chapter 10

Yesterday it all sounded so perfect. Why then am I shitting my pants today?

It's not like I haven't done any joint scene planning before. Beth and Peter both helped me when I had

my first sub, and I've always talked everything through in detail with Charlotte when she let me tie her

up. Over the years I've been doing it over and over again with subs I've only played with for a scene

or two. Why the anxiety now?

It's not even a rational fear, just a feeling in my gut. As if Bella would laugh at me if I say something

stupid. It's ridiculous, really, but it won't go away, as much as I try to get a grip on myself.

I spent the whole day fretting over what to tell her, but by the time I'm home again, I still haven't come

up with an idea that I think is worthy of the occasion. It suddenly seems as if we've done everything at

least five times already, and try as I might, nothing really new comes to my mind. Bella is of course

ecstatic to have me home again, jumping into my arms and k