummelling with a large plank of wood. And it was the latter as I waited to feel her, my wolf's presence with in me.After days, months and years of waiting, she finally made her presence known. Taking over my body and mind and shifting her way into the world. It was supposed to be a joyous moment for me and my family. However, this is not the case. Because of my deeds.My body was motionless and in pain as I lay in my bed. Slowly recovering from my first shift at the age of twenty-four. I'm not sure how I got from the healers' chamber to my house, and I'm not sure how long I slept. But when I awoke from my slumber, my mother was nowhere to be seen. And it has been three days, and I still haven't seen her.
What was simply green a week ago has transformed into a garland of the most vivid blossoms. They are colours from which to weave dreams, as smooth and joyous as any silk. Even though the science is fully grasped, the way they originate from the soil, sunshine, and rain feels magical. The older I become, the more I realise what a marvel they are, greater than any image or movie.I take a deep intake of fresh air and wipe away a bead of sweat with the back of my palm. After a week of rain, it is finally sunny outside. And I finally got the opportunity to pluck out the weeds from my garden. I've only been working for a short time, yet my body is already exhausted. Perhaps my body wasn't quite ready to carry both my wolf and another life at the same time.I had assumed that trying to settle my wolf and cope with her would strain my body or require me to work hard. I expected to have to attempt to calm her down, but it turned out the opposite. She is the one who is keeping me calm and sane
“Good morning.” She peeks on my male’s cheek with so much affection that my heart hurt. And I could feel my heart start to bleed as the male destined for me smiles down at the female and kisses her temple with his heart oozing adoration. My wolf was on her hind legs staring at the female through my eyes. But like I had expected, she doesn’t show any hostility. She only whimpers and lowers her head to rest it on her paws.“You didn’t inform me we were expecting a guest?” I am brought back from my world of thoughts when the female pulls back from my male and stands up with her spine straight. A charming sweet smile is what she offers me.“You were already asleep when I received the news of our guest’s arrival, my love.” His voice is thick and husky and they fall in my ears like a sweet melody the Goddess had kept me deprived off. But the way that voice was supposed to make me thirsty, it didn’t. For it is filled to the brim with affection for a female who isn’t me. My love is what he sa
I don’t know how to answer that question. Was it just the booze! And was it just the small skin tight dress I was wearing! Was it just because he was high and aroused that he came to me! And I shamelessly without any restraint gave myself to him just because I was high on liquor! Will I have given myself up to anyone that night! But I thought what I had felt was something more than just arousal and a need to quench my thirst! He is wrong. He has to be. What he feels for that female must be forged and now that I am here, he thinks I am the one who is a fraud. But surely, he will think this through and try to learn the truth when he finds out I carry our pup!“I know I wouldn’t have given myself up just to anyone that night. It was always meant to be you! And today when I-I came here, I t-thought you would be h-happy, ecstatic even. I-I thought y-you would take me in your arms and I would p-proudly declare that I-I’m p-pregnant. That- that I bare our pup!” Without a second thought I blur